When a chick tells u this.....

[bunjy]

Just to clarify, when a chick will not accept offers of dates (after being asked numerous times) and tells you shes 'really busy this week' as an excuse but also tells you shes not blowing you off (and continues to contact you daily) that means she actually IS blowing you off right?? Im almost 100% positive it does, just need to check. If she ignored me or was cold towards me id understand and get the hint but she continues to regularly txt me (and in a flirty way). I figure shes leading me on for whatever reason.

Bloody hell this is the second time in a row this has happened to me.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

You won't know until you know. Her saying she isn't blowing you off could be her blowing you off but not wanting you to think she's a *****. The alternative is that she cares about what you think and is worried that you'd think she wasn't interested, so she's trying to keep herself in the game.

 

[DJDamage]

A woman who has high interest in a man, will MAKE TIME TO SEE HIM even if she is "really busy".

The reason that she is texting you is because she likes the attention you are desperately giving her for free.

Stop answering her calls and texting and go find another girl. If there is one thing that may trigger her desires for you it would be this.

 

[scrouds]

I'm going to say it doesn't matter.

If a chick throws you off and says , can't do it then, and doesn't suggest a new time, then that's it. Whether she likes you or not, doesn't matter, it's just NOT WORTH THE TIME AND EFFORT.

Don't you have better things to do (hobbies, plates, etc) then sitting around throwing dates and times at a girl?

 

[bunjy]

You won't know until you know. Her saying she isn't blowing you off could be her blowing you off but not wanting you to think she's a *****.

Yeah this is what im thinking as we have mutual friends and to some extent move in the same social cirles so she might be just trying to be nice.

 

[bunjy]

Stop answering her calls and texting and go find another girl. If there is one thing that may trigger her desires for you it would be this.

Should I just completely ignore her?? If she txts me saying hi should I just not respond AT ALL or should send cold blunt messages.

I figure what you say abotu the attention is true. She obviously likes me txting her but not much more.

 

[bunjy]

Ok so heres what has happened today.

This chick txts me saying that she promises she isnt blowing me off but shes had and got a really busy two weeks.

I txt her saying 'you are blowing me off'

She txt back saying 'No im not'

I txt back saying 'Well let me take you out then'

NO REPLY

Stupidly I txted her back later on saying 'just thought it would be good if we could go out sometime thats all'.

NO REPLY

So have I ****ed it or what?? Starting to wonder if she was actually being geniune now and really was busy or had her reasons for not wanting to see me.

She's also flaked on me before and has generally been a difficult chick to game.

 

[kody_starr]

It sounds like it's going nowhere, but you need to lighten up and stop pressuing her to see you. If a girl demanded you see her, or kept pestering you to see her, would you suddenly feel an overwhelming desire to see her right away?

If it sounded like she was a cool person doing lots of fun things and you were formerly undecided, then that might tip the scales, no? Instead, you've got nothing planned and insist she see you, for some unspecified reason. That's going to bomb, period.

 

[Duffdog]

First off.. never burn a bridge regardless. You don't know what's going on in a woman's life... therefore just play the game without expectations. In other words, just because she's "stringing you along" doesn't mean to run off and get angry about it. Further, don't go trying to prove to her that you're wise to her actions... be emotionally unattached.

Onto your actual situation -- following the never burn a bridge concept... you need to show her you're a fun guy! Stop taking her 'not accepting your date' stance so seriously man... you're emotionally impacted by her action. Just be playful! Next time she texts you start hitting her with illogical, self-amusing statements. Lets use your situation as an example:

HB: Hey I'm not really blowing you off I've just been really busy the past 2 weeks.
bunjy: (2 ways to take this, either reframe like you were the busy one or just bypass the whole blowing off thing and go illogical) OMG I completely forgot we had plans and I totally bailed on you.. won't happen again -- I was actually working on a top secret case on how to create a thunderbolt using only yoohoo.

This is how you generate playful conversation -- if she isn't just stringing you along and wants to get to know you a little more than she'll respond. Your problem is you're being way to serious -- getting pissed at a girl who you don't even know. Do you know how that translates to a woman -- I mean if you act this way with a complete stranger what happens when you're dating her and something goes wrong? Always be playful my man... it's the way to success.

No offense, but I think your response is gay... it makes you seem like you are trying really hard to make her think that you are a really busy interesting guy when you weren't at all. I would see through it in a second.

Chics answer direct questions directly if they want the guy, end of story. No direct answer= No interest.

 

[kody_starr]

^^You're probably right but we're grasping at straws here in what is obviously a last gasp situation.

I really don't think texting is going to help you out at this point. You need to see her again in person and demonstrate some attractive qualities.

 

[bunjy]

I really don't think texting is going to help you out at this point. You need to see her again in person and demonstrate some attractive qualities.

Thats what Ive been attempting to do. Shes been txting me daily for 3 weeks (been out twice aswell, went well both times) and always tries to draw me into a txt conversation. Now as much as I dont mind txting and my txt game is pretty decent, I get kinda bored with it and would much rather actually converse in person with this chick.

Ive been fully aware that I need to see her again and pull of some charm for about a week now.

How would I go about this though?? No contact for awhile and see if she contacts me??

I get the feeling that she was interested but due to too much txting and me pushing to meet again shes losing interest rapidly.

 

[kody_starr]

Again, sorry for being so blunt, but you really need to have a group of girls you are texting/communicating with, and you are obviously focusing too much on this one girl.

Go out, meet some more girls. If you don't like cold approaching, join a class or group where you'll see people on a regular basis. ONLY join groups or classes you have a genuine interest in, or this effort will bomb.

I never or rarely see this, but there's little effort by people on this board to build an overall attractive lifestyle. It's always a search for a gambit or a technique or a line. Create an attractive lifestyle for YOU, then bring others into your orbit.

It's easier said than done, but still please stop obsessing over this girl, and build the life you want.

 

[bunjy]

Again, sorry for being so blunt, but you really need to have a group of girls you are texting/communicating with, and you are obviously focusing too much on this one girl.

Go out, meet some more girls. If you don't like cold approaching, join a class or group where you'll see people on a regular basis. ONLY join groups or classes you have a genuine interest in, or this effort will bomb.

I never or rarely see this, but there's little effort by people on this board to build an overall attractive lifestyle. It's always a search for a gambit or a technique or a line. Create an attractive lifestyle for YOU, then bring others into your orbit.

It's easier said than done, but still please stop obsessing over this girl, and build the life you want.

I totally understand and agree were your coming from. However, I pretty much do this. I have an array and chicks chasing me at any given time and am regularly gaming a few different chicks e.g. just yesterