When a woman says “don’t touch me.”

[BadBoy89]

Last 2 dates I’ve been on; 36 year divorced women looks good, 29 year old girl looks really good, both of them have said the same thing during or before the date.

Took the 36 year old back to my place and in the elevator she said “I can’t touch her”. 29 year old said “we can go out next week but I’m not looking for you to touch me.”

Guessing the attraction isn’t there, but isn’t that a *little* harsh, or am I the sucker?

Thoughts?

 

[Willie Naylor]

Last 2 dates I’ve been on; 36 year divorced women looks good, 29 year old girl looks really good, both of them have said the same thing during or before the date.

Took the 36 year old back to my place and in the elevator she said “I can’t touch her”. 29 year old said “we can go out next week but I’m not looking for you to touch me.”

Guessing the attraction isn’t there, but isn’t that a *little* harsh, or am I the sucker?

Thoughts?

Move on.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Last 2 dates I’ve been on; 36 year divorced women looks good, 29 year old girl looks really good, both of them have said the same thing during or before the date.

Took the 36 year old back to my place and in the elevator she said “I can’t touch her”. 29 year old said “we can go out next week but I’m not looking for you to touch me.”

Guessing the attraction isn’t there, but isn’t that a *little* harsh, or am I the sucker?

Thoughts?

What prompted the comment? Were you trying to kino her aggressively?

 

[Willie Naylor]

What prompted the comment? Were you trying to kino her aggressively?

It doesn't matter. When a girl is at the 'don't touch me' stage with you, the fat lady's already sung.

 

[biggoal]

Last 2 dates I’ve been on; 36 year divorced women looks good, 29 year old girl looks really good, both of them have said the same thing during or before the date.

Took the 36 year old back to my place and in the elevator she said “I can’t touch her”. 29 year old said “we can go out next week but I’m not looking for you to touch me.”

Guessing the attraction isn’t there, but isn’t that a *little* harsh, or am I the sucker?

Thoughts?

Wow. Not even a hug? Even from OLD I've NEVER had anything like this. Never once did they say this. Every date started with a hug. Even after the date if it didn't go well. Did you come off as creepy or intimidating?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've never heard a woman tell me that...were you being overly aggressive with the kino??

 

[Bokanovsky]

It doesn't matter. When a girl is at the 'don't touch me' stage with you, the fat lady's already sung.

Relax. We are in the fact finding stage of this inquiry, so some context is needed. Let’s find out if he was trying to finger her on the elevator ride, shall we?

 

[devilkingx2]

Did the actions line up with the words? You can't just take a woman's word for it. (obviously don't risk an assault charge)

Make sure you're not being too aggressive or coming off as rapey or serial killer-y

Took the 36 year old back to my place and in the elevator she said “I can’t touch her”

My best guess would be that taking her back to your place on the first date triggered extremely heavy ASD and so she was trying damn hard to let you know she's not the kind of slvt who fvcks on the first date. (Obviously she went far overboard and is definitely gonna get ghosted)

29 year old said “we can go out next week but I’m not looking for you to touch me.”

This one sounds like she's just interested in using you. Imagine if you told a date that she can go out with you next week but you're not looking to spend a single dollar on her.

 

[Igetit!]

Last 2 dates I’ve been on; 36 year divorced women looks good, 29 year old girl looks really good, both of them have said the same thing during or before the date.

Took the 36 year old back to my place and in the elevator she said “I can’t touch her”. 29 year old said “we can go out next week but I’m not looking for you to touch me.”

Well......it might be helpful if you could give some context as to what the situation was LEADING UP TO the women making those comments.

Like,did you meet the women in real life first,or online?
What was the conversation like/about before they made the remarks....

Like the 36 year old: You said you took her back to your place,and on the elevator,she said you couldn't touch her. Ok,fine......but WHAT was she going over to your place for in the first place? What did you say to her to convince her to come over to your place to begin with?

Guessing the attraction isn’t there,

Possible.....but I'd say unlikely. If there wasn't any attraction from the 36 year old,then WHY would she agree to come over to your place,KNOWING you two would be alone together?

Same with the 29 year old: Why would she agree to a SECOND date if there was no type of interest or attraction to further explore from the first?

My guess....you had attraction/interested starting out,but somewhere along the way,something happened to cause it to dip...hence their "don't touch me" comments. That's why I ask what the conversation was LEADING UP TO the remarks.


Also curious as to how YOU REACTED when they said this. One last thing......


The 36 year old told you you couldn't touch her in the elevator on the way to your place... Well once you got to your apartment,what did you two ACTUALLY DO when you got there? Talk? Watch movies? Were you sitting on one end of a couch,with her sitting waaaay on the other end?


More details are needed.

