When a DJ's crush blows her chance...A Great story...

[Christopher_Reeves]

Hey guys. I've got this story that I need some more opinions on. Ok, there's this girl right? We'll call her Laura (HB 8.5), and there is this guy, we'll call him Chris

Chris one day goes to school and walks into the library, where he meets Laura. Laura begins to introduce herself as being a psycology major and as she's doing this, Chris picks up a book and motions her to follow him to the check out. She then asks Chris "Hey...um...hehe, what are you um...doing?" Chris then smiles at her and lightly touches her hand while saying "Whats it look like I'm doing you dork!?", she smiles and Chris and Laura leave the library talking for about ten minutes. Chris gets Laura's number. Chris and laura for the next month or two become pretty good friends who flirt and stuff. One night Chris sees Laura in the Fine Arts Building while he is practicing piano and she goes over there. She stands by him but he continues to finish his song. ...Chris and Laura then talk for two hours and Chris puts all kinds of moves on her . She then says "So Chris, how come you never invite me to your house"....Chris says "Because I shoot trespassers" with a smile and a stroke of the hair. She blushes and looks down...Chris then strokes her hair again while holding her hand and then kisses her.

For duration of the month, Laura begins changing her class schedule to be with Chris more, and becomes a music major in singing. Chris, of course, is very busy and doesn't always have time for her and so she starts to get frusterated with Chris because he doesn't spend every moment with her. Chris one day calls Laura to invite her out but she says something like "Oh, I can't...I'm sorry." The next day, Laura acts as if that incident never happened and is even more physical with Chris.

Chris doesn't really say much and starts to be a little indifferent with Laura. Laura is still hooked to Chris. One day, Chris and Laura are talking and Laura says to Chris "Hey...um...you know Paul Johnson, he's in the band?" Chris says "sure". She then says... "Well he asked me out today...and he's um...my...um...boyfriend, but I'm not sure because we don't do much together...". Chris just laughs. Chris is a little disappointed because he was kinda interested in Laura.

Now Paul is the biggest AFC in the school. Paul, every day, would buy her flowers and constantly....constantly...compliment her.
Laura is a student from Hong Kong (she speaks pretty good English though) and he even said he was gonna save up every bit of his money to follow her when she goes back home.

To make a long story short...Although she had Paul as a "boyfriend", she would HARDLY EVER spend ANY time with him, and spend it all with Chris. In fact, one day, Laura and Chris were talking alone and Paul walked in and asked her to join him somewhere....she lied and said "I've gotta go to a friend's house in 15 minutes"...but she spend the time talking to Chris.

Chris is now fed up and he begins to start seeing this other girl named Pam. Now Pam is a good friend to Laura, so Chris starts talking to Laura about how great Pam is and Laura gets infused with jelousy. Laura tried to be cool about it but as soon as Chris leaves the room he peeks back behind the door and sees her starts to cry....

This is a true story by the way...I'm am "Chris". I feel really guilty about hurting her, but she blew her chance with me. She still to this day hates it when I leave...she thinks that I'm am "mean" but yet she constantly needs me. Everybody at the school jokes about how they NEVER see Paul and Laura together. She doesn't like Paul at all, in fact, she said that he was a weakling. I just want some opions on this story...thanks

(I edited this post and bolded the parts that illustrate THAT I DID MAKE MOVES, SO READ THE POST AND DON'T SAY THAT I DIDN'T BECAUSE I DID)

Have a nice day...

 

[Craig Reeves]

Yeah, Chris and I discussed this and I guess I can offer my opinon first.

This girl was very attracted to Chris but didn't want to put in the effort to get him, because she is so used to getting everything she wants anyway. So she took the first thing that she got.

She blew her chance because she didn't have the balls to try to get with Chris. It's too late for her now, she's stuck with her AFC boyfriend.

 

[felony]

Blowed her chance? What are you nuts? Is this some kind of joke?
Mate, you blew it. You were not the man on this occassion. I'm going away for 2 weeks. I want you to think about your actions and read the bible while i'm gone. But don't take too many more months to do it, you might miss somethin', again. If the rest of the Djs on this board haven't set you straight before i come back- then i'm going to sort you out.

