When a Woman Keeps Texting You But Won't Tell You When She's Free for a Date?

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

Last week a woman messaged me on an online dating site and said my description of what I was looking for was an exact description of her and asked me a whole bunch more questions. I answered a few, she messaged back, I didn't log on the next day, she messaged me again saying she hoped I had a good weekend, I responded again late that evening, and she responded again showing strong interest.

My third message I told her I enjoyed talking with her, gave her my number, and told her to call me and let me know what evenings she's free. She texted me the next morning, but ignored my question about when she was free. I gave her a short one line response that evening. She texted me again the next morning, I responded that night asking her what days she's free this weekend, next afternoon she replied but again ignored mentioning when she was free.

I haven't responded back today at all, I was busy at work and just finished a date with another woman anyway. What should be my next move at this point? Ignore her? Wait till she texts again and tell her I don't have time to text but if she wants to go out we can schedule an evening? Wait a week, get her on the phone, ask her then? Should I not ask her out again and if she's decides she's done jerking me around she'll tell me when she's free?

I haven't run across this scenario so I'm undecided on what I should do. Normally they either go out with me or stop contacting me, but doing neither is... odd? I guess she's trying to keep me as a backup? What would you guys do?

 

[Poon King]

Most women who use online dating sites are garbage to begin with. Either batsh!t crazy, absurdly picky, socially awkward, or a fat walrus.

When you go on dating sites you are basically a bottom feeder. Eating all the leftover sh!t that falls to the bottom like a crab or lobster.

Now that you have some context... my advice would be to text a date and location to meet. If she does not agree.. NEXT. Keep it simple with women. Never over-analyze.

I have come to realize a lot of men LACK the skill of the "high pressure sale". Its about creating a feeling of urgency.. which most men simply don't do. SO.. the woman knows she can jerk you around and you will come back for more.

With me... women KNOW that if they make things too difficult for me I will lose interest. But I don't tell them this directly. It is just an energy I give off when I deal with them which is a mix of indifference and moderate sexual attraction. Kind of like: "I want to f*ck you.. but not that badly".

 

[GS750]

She's either stringing you along or putting off meeting you because she's not comfortable yet. Either way you're being jerked around. Women on these sites can truly be a pain in the a$$. They click around and contact guys, collect emails, look for any dumb reason to reject you, and basically operate with entitlement and a huge abundance mindset. I've had some success with OLD...but it was with minimal effort on my part. I had good pics up and had a well written profile...but I completely stopped contacting women. I mean stopped sending out emails altogether. The number of women I talked to went down obviously. But the one's who contacted me first were the one's I got the farthest with. A short list of things I had happen to me with OLD:

-One girl messaged me first. I replied. She blocked me out of the blue. Had this happen more than once actually and it wasn't like I was rude or pushy or whatever. They just blocked me.
-Date flakes. A day or so before a date/meetup they text and say they can't make it. I never made any effort to contact them again if the excuse was lame or no counter offer
-A girl I dated for a month or so, she claimed to be "abused" by her ex. She also claimed that she was forbidden to bring him into her parents home because her dad hated him. I walked into a bar one night and there she was, hugged up with the ex. Blocked that number never spoke to her again obviously.
-One girl about 2 years ago. We had a nice convo and were trying trying to work out a time to meet. Turns out her ex had just been released from jail. He came and took her car, which was in his name too. Once I heard "my ex just got released from jail" I erased her number and ignored her texts from then on. Got no interest in ex just got out of jail drama. No thanks.
-Countless times I have had a convo going on 3-4 emails in and they just stop replying. This is the most common
-One girl not too long ago, we exchanged numbers but she texted first. I called her to set something up, left a voicemail and she never returned my call. Never contacted her again.
-Met up with one girl who listed on her profile as never married/no kids. Well turns out she had a 2 year old and had been divorced twice. A quick search of the county online records confirmed this. She was 28. Blocked the number for lying to me.
-Dated one girl I met online for several months...I swear the chick was either BPD or bipolar...or both. After talking to some members here, I'm convinced she was a full blown cat sh*t crazy BPD. I have never seen anything like it before. Just delusional, crazy making, unstable, and narcissistic. A total head case. She hid it well in the beginning though. She also came from a crazy family which should have been my cue to move on but double D's make me lose my rational mind sometimes. She had also been engaged in the recent past which she lied to me about at first. Then told me she pawned the ring and spent the money on clothes. Lesson learned.

