when a plate starts to game you

[darkstarrr]

plate #3: 28 yr old white chic with the kid

this is just a progress report specific to one of my fb plates.

i don't want anything more from her as i have already mentioned to you guys before. i mean, she has a kid and i am at the point in my life where i would just not allow myself to become involed in a ltr with a girl with a kid who i know its just not going to go anywhere long term.

i've made it clear to her i am not ready for a relationship etc. even discussed my last one with her when she told me about her divorce last year. the thing is this plate is pulling out all the stops on me.

-agreeing with my decision that its not going anywhere
-then asking what we are going to do next time we hang out
-i say we can grab some food
-she says we should keep it casual and stay away from the whole dinner thing until we get there
-i say how does grabbing food mean i was saying to get dinner
-she says she was joking
-and that we can casually hang out at my place and we can casually end up in my bedroom
-then she starts asking me what i tell people about her (which implies she tells people about me)

i can tell she is very keen and skilled. agreeing with whatever i say when i reject her then turning it around into C&F. :nervous:

maybe she is sensing that i am vulnerable in some way that i am unaware of. what if she continues to game me and the sex turns into feelings. whatever i do i am not going to let her bring me anywhere near her kid. and i can't let her isolate me from my other plates. i must be prepared to answer the questions which are destined to follow!

-am i seeing anyone else
-what do i think about her
-what does she mean to me

i'm going to take some of my energy away from this plate and focus it into the other plates and new plates to make sure don't fall for her love tactics.

:rock:

 

[Craig Reeves]

Hm..

It seems to me from over here that you are afraid you're actually going to start liking this woman. You don't want to date her because she has a kid? Keep in mind how old you are -- women around your age (who are single) are very likely to have children. That's just something in life you're going to have to deal with. You shouldn't try to force yourself to stay away from a girl just because of something like that. You might be throwing out something good. Just be careful,.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DarkStarr,
You are playing this very well,just never give them an honest answer,always convey the impression that if they could only try harder,they just might have a chance....be aware tho,even tho you may well dance in the moonlight with old Nick,one day she will just drop you like crock of shyte,so have your options waiting for you.As to Craigs response,yes you could be right but that would be exceptional,in general women with kids are a No Go area....So many posts from DJ's who will affirm that the little brats just bugger it up.

 

[Mr. Me]

Boy, you make it sound like she's some Machiavellian siren under whose wiles you must exert yourself to not surrender to her power.

>> I say how does grabbing food mean I was saying to get dinner >>

It involves food and eating. When it involves food and eating, whether it's just quickly casually "grabbing a bite" or a three course sit down dinner in a posh restaurant, it constitutes a real date sort of thing to the female mind.

From what I read, looks like she's more interested in keeping this as a FWB sitch. She may be getting signals from you that you're the one that wants more.

>> then she starts asking me what I tell people about her (which implies she tells people about me) >>

Perhaps, but I get that she's asking because she's trying to ascertain if you see her as more then just a FWB, not because that's what she wants, but to see if that's where your head's really at.

 

[mrRuckus]

Keep in mind how old you are -- women around your age (who are single) are very likely to have children. QUOTE]

What are you talking about? There are tons of girls without kids at that age.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

-am i seeing anyone else

not right now. (now of course means this second, she can interpret it differently if she wants)

maybe, sometimes, I don't know, you?

is that important to you?

I'd rather not talk about other girls when i'm with you

I only want to think about you right now (kiss)

-what do i think about her

when I'm with you I feel really good

I enjoy being with you

I like the way your nose wiggles when you talk

I like you because you don't put pressure on me like other girls

I like you because you have enough self confidence to let things develop naturally

I like you because you are really indepenent

I like you because you are spontaneous and adventurous

I like you because (whatever quality you'd like her to live up to)

-what does she mean to me

repeat the above, worded a little bit differently, throw in alot of ambiguous words blah blah


girls trying to game you are great opportunities to increase your own skills, don't run away from it. Learn from it. Become better for the next plate, and the next, and the next.....

 

[jophil28]

-am i seeing anyone else
-what do i think about her
-what does she mean to me

i'm going to take some of my energy away from this plate and focus it into the other plates and new plates to make sure don't fall for her love tactics.

:rock:

Darkie, you are working way too hard on this woman.
Stop poring over her words. Women open their mouth and words just fall out.
They mean nothing important...

Here are some answers to the questions that you posted above.The objective is to always deflect a woman's questions to create more doubt and intrigue. That raises her interest in you because it triggers more tension and anxiety in her.
Answering her questions in the way that she wants. ..it pops the balloon.
Answer her in a playful, ****y way. IT never fails.

She, "Are you seeing anyone else.."
You, "Hmmm,yes i have some vacant space.. who do you have in mind? You got a hot friend for me ?" ( She slaps you - bullseye !)

She, " What do you think of me?" ( THis means -do you find me hot ?)
You, " You're cool. WE could be great together if you lost those green shoes."

She," What do I mean to you ? " (THis is a trap to reveal what your future thoughts are about a possible LTR) .)

You," I need an easier question." ( Make a sly grin )
You again," You are OK I guess..but we gotta talk about those shoes ( Another arm punch from her..)

 

[Mr. Me]

Answer her in a playful, ****y way. IT never fails.

She, "Are you seeing anyone else.."

First thing I thought of was:

"How can I?

You're blocking my view."

But this idea of the OP's that these questions are destined to follow... it's so dramatic. I can't wait for the next torrid, heart-pounding post.

 

[squirrels]

Dude, if I was ever talking to someone in real life and they referred to a woman as a "plate", I would be very tempted not to smack them upside their head.

 

[jophil28]

Dude, if I was ever talking to someone in real life and they referred to a woman as a "plate", I would be very tempted not to smack them upside their head.

I agree. Calling women "plates" is irritating... demeaning and unneccessary .
Where did this "spinning plates " phrase come from ? It gets on my nerves.

 

[Amazing]

It came from Rollo Tomassi, and I've called guys out on it before. It was used to demonstrate a point, spinning plates- you are busy, etc.. but now is just lame.

This is not a fucking buffet, gentlemen, let's step our game up.

 

[jophil28]

It came from Rollo Tomassi, and I've called guys out on it before. It was used to demonstrate a point, spinning plates- you are busy, etc.. but now is just lame.

This is not a fucking buffet, gentlemen, let's step our game up.

WE can hardly criticise women for some of their belittling male bashing phrases while we continue to call women "plates" . To do so puts us in the same class as women who refer to men as "handbags" ..

 

[decades]

when you start a thread about a "plate" she ceases to be a plate. she is something more.

 

[darkstarrr]

I'm still fairly new here, remember that guys. Read the old threads where you guys bash the idea of spinning plates into my head. Its working though - so thanks! And "plate" just sounds funny to me at ths point. A plate is just a plate. If one falls you are too focussed on keeping the others up to worry so much about the one that fell. Has nothing to do with a buffet or food.

this is just a progress report specific to one of my fb plates.

Now back to the topic at hand. I'm at work but will post an update/edit with this one later.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It would appear that some of the brethren need to do a little review here. Go back and read this thread again:

Plate Theory

I'm sorry if you find the word "plate" insensitive. Perhaps we ought to call it Options Theory now to make you feel better?

What Plate Theory is not

My critics will often take a binary stance in their arguments with this idea saying that "they could never be with more than one woman at a time out of respect for her" or "so I should just lie to her and see other girls on the side?" To which I'd argue that these are feminized social conventions that attempt to thwart a man's options in order to establish women as the prime selectors in intersexual relations. If it can be conditioned into a boy/man to 'feel bad' about seeing more than one woman at a time, it only better serves the female-as-chooser dynamic. To be sure, women are naturally the filters for their own intimacies, but it is essentially men who do the sexual selection. These convention's latent purpose are designed to put selection of intimacy on a conditional basis that favors women, and as long as men will internalize this, women will have a preconstructed social high-ground.

 

[Amazing]

Why do you have to call them anything but women and girls. That is what I am asking

When an `option` starts gaming you sounds just as stupid

 

[darkstarrr]

a plate implies it is someone who you have not qualified yet who is in your rotation of women. perhaps you aren't serious about her and just keeping her as a fb. perhaps you are keeping her as a plate so that when one of your other plates who you would like to get more serious with starts to shoot red flags you won't get your under wear caught up in a bundle because you have other plates to fall back on. those are just examples.

 

[Amazing]

a think for yourself and be a normal real guy implies it is someone who you have not qualified yet who is in your rotation of women. perhaps you aren't serious about her and just keeping her as a fb. perhaps you are keeping her as a think for yourself and be a normal real guy so that when one of your other think for yourself and be a normal real guy s who you would like to get more serious with starts to shoot red flags you won't get your under wear caught up in a bundle because you have other think for yourself and be a normal real guy s to fall back on. those are just examples.

What was that?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

"Plate" is for lack of a better term. I don't think it's too difficult to understand. It's not intended to be cruel, just referential.

The more pertinent question is why does it bother you?

 

[Amazing]

I think there is some disconnect between the sexes here, and this is making it worse.

It's like women calling guys wallets or something stupid, why not just bring it down on the real level? I think this is the majority of the problems for the guys on this board, they don't have normal every day experience with women so they have to look for that stuff here.. the problem is, this is a message board.