When A Woman Says This, What Does She Mean?

[RockaRolla25]

I have heard many women say, "Any guy can be a player, but it takes a real man to hold a relationship." I see this quote popping up all over women's facebook pages and I've seen them say it in real life too.

Is this womenspeak for, "Why do I always go for players?"

Or does it mean something else?

Maybe women think it's so easy for a guy to hit on tons of women but they know most men don't have the balls to actually do it, even though it is simple?

What about from a guy's point of view?

You can look at it 2 ways:

If you're a guy who prefers relationships, you are going to say, "Being a player is stupid. I'd rather have love with a woman."

But, if you're a guy who is a player, you are going to say, "Being with 1 woman is stupid. There's no excitement. I like the excitement of a new woman all the time. Being with one woman means you are settling."

What do you guys think it means (from both the perspective of a woman and a guy?)

 

[Iceberg]

First of all, here's my advice on translating womanspeak - DON'T. Observe their actions and don't listen to a damn word they say. You'll be chasing your tail for a lifetime trying to decipher what these girls are saying...

From the perspective of a woman, it's one of the MANY stupid quotes they spew on their Facebook pages that has no basis on how they operate in the real world.

Besides, any guy CAN'T be a player. And the few who can, are banging the girls who post dumb crap like this on Facebook.


Think about it - some stupid chick tosses out some quote on Facebook and you're trying to apply some deep meaning to it. There's no meaning. In fact, this girl is a total cliche for even bothering to type that sh*t. An empty-headed bimbo. "A real man holds a relationship." What a bunch of crap. While she's being all wise and monk-like, ask her what does a "real woman" do...

 

[ArcBound]

It's just an insult and shaming tactic rolled into a nice sh!t test which a lot of men will click "like". Iceberg is completely right. And tell me, since when does a woman, especially a woman on Facebook decide on what the definition of a real man is? Answer is she doesn't. You do.

 

[RockaRolla25]

I think the reason is that any man CAN be a player. All you have to do is hit on chicks and you're bound to get a bunch who say yes. But, most men do not hit on a bunch of women because they are too scared.

So when they say, "any man can be a player," what they are really saying is "anybody can ask out tons of women."

 

[OnTheWayUp]

Is this womenspeak for, "Why do I always go for players?"

Yes, I think this is one thing you can take from this statement. I'd go further and say that this is a shaming mechanism used to try and prevent men from living the sort of lifestyle that this site advocates. Taken literally, the statement is very easily proved false: this site wouldn't exist if it were that easy for "any guy" to be a player. It's a way of shaming you into conforming with social expectations and looking for relationships rather than sex.

Of course, like most things women say, you should pay attention to what a woman does rather than what she says. If she's in her 20s or younger, she may well believe in her conscious mind that she is attracted to "nice guys" who pressure her into a relationship, but the chances are higher that she's actually attracted to masculine men who are interested in enjoying casual sex and don't care so much about "where the relationship is going."

If you're a guy who prefers relationships, you are going to say, "Being a player is stupid. I'd rather have love with a woman."

But, if you're a guy who is a player, you are going to say, "Being with 1 woman is stupid. There's no excitement. I like the excitement of a new woman all the time. Being with one woman means you are settling."

I don't see how this distinction is particularly important if you want to understand what this girl means in her statement. A guy who prefers relationships might be more inclined to take her statement at first value- and thereby misinterpret what she actually means. This doesn't change the meaning of what she says in any way.

 

[Iceberg]

I think the reason is that any man CAN be a player. All you have to do is hit on chicks and you're bound to get a bunch who say yes. But, most men do not hit on a bunch of women because they are too scared.

So when they say, "any man can be a player," what they are really saying is "anybody can ask out tons of women."

Ehhhhhh who cares?

I understand you started the thread and all, so this is your thing. But really, why do you care? Anybody can ask out tons of women....sure, okay cool. Now what? Where does this take us?

My definition of a "real man" = a man with ambition and an undeniable urge to follow his dreams and accomplish greatness within his own life

A woman's definition of a "real man" = someone who stays in a relationship

So while you're deciphering the girl's hidden meaning of this, here's what it boils down to: "A real man does what I want him to do. He doesn't talk to other women, he stays with me as I gain weight, or lose sexual interest. He places his woman first in his life."

This is what girls tell themselves. And then when they find a guy like this, they realize how boring he is, and they chase the ambitious guy who has no time or need for them.

So like I said, there's no point in trying to translate what a woman says. Because what they say is a direct contrast to what they do.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Well, anyone can snag a one night stand if they wanted to but you need substance to keep a relationship going. Same with friendships, anyone can make friends with a stranger but again it takes substance to develop a lasting friendship.

 

[Robert28]

Well, anyone can snag a one night stand if they wanted to but you need substance to keep a relationship going. Same with friendships, anyone can make friends with a stranger but again it takes substance to develop a lasting friendship.

maybe for women, but for men a one night stand is hard to come by....especially these days. relationships are even harder to come by with all the flakiness and cheating going on.

 

[OC Speedball]

Well, anyone can snag a one night stand if they wanted to but you need substance to keep a relationship going. Same with friendships, anyone can make friends with a stranger but again it takes substance to develop a lasting friendship.

It doesn't take anything special to have a relationship. You just have to be compatible with her. Look around you. There are boring guys in relationships, introverts, fat guys, etc.

I have two friends that are some of the most boring guys you will ever meet. Yet they are both in their third year of a long term relationship.

And guess what? The girls found THEM. They are complete AFCs, so once they get in a relationship they can't let her go because they are worried that they will never find another girl.

 

[RockaRolla25]

It doesn't take anything special to have a relationship. You just have to be compatible with her. Look around you. There are boring guys in relationships, introverts, fat guys, etc.

I have two friends that are some of the most boring guys you will ever meet. Yet they are both in their third year of a long term relationship.

And guess what? The girls found THEM. They are complete AFCs, so once they get in a relationship they can't let her go because they are worried that they will never find another girl.

That's another great point.

How does a woman know the difference between a man being a true AFC and is only with her out of fear he can't find anyone else VS. a man who is not an AFC and truly loves her?

 

[vatoloco]

I have heard many women say, "Any guy can be a player, but it takes a real man to hold a relationship."

Heh. Don't they teach this in Shaming 101?

Hahaha, seriously now, another fine example of attempted feminazi brainwashing via social networking.

I'd come back with "Any girl can be a slut, but it takes a real woman to make me a sandwich." and watch the lulz ensue!

 

[vatoloco]

A woman's definition of a "real man" = someone who stays in a relationship

So while you're deciphering the girl's hidden meaning of this, here's what it boils down to: "A real man does what I want him to do. He doesn't talk to other women, he stays with me as I gain weight, or lose sexual interest. He places his woman first in his life."

This is what girls tell themselves. And then when they find a guy like this, they realize how boring he is, and they chase the ambitious guy who has no time or need for them.

So like I said, there's no point in trying to translate what a woman says. Because what they say is a direct contrast to what they do.

QFT

I'd +1 if I could!

 

[In2theGame]

Heh. Don't they teach this in Shaming 101?

Hahaha, seriously now, another fine example of attempted feminazi brainwashing via social networking.

I'd come back with "Any girl can be a slut, but it takes a real woman to make me a sandwich." and watch the lulz ensue!

lmao

 

[wait_out]

That's another great point.

How does a woman know the difference between a man being a true AFC and is only with her out of fear he can't find anyone else VS. a man who is not an AFC and truly loves her?

When he breaks up with her after she starts misbehaving. Girls tend to regret this a lot, you will see anecdotal examples in place like Cosmo or advice columns.

If girls could know this, they wouldn't bother to test limits.... but of course they are only people, and many people are curious or worse, manipulative. This is why you need to address bad behavior in relationships right away. Dating 101 my friend... you will pick it up as you go along.

and that original quote indicates she's oblivious to the fact smart guys will judge her for it

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

That's another great point.

How does a woman know the difference between a man being a true AFC and is only with her out of fear he can't find anyone else VS. a man who is not an AFC and truly loves her?

How does a woman know the difference?

The true AFC acts like a true AFC, and the guy who loves her acts like a man. Loving a woman doesn't force you to act like an AFC. There is still a big difference between an AFC and a real man who happens to have a girlfriend.

 

[ArcBound]

That's another great point.

How does a woman know the difference between a man being a true AFC and is only with her out of fear he can't find anyone else VS. a man who is not an AFC and truly loves her?

It depends heavily on the situation.

First off most men claim to "truly love a girl" and maybe they even do in their minds, claim to love the girl BEFORE THEY EVEN GO OUT WITH THE GIRL.

Now I want to ask, how the fvck can you be in love with girl, if you haven't kissed her, seen her body, fvcked her, gone out on a lot of dates with her, see how she acts behind closed doors, how she treats other people, what her skills are, her aspirations, her thoughts on important matters and etc....

The answer is you can't be in love with her. These guys are in love with the image of her. These guys are the emotional *****s to the physical *****s that some women are. That's why the girl rejects the man that so called loves her before he even knows her. Because she knows she already has him around her finger before she even did 1 thing; she knows he's not a real man.

 

[Zodiac]

It depends heavily on the situation.

First off most men claim to "truly love a girl" and maybe they even do in their minds, claim to love the girl BEFORE THEY EVEN GO OUT WITH THE GIRL.

Now I want to ask, how the fvck can you be in love with girl, if you haven't kissed her, seen her body, fvcked her, gone out on a lot of dates with her, see how she acts behind closed doors, how she treats other people, what her skills are, her aspirations, her thoughts on important matters and etc....

The answer is you can't be in love with her. These guys are in love with the image of her. These guys are the emotional *****s to the physical *****s that some women are. That's why the girl rejects the man that so called loves her before he even knows her. Because she knows she already has him around her finger before she even did 1 thing; she knows he's not a real man.

Great advice man.

 

[bigneil]

"Any guy can be a player, but it takes a real man to hold a relationship."

What she means is "Any guy can have drunken, unprotected sex with (her), but it takes a real man to call or text (her) the next day".

 

[Mike32ct]

maybe for women, but for men a one night stand is hard to come by....especially these days. relationships are even harder to come by with all the flakiness and cheating going on.

Curiousgirl: I respect your posts and enjoy reading them, but for this one, I have to agree with Robert. One night stands are quite difficult for most guys to pull off, plus the competition is fierce.

 

[TheJazz]

Womanspeak or not, it rings true. From a man's perspective, the opposite rings true too. A lot of "women" (or should I say sluts) these days (your "HB9s" and "10s" with the fake DD cup tits) are perfect for one night stands and casual lays. Any ugly, uneducated Pickup Artists could lay them and forget them the next day. The way I see it, sex is easier than love. Love's a whole other thing. I risk sounding AFC, but it takes work. And when it's done right, love is the most beautiful thing on earth. I'd even go so far as to say that as much as any "player" denies it, it's what he's truly after. Casual sex and relationships based on lust only take you so far. I agree with the women on this. Any average looking guy (Mystery/Style) could lay the finest of sluts for just a night. Ask them to maintain a relationship with one and watch the failure unfold. Real men get the real women. Real men keep women worth keeping.