when can one let their guard down to a girl?!

[lamobatsman]

when can one let their guard down to a girl?!

before they even get together...? when can you tell a girl you like her or have feelings for her??

 

[Neon Owl]

You should wait for her to be the first to say these sorts of things or you'll likely end up pushing her away with your needyness...even if she's madly in love with you now, that can all change in a matter of weeks if you show all your cards too early.

 

[Zion]

Never tell. Show.

 

[lamobatsman]

i said this to a girl before after knowing her for 3 weeks:

i know you think this is a bit sad but i do want to make you a reason. i do want to stay up all day and night and talk to you, i do want to chat to you all day when i should be working. Id rather stay in on a sat night and talk to you instead of going out with my mates haha. see this is all your fault! and i would travel 1000 miles to another country just cos of you . my heads telling me not to do all of these things cos its scared il get hurt again.
i dont know how you feel?

she responded with this : Hey i want to say Sorry that i couldnt write! My Internet was broken yesterday on my phone!...i Feel the Same like you...want to Write to you all Day and hear every Minute from you..you have to scared of this Things cause i'm Not such a Person who plays with the Feelings of People

does that mean im still wrong for saying how i felt about her???

 

[Zion]

Without details of your current relationship status , it's shooting in the dark. You've known her for 3 weeks , but how far did you get those 3 weeks ?


Anyway,as a general rule ,these things have a certain habit of backfiring. And when I say backfire ,I mean full on blast to your face , point blank.

 

[lamobatsman]

no this story already ended badly. im looking at hindsight as to what i should have done or shudnt have done

 

[goundra]

sorry, but there are no guarantees about anything. People are individuals, they feel differently about different people, and often, they feel differently about the SAME person, at different times. Especially in the first year or so of "courting" or whatever you call it these days. I don't count on feelings at all. what I count upon is her not wanting to be deported, if we divorce during the first 5 years she is here in US. After 5 years, I will deal with whatever we feel at the time. But basically, I'm MUCH too old for her to be tied to much longer than that. So I am quite prepared to let her go at that point. I have always told her that.