When a woman wants to take it slow

Megaman XIV

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 18, 2009
Messages
205
Reaction score
8
Location
Blytheville, Arkansas
Hey guys, I've been getting this from women at times. To an extent, I think it's a rejection. What do you guys do when a woman pulls this on you? Do you drop her, keep pushing, etc.?
 

Serenity

Moderator
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
5,095
Reaction score
4,953
Age
33
Location
Eye of the storm
Let's say you drop her, then you've lost her and you don't want her enough. Let's say you keep pushing and she wants to take it slow, you'll probably lose her because you didn't respect her enough.

So the solution would be to take it as slowly as her, if you want her and respect her. You might still lose her, so be indifferent about it.
 

thatfeel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 5, 2013
Messages
714
Reaction score
186
And always spin plates.
 

Harry Wilmington

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 19, 2012
Messages
1,201
Reaction score
204
I make it a point not to respond too harshly when women say this. You gotta look at it like this: a woman goes out with 99 guys, all of whom want to bed her/propose to her/express their feelings to her by the 2nd or 3rd date. So, her knee-jerk response to a guy taking her out is "I want to move slow." It's based solely on previous experiences where guys have wanted too much too soon.

However, I'm NOT that guy. Personally, I like taking things slow and getting to know them.... so I make it a point not to do the things most guys do that make them appear as though they're moving too fast. I don't call/text between dates except to ask them out; I wait a minimum of 4 days between dates before asking them out again; I don't push for sex on those first few dates, nor do I get all touchy/grabby before she does; I don't over-compliment her or tell her how much I adore her... THESE are the things that guys do that make a woman feel as though he's moving too fast.

And that's the key - you can't make her FEEL like it's too fast. However, if you're acting patient on those first couple of dates and doing the things I just said above, you can usually have a girl ready to sleep with you by date 2 or 3. Not that that's all you should be in it for - hopefully you actually want long-term relationships with these girls. But the point I'm making is, it's not about how LONG you're dating her before she makes you the boyfriend; it's about how fast she FEELS it's going. If you do the right stuff, you can technically have a girl begging to be your girlfriend in less than a month - but if you're doing the WRONG stuff, you could be dating her for 3 months and have her still thinking you need to slow things down. Hope this helps!
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,104
Reaction score
4,716
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
All of the above, but try not to spend too much money on her. Don't be cheap, but don't go overboard spending $ on her because it might just be low IL / AWing / borderline friendzone disguised as a "quality female that wants to take it slow."
 

Lotus Effect

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 1, 2013
Messages
747
Reaction score
267
Age
36
Location
Lisbon
The pro tip: She wants something, you give it a little less.

She wants you. You show ocasionally
She says she loves you. You say you're really into her.
She wants to take things slow. You want to take things Slower
 

switch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2012
Messages
947
Reaction score
38
Location
living in the middle of effing nowhere
When a woman wants to take it slow = there is a better guy out there , and you are part of the "emergency vaginal reserve". she will fck you if her "main guy" happens to disappear.
 

DragonBlood

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
520
Reaction score
31
Age
36
Lotus Effect said:
The pro tip: She wants something, you give it a little less.

She wants you. You show ocasionally
She says she loves you. You say you're really into her.
She wants to take things slow. You want to take things Slower
This.

Dont give more than your getting, show her request some respect as well....


BUT HEY

Shes not your girlfriend so go around dating other people fast if you want too! :cheer:
 

iamnobody

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 28, 2013
Messages
232
Reaction score
13
Location
Out there
Treat her like she treats betas.
Most times when a chick says she wants to take it slow, you're not her number one priority, she has other guys on the back burner. Don't make a big deal out of it.
You have to make yourself the number one priority in her book by being less available, be seen you with other hot chicks. Decline her offer to meet but give her a counter offer.
 

nostalgic60

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 28, 2013
Messages
12
Reaction score
1
If anyone says they want it slow, it means that somehow you've been too over-eager/desperate/lower value. Reverse it by pulling off the Witness Protection Program.
 

HyperAnalyze

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2013
Messages
182
Reaction score
12
Location
Washington, D.C.
How do you take it slow when getting criticized for not banging her quickly enough?

How do you know if she's not using you as just a toy to talk to?

It's one thing if you are eager or pushy, but its another to be escalating and then she throws out the traditional "i want to take it slow" cack block.
 

Trump

Banned
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
3,032
Reaction score
1,677
Megaman XIV said:
Hey guys, I've been getting this from women at times. To an extent, I think it's a rejection. What do you guys do when a woman pulls this on you? Do you drop her, keep pushing, etc.?
You say "OK" and disappear. She has to do all the calling and initiating now.

If keep going after her, you could take her out on several dates and still not get anywhere since she has protected herself by telling you she "wants to take things slow." Those words have protected her from any touching, kissing, or anything sexual that you do.

I think PlayHerMan said it best, women don't like anything definite. So "slow" could mean 1001 dates before having sex.
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,421
Reaction score
1,127
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
When a woman pulls this on me, I drop her. Or I backburner her, as that's what's happening.

AFAIC, take it slow is a manipulative strategy (friendzone rejection). Walking away and going ghost and dumping her first are all great weapons that men have here. I just make it clear I'm no chump.
 

CrimsonPanther

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
386
Reaction score
36
i'll tell you a short story about a similar experience that went better than i expected :)

8 years ago i have met a girl. a shy one :) she was a virgin then. we talked a little than set a date. on the first date we went on the BF GF road, but she wanted to take it slow. i was the most patient guy in the world, saying to her i will of course be a man and escalate, but she ALWAYS has the option to say "no" and i will stop at that moment. she liked it. after 2 months of LTR i finally boned her. she was in love by then (she is even now). she was amazed of how patient and understanding i was. what she didn't know was that i was spinning plates like crazy, and so it was easy to take it slow. with her. :D
every time i went "patient" with her, after she went home, i boned a plate. they both won. the GF was happy because i was so patient, and the plate was satisfied fully, because i was horny as heck from all that "patience" building up beforehand.

so yes, when a girl asks you to go slow, usually what she really says is that she wants to trust you more. feed her the trust building game and make some plates happy. a win-win situation for all.
 
Joined
Dec 10, 2013
Messages
143
Reaction score
16
If she says she wants to "take it slow", don't hang around. Jet right away unless you want to become her texting buddy or emotional tissue. A hug is probably as good as it is gonna get. However, if you think you have the time and money to spend waiting for her then more grease to your elbow. Just be prepared to wait.

I've had girls say this to me and I just stop talking to them and move on to the next girl. As they get older, they become more desperate and drop the "taking it slow" routine.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2004
Messages
4,417
Reaction score
288
Location
UK
A lot of women like to take it slowly, just as many guys do. Sometimes you just want your own space and don't want to jump straight into a relationship, with all its pressures and demands.

The problem I find when a woman wants to take it slow is that I revert to being too much of a nice guy and find it feels too much like a friendship unless there's flirting and passion involved. Personally, I seduce women best when I can embrace my sexuality and pull them into my world of sexual excitement and adventure. But when a woman is wanting to take it slow, that's a side of myself I can't show her effectively and I'll often end up in the friend zone.

Best to keep your options open in the meantime and give her very little of your time.
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,041
Reaction score
499
I had a girl try to pace my relationship with her pretty recently. The whole thing kinda pissed me off. I just think of the "Brad Pitt" thing, if I was him she would be under my desk right now having loads for lunch. A girl making a guy wait sets certain precedents that are not healthy for the relationship. Basically, if she is not super excited to receive the spear she needs to LJBF your arse and move on.

Waiting means you are waiting for something you want or don't have.
Waiting means she doesn't really want what you have. (not enough)
Waiting means you have no better options but to sit around and wait.
Waiting means she holds some kind of prize.
Waiting means she has considered something and decided not to do it.

All this while you are playing the gentleman, paying for stuff and opening doors, taking time away from a woman that is worth your time that really likes you.

If a girl makes you wait then make her wait and pick things up with a more appreciative plate.

SEX IS NOT A PRIZE DARNIT!!!!!!!!!
 
Top