when dreams are shattered..

[Latinoman]

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career.
I've lost almost 300 games.
26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life.

And that is why I succeed."

- Michael Jordan

He also lost MILLIONS of DOLLARS in gambling and in a stupid divorced (where his wife WON 50% of HIS profits).

Jordan is hardly the man I would want to follow as a role model.

 

[Interceptor]

Mr. P.

You trained for something greater than that job, man.

You have tools and self esteem that no one can ever doubt or take away from you.

Youve gained quite a lot in that time.

You have 'lost' that job.

But youve gained insight, discipline, self esteem, focus, concentration, patience, hindsight and foresight, tactics and strategy, when most people just come home and zone out in front of the tv.


You need to use those skills to focus on another 'dream job' now.


It'll happen.

Do not attach negative emotional charge to this.
That is the lesson here.
It is a 'setback' of sorts. But the battle has only just begun.


It is hard to deal with. Becasue of the emotional investment.

BUT..
...youve learned a valueable lesson about ATTACHING TOO MUCH Emotional Investment on an outcome.

Think about that.

Remember, the consitently successful people dont have failures, they see opportunity in everything, AND...most importantly they do not see things as 'good' or 'bad'.

EVERYTHING is 'neutral'.
You either take advantage of it or you dont.

Do not add more negative emotional charge to this, Im telling you.

This is a brand new start.
And THAT is how the 'millionaire' mind set is based on.


Everything is an OPPORTUNITY for growth.
They never even SEE "failure".


Think about that.

 

[Mr.Positive]

When I woke up this morning after a good nights rest, I first thought that I shouldn't have vented my frustrations here. The last thing I wanted to do was litter the board with venting post.

But, after reading all the uplifting messages you all posted, I'm very glad I did. Thanks for using one of your 10 posts to send your message my way.

Looking back on the past couple of years, and all the rigorous tests I passed, I realize the confidence I've gained, and how much I've improved myself, and the quality of my life.

The physical exam was so tough, most people failed. There were paramedics waiting at the end of the test. The ones that passed had so much drive that they either collapsed at the end from exhaustion, went on oxygen, and a few were even taken to the hospital. My whole body was in pain for a week afterwards, I could barely walk. But I passed.

The psych test, lie detector tests were so stressful my shirt was drenched with sweat at the end of it, and the background integrity process my whole life was looked at...friends, coworkers, family and neighbors interogated, financial records were accessed, driving records, etc..and I passed everything with flying colors to make the top 10.

So, this whole process, all my effort, has definitely made me a better man. That I am grateful for. The past 2 years I've been living a clean healthy lifestyle, I've gotten active in my community by volunteer, I could go on.

So, I'm going to take a little time off, like Mac suggested. Then, keep trying, and look into other cities and departments.

When a door closes, there's usually a window open somewhere. I'm going to find that window.

Instead of cheering you up…I will tell you what I would do. This is what I would do…I will write a “thank you” letter (very professional, etc.) to the hiring authority, the management, the interviewer and any other person with hiring authority.

In that “thank you” letter you will obviously thank them because they considered you for the job. Tell them that this was your dream job and all those hours sacrificing your body, sacrificing your time to study, sacrificing other things in the last two years were NOT done for nothing. The fact that you finished number 8 in the list and did not make the final cut by a mere two applicants has made you stronger and more determine. You are thanking them because they have made you a better person.

Also tell them that you still very interested in future openings, etc. And why it was your dream to work for them..

Latinoman, great advise. I'm going to do this...write a letter thanking the department.

The top 10 guys all passed everything and the department wanted to hire them, it's just unfortunate that there ended up only being 6 spots. I got a chance to meet these guys in person, and they are all great guys, so I couldn't wish anything but the best for them. However, if one of them gets hurt and couldn't continue, I'll be ready.

There's also a small chance that I may be hired in the next round, since I did so well in the process...and writing a letter, like you suggested, will definitely help. Plus, I am very thankful for have been given the opportunity to participate.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Do not attach negative emotional charge to this.
That is the lesson here.
It is a 'setback' of sorts. But the battle has only just begun.


It is hard to deal with. Becasue of the emotional investment.

BUT..
...youve learned a valueable lesson about ATTACHING TOO MUCH Emotional Investment on an outcome.

Think about that.

Interceptor..thanks. You are right. This whole process has been one small victory for me each step of the way. There's nothing negative about that, just the outcome that I've placed so much into achieving.

I'll keep on fighting.

 

[STR8UP]

He also lost MILLIONS of DOLLARS in gambling and in a stupid divorced (where his wife WON 50% of HIS profits).

Jordan is hardly the man I would want to follow as a role model.

You don't have to look to someone as a role model to follow their hard-won wisdom.

 

[DJ Noble]

He also lost MILLIONS of DOLLARS in gambling and in a stupid divorced (where his wife WON 50% of HIS profits).

Jordan is hardly the man I would want to follow as a role model.

Not in your personal life, of course not.

The quote refers to how one should approach a career. The man went on to be one of the greatest in history in his chosen profession. Had he succumbed to failure (being cut from his HS team as Senor Fingers' stated), he never would have realized his full potential. You have a choice in life whether or not to keep fighting for your goals when faced with adversity.

Mr. Positive, I'm glad that you shared your story here. Stay true to your nickname and maintain that optimist outlook.

 

[Latinoman]

To DJNoble:The greatest ever in the basketball profession was Bill Russell. If you look at the definition of WINNER...he will be the one. Search him out. How many titles he won as a player and as a COACH. No one comes close. Also...Jordan tried to play baseball...you know.

But I see your point.




To MR. Positive...make sure you touch on your interest. Perhaps something to the effect that although disapointed, this experience has actually confirmed the fact that this STILL your dream work and that you will continue to work hard toward that dream and goal. Or something like that.

Three short paragraphs (first one to let them know who you are, what job you applied for and your ranking).

Write it to the Department and also to particular Mr. or Ms. or whoever decision makers too.

Take care Mr. Positive.

 

[Scaramouche]

Feel for you Brother....Words of Wisdom...
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
....... then my Son you'll be a Man......

 

[LoneRanger]

Iqqi and Thunder..thanks.

I was trying for a sought-after public safety position. I'll keep trying, but the competition is tough. Thousands of people for only a few jobs. It would involve a pay cut, but give me the opportunity to get involved in helping the community.

A lot of physical training is involved. I've got a cushy office job, boring as hell, but not my calling you could say. Not all of us are meant for the office.

It just sucks. So close, and so much time and effort invested. I'll keep trying though. Like you said, I've got to get it out of my head that I failed, I guess you only fail when you stop trying..

What if turns out that two of the six chosen can't handle the job and eventually drop out? You may get a call.

 

[StevenR]

sorry to hear that, I know exactly how you feel. I also wanted a career that was very competitive, something I dreamed of being and doing since I was a little kid, and I spent years and tens of thousands of dollars, and thousands of hours, to get there. Within less than a year of finally getting that dream job, I developed a relatively minor medical problem, but was still enough that the powers that be would not let me continue to work in that field.

Needless to say I was crushed and I still haven't recovered from that blow years later, I still feel like a loser unfortunately. At least you still have a shot at your career, as someone said some of those chosen may drop out, and you are not precluded from applying to other departments.

I have not totally given up on life yet either, I found something else I am passionate about. I am continuing in a job that I don't have much passion for until I can be at a point where I can make a living at my new career. It is also a very difficult field to break into, but at least it is a free market, and not one where some doctor or bureaucrat is going to tell me I can't do it any longer.

 

[Duke]

Yo Mr. P,

Right now the biggest temptation is to listen to the voice inside your head that says "You just wasted the last 2 years of your life for NOTHING". This pure and utter BS and a form of self-sabotage. That voice wants to punish you for even trying and will do its best to convince you that your efforts are worthless.



^^ See, that is exactly what I am talking about. This is a LIE!

The foundation you've worked so hard for is still there. It's not like you failed the test, gained 50 pounds and lost all your strength/endurance. Remember man, you have surpassed your limits and beat out THOUSANDS of other candidates - that is pretty damn impressive!

In situations like this I always like to think of a young Michael Jordan who interestingly enough did NOT make the cut for varsity team at his school. We all know how he turned out!

The path to success is rife with speedbumps and setbacks. In the moment you hate the resistance, but looking back you will be grateful for the strength and personal resolve it formed within you.

This stroke of "bad luck" is really a gift in disguise!

NEVER stop fighting for the life you dream of!!! :box:

Post of the year? I read this post without the original context of Mr. P's situation and applied it purely to myself and damn...

I'm saving this.

Posts like these change lives.

 

[edmond]

Guys, I took one of the biggest punches that life has ever dealt me today...and I fvcking need to vent.

I've been busting my ass for the past 2 years for my dream career, out of 3000 people, I was ranked at number 8 on the list to get hired. I just found out today, that they are only hiring 6, the top 6 guys. The whole time they were supposed to hire 10, but due to the economy, budget cuts, etc..I just found this out today.

The past 2 years my life has been focused on this. I gained 20lbs in the gym, ran and trained until I threw up, I actually have scars from effort I've put into preparing for this job....and countless nights studying. Sacrifice. Passing test, after test, for the past 2 years.

Building up, 2 years of my focus...gone, just like that.

My problem, my family and friends see me as a rock. I'm the guy who can take anything, with a positive attitude. Today, man my legs feel shakey ...I feel as though I've got nowhere to vent my frustrations sometimes. I'm so fvcking pissed.

I wanted this one job more than anything. It's going to be tough to break the news to everyone that has helped me prepare.

I think I needed to vent this...it's been building up for me all day, since I found out.

In the grand scheme of things, I guess this isn't a huge deal. But to me it is... I just put in so much effort and hope, and now, I need to start for the beginning.

Anyway, I'll bounce back like always. Today I had one dream shattered...fortunately, I've got plenty more. Nonetheless, life can be crushing at times.

Shut the fvck up, its only a BS job.
Get a life.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Do you do drugs? Jesus fvcking Christ...I've seen it all now.