 

[MissouriMark]

This is somewhat relatable and kinda falls into the dating mistakes thread, but I went out with a woman on a first date and didn't escalate anything like touching, kissing, blah blah blah, and when we had a texting conversation later on, she mentioned she was lying in bed "but to not get any ideas" like what the fk is THAT supposed to mean? Obviously I had been friendzoned after the first date and didn't realize it till that conversation and wasn't seen as a sexual option for her since I shouldn't be thinking sexual things about her according to her. Needless to say, I never went out with her again. So it wasn't "don't touch me" it was more like "don't fantasize about touching me"!!!! Borrrrring, next!!

 

[Willie Naylor]

This is somewhat relatable and kinda falls into the dating mistakes thread, but I went out with a woman on a first date and didn't escalate anything like touching, kissing, blah blah blah, and when we had a texting conversation later on, she mentioned she was lying in bed "but to not get any ideas" like what the fk is THAT supposed to mean? Obviously I had been friendzoned after the first date and didn't realize it till that conversation and wasn't seen as a sexual option for her since I shouldn't be thinking sexual things about her according to her. Needless to say, I never went out with her again. So it wasn't "don't touch me" it was more like "don't fantasize about touching me"!!!! Borrrrring, next!!

Dude, she was flirting with you when she said this....

A lot of times, guys Next themselves.

 

[MissouriMark]

Maybe, but on the date I just wasn't sensing a sexual vibe from her and I didn't give off any myself which is probably why she wrote me off as basically a "friend" which is basically a nice way of saying to get lost. That's been a while back and hopefully I've learned a little more since then, but still like to get other men's advice and input. You could be right though, it might've been a test to see how I reacted. Obviously I p(u)ssed out on that one taking her at her word. Oh well...

 

[derby1]

Not even a hug?

you hug women? how can you hug a woman and expect her to respect your penis.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

what i find weird is why they agree to go to his apartment if they are gonna say that. Either she doesnt want to give the aroma of being easy or shes just trying to make it thru the date so she can ghost him afterwards would be my guess. Not a lot of details to go on here

 

[MissouriMark]

Unless the woman is completely naive, a super tease, just plain stupid, or all of the above, if they're agreeing to go back to a guy's place early in the dating process, you would "think" that's an unspoken green light to allow things to escalate physically if they haven't already. It doesn't matter what she says, her actions speak louder than her words. Even if she says she doesn't want to get physical, she may just be verbally trying to convince herself that it's not her idea and that it "just happened" to make herself not feel like a sloot.

I've made the mistake of bringing a woman back to my place and not being able to do the deed cuz of whiskey deeck and the woman actually left peesed off cuz that was EXACTLY why she was there, and I didn't deliver and never saw her again. And that was like date 3 or 4, so not a one nighter, and was gonna be our first time getting our ashes hauled together.

 

[PRW63]

I've made the mistake of bringing a woman back to my place and not being able to do the deed cuz of whiskey deeck

I don't drink alcohol at all,...zero. So what I have to deal with is slobbering drunk women breathing booze breath in my face, ...passing out, ...or throwing up. Sorry, but I grew up in an alcoholic home, disgusted by it, not going to tolerate it. So I'm sober, she's sober (or needs to be close to it),...completely changes the landscape.

By your username, we might be in the same "patrol zone".

 

[Rocnavy]

Last 2 dates I’ve been on; 36 year divorced women looks good, 29 year old girl looks really good, both of them have said the same thing during or before the date.

Took the 36 year old back to my place and in the elevator she said “I can’t touch her”. 29 year old said “we can go out next week but I’m not looking for you to touch me.”

Guessing the attraction isn’t there, but isn’t that a *little* harsh, or am I the sucker?

Thoughts?

If a woman tell you dont touch her thats an indication that her desire for you is not there so move on.

 

[rjc149]

You gave absolutely no context so it's impossible to diagnose. What led up to this? What was the tone/context?

I'll assume if one chick agreed to go back to your place after a date, you had a green light...?

Her: You can't touch me.
You: What makes you think I want to touch you? (with a playful smirk)

Always playful, unfazed, cavalier. Other than that, I can't offer any more insight. I just have no idea what happened.

 

[corrector]

Expect a false rape charge from her. If you touch her again she might say you sexually assaulted her since she did not give any consent and told you that. Is she worth going to jail or ruining your reputation? No? Then move on.

 

[Rocnavy]

You gave absolutely no context so it's impossible to diagnose. What led up to this? What was the tone/context?

I'll assume if one chick agreed to go back to your place after a date, you had a green light...?

Her: You can't touch me.
You: What makes you think I want to touch you? (with a playful smirk)

Always playful, unfazed, cavalier. Other than that, I can't offer any more insight. I just have no idea what happened.

A lot of times they would say that cause they want the total opposite.