When a girl is LOTS of IOI's, only to tell you later she's not interested ...

[Antonio']

Hey fellow members,
I tried searching on this topic, no results for me at least.

I've been doing a lot on my own, but I'd like to hear from you as well on this topic, so let's get to point.

I meet a girl at friday night, I can tell right away she's interested i mean lots of ioi's. Then the same night about two hours later i meet her again at an afterparty-like setting. More heavy ioi's from her, like her separating herself from her friends for one-on-one time w/me, apparently making out with her etc. you know. Dressing my coat on her, NOT being drunk at the time (much at least, she made clear that she won't drink anymore that night, besides water).
Lots of time pass, maybe 1.5 hours, besides making out she's asking me rather personal questions; about my background etc. And when i'm bout to fclose the deal, she bails out, i mean she goes "sleeping" upstairs. No words,completely nothing from after this point. I went a bit closer to her, but she kept pulling away for 2nd time.

After this point i go back downstairs to chill and drink some beer. Then she comes back downstairs but i play it cool bcause i was discussing a topic w/ some other people.

Now, fast forward a week. completely nothing from her, until I get a txt message from her saying that she was drunk at the time and was/is not interested in me.
And the girl, solid HB blonde, real deal.

Some background info: She lives in anoter town, 200 km away from mine. She was on a vacation for a weekend w/ group of guys and girls, aged 18-20, my age 20.

So my question is:
What is this kind of behavior, was/is she still interested in me? My gut feeling says thou she's interested.

Have you ever experienced smthing similar to this? Your thoughts?
Appreciate your time, fellas.

-Antonio

 

[stevejabba]

It sounds like you were not smooth right at the critical point. Either you showed too much puppy dog like enthusiasm / eagerness, or else nerves etc.

Girls want to be taken by men who are in control, leading them..They want to feel that they're going to be royally ****ed by a guy whose going to give them a really good time.

It only takes a fraction of a second to subcommunicate inseccurity, nerves etc at critical moments which can be hard to turn around without a bedrock of real, deep rooted confidence.

Either that or you've got really bad breath which she only detected when she got close to you!!

 

[YAboi]

She might have another man. There could be a thousand reasons why she's not interested but the fact remains she is not interested so back off and search for a girl who actually cares about you.

 

[pyros]

women are crazy nowadays. They act bratty, childlish, selfish, stupidly...they change their mood very fast...etc.

IOI's means little. They only thing that does matter is when you fvck her, and even then she can lose interest anyway because of many reasons. The fact that they have dozens of orbiters and possible suitors is one of these reasons.

Now, in your case, she was 'interested' and she was drunk. Now that she is sober and back to reality she is not interested anymore. It is not that complicated.

P.S.
For example, last Friday I was in a club with a few females I know. Then one of them bumped into a guy she knows from university. After a while they were making out.
When we had to leave she just stopped making out with this guy and said:
her: "alright dear, see you" and she left. Just like that.

When we were outside she joked about the situation, and she told us:
her: "hahaha, I just left him standint there...he was sweet."

See? she did not give a fvck about the guy. Why? because she has other options she wants more. And she knows that eventhough this guy was 'cute', she can find another one every weekend.
The same does not apply for the guy who may be wondering why she left like that, why she did not even give him her number...etc. just like you.

Animo! ligar a dia de hoy es una mierda! lol.

 

[Antonio']

Ok thanks for replies, some good points to keep in mind. To be clear i'm not wondering if or not she doesn't like, but i was thinking why that happened the way it did.

Stevejabba you might have a point, i considered that one myself the following days, i did not lead strong enough to fvck her. And yeah, only that counts. Good learning experience anyways. Gotta lead stronger nexttime

good luck and have fun fellas

Edit: pyros: yeah i'm definately not looking to be her or anybodys orbiter of any kind

 

[BrainDamage92]

Reality check:

1. Girls love attention.

2. She is on vacation.

2+2=she doesnt give a **** about you.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

Hey fellow members,
I tried searching on this topic, no results for me at least.

I've been doing a lot on my own, but I'd like to hear from you as well on this topic, so let's get to point.

I meet a girl at friday night, I can tell right away she's interested i mean lots of ioi's. Then the same night about two hours later i meet her again at an afterparty-like setting. More heavy ioi's from her, like her separating herself from her friends for one-on-one time w/me, apparently making out with her etc. you know. Dressing my coat on her, NOT being drunk at the time (much at least, she made clear that she won't drink anymore that night, besides water).
Lots of time pass, maybe 1.5 hours, besides making out she's asking me rather personal questions; about my background etc. And when i'm bout to fclose the deal, she bails out, i mean she goes "sleeping" upstairs. No words,completely nothing from after this point. I went a bit closer to her, but she kept pulling away for 2nd time.

After this point i go back downstairs to chill and drink some beer. Then she comes back downstairs but i play it cool bcause i was discussing a topic w/ some other people.

Now, fast forward a week. completely nothing from her, until I get a txt message from her saying that she was drunk at the time and was/is not interested in me.
And the girl, solid HB blonde, real deal.

Some background info: She lives in anoter town, 200 km away from mine. She was on a vacation for a weekend w/ group of guys and girls, aged 18-20, my age 20.

So my question is:
What is this kind of behavior, was/is she still interested in me? My gut feeling says thou she's interested.

Have you ever experienced smthing similar to this? Your thoughts?
Appreciate your time, fellas.

-Antonio

I'm pretty sure i know what happened, you talk a lot about IoI. The thing is you seem to give a lot of value to them and i think because of that your mood towards her changed. I think she saw through you how much her interest in you impacted and knew you where plug-and-play from that point leaving no challenge at all.

The fact is that some girls fake IoI's to test how you will respond, if she see's you are too impressed by it it lowers your value because you are basically surprised about how interested she is in you.

When her IoI's look too much and seem too good to be true they usually are, best thing to do is hang back and don't open up and show all yours cards like she is doing. She was testing to see if you would fall into this trap, you did. And her _actual_ initial remote interest she had has therefor vanished completely.

 

[Starwolf]

I'm pretty sure i know what happened, you talk a lot about IoI. The thing is you seem to give a lot of value to them and i think because of that your mood towards her changed. I think she saw through you how much her interest in you impacted and knew you where plug-and-play from that point leaving no challenge at all.

The fact is that some girls fake IoI's to test how you will respond, if she see's you are too impressed by it it lowers your value because you are basically surprised about how interested she is in you.

When her IoI's look too much and seem too good to be true they usually are, best thing to do is hang back and don't open up and show all yours cards like she is doing. She was testing to see if you would fall into this trap, you did. And her _actual_ initial remote interest she had has therefor vanished completely.

Look for IoI's ..but don't always look for IoI's because sometimes girls fake IoI's.. The f*ck??

tbh i don't think a girl who was there on vacation and out with friends had some kind of grand strategy to test if the OP was worthy of her.. Like Pyros said. "she was drunk" she had a good time making out but didn't want to go all the way.. thats it. All these posters talking about little details and mistakes the OP made. A Waste of time!!

The only problem i see... it's a week later and OP is still thinking about it.

Who got his hamster spinning now?

 

[No.Danny]

IOIs don't mean ****, at all, jack ****.
When she's in bed screaming your name .... maybe consider that an IOI

 

[Chickfight]

I'm pretty sure i know what happened, you talk a lot about IoI. The thing is you seem to give a lot of value to them and i think because of that your mood towards her changed. I think she saw through you how much her interest in you impacted and knew you where plug-and-play from that point leaving no challenge at all.

The fact is that some girls fake IoI's to test how you will respond, if she see's you are too impressed by it it lowers your value because you are basically surprised about how interested she is in you.

When her IoI's look too much and seem too good to be true they usually are, best thing to do is hang back and don't open up and show all yours cards like she is doing. She was testing to see if you would fall into this trap, you did. And her _actual_ initial remote interest she had has therefor vanished completely.

