When a girl asks "Who else is going?"

teddy

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Hey guys. Something I've been running into quite a bit is when you ask a girl out a lot of times I get "Who else is going?" or "Can I bring people?" or else assumes it's a group thing. And this occurs even with girls that I'm sure are into me.

It's puzzling. I know this is almost always a bad sign, but I don't want to next a woman just because she's just seeing if it's a date or not in an indirect way. How do you respond in these situations? Lately when a girl says this, I just don't bother anymore.
 

EFFORT

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What are you exactly saying when you ask them out?
 

teddy

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EFFORT said:
What are you exactly saying when you ask them out?
Let's meet up at xyz location for drinks/coffee/catch-up/whatever.
 

Konada

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teddy said:
Hey guys. Something I've been running into quite a bit is when you ask a girl out a lot of times I get "Who else is going?" or "Can I bring people?" or else assumes it's a group thing. And this occurs even with girls that I'm sure are into me.

It's puzzling. I know this is almost always a bad sign, but I don't want to next a woman just because she's just seeing if it's a date or not in an indirect way. How do you respond in these situations? Lately when a girl says this, I just don't bother anymore.
Funny, because my sister used to test guys the same way. Be bold and direct and call her bluff.

Her: Who else is going?
You: No one else, just the two of us.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

teddy

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thanks for the responses. I just automatically think "why, just me is not good enough?" when a chick says that to me and mentally I next them. I just don't know if this is an overreaction though.
 

nismo-4

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OP, read what Konada said and apply it.

If she wants to bring another person after doing so, drop her unless you want to be in the friendzone.

Read what Konada said and apply it.

Case closed.
 

Poon King

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That rarely happens to me.

Most men p*ssy-foot around showing their sexual interest in a woman.. which is why women react by assuming you're a beta orbiter rather than a sexy man she wants to f*ck.

Do you FLIRT with these women or just ask them out? No flirting means you're scared of rejection. Being afraid of rejection from a woman makes you a b!tch.. which isn't sexy.

The proper response when a woman asks "who else is coming?" is "Why?".

I always ask why because it forces the woman to reveal her perception of the situation. Based on her response you can either move forward or NEXT her.
 

9Volt

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teddy said:
Hey guys. Something I've been running into quite a bit is when you ask a girl out a lot of times I get "Who else is going?" or "Can I bring people?" or else assumes it's a group thing. And this occurs even with girls that I'm sure are into me.

It's puzzling. I know this is almost always a bad sign, but I don't want to next a woman just because she's just seeing if it's a date or not in an indirect way. How do you respond in these situations? Lately when a girl says this, I just don't bother anymore.
It's not a good sign especially if it's happening a lot.

It could be they see you only as a friend, could be the place you're asking them out to (group places like an amusement park) but it's most likely they don't want it to be seen as a personal "date" between you two.

If you have no problem with rejection just be straight up and tell them myself and you. If they make excuses, flake etc. don't worry about it.

It could be your looks, personality, how you dress etc. They just might not be attracted to you depending on how you look. We have no idea if you might be cool and they see you just as a friend but aren't attractive looking to these chicks where they'd want to go alone with you.

Do you dress well? Are you in shape? Are you short? It could even be your race and the types of chicks you're asking (out of your league as far as a couple date). It could be they barely know you, aren't "rejecting" you but want to warm up to you first and that could lead to a one on one date. There could be tons of reasons why.

At LEAST they didn't say NO straight up. So that's a good sign.

You have to be honest with yourself. No one knows you and no magic answer will automatically have women saying "yes" right away if they're all asking who else is going etc. We need more info on your looks, personality, do these chicks seem interested in you in more than friends at times or just being friendly?

If you don't have any issues you could think of but they are responding in that way just go out with the group. They may warm up to you or you may meet other chicks with them as having social proof. But that's if you don't care to go out with a group (if they "reject" you in that way). If you do go out with a group and they don't seem interested in you don't ask them again. It's not going to hurt though going out with a group that you might be able to use to your advantage.

We need more info on you though and why YOU think they're responding to you in that way.
 

teddy

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9Volt said:
It's not a good sign especially if it's happening a lot.

It could be they see you only as a friend, could be the place you're asking them out to (group places like an amusement park) but it's most likely they don't want it to be seen as a personal "date" between you two.

If you have no problem with rejection just be straight up and tell them myself and you. If they make excuses, flake etc. don't worry about it.

It could be your looks, personality, how you dress etc. They just might not be attracted to you depending on how you look. We have no idea if you might be cool and they see you just as a friend but aren't attractive looking to these chicks where they'd want to go alone with you.

Do you dress well? Are you in shape? Are you short? It could even be your race and the types of chicks you're asking (out of your league as far as a couple date). It could be they barely know you, aren't "rejecting" you but want to warm up to you first and that could lead to a one on one date. There could be tons of reasons why.

At LEAST they didn't say NO straight up. So that's a good sign.

You have to be honest with yourself. No one knows you and no magic answer will automatically have women saying "yes" right away if they're all asking who else is going etc. We need more info on your looks, personality, do these chicks seem interested in you in more than friends at times or just being friendly?

If you don't have any issues you could think of but they are responding in that way just go out with the group. They may warm up to you or you may meet other chicks with them as having social proof. But that's if you don't care to go out with a group (if they "reject" you in that way). If you do go out with a group and they don't seem interested in you don't ask them again. It's not going to hurt though going out with a group that you might be able to use to your advantage.

We need more info on you though and why YOU think they're responding to you in that way.
Yeah, there are problems with me. I'm short, very average looking if that, and on the skinnier side. And race is an issue with a couple of these. But a lot of these women I meet through work (not necessarily coworkers, but "through work") and they seek me out. A lot of times they are the ones to initiate things, especially when they text me out of nowhere after not talking to them for a few months.

To be honest, I'm doing my best to improve on my weaknesses, but I think this shouldn't be happening to me this much. But maybe it's just numbers and I haven't asked enough of them.
 

Trump

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Poon King said:
That rarely happens to me.

Most men p*ssy-foot around showing their sexual interest in a woman.. which is why women react by assuming you're a beta orbiter rather than a sexy man she wants to f*ck.

Do you FLIRT with these women or just ask them out? No flirting means you're scared of rejection. Being afraid of rejection from a woman makes you a b!tch.. which isn't sexy.

The proper response when a woman asks "who else is coming?" is "Why?".

I always ask why because it forces the woman to reveal her perception of the situation. Based on her response you can either move forward or NEXT her.
I know women are indirect, but doesn't her question of "who else is coming" reveal her perception of the situation?

I don't think I'd even reply to it. It's like "You are a sucker but you may have some non sucker friends who may cute and I could get along/have some sex with."
 

LMFAO

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"Was going to bring my mum along, but she's busy tonight".

Retarded question deserves a retarded answer. Just make it self amusing.
 

Poon King

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Trump said:
I know women are indirect, but doesn't her question of "who else is coming" reveal her perception of the situation?

I don't think I'd even reply to it. It's like "You are a sucker but you may have some non sucker friends who may cute and I could get along/have some sex with."
It's fun to watch women squirm though. They are most confortable in the world of indirect communication. When you FORCE them to be direct is can be fun to watch. :yes:
 
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