when a girl says shes too busy to do something

[lamobatsman]

I want to know what this really means in general. In a more specific context in my story before can a girl really be that busy not to make time to do something. I want to learn when would have been a good point to next cos i dont seem to do this well with many girls and i end up getting screwed over.

If a girl reli likes you she will make time for you right?

In my story it was a girl online that i had met and she had booked tickets to come down and see me. She always liked writing on fb but everytime i asked for a fone call or skype she promised but never did. this was for two months i waited for a skype or a phone call

Now guys what would you have done and how long would you have taken this crap before you would have nexted her. I need to get better at filtering out biatches

EDIT: this story has already unfolded. i was looking at hinsight here where i went rong. The NC didnt work cos she would always write back saying why havnt you written to me and then i would write her lots, then she would ignore me for several days so we have no contact for a few days. then i would ask her why she hasnt not written back and she would say she has been busy. so i go NC on here again and after a cuple of days she would ask again why i not write her, am i busy or something etc? same cycle for the last few weeks it was. Is this normal behaviour??

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Shes too busy = Your not the #1 dude in her life.

 

[Borknagar]

I didn't even read what you said, but too busy means she sucks, go no contact, delete her number, but it's ok to say **** off first though

 

[pinkfl]

Sorry but she's just not that into you.
She has twenty minutes of free time over the course of a few months to make a phone call or skype.

 

[3countriesPlan]

The chorus from this forum will be to just delete go nc and etc, and well everyone is right. Don't waste time on sh1t. I always think about things like this: once had a girl on my team who was a VP at a financial company and she was always free for me, would get off work on time, end meetings etc then meet me at a restaurant, my place, or even just for coffee.

She was a freaking VP at a financial company and always free for ****** but we have girls whose jobs are "accounts payable assist" saying they are busy.. lol busy? they are insignificant specks of dirt at their company so I really don't want to hear those types attempting to be cool.

 

[lamobatsman]

Sorry but she's just not that into you.
She has twenty minutes of free time over the course of a few months to make a phone call or skype.

she came down to see me albeit with her friend for the weekend but then got off with another guy as my previous thread stated.

pinkfl - she was into writing me a lot intially on fb chat but i said i wanted to skype or call cos thats what you do when you like someone. everytime she promised but for some reason or another never happened. 2 months goes and it was just fb chat ot watsapp and by the last few weeks before she flew down her messages even on there were short and she hardly had time to write.
Why would she fly down to london to see me with her friend cos if she liked me enuf to do that then why she not like me enuf to pick up the phone or skype?

Also pink fl- why would she be messaging me all the time for the first months and then the second month it sort of died and wasnt as much. she said she got reli busy with work and moving house. In fact this is what she said after the first two weeks of talking:

me: when you like someone you want to see them. if you cant ud rather speak to them
i just kind of get the feeling that im the one who always wants to hear ur voice or see you (skype)
i love chatting to you on facebook u know that
but i prefer speaking to you.
if you reli like someone thats what you do no?
i just dont want to end up having a relationship with fb chat

her: yh thats right..but when i'm busy and ill and i'm lying in my bed i cant skype with you

me: i know that
its just been 2 weels and we havent reli talked or skype thats all
im not having a go at you hun
i just wasnt sure if u prefer just chatting in fb. everyone is different lol


her:i prefering talking and see the other one too...
but at the moment i'm very busy and only for sleep at home and then i go quickly in my bed and not on the laptop
but this time changed hopefully soon and then we finally can skype. look I'm at the moment very busy caus i move out on the 1st of dec and yh its a lot of stress.

me: its nice to know that u do want to skype and talk to me on the phone i just wasnt sure thats all

her: be sure i want it

She is moving out 6 weeks after this conversation- can you be that stressed and busy not to skype or call? yet she has time to watsapp and fb chat, albeit she slowly stopped as much the next month cos she was busy.

 

[DonJuanabe]

You are weak and needy. She knows this. She knows she holds all the cards. She knows she has all the power. She does not respect you. If a girl does not respect you she cannot be interested in you. Move on and stop wasting any more of your life over this person.

 

[Greasy Pig]

^^ This.
You're trapped in the vortex of a woman who wants your attention but not your c0ck. Abandon all hope here.
She blatantly disrespected you by turning up for a visit and promptly kissing some random. Get rid of bad rubbish, man. Seriously.
I bet you lie awake at night thinking about her. And I bet the first thing you do each morning is check to see if she's contacted you or online.
I've been there mate. It sucks. You have gnawing sourness in your stomach because you're stressing about why she's acting the way she is. You're not eating right and your moods change depending on if she's contacted you or not.

Do you think she's doing the same? No fvcking way.
She's not simply "too busy", she just finds it hard to Skype you when she has some other guy's rod in her mouth.
Become unavailable and concentrate on finding women who would crawl over broken glass to see you.
This one is sucking the life out of you. Do whatever you have to do to cease contact.

 

[nismo-4]

Cases like these show us part of how men jack up the price of love, sex, and companionship.

To answer your question OP, your princess is in another castle. Trust us when we say that if she wanted you in the 2 months time that you gave her, she would've came to you. Not the case here. She's an attention wh0re. Going ghost and deleting her number is the best thing that is for you. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed. Happy New year! :cheer:

 

[NotoriousGRK]

Please put your rubbish in the bins provided

Happy new year!

 

[lamobatsman]

^^ This.
You're trapped in the vortex of a woman who wants your attention but not your c0ck. Abandon all hope here.
She blatantly disrespected you by turning up for a visit and promptly kissing some random. Get rid of bad rubbish, man. Seriously.
I bet you lie awake at night thinking about her. And I bet the first thing you do each morning is check to see if she's contacted you or online.
I've been there mate. It sucks. You have gnawing sourness in your stomach because you're stressing about why she's acting the way she is. You're not eating right and your moods change depending on if she's contacted you or not.

Do you think she's doing the same? No fvcking way.
She's not simply "too busy", she just finds it hard to Skype you when she has some other guy's rod in her mouth.
Become unavailable and concentrate on finding women who would crawl over broken glass to see you.
This one is sucking the life out of you. Do whatever you have to do to cease contact.

this is exactyl wat im doing. my moods change like u said and i take it out on my family etc. im not eating well. every nite i cant sleep etc. what shall i do???? block delete etc????

 

[Ringleader41]

this is exactyl wat im doing. my moods change like u said and i take it out on my family etc. im not eating well. every nite i cant sleep etc. what shall i do???? block delete etc????

Drop this girl out of ur life and she will try to come back

 

[DonJuanabe]

For the future, since you are going to have to suffer to get out of this one, when you meet a girl and you "like" her, immediately relegate her to third or fourth priority. Immediately give priority to a few hobbies, interests, work, whatever. Your life, not her life, must be the most important thing to you. You must exercise control over your emotions and intentionally view her with objectivity, not subjectivity. She is the sum total of how she treats you, not how you wish she treated you. This will prevent your current situation from recurring.

 

[lamobatsman]

For the future, since you are going to have to suffer to get out of this one, when you meet a girl and you "like" her, immediately relegate her to third or fourth priority. Immediately give priority to a few hobbies, interests, work, whatever. Your life, not her life, must be the most important thing to you. You must exercise control over your emotions and intentionally view her with objectivity, not subjectivity.

She is the sum total of how she treats you, not how you wish she treated you. This will prevent your current situation from recurring.

What u mean by this last statement?

 

[lamobatsman]

UPDATE: well i found out from her best mate that she did really like me. But how is that possible if she had no time to skype me in two months?!!!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Hi! So, you wanna get rid of all the confusing signals you seem to be getting? Here's a really, REALLY simple way to do this...

IGNORE HER WORDS AND LOOK AT HER ACTIONS.

If her words are saying "I like you" but her actions are saying "I'm not trying to be around you," go with the action. Think about it: if someone is saying "I don't want to hurt you" while punching you in the face, which one are you going to believe? :box:

Oh and to answer your question about DonJuanabe's quote, what he means (and correct me if I'm wrong, DonJuanabe) is that how a woman feels about you is based upon the collage of ways she treats you, not just how you desire her to treat you. In other words: you want to think she likes you, wants you physically, wants to be around you, etc.; however, if the TOTAL of her actions isn't saying this, it means she doesn't like you. Right now, her action equation towards you could be described as this:

Saying "I Like You" (which is unverifiable since her friends said she said it, which may or may not be true) + her not coming to see you + her not calling/skyping you + her ignoring you for days at a time = NOT INTERESTED

BTW, if you're interested in knowing ways to tell if a girl likes you, read THIS. In the meantime, keep it simple: if she liked you, she'd make time to spend with you. I've dated a lawyer, a scientist, and several chicks in master degree programs - ALL with busy schedules, ALL of whom still managed to make time for me, even if it was just a 5 minute phone call. You mean to tell me she can't find 5 minutes out the day to skype you? NOT interested.