She's young, at a party and on vacation. Honestly girls that age don't even know what they want, at a party with alcohol AND on vacation, they are just looking for a bit of fun and often the next day they are in a completely different mindset.

Example; I met a pretty 19yo blonde while out clubbing. She actually opened me by asking for a lighter. IoI's left and right, I escalate and make out. A couple of her friends come out and want to continue on clubbing. If I had more time I could probably have made a real connection, but as it was I told her i want to take her out sometime and she gives me her number. Few days later surprise surprise no reply.

Girls that age honestly don't have a worry in the world. When they're out for a night clubbing they just want a bit of fun. That's why they're so easy to make out with. The only tips I can give from my experience meeting girls in clubs is to not neglect building rapport, which is essential to her being keen to meet up again. Also making tentative plans in person and getting her excited about them (works even better if they're on vacation cause it's in the context of you "showing" them something. Ioi's is purely attraction based. You need more if you want return customers. My mistake in the previous example was talking to much about myself and not really finding anything significant out about her. The best way to build a connection is asking the right questions. To be fair I was high as **** on ecstasy at the time so I dont give myself a hard time about it haha.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't sweat it. Truth is you were doomed from the start.

Because she lives no where near you you have no opportuntity to sell yourself.

You have to try and do you're selling in a party/meet-up enviroment... chances of being successful at that is low. Best just banter a bit, guage her IOI ask for the number and leave. Then wait... set a date and sell one on one, when you are alone. You really couldn't do that with this long distance women.

You likely tried too hard to push things and you turned her off. An hour and a half talking on first meet up is too fvcking long. Should be no more than 15 minutes, get the number and leave without sharing too much information about yourself, so that you are a mysterious stranger that she wants to meet up with later.

Learn from this and next time you are at a party don't spend too much time with a girl you are interest in.

 

[VladPatton]

Don't even think about it, or ask why. Just move on and get used to doing so.

 

[TheGambino]

My thought is, don't contact her. Her interest level isn't high and shes testing you by sending that message. The best answer is NO answer or something like ok cya. Just to let her know that you don't give 2 sh1ts about her being interested or not. Just stay nice, aloof and outcome independant in your next experiences. A interested girl will never send you that she isnt interested because she will fear losing you ofcourse. Worse thing you can do in your case is answering stuff like why or howcome or we had such a great night howcome lmao DONT do that. Just ignore that crappy attention 'fishing' text or answer ok.

Just keep working on yourself, go to the gym take care of yourself find other girls and if keep no contact. Talk to her but be short in your responses if she reaches out again. If in some weird case she tries to set up a date go for it and rock her night if you feel like it. But ofcourse youll find new chicks who are more interested in you then this one.

Gooodluck broski

 

[Antonio']

Appreciate it, guys. A few good points i hadn't thought much on yet or made clear enough for myself. Thanks

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I'm pretty sure i know what happened, you talk a lot about IoI. The thing is you seem to give a lot of value to them and i think because of that your mood towards her changed. I think she saw through you how much her interest in you impacted and knew you where plug-and-play from that point leaving no challenge at all.

The fact is that some girls fake IoI's to test how you will respond, if she see's you are too impressed by it it lowers your value because you are basically surprised about how interested she is in you.

When her IoI's look too much and seem too good to be true they usually are, best thing to do is hang back and don't open up and show all yours cards like she is doing. She was testing to see if you would fall into this trap, you did. And her _actual_ initial remote interest she had has therefor vanished completely.

This^

"Must spread...."

 

[Suspens]

Lots of time pass, maybe 1.5 hours, besides making out she's asking me rather personal questions; about my background etc.

Maybe she got the answers, didn't like something about you and lost interest.

She was on a vacation for a weekend w/ group of guys and girls, aged

And ****ing around probably ,and is back to her BF now. Who cares anyway, out of sight, out of mind.