When a girl texts you day after a date

[teacha]

She’s on for the date. If going to a bar near your place, would you pick a girl up or have her meet you there? Is offering to pick a girl up on a second date loss of frame?

since it’s close to your place have her meet you there. No point whatsoever in going out of your way.

 

[lamath]

Nah no reason for that in my opinion and I would have actually elected for FRI not SAT (just me. I'm not a patient man).

Perhaps an extended delay if the chick never followed up or thanked him, etc. The ungrateful, flacky, ghosty ones? Yes.

Highly interested ones? No. They deserve a prompt follow up AND in my opinion they will require one.

Chick reached out to him. She explictly stated on date 1 that she wants a date 2. Then she followed up thanking OP for a great time, etc.

So I see no reason for ignore mode. That'll just piss off an interested woman (I've done this too many times. Sometimes because I just had more women than I knew what to do with and I swear they just KNEW that I was whoring around and the interest shut off like a switch).

In my opinion they know they're being fvucked with when guys wait TOO long in between dates. I can convey tension-uncertainty-doubt even AFTER I fvuck a chick on the third date, all within the span of a week (or sooner). Delays are never necessary.

This is all based on my experience. I just know in my gut when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

I agree with you on this
Need to calibrate to interest level.

Imo its very simple
Good behavior should be rewarded
She is direct with her intention and does not seems to be playing game.

Give her something for a reward, dont need to.set up second date right away, some difference and attention will do.

 

[teacha]

I agree with you on this
Need to calibrate to interest level.

Imo its very simple
Good behavior should be rewarded
She is direct with her intention and does not seems to be playing game.

Give her something for a reward, dont need to.set up second date right away, some difference and attention will do.

Agreeing to take her out for a second date is more than an enough “reward” imo.

In my humble opinion, the only women you are meant to reward are those who constantly exhibit high interest in you.

 

[andreihaha]

Reply to her message and tell her you had a good time as well and thats it. No texting back and forth.

For future reference, that's a perfect response.
But since she was interested enough to initiate for a second date, asking her out directly again was also good.
I don't undestand why some feel the need to play games when she's clearly interested. Just keep the good stuff going.

 

[derby1]

Unless she has high interest, this advice won’t work 99% of the time.

she does have high interest and he hasnt shaggged her, hence he arranges a 2nd date for in around 5-7 days and tells her to meet him

he can play captain blaze when hes ruined herr vag

 

[andreihaha]

she does have high interest and he hasnt shaggged her, hence he arranges a 2nd date for in around 5-7 days and tells her to meet him

he can play captain blaze when hes ruined herr vag

Lol don't go around ruining vages ))
Also why in 5-7 days and not whenever is convenient for you?
SoSuavers have so many rules

 

[teacha]

she does have high interest and he hasnt shaggged her, hence he arranges a 2nd date for in around 5-7 days and tells her to meet him

he can play captain blaze when hes ruined herr vag

Speaking from experience, a woman with high interest will:

1. blow up your phone asking to hang out.
2. blush when she sees you in person.
2b. act submissive around you.
3. wear revealing outfits on your dates.
4. try to close the deal on the first date.
5. shower you with sexual compliments.
6. pay for the date.
7. call or text after the date asking to see you again. Preferably somewhere private.
etc

basically, they act exactly like how desperate men act with beautiful women.

 

[derby1]

b

Also why in 5-7 days and not whenever is convenient for you?

because if its any earlier a man has to ask himself if he is chasing excellence and not women

 

[lamath]

b

because if its any earlier a man has to ask himself if he is chasing excellence and not women

Problem i have with a set number of days or w/e

If you wait on purpose for no reason, you are putting already too much effort/time thinking about it.

 

[BJP1991]

Awesome discussion and feedback going on. This girl seems to have high interest, so I took the chance and made the next date for this weekend. I’ll be picking her up, and we are going to places near both of our homes so the chance to go somewhere more private will be present the entire time.

I agree with some, in that if she is showing these signs of high interest, it would be a loss for myself not to just make another definite date. Allowing time to pass and being too “indifferent” with a high interest girl can turn them off. Then those are the ones that sting when they turn out to lose that interest you once saw.

On the other hand, waiting 5-7 days I think is a good rule of thumb “most” of the time. But higher than average interest-women are the ones we want, right? Why keep them at arms length if they want to see you/be with you/sleep with you, and you’d like those things to happen?

 

[BJP1991]

Problem i have with a set number of days or w/e

If you wait on purpose for no reason, you are putting already too much effort/time thinking about it.

I agree, but want to point something out and ask what you think.

Waiting on purpose/for no reason is putting too much tome and effort into it. However, in this day-in-age, we are literally connected to everyone (everyone in our contacts list) 24/7, 365. For me, I’m with my phone all day long, even when I’m busy doing work/hobbies/passions/volunteering/seeing friends, always.

What excuse would one actually have for waiting 4-7 days to contact a girl? Doing something so simple as sending a text is not something that cannot be done in literally 10 seconds, anytime of the day.

So people always say, wait 3-6 days or whatever numbers they throw out there, but in reality, I don’t think it’s fooling anyone. Nobody is so busy they cannot send a simple text message.

Now - I’m not saying we should just be sitting by our phones, pining away and always texting back ASAP or same day even or whatever. I’m just pointing out there is so much contradiction in what a good “standard” should be.

Is this where “doing what you want, and being confident in it” comes in? As in, it doesn’t really matter what you decide, as long as it’s true to yourself and what you want, without regard for how others will respond to it or judge you for it?

 

[derby1]

What excuse would one actually have for waiting 4-7 days to contact a girl?

sorry we dont mean dont reply to her we mean you dont drop everything and meet her within 24 hours like all the 100 beta whiteknights will

 

[lamath]

sorry we dont mean dont reply to her we mean you dont drop everything and meet her within 24 hours like all the 100 beta whiteknights will

+1

 

[BJP1991]

sorry we dont mean dont reply to her we mean you dont drop everything and meet her within 24 hours like all the 100 beta whiteknights will

Gotcha, yeah I figured that part

 

[synecdoche]

Don't validate her by saying you had a great time as well.

I would just text back => "Glad to hear you had a great time" + brief statement about something you guys talked about during the date.

Wait a couple of days and then hit her up the next date, don't act thirsty.

 

[Barrister]

Don't validate her by saying you had a great time as well.

I would just text back => "Glad to hear you had a great time" + brief statement about something you guys talked about during the date.

Wait a couple of days and then hit her up the next date, don't act thirsty.

I agree you don't want to go on and on about it being the greatest date of your life, but most women will like to hear you had a good time too. Just say "it was a fun" or "it was good times." Admitting you enjoyed yourself as well puts you at no disadvantage but lets her know you have interest moving forward. I think being too aloof can backfire if she is showing high interest after a date and you don't reciprocate.

 

[synecdoche]

I agree you don't want to go on and on about it being the greatest date of your life, but most women will like to hear you had a good time too. Just say "it was a fun" or "it was good times." Admitting you enjoyed yourself as well puts you at no disadvantage but lets her know you have interest moving forward. I think being too aloof can backfire if she is showing high interest after a date and you don't reciprocate.

I also agree with your advice, it's a thin line, women who show high interest might lose attraction fast because they don't feel validated however those are the women who fall in love very fast and get bored even faster. You want to keep them guessing. If you add some callback humor from the date it will keep her engaged without coming off as uninterested or cold.

 

[BURT MCQUEEN]

Exactly and the guys countering this idea have yet to discover true indifference. TRUE indifference

Specify and expand what you mean for "true indifference" , because if it is what i mean for indifference I mean that I don't give a shiet about a woman and the from her outcome and in good or bad situation i don't show any emotion to her (she gotta earn it) and I won't give he no validation doesn't matter if i'm right or wrong, a woman with me is always wrong. Example:

Her: I had a good time with you yesterday
Me: ok...(like i don't give a shiet)

or i was in the situation of OP, i would't even give a fvck about the message, if i ghost, she'll text me again and in a covert or overt way shel'll tell me that she wants to spent other time with me, in case i'm her priority.
And if i ask her out again, i'm gonna ask her the night before or the same day i wanna take her out, because all the obstacles/appointments with her friends or another guy/ tasks she's gonna have that night she's gonna call it off so that she can go out with me. And in case she really can't (because she gotta work at her job, the uncle that came from far away is in town so she's gonna have dinner with him and the family ecc.) she's gonna tell me in a clearly and overtly way, and she's gonna to reschedule it, because if it so i'm her first priority, bu she's got only one chance, otherwise NEXT

 

[Epic Days]

Assume sex and be prepared for sex. Treat her like there’s going to be sex.
All this other stuff is just yacking.

 

[BURT MCQUEEN]

I think this idea is confusing being an azzhole and indeference. By definition im saying whether she is high interest or low interest, our lives are fulfilling enough to just pass right through it.
For example my co worker punk kid just asked me how i ended up so ugly. LOL
He always fcks with me and i laugh at him because i know hes really telling me how good looking i am. Hes jealous and im a handsome mothr****er lol

Just an example. Solid frame. Not thinking man im really ugly the rest of the day? Lol
Its a knowing for us.
So in this context whether or not you see her again it doesn't matter.
What i mean by indifference is not that we don't care. We are not affected by deep depression and suicide because someone rejects us.

Ok got it you gave it a good objective definition of indifference, fortunately i'm already indifferent like you say alongside with being an azzhole. But I like being an azzhole with women