It's a numbers game. If you like looking for needles in haystacks then by all means keep up with the online dating. I did have some success and met some alright girls. But the overall experience was not good. Your mileage may vary. But it seems like these chicks online are getting worse and worse. This social media craziness is going to ruin us.

 

[Boxer00]

My third message I told her I enjoyed talking with her, gave her my number, and told her to call me and let me know what evenings she's free.

Don't leave your number for her to call you. Always get her number for you to call her. Leaving your number for her puts her in a position of power over you.

She texted me the next morning, but ignored my question about when she was free. I gave her a short one line response that evening. She texted me again the next morning, I responded that night asking her what days she's free this weekend, next afternoon she replied but again ignored mentioning when she was free.

Some online girls want to get to know you first before they go out with you.

Sounds like you are letting her decide everything for you. When to call, when to have the date. Take the lead. Why don't you call her up and tell her let's go out on this day at this time? If she resists, she really isn't interested.

 

[Alexandar]

Most women who use online dating sites are garbage to begin with. Either batsh!t crazy, absurdly picky, socially awkward, or a fat walrus.

When you go on dating sites you are basically a bottom feeder. Eating all the leftover sh!t that falls to the bottom like a crab or lobster.

Now that you have some context... my advice would be to text a date and location to meet. If she does not agree.. NEXT. Keep it simple with women. Never over-analyze.

I have come to realize a lot of men LACK the skill of the "high pressure sale". Its about creating a feeling of urgency.. which most men simply don't do. SO.. the woman knows she can jerk you around and you will come back for more.

With me... women KNOW that if they make things too difficult for me I will lose interest. But I don't tell them this directly. It is just an energy I give off when I deal with them which is a mix of indifference and moderate sexual attraction. Kind of like: "I want to f*ck you.. but not that badly".

this is very sick. well said

 

[Trump]

What should be my next move at this point? Ignore her? Wait till she texts again and tell her I don't have time to text but if she wants to go out we can schedule an evening?

You are going to TEXT her to tell her you don't have time to TEXT? That's classic bro. :crackup:

Wait a week, get her on the phone, ask her then? Should I not ask her out again and if she's decides she's done jerking me around she'll tell me when she's free?

I haven't run across this scenario so I'm undecided on what I should do. Normally they either go out with me or stop contacting me, but doing neither is... odd? I guess she's trying to keep me as a backup? What would you guys do?

Come on bro, she's laughing at you. She's showing your text to her boyfriend, "how many times can I deflect before this guy gets the message?"

You ask once on text, maybe twice. After that, move on.

 

[sph21]

Don't leave your number for her to call you. Always get her number for you to call her. Leaving your number for her puts her in a position of power over you.

Some online girls want to get to know you first before they go out with you.

Sounds like you are letting her decide everything for you. When to call, when to have the date. Take the lead. Why don't you call her up and tell her let's go out on this day at this time? If she resists, she really isn't interested.

Well written

 

[Drummer93]

Don't leave your number for her to call you. Always get her number for you to call her. Leaving your number for her puts her in a position of power over you.





Some online girls want to get to know you first before they go out with you.

Sounds like you are letting her decide everything for you. When to call, when to have the date. Take the lead. Why don't you call her up and tell her let's go out on this day at this time? If she resists, she really isn't interested.

I absolutely agree with this ^^

It sounds like this girl is a toe dipper. What's a toe dipper? Its a person who is afraid of jumping in the pool so instead they dip their toes in the water to feel temperature and debate if they should jump in or not. In this case, she is afraid of taking a chance to meet with you because of her insecurities. You are going to find that most women on dating sites are very insecure, they either just got out of a relationship or looking to evaluate which guy they "should" be with.

Like Boxer said, get her number, wait a couple days then call her up. Tell her that you have something going on until __:__ and after would like to meet up with her at ____ for a drink at __:__. Make sure you have this all planned out then get off the phone. If she says she can't do it on that day then ask her when is she free and that you have your schedule in front of you. If she tells you multiple days then she is super interested in seeing you, if she suggest one day then go "hmm.. I could fit you in" (Sarcasm), then suggest the time and place.

Since she is insecure, she is probably afraid that shes not going to like you or feel trapped hanging out with you so you should mention you can't hang out too long cause you have to get up early in the morning. If she asks how long can you say, say about an hour or so. That's it. Women love men who are good at time management.