MR POSITIVE. DUDE STAY STRONG.

DO NOT GIVE UP. DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP. YOU THOUGHT THOSE TESTS WERE HARD? WELL THEY WERE.

BUT YOU GOTTA PASS THIS LIFE TEST AS WELL!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!! NEVER NEVER NEVER BOW DOWN IN DEFEAT.

NEVER COLLAPSE AS A QUITTER

ONLY COLLAPSE AT THE FINISH LINE, AS THE WINNER

YOU CAN DO IT AND GOOD THINGS WILL COME TO THOSE WHO PERSEVERE.

ENDURE ENDURE ENDURE

THAT IS WHAT SEPARATES MEN FROM THE REAL MEN.

AND YOU SIR ARE FARTHER ALONG THE ROUTE TO BECOMING A REAL MAN THAN 99.999% OF THE POPULATION.

YOU GOTTA DO IT. IT'S YOUR LIFE.

LISTEN AND READ THAT AGAIN....IT'S YOUR GODDAM LIFE

YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE AT LIFE . . . NEVER GIVE UP . . . AS LONG AS YOU ENDURE, PERSEVERE, AND KEEP WORKING HARD, GOOD THINGS WILL COME YOUR WAY.

it hurts man...I know it hurts...it's happened to the best of us....get cut...get shafted...I've gotten scooped at the last minute...sucks so bad

BUT YOU GOTTA LOOK FORWARD. CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST.

LOSERS LOOK AT THE PAST AND B1TCH. AND STAY IN THE PAST

ONLY LOOK FORWARD. YOU HAD YOUR VENTING, NOW RUN TOWARDS YOUR NEXT GOAL AND DON'T LOOK BACK. YOU HAVE THE EXPERIENCE FROM THE PAST AND THAT'S ALL YOU NEED...NOTHING ELSE...GO AND GET WHAT YOU WANT. AND GOOD LUCK

Desert Fox, thanks for your motivational words....you are 100% correct sir.

I've brushed myself off, and I'm back at it again with 100% determination. I've started up testing with several other departments. I'm giving it my all. I'll reach my goal eventually, as tough as it may be, I'll get there.

I'll never quit on living, and the whole process of achieving a goal, is living life to the fullest!

It's not how hard you get knocked down, it's really, getting back up that matters as they say.

Thanks again.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Shut the fvck up, its only a BS job.
Get a life.

Get a life...ha, wtf do you think I've been doing the last 2 years?

I've been busting my b@lls, but one thing is for sure, I've been living!! I wouldn't trade the last 2 years for anything.

You should try it sometime, or...just b!tch and moan on the internet for the rest of your life.

Good luck to you..

 

[My Name is Somebody]

Do you do drugs? Jesus fvcking Christ...I've seen it all now.

MR POSITIVE. DUDE STAY STRONG.

DO NOT GIVE UP. DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP. YOU THOUGHT THOSE TESTS WERE HARD? WELL THEY WERE.

BUT YOU GOTTA PASS THIS LIFE TEST AS WELL!!!

NEVER GIVE UP!! NEVER NEVER NEVER BOW DOWN IN DEFEAT.

NEVER COLLAPSE AS A QUITTER

ONLY COLLAPSE AT THE FINISH LINE, AS THE WINNER

YOU CAN DO IT AND GOOD THINGS WILL COME TO THOSE WHO PERSEVERE.

ENDURE ENDURE ENDURE

THAT IS WHAT SEPARATES MEN FROM THE REAL MEN.

AND YOU SIR ARE FARTHER ALONG THE ROUTE TO BECOMING A REAL MAN THAN 99.999% OF THE POPULATION.

YOU GOTTA DO IT. IT'S YOUR LIFE.

LISTEN AND READ THAT AGAIN....IT'S YOUR GODDAM LIFE

YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE AT LIFE . . . NEVER GIVE UP . . . AS LONG AS YOU ENDURE, PERSEVERE, AND KEEP WORKING HARD, GOOD THINGS WILL COME YOUR WAY.

it hurts man...I know it hurts...it's happened to the best of us....get cut...get shafted...I've gotten scooped at the last minute...sucks so bad

BUT YOU GOTTA LOOK FORWARD. CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST.

LOSERS LOOK AT THE PAST AND B1TCH. AND STAY IN THE PAST

ONLY LOOK FORWARD. YOU HAD YOUR VENTING, NOW RUN TOWARDS YOUR NEXT GOAL AND DON'T LOOK BACK. YOU HAVE THE EXPERIENCE FROM THE PAST AND THAT'S ALL YOU NEED...NOTHING ELSE...GO AND GET WHAT YOU WANT. AND GOOD LUCK

HELL YEAH!!! I NEED A JAGERBOMB... GIMMIE A JAGERBOMB!

 

[leftForDeadPhoenix]

I've had some setbacks lately myself. I was looking for something to help me out and I found a post Pook put up:
Endure!. The point was that there are many things that people have like talent, education, etc., but the greatest quality to have in life is to endure, to fight. It really helped me to grab my bearings. Take care, friend.