Take it easy,
f.

 

[Smile]

I guess you could look at this in two ways chris, you did like this girl and so why didnt you get her? you lost out as much as she did, you should have made your move with this girl. The other way of looking at it is the way you currently are, that she missed out because she wants you but seeing as in this situation you were the one with all the facts (you knew she liked you, and you knew you liked her) it was you who should have acted and made the move, your the man, you control what happens, not her.

 

[Christopher_Reeves]

Well...

Well I wasn't really asking for help or anything. I wanted an opinion. I've looked through the DJ Bible and most of the stuff that I saw in there was stuff that I had figured out before I came to this site. From what I saw of it, it seems pretty well written, good work...anyway...

Felony, Smile, I know you all mean well and I appreciate your comments, but maybe you should read my post again before you do any more evaluation.

Smile, you said something like:

"it was you who should have acted and made the move, your the man, you control what happens, not her."

Smile, In my post, if you read it again, you should find somewhere in there these 3 sentences:

1. "Chris puts all kinds of moves on her"
2. "Chris then strokes her hair again while holding her hand and then kisses her"

3. "Chris one day calls Laura to invite her out"

I did make moves. We did all kinds of stuff. We kissed, hung out, I invited her out several times and on many of the times she agreed even.

I didn't invite her to my place simply because I didn't want anybody over that day. I'm not an easy guy to get...just because I wasn't clinging to her does not mean that I was being too passive.

The moral of the story is this: We were basically going out, and doing everything that boyfriend and girlfriend do, but then she goes and grabs Paul...thus ruining her chances with me. This is not about me "missing the boat here", this is about the fact that Laura assumed I wasn't interested.

Maybe I left out a few things about Laura and that may have confused you guys...for I was in a hurry when I wrote it anyway. Laura is very very strange.
Laura has not had experience with guys, ever. I was her first kiss, and her first romantic interest that actually paid attention to her. I am pretty popular at my college (I'm ALWAYS in the school paper for something) and Laura knows that I am extreamly picky about who I date...I can be. Laura is extreamly spoiled and used to getting everything she wants. She's also incredibly insecure. I did everything that I was suppose to do and yet she couldn't call me her "boyfriend"...even though I already was.

Listen...her friend Macy told me that Laura was talking to her about how she just couldn't call me a boyfriend because I was "Just too strong for her". "Even though I really like him, he just seems to busy for me...". This is what she said in an email to her friend Erica.

I am not a servant to anyone. Laura has never been good at sticking to anything...she tries many things and if success is not there right away, she gives up...this is why she's never dated despite her beauty. My attraction her is gone because of the fact she gave up on me like a wimp, just because I had my own life. I don't need a wimpy girl, I want someone who is secure with themselves.

 

[Smile]

After reading your reply id have advised you to next her because of how much of a wimp she being anyway, in life you struggle to find your equal and there is no way shes your equal, you'd be settling for less and she knew this, thats why she nexted herself for you, she knows she currently isnt worth you, and doesnt seem to be that bothered about improving herself.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
For duration of the month, Laura begins changing her class schedule to be with Chris more, and becomes a music major in singing. Chris, of course, is very busy and doesn't always have time for her and so she starts to get frusterated with Chris because he doesn't spend every moment with her.

A girl who is wit her 1st love, and insecure (your words not mines) makes a couple bad decisions. This is expected with 1st timers...You coulda just told her she was smothering you when she started taking all of your classes, but you didn't and your IL dropped. This plays on her insecurity and she tries to compensate, by being unavaliable. Makes sense?

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
Chris one day calls Laura to invite her out but she says something like "Oh, I can't...I'm sorry." The next day, Laura acts as if that incident never happened and is even more physical with Chris.

Okay, lemme get this str8, the chick smothers you by taking all of your classes, but when you call her and she declines she isn't giving you ENOUGH attention all of a sudden?Is it possible that she COULDN'T make it? Even if she could've, I think you are overanalysing.

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
Chris doesn't really say much and starts to be a little indifferent with Laura.

You start to feel indifferent and she uses another dude as a pawn

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
"Well he asked me out today...and he's um...my...um...boyfriend, but I'm not sure because we don't do much together...". Chris just laughs. Chris is a little disappointed because he was kinda interested in Laura.

Now everyone say it together...IRONIC. She sounds like she described your situation to a tee. "i'm not sure if he's my bf because WE DON'T DO MUCH TOGETHER.

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
Now Paul is the biggest AFC in the school. Paul, every day, would buy her flowers and constantly....constantly...compliment her.
Laura is a student from Hong Kong (she speaks pretty good English though) and he even said he was gonna save up every bit of his money to follow her when she goes back home.

She's not getting enough attention from you so she goes elsewhere

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
Chris is now fed up and he begins to start seeing this other girl named Pam. Now Pam is a good friend to Laura, so Chris starts talking to Laura about how great Pam is and Laura gets infused with jelousy. Laura tried to be cool about it but as soon as Chris leaves the room he peeks back behind the door and sees her starts to cry....

sigh... I think this is the worst outcome, you know she likes you and you still play "little games" Call her out on her **** and tell her to drop the games, don't keep up the charade because someone ALWAYS gets hurt

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
This is a true story by the way...I'm am "Chris".

OMG I would've never guessed it! It all makes sense now, your username is Christopher, and this guys name is Chris

Originally posted by Christopher_Reeves
I feel really guilty about hurting her, but she blew her chance with me.

How'd she blow her chance? By getting attached too early and coming off desperate, so she tries to compensate by illustrating to you that others find her desirable, and you go after her friend... nice... very DJ-esque

 

[OddTech]

Considering your and the girl's ages, I think both of you are just adding senseless drama into an otherwise simple case. You are both at fault for ending up like this. Cut the chase and games. Grow up and learn.

Even though Chris was interested in her as well, he was too afraid to MAKE the MOVE. He didn't pay attention to her ACTIONS. She wants him, and he knew it. She might have done some things to blew her chance, but you (Chris) blew your chance to be with her too. You both lost.

And since I'm a sh*tty mood -- no, your story is NOT great and you're not a DJ yet.

 

[Christopher_Reeves]

Microphone_Fiend I must say I'm impressed with your insight, and thanks for your reply.

Oddtech you really need to re-read my post...when you're not so overheated. It is not very wise to judge me as a DJ, considering how you've merely taken a piece of what I said and contorted it, just so you can find an excuse to be un-tactfull...I hate to tell you but this doesn't make you look tough, just insecure. If you're in a bad mood, go pop a Midol....anyway...

A girl who is wit her 1st love, and insecure (your words not mines) makes a couple bad decisions. This is expected with 1st timers...You coulda just told her she was smothering you when she started taking all of your classes, but you didn't and your IL dropped. This plays on her insecurity and she tries to compensate, by being unavaliable. Makes sense?

Yeah, and that's what plays over in my mind. I don't know, when she changed her class schedule, that's not when it started bothering me. It bothered me when she got this "boyfriend" but still needed attention from me...

Now everyone say it together...IRONIC. She sounds like she described your situation to a tee. "i'm not sure if he's my bf because WE DON'T DO MUCH TOGETHER.

Hehe. We did all kinds of "stuff" together. We were doing so much more than what her and Paul were doing. I just didn't mention all of it for the sake of longevity.

She's not getting enough attention from you so she goes elsewhere

Yeah you're right about that...but unfortunatly I'm a sophmore piano major taking 18 hours of classes and I'm also a part of a bible study group on campus so I don't have a lot of time. I did spend a lot of my time with her though. I COULD show her as much attention as Paul does, then she wouldn't even think of me as someone she would even touch...kinda like the situation that Paul is in now...she takes him for granted.

Okay, lemme get this str8, the chick smothers you by taking all of your classes, but when you call her and she declines she isn't giving you ENOUGH attention all of a sudden?Is it possible that she COULDN'T make it? Even if she could've, I think you are overanalysing.

LOL. Wow I didn't realize I was that confusing...okay I'll set you straight. (This is why I'm not a writer) Okay, when I was talking about her changing her schedule, that was to illustrate how much she liked me, not to show you how needy she was. She changed her schedule before she got her "boyfriend". I also asked her out before the "boyfriend" also. Forgive me for the confusion.

sigh... I think this is the worst outcome, you know she likes you and you still play "little games" Call her out on her **** and tell her to drop the games, don't keep up the charade because someone ALWAYS gets hurt

Yeah, and the truth is, I feel really bad about that. I guess I
was doing it for revenge for all of her games...I don't know...

How'd she blow her chance? By getting attached too early and coming off desperate, so she tries to compensate by illustrating to you that others find her desirable, and you go after her friend... nice... very DJ-esque

She didn't blow her chance by getting attatched too early. She blew it because she was not willing to work with a challenge. Laura did not go out with Paul to show me that others find her desirable, but she did it because she just wasn't sure enough that I liked her, so she gave up and went with a AFC that she's not even attracted to.

Even though we kissed, I wrote a song for her that she shows to everyone, I asked her out, and I spent a lot of time with her...she still wasn't sure because I wasn't clingy to her. If she truly appreciated my expressions to her then she would never question how I felt about her, even if I were to wait a week to call her.

 

[Jay Fiedler]

Chris you sound like an immature little kid who if you can't get what you want in exactly the time, way, and manner you want it, will take his ball and go home.

Its not rocket science-your making this way too complicated. If you like her, ask her out, be her boyfriend, **** her, whatever, just quit playing these games. And if you don't? Leave the poor girl the **** alone.

 

[Christopher_Reeves]

Read the post again...

Chris one day calls Laura to invite her out but she says something like "Oh, I can't...I'm sorry." The next day, Laura acts as if that incident never happened and is even more physical with Chris.

Thats in there...

Please note that I use the word "invite" and "ask" interchangibly, it's the same thing as what you said I should have done....JUST READ BEFORE EVALUATION!

And as far as games go...I dropped her as soon as she started going with Paul. That was her choice not mine. I'm not gonna "chase" some girl who has a boyfriend, whether she likes me or not. If she wanted a chance with me, she shouldn't have gone out with Paul, it's just that simple, there are too many other good women to chase after one who's "taken". She wants me, she could have breaken up with Paul, but she didn't have the guts too, I don't want a weak woman...

 

[Monkey]

Chris likes girl
Girl likes Chris
Chris thinks hes making major moves on her but she sees them as small moves.
Girl gets frustrated that Chris is not more 'forceful' as he never puts himself in a postion to take it further and never has time for her.
She can play that game too.
Girl finally gives up on Chris as a lost cause and starts dating other kid (possibly in the mean time)
Chris pulls back further and girl is now completely puzzled
Chris starts dating other girl and now girl is totally confused


She thinks "I thought he liked me but he never had time for me."
He thinks "I did like her and I thought she knew it! what went wrong?!!!"


Chris may have thought he was showing interest and all that but what he was really doing was utterly confusing this girl.

He simply presented himself as a guy who was interested but had no time for her. By following the busy routine too closely and not taking into account the individual situation he screwed it up.

Good news is this girl is probably still interested in him and if he only stopped trying to be such a 'DJ with checklist' and just acted like a good guy he'd probably get her.

 

[Christopher_Reeves]

She would have been a fool to not even know that I liked her. If I did any more, I would have asked for her hand in marrage. I spent month in a half writing a song for her. I wrote her a letter and left flowers on her doorstep. I gave her most of my time. I know where you're coming from Monkey but maybe I failed to mention how much I've done for her. She just always wanted and needed more and more and more from me. It gets to the point to where I just got tired of it. Now I don't want her because she wanted so much out of me and nothing I did was enough.

I'm not busy because I'm trying to "be a DJ". I am busy because I'm a constantly performing pianist who takes 18 hours of college with a job...but I can't spend 4 hours with a girl every single freakin' day, which is what she wanted!