when a girl says this to a guy...

[tony-montana]

shes moving to the state im in... known her for over 5 years... ONLINE that is. never met but it's been talked about a few times. this is just a question in general (nothing to do with me and her. we are just friends) when a girl talks to you like this:

her: I'm gonna change heaps
me: in what way lol
her: I dunno the word
her: I won't close myself off to boys
her: Im gonna go wif the flow
her: didn't feel right here
her: maybe I always knew I was leavin so no point in relationships!
her: Im pretty open to finding someone
me: im sure you'll find a boy in no time
her: dun get me wrong, I not goin out lookin for one
her: and I dun care if I don't haf one
her: but if one comes along that I am fond of, I won't shrug him off like I do to guys over here
me: yeah yeah i get ya. thats good
me: always be open to that
me: or you'll miss out
her: yip !
me: soo yeah. my boss is gay right

-

sooo when a girl talks to a guy like this.. does that mean im of no interest to her? just checking for future situations if a girl talks to me this way. and yes i know i was talking to her like i wasnt interested but thats cause im friends. i'm not trying any moves on her.

any ideas?

 

[SharinganUser]

Yeah, stop talking to people online whom you've never met in real time. Go out and meet people face to face.

 

[tony-montana]

erm, i was asking as a general question. offline, online, whatever. if a girl talks that way to a guy. i didn't ask how to meet people.

 

[SharinganUser]

I know what you asked. All it really means is that she see's you as a friend. A woman who is interested in you would not say crap like this. This isn't a problem you would have if you went out and conveyed confidence by meeting people offline.

 

[tony-montana]

i'm sure there's been many cases of a girl talking like that to a guy and further down the track they hooked up together. i've actually seen it happen. a girl knew a guy for years and one day they just started having dinner together dating, etc.

 

[SharinganUser]

No. Just No.

 

[Bossman08]

shes moving to the state im in... known her for over 5 years... ONLINE that is. never met but it's been talked about a few times. this is just a question in general (nothing to do with me and her. we are just friends) when a girl talks to you like this:

her: I'm gonna change heaps
me: in what way lol
her: I dunno the word
her: I won't close myself off to boys
her: Im gonna go wif the flow
her: didn't feel right here
her: maybe I always knew I was leavin so no point in relationships!
her: Im pretty open to finding someone
me: im sure you'll find a boy in no time
her: dun get me wrong, I not goin out lookin for one
her: and I dun care if I don't haf one
her: but if one comes along that I am fond of, I won't shrug him off like I do to guys over here
me: yeah yeah i get ya. thats good
me: always be open to that
me: or you'll miss out
her: yip !
me: soo yeah. my boss is gay right

-

sooo when a girl talks to a guy like this.. does that mean im of no interest to her? just checking for future situations if a girl talks to me this way. and yes i know i was talking to her like i wasnt interested but thats cause im friends. i'm not trying any moves on her.

any ideas?

You are not listening to what she is saying.

her: I'm gonna change heaps

Ask yourself. Who is she right now? What sort of person is she? What sort of crowd is she hanging with now? How does she act?

She is moving to a new place. Now she wants to redefine herself. If she is conservative, she is going to go the opposite, if she is wild, she is gonna do the opposite of that....now continue to listen to her...

me: in what way lol
her: I dunno the word
her: I won't close myself off to boys
her: Im gonna go wif the flow
her: didn't feel right here

The word is "gonna be a freak slvt" Not going to close herself off to boys. going with the flow. It didn't feel right there (too many people know me, I can't slvt out with out ruining my rep here)

her: maybe I always knew I was leavin so no point in relationships!
her: Im pretty open to finding someone

She didn't want to be locked down in a square relationship. She wants to have fun.


Look at your responses. You put yourself in the friendzone there.

me: im sure you'll find a boy in no time

this says, I'm only interested in being your friend. Not being the boy you find.

You need to make the conversations about how much fun you guys are going to have when she gets here. How you believe that she should be free to explore herself and life with out judgement, you need to be pimping her mind, selling her a dream of freedom from reprocussions and judgements. Selling her the dream of all the fun things you will do together.

Tell her what you are going to do with her. Lead her. You come off as someone who is on her level or beneath her, not someone who is above her and leading her. Assume you are the leader and tell her about all the fun you'll have together.

You messed this one up. Give her some space and then come back with some strong messages. In fact, get off the chat and get on the phone with her, show her a whole different person on the phone, because she thinks she knows who you are over chat. Be very upbeat, very positive, be the leader in the convo, sell her on the fun and then get off the phone quick. set you a 10 or 15 minute timer...don't stay on the phone for hours. If she tries to keep you on the phone, make an excuse and get off. Good luck.