If she doesn't commit then make sure you say to her "____ I am a really busy guy and I like to plan accordingly. Maybe we should get together another time". Pause and if she says "okay" then don't talk to her for a whole week. Look if shes not ready to put her big girl pants on then shes not type of girl that is ready for you.

 

[pyros]

If you've asked her when she is free two times already...I would stop texting her. Or if you do this and she keeps texting you, your final strike would be something like:
you: "hey you know what we could do?"
her: "what?"
you: "we coudl meet for a drink instead of keep texting, crazy right?"

And see if she agrees now. If she doesnt, erase her forever... unless she asks you out of course.

 

[Lozboss]

Next her and find someone else.

/thread

 

[SamTheHobit]

Most women who use online dating sites are garbage to begin with. Either batsh!t crazy, absurdly picky, socially awkward, or a fat walrus.

When you go on dating sites you are basically a bottom feeder. Eating all the leftover sh!t that falls to the bottom like a crab or lobster.

Now that you have some context... my advice would be to text a date and location to meet. If she does not agree.. NEXT. Keep it simple with women. Never over-analyze.

I have come to realize a lot of men LACK the skill of the "high pressure sale". Its about creating a feeling of urgency.. which most men simply don't do. SO.. the woman knows she can jerk you around and you will come back for more.

With me... women KNOW that if they make things too difficult for me I will lose interest. But I don't tell them this directly. It is just an energy I give off when I deal with them which is a mix of indifference and moderate sexual attraction. Kind of like: "I want to f*ck you.. but not that badly".

Good post.

 

[marmel75]

Your next Text:

"I'm not going to ask again. Do you want to come have a drink with me? Yes or No."

If Yes, "What nights are you free to do that?"

If No "Take Care."

Stop the analysis and get to the bottom line.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Two big mistakes you made: one, sending her your number, and two, trying to get her to talk to you on the phone BEFORE setting up a date.

To point number one: your approach was weak. IF you're going to go the number route, you ask her for HER number. You telling her to call you makes you appear beta, like you're scared of contacting her, which automatically lowers interest level.

To point number two: if you're doing online dating, you have a higher probability of success in getting the date IF you ask her out on the site. Instead of sending the number, you should have simply said, "hey, this convo seems to be going well - let's do this in person at a coffee shop, are you free on x day at time A or time B?" It would have been right there, in plain type, for her to see, and you would have known based off her response to this DIRECT question if she wanted to go out. Once she said yes... well, I still wouldn't have gotten the number, but you could have asked for it with the purpose of having it to call her should you get lost en route to the date place.

Anyway... she can read, so if you're texting her about a date and she's not responding to it, the OBVIOUS reasoning is because she doesn't want to go out with you. So stop trying. If she wants to go out, she'll let you know.

 

[Amilz]

She's either stringing you along or putting off meeting you because she's not comfortable yet. Either way you're being jerked around. Women on these sites can truly be a pain in the a$$. They click around and contact guys, collect emails, look for any dumb reason to reject you, and basically operate with entitlement and a huge abundance mindset. I've had some success with OLD...but it was with minimal effort on my part. I had good pics up and had a well written profile...but I completely stopped contacting women. I mean stopped sending out emails altogether. The number of women I talked to went down obviously. But the one's who contacted me first were the one's I got the farthest with. A short list of things I had happen to me with OLD:

-One girl messaged me first. I replied. She blocked me out of the blue. Had this happen more than once actually and it wasn't like I was rude or pushy or whatever. They just blocked me.
-Date flakes. A day or so before a date/meetup they text and say they can't make it. I never made any effort to contact them again if the excuse was lame or no counter offer
-A girl I dated for a month or so, she claimed to be "abused" by her ex. She also claimed that she was forbidden to bring him into her parents home because her dad hated him. I walked into a bar one night and there she was, hugged up with the ex. Blocked that number never spoke to her again obviously.
-One girl about 2 years ago. We had a nice convo and were trying trying to work out a time to meet. Turns out her ex had just been released from jail. He came and took her car, which was in his name too. Once I heard "my ex just got released from jail" I erased her number and ignored her texts from then on. Got no interest in ex just got out of jail drama. No thanks.
-Countless times I have had a convo going on 3-4 emails in and they just stop replying. This is the most common
-One girl not too long ago, we exchanged numbers but she texted first. I called her to set something up, left a voicemail and she never returned my call. Never contacted her again.
-Met up with one girl who listed on her profile as never married/no kids. Well turns out she had a 2 year old and had been divorced twice. A quick search of the county online records confirmed this. She was 28. Blocked the number for lying to me.
-Dated one girl I met online for several months...I swear the chick was either BPD or bipolar...or both. After talking to some members here, I'm convinced she was a full blown cat sh*t crazy BPD. I have never seen anything like it before. Just delusional, crazy making, unstable, and narcissistic. A total head case. She hid it well in the beginning though. She also came from a crazy family which should have been my cue to move on but double D's make me lose my rational mind sometimes. She had also been engaged in the recent past which she lied to me about at first. Then told me she pawned the ring and spent the money on clothes. Lesson learned.