Now, you can keep on asking us question after question about whether or not we're 100% sure she doesn't like you. She doesn't. She may like you as a friend or potential orbiter, but she does NOT have high interest in you. High interested girls reach out to YOU and look for ways to spend time with you even when their life is busy. And, real talk, no one's life is so busy that they can't find time to spend with a person they really, REALLY like.

Hope this helps!

 

[pinkfl]

She is a typical attention seeker. That's why she keeps talking to you online because she gains some sort of emotional satisfaction from it.

She probably was planning a trip to that area anyways which is why she met up with you. She feels its a feather in her cap that she has a guy this interested in her.

Look; when a girl likes you, she will want to talk to you all the time. And in all different ways, not just on the internet. She will call, she will want to hear your voice, she will want to hear from you. I honestly still stand by my original comment, that she isn't really that into you and she just likes the attention of constant messages in her inbox.

I'm really sorry but I think your efforts are better spent elsewhere.

 

[GymRunner22]

If she is busy she is busy but she will find time for you somehow. Just don't get angry.

 

[lamobatsman]

Hi! So, you wanna get rid of all the confusing signals you seem to be getting? Here's a really, REALLY simple way to do this...

IGNORE HER WORDS AND LOOK AT HER ACTIONS.

If her words are saying "I like you" but her actions are saying "I'm not trying to be around you," go with the action. Think about it: if someone is saying "I don't want to hurt you" while punching you in the face, which one are you going to believe? :box:

Oh and to answer your question about DonJuanabe's quote, what he means (and correct me if I'm wrong, DonJuanabe) is that how a woman feels about you is based upon the collage of ways she treats you, not just how you desire her to treat you. In other words: you want to think she likes you, wants you physically, wants to be around you, etc.; however, if the TOTAL of her actions isn't saying this, it means she doesn't like you. Right now, her action equation towards you could be described as this:

Saying "I Like You" (which is unverifiable since her friends said she said it, which may or may not be true) + her not coming to see you + her not calling/skyping you + her ignoring you for days at a time = NOT INTERESTED

BTW, if you're interested in knowing ways to tell if a girl likes you, read THIS. In the meantime, keep it simple: if she liked you, she'd make time to spend with you. I've dated a lawyer, a scientist, and several chicks in master degree programs - ALL with busy schedules, ALL of whom still managed to make time for me, even if it was just a 5 minute phone call. You mean to tell me she can't find 5 minutes out the day to skype you? NOT interested.

Now, you can keep on asking us question after question about whether or not we're 100% sure she doesn't like you. She doesn't. She may like you as a friend or potential orbiter, but she does NOT have high interest in you. High interested girls reach out to YOU and look for ways to spend time with you even when their life is busy. And, real talk, no one's life is so busy that they can't find time to spend with a person they really, REALLY like.

Hope this helps!

wow reli good harry thats some good stuff

but we can never know if she did reli like me or not. I havent told u somthing cos i deliberately left i out but the week before she flew out to see me she was very angry at something stupid i did. BUt the issue was the 2 months before then. she was never reli interested.

I have a question for you harry- what bout a girl initally being hot and into you then being not so hot after a few weeks. what does that say? also if a girl books tickets to come see you with her mate curely she must like you a lot??

 

[lamobatsman]

She is a typical attention seeker. That's why she keeps talking to you online because she gains some sort of emotional satisfaction from it.

She probably was planning a trip to that area anyways which is why she met up with you. She feels its a feather in her cap that she has a guy this interested in her.

Look; when a girl likes you, she will want to talk to you all the time. And in all different ways, not just on the internet. She will call, she will want to hear your voice, she will want to hear from you. I honestly still stand by my original comment, that she isn't really that into you and she just likes the attention of constant messages in her inbox.

I'm really sorry but I think your efforts are better spent elsewhere.

so you telling me that the conversation i posted earlier between her and me, was all BS from her, saying that she wanted to talk to me but shes reli busy with stuff?

also she was into me the first few weeks and used to talk all teh time then the last month we hardly chatteed as much but she said she was very stresfull with moving house and it was the end of the financial year so we cudnt talk at work. we used to talk on fb chat at work all time in october but come november she used to get mad at me when i tried talking to her cos she said she was busy at work. This is all BS? or maybe she is telling the truth?