When a chick tells u this.....

[bunjy]

Bunjy - if you have a fragile EGO and you really need to "show this girl" you aren't some guy she can 'string' along than go ahead and ignore her. But if you don't care about your EGO than DO NOT BURN THIS BRIDGE. Keep talking to her but make sure your trying different angles all the while -- what kind of text game do you run? Are you the average Joe who just simply asks questions or are you good at bridging old conversations you had where you both were having a good time? When do you text her? Right after you receive her text, hours later to show your busy, or at about the same time lapse that she is texting you?

I understand your point and in some way feel that ignoring her would be counterproductive BUT to be honest my txt game has ran its course. As I said we've been txting for 3 weeks, generally long txt convos throughout the day. Some days she would txt me 20 times or more (obv I was responding likewise). The banter between us via text seemed to be very good, she was responsive and was sending out positive vibes via the tone of her txts. Generally she was making me think that she was enjoying our txting and this lead me to think that if I can elicit this good a response via txting then in person I would be able to charm my way right into her pants. This was why I pushed her for dates.

My text game is pretty decent really, I use plenty of flirty teasing, bring up subjects we have talked about, bridge this to other subjects we have talked about (always in a flirty way), throw the odd subtle compliment, even neg nit her, never too serious always playful often funny and charming. I NEVER txt back straight away even if she does and usually keep a longer timeframe between her txting me and me txting her back. She would always txt me back and Ive never had anything other than a good response from her.

To me all the above factors have led me to conclude that this chick is infact an AW. Why else would she not want to date me after what has basically been a continous 3 week long rolling txt conversation in which she seemed to be enjoying herself.

I may have ****ed up by pressing for her too meet me, and I think sometimes my txts may have been too long and too ethusiastic.

In Short: We texted a lot over a period of 3 weeks, she was very responsive to my game, which led me to assume she would naturally want to meet. I acted on this and attempted to ask her on another date (already went on 2 which both went well), she declined and made up excuses.

I would take up your advice but to be honest Ive used the best in my txt game arsenal now and cant really be bothered with the wasted time and effort as she is obviously not gonna agree to meet.

 

[bunjy]

So this chick has just txted me. How ****ing predictable, haha. Shes asking me the usual nonsense e.g. 'how am i etc'.

Just 24 hours after I called her out on not meeting me shes txting me again!!!

Women hey.

 

[Nutz]

So this chick has just txted me. How ****ing predictable, haha. Shes asking me the usual nonsense e.g. 'how am i etc'.

Just 24 hours after I called her out on not meeting me shes txting me again!!!

Women hey.

Just don't respond to her. Let her hang and wonder why you're not texting. IF she's interested she'll reach out to you. Best thing to do is like I said before and let her sweat for a few days. Then text her back how you've been busy, got her texts, etc. Don't get caught up in her drama. Rise above it by ignoring her, then seed something where you'll hang out face to face.

 

[bunjy]

Just don't respond to her. Let her hang and wonder why you're not texting. IF she's interested she'll reach out to you. Best thing to do is like I said before and let her sweat for a few days. Then text her back how you've been busy, got her texts, etc. Don't get caught up in her drama. Rise above it by ignoring her, then seed something where you'll hang out face to face.

Yeah I figure this is probably the best thing to do, to be honest Ive lost a lot of interest in this chick anyway now and dont really know if I can even be bothered with all her BS and what it entails.

On the other hand though, Im thinking maybe if she is still interested it would be worth not deleting her number, nexting her etc. She was a hard chick to game from day 1 and the amount of effort I had to put in to get to this stage was difficult and time consuming (shes probably the hottest chick Ive ever gamed hence the difficulty). I realised I ****ed up by getting impatient and carried away but now thanks to some great advice on here and me pulling back and checking myself I feel as if either way im not really bothered what goes on.

I do genuinely feel largely indifferent towards the situation now.

 

[kokane]

Listen dude. Raw advice. Tell her that you dont like texting and that you wont do it only for her and that she should respect your views too. Tell her you are tired of texting. And give her a deadline, say a date on which she should meet you no matter what. And then completely ignore her texts. Dont change the date for her no matter what bs she states. If she flakes you she wasnt worth it and was never gonna come back anyway. Was just using you. Be happy. Enjoy and cherish that you walked away from that disaster unscathed. If she doesnt flake and shows up, well, you got the ball in your court. Time to tighten your horses and run the game.

 

[Igetit!]

On the other hand though, Im thinking maybe she is still interested.

WHAT???

You mean after ALL the games,ALL wild-goose chases,ALL the flaking and last minute mind changes this girl has put you through,(and is currently putting you through),after ALL THAT,you still think she's interested?

Wow.

I'm curious. Tell me...

Just how long do you plan on playing this "cat and mouse" game with her?

Alright,I'm going to break from ranks here.

Nutz,DJDamage,PHAT Rabbit,guys,I'm going to go against the advice you guys have given Bunjy.

Bunjy,I think you should continue communicating with this girl via text. If she asks you how you're doing,fine,answer her,then ask her how she's doing.

I see no problem with this. One thing though...

DO NOT say anything about you two meeting up.
Don't say ANYTHING about the two of you getting together and hanging out,and DON'T SAY ANYTHING about any behavior of hers you have a problem with.

Don't initiate the text conversations,but if she text you first,then go ahead and talk with her.

Now that that's settled...PURSUE OTHER GIRLS.

Meet other women and date them. Meet a girl,go out,laugh,talk,have fun,enjoy each other's company.

Then at the end of the night,if you're at home just sitting down taking it easy and this girl texts you,asking you how you are and what you've been up to,TELL HER.

Tell her that you're doing ok. If she ask what you've been up to,tell her you just got back from your date,you had a good time,and you're thinking about asking her out again.

You are a man. YOU are in control of your dating life.

This girl who keeps texting you,she's in control of hers.

If she wants to regulate HER DATING LIFE to text messaging ONLY,then so be it. Let her.

But don't allow her to control the way YOU date.

Go ahead and keep trading text with her...if you want,but date other girls.

I bet you when she finds out you're seeing other girls,THEN she'll get off the text messaging to real life if she has any sort of interest in you.




Edit:Hey!!!!!! This is my 1,000th post!

Took me a year,but I finally reached 4 digits.

Sweeeet!!!

 

[bunjy]

WHAT???

You mean after ALL the games,ALL wild-goose chases,ALL the flaking and last minute mind changes this girl has put you through,(and is currently putting you through),after ALL THAT,you still think she's interested?

Wow.

I'm curious. Tell me...

Just how long do you plan on playing this "cat and mouse" game with her?

Yes, your completely right. I totally agree with everything your saying. Shes taken me for a ride and played me out. Thanks for the perspective Ive needed when dealing with this chick.

I dont wanna play this cat and mouse game at all. I figure Ive had it with her now. No point in txting her, its rather boring and time consuming. Obviously if she was interested (and worth dating) she wouldnt have given me the run around, flaked and played these games with me.

On another note, just today I started gaming this chick Ive not seen in a while. Bumped into her in town and she was telling me how shes single now. Told her id send her a message on fb (aint got her number but will work from fb for that).

Your advice is great and has been really appreciated, cheers.

 

[bunjy]

Well if this is the second time this has happened to you,you need to check YOURSELF.

When a guy first approaches a girl,she doesn't know him,doesn't know anything about him. So it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY she started off being an AW with you. Something about you,either something you did or said cause her to "turn" AW towards you.

Yes, im aware of this. To be honest Ive not really had to deal with a full blown AW before. So am curious as to how I would of 'turned' her to AW towards me?? Being too eager, showing too much attention??

 

[Igetit!]

Obviously if she was interested (and worth dating) she wouldnt have given me the run around, flaked and played these games with me.

Well,I'm glad if you indeed are finally starting to "see the light",and have decided to stop wasting your time with this girl.
That's good,however,I don't think you quite "get it" just yet.

This girl wasn't the problem here.

Your behavior was.

All her behavior did was show you areas within yourself that you need to fix.

My honest opinion is that when a guy first approaches a girl,she's at least somewhat open to him. Then as time passes by,then things he does,or doesn't do either make her more receptive to him or make her lose interest.

You said that if she were interested in you,then she wouldn't have flaked on you and given you the run-a-round. That's true,however,I believe that reason she started all these games was because something you did or said caused her to lose interest in you sexually,but as far as her ego goes,having a guy,any guy,showing her attention makes her feel desired and wanted...even if she doesn't like the guy.

You said this was the "second time in a row" this has happened to you.

Another thing I noticed was that you seemed to do EXACTLY THE SAME THING with the new girl as you did with this "texting" girl. You got her facebook. Well,why didn't you ask for her number? With the last girl,you got stuck on texting. Now I know that you don't want to get stuck on Facebook with this new girl,do you?

We don't want to log back onto the forum a week from now only to see you have a new thread about how you can't get this girl off of Facebook into a real date with you.

I only bring this up because you said that this has happened to you two times in a row.

Don't make it three.

Something within your game needs to change. I DON'T KNOW what it is. In order to find out,you'd need to give a DETAILED ACCOUNT,(and I mean DETAILED) of one or both of the interactions with the other girls. But that'd take a lot of time to do. Therefore...

Check YOURSELF. If you fine any AFC weeds in your garden,pull 'em out.

Trust me dude,the LAST thing you want to do is waste time dealing with the same thing over and over again only to find out 5 years later that it was something easily correctable.

On another note, just today I started gaming this chick Ive not seen in a while. Bumped into her in town and she was telling me how shes single now.

She told you she was single. Hmm. Sounds like an IOI to me.

Don't get stuck on FB dude. It's ok to chat by FB,but DON'T fulfill her emotionally. Otherwise,she'll have no need to meet up with you. She'll just get her emotional needs met by your comments to her instread of being in person with you. Avoid that trap,and you should be ok.

 

[bunjy]

Check YOURSELF. If you fine any AFC weeds in your garden,pull 'em out.

Trust me dude,the LAST thing you want to do is waste time dealing with the same thing over and over again only to find out 5 years later that it was something easily correctable.

I think I can identify what my problems are. With this AW chick it went like this (and indeed with the previous chick it was somewhat similar):

I met her through friends/ in a bar.
Get her number.
Establish rapport (txting or calling) and game her abit via txt.
Ask her out.
Go on date, use plenty of C+F and generally handle it well (I usually have no problem dating chicks and my game is half decent).
They txt me and I txt them after date.

Now here is were I think my problem is:

At this point If I like them I start to somewhat 'lose' my gaming skills and end up being too eager or enthusiastic to go out again.
It ends with them giving me the brush off.

I think my main problem is that after going on a date or two, if it went well (which it usually does), they show initial post date interest and me rather than playing it cool and taking my time to game them, I tend to give them too much attention and show far too much interest in them which ultimately makes me come across as desperate.

I think this is what i need to focus on, the post date rapport and banter. I have no problem getting girls numbers, establishing rapport and getting a date. Also the date nearly always goes well and I usually elicit a positive response from them. Im confident that this part of my game is tight.

Its the period after when I start to balls up by losing my cool and showing too much interest/not being enough of a challenge. This is what I need to work on. Once hot girl tends to show me a degree of interest I get carried away and ultimately turn them off.

 

[bunjy]

She told you she was single. Hmm. Sounds like an IOI to me.

Don't get stuck on FB dude. It's ok to chat by FB,but DON'T fulfill her emotionally. Otherwise,she'll have no need to meet up with you. She'll just get her emotional needs met by your comments to her instread of being in person with you. Avoid that trap,and you should be ok.

Yeah she casually mentioned she was single now. Its a chick I have know vaguely through a female friend for a while. Ive had her as a friend on fb for a while but never messaged or chatted to her. I spoke to her today for 10 mins in town when we bumped into each other then she said she had to get back to work. At this point I told her id message her on fb to which she responded 'yeah ok do that'. I figure I should be able to get her phone number after a little fb rapport.

 

[Igetit!]

To be honest Ive not really had to deal with a full blown AW before. So am curious as to how I would of 'turned' her to AW towards me?? Being too eager, showing too much attention??

Yeah,overeagerness and showing her too much attention will cause a woman who was initially attracted to you to lose that attraction and go AW on you.

One of the main ways this happens is by putting a woman on a pedistal.

It feels good to be put on a pedistal,but just because you make a woman feel good doesn't mean you make her feel attraction.

When you put a woman on a pedistal,you simultaneously lower yourself in her eyes. The thing is though,because she's laughing or smiling as a result of you boosting her ego,you get deceived. You think the smiling and laughing is because she's attracted to you. It's not. What you did would be the equivalent of someone getting a promotion or special recognition on a job.
It feels good to have the spotlight on you and be elevated,but it has NOTHING TO DO with sexual attraction.

If you tell a women she's hot,if you call her too much,if you try to win her over by doing things or giving her things,she'll feel special/promoted in YOUR eyes,but that's it.

There's nothing sexual there.

This is why ****y funny is so effective. The attention is on YOU,the focus is on YOU. You're the only one being elevated. And when you're raised or elevated,people HAVE NO CHOICE but to look up at you.
And women are attracted to men who superior to them,to men they have to look up to.

I think your self-diagnosis was pretty accurate.

Just make sure that WHENEVER you interact with a girl who you're interested in,that YOU ARE THE ONE somehow being elevated,not her.

Don't go too far with it though,you don't want to come off as bragging or being conceited.

 

[bunjy]

Update: Ok guys so ignored this chick for 24 hours. Would of liked to have gone longer but stupidly I went out for a few drinks with my friend and ended up txting her. Heres what went down.

The next night after she txt me saying the usual ('hey what u doing etc') I txted her back (24 hous later) saying something along the lines of 'hi, been busy how you doing'. Anyway 10 mins later she txt me saying 'am good thanks, just having a drink with a friend in the star (local pub) come and meet me if you want??'.

Then, 5 mins after that (after no response from me) she txted me again saying 'Ive had a really good day but really tired, are you coming??'

I txted her back 'Would do but am busy at the moment in the city, mite pop in on my way home'. I obv didnt go the bar to meet her and aint txted her since. Shes not responded.

Shes tried to get me to go meet her when shes been with friends before, not really sure why.

Anyway im obviously still ignoring her and not really too bothered about what happens, to be honest if I wasnt drunk I wouldnt of txted her (and regret doing it now).

What you guys think?? Her txts seemed keen for me to go and meet her pretty much as soon as I txt, but on the other hand she wanted me to come meet her when she was with friends, which obv im not gonna do. Shes tried to get me to come meet her when with friends at the bar a fair few times now, to which every time ive declined.

 

[909pua]

girls do alot of stupid **** tests to see how much you want them. just go up to her in person try to KINO..if that doesn't work, NEXT!

 

[Joe Stud]

at least you declined her invite now. let her stew for awhile. next time she invites you dont be afraid to go meet her & friends-it's not so bad. you can flirt with her hot(est) friend and demonstrate social value. dress up cool, and "doll" yourself up well. and dont fawn over her, be a dj

 

[bunjy]

Ok guys thought Id best tell you how this saga wrapped itself up, and plus I figure theres some decent examples of how NOT to behave with a stunning chick in this thread.

So after a couple of days of ignoring this chick she txts me asking me what im doing tonight. I tell her im out with my friends having a night out. She txts me back saying shes gonna be out in town later aswell so mite come and meet me for a drink later. I txt back 'ok'.

Later on she txts me asking were i am and I respond telling her. 30 mins later she shows up with her friend and comes over to our table. Now this is where the games got worse. She goes and sits on the side of table (next to my friend she knows) despite the fact there is a spare seat next to me. Then she basically acts like I wasnt really there (she knows my friends so chatted to them instead). She stays for one drink then leaves. No biggy, at this point I had decided I couldnt really be bothered with her anyway (as u know from reading the thread) and was sick of her 'cat and mouse' flakey games.

Anyway fast forward to a few hours later and she txts me again asking me if Im still in the same bar, I txt back saying yes. Sure enough, she shows up again, this time she chats to me for 10 mins or so before going to sit on the other side of the bar with her friend. As I said by this point my interest level was rock bottom and I couldnt be doing with what she was trying to do so I didnt bother speaking to her again for the rest of the evening.

The next day she txts me saying the usual 'how are you etc', I txt her back a pretty blunt txt bascially saying im fine.

It come to an end now, finally as shes stopped txting me and to be honest im glad this is all over.

This chick was probably one of the hottest if not the hottest girl Ive ever taken out but the unfortunate flip side was she was one of the biggest gameplayers/attention *****s Ive ever come across, I guess this is a common trait with stunning birds.

I figure I blew whatever chances I had in the early stages of meeting her by doing the following:

- After 2 succesfull dates, showing her too much attention (via txt).

- Making it too obvious I was interested (my general tone was that of being keen). Despite initially her somewhat 'chasing me' after 2 dates and two weeks of txting it appeared that I was chasing her.

- Following on from the above two mistakes, id say the biggest one was NOT BEING A CHALLENGE and BEING TO AVAILABLE FOR HER. By pusing her to meet me for another date I came across as being too available to meet her whenever she was free despite my best efforts to make myself appear busy.

- When it got to a point where it could have gone either way, rather than pulling back and playing cool I totally lost my cool and came across like a desperate fool.

In general I can play the game and have no problem getting chicks but once a stunning 10 came along and showed me interest any game I had went right out the window and I was largely reduced to a complete AFC. Putting her on a pedestal totally ruined my chances.

When I look back and think of how I behaved I feel p**sed off at myself for the simple reason that despite knowing how to play the game and generally being confident with chicks I allowed my game to go right out the window once a 10 came along.

Dont make the same mistakes as me guys.

P.S. Final note: I figure I can learn from these mistakes and have pretty much identified where I went wrong. Also I figure this chick was pretty dull and more interested in playing attention seeking games than actually having interests or a life (she wasnt a very interesting chick). Despite her looks I get the feeling that even if i had of played this right, she wouldnt have been much fun to date anyway. Live and learn hey.