It's a numbers game. If you like looking for needles in haystacks then by all means keep up with the online dating. I did have some success and met some alright girls. But the overall experience was not good. Your mileage may vary. But it seems like these chicks online are getting worse and worse. This social media craziness is going to ruin us.

Did some of these women you started ignoring contact you later on? I've had that happen. I'll quit talking to them and one for example responded to a question I sent weeks ago even though I ignored her previous message.

Having long message exchanges with women and then they just stop has happened to me a lot. They usually start respond again a week or 2 later but I ignore them. One did that and gave me her number and I agreed to meet her. The night before I canceled.

The blatant realization needs to hit guys that finding a good catch online is not reasonable. Maybe when online dating wasn't so popular but now I see the same profiles over and over again. A lot of braggarts, entitled mindsets, etc. I got ignored by a woman because I work for the USPS yet her body was all kinds of sloppy. How is a woman going to be a golddigger and she is obese? I'm in good shape too especially in comparison to the majority of women online. That shows you how important money is to these people.

 

[GS750]

I had one girl stop talking to me and then reach out about two weeks later claiming that she missed my email. Then after I replied she just went right back to silence. Never heard from her again. Blackdragon has a new post over at his blog that explains this. Online dating reached it's peak, and now it's in it's decline. Too many people. Too many scammers. Too many time wasters, etc. I think he said the sweet spot was 2002-2005. Now it's just a waste of time.

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/08/20/there-is-no-hookup-culture/

 

[Boxer00]

Don't be indecisive with the women you try to date. They might have initial interest, but when you give them the power to make the decisions for you they will quickly lose interest.

Don't put the ball in her court to call you or have her decide what day/time you want her to make the date. You're the man, you should call her setting up the date yourself. You also asked her too many times when she's free. Women will do anything to go out with a guy they really want to hang out with.

Always get several numbers from women if you are using online dating in case youi get flakes or unsure women.

I absolutely agree with this ^^

Yes and good advice as well.

Well written

Thanks.

I need to add to this that women online find more then 80% of men are ugly or below average.

Most of the women online are ugly as well. Hot looking people don't need to use online dating.

Online dating is a huge waste of time and in my age bracket 35 45 they almost all have kids full time and are head cases. How much time energy and so on i have i wasted chatting with them hoes for 2 3 weeks at a time and after that asking them out and getting turned down well i can't i got my kids.

Most women in your age bracket already have kids regardless. Very few women 35-45 don't have kids. Most women you date at that age will have kids and that's what you will have to deal with unless you date younger women who aren't single mothers.

I also been frustrated online seeing that the women i was chatting with is online but not replying to me and all.

She wasn't interested.

Men have become faggot slaves to pvssy, they go online with there beta mindset only chatting with one women while the women online chat with so many different men at the same time.

LOL @ chatting with one women online. Most guys send out a sh1tload of emails trying to chat with as many women as possible who reply to their messages. I don't see that having anything to do with being a "faggot slave" when the goal is to get laid. Of course women will chat more when they have lots of messages to read.

 

[Alexandar]

I stop seeing her because she had so much attention from men that her head was getting swollen, she was acting like a 50y old teenager.

is that right yannick? is that why you stop seeing her?

I think we all know you are full of sh it. you would never stop seeing that kind of a woman who fvcks you like that for such a reason.

she stopped seeing you. didnt she?

 

[Stugots26]

To the OP, remember - her excuses are her attempt to manipulate you.

The number one difference between alphas and betas vis a vis women is the willingness to tolerate a woman's excuses. Alphas do not tolerate excuses. We're just not interested, and we don't buy them.

 

[guru1000]

Remember the following:

You will achieve more by texting her to go fvck herself in the azz with two diks than you would by "achieving" the date.

Think about why for a moment.

 

[om1xr]

You are her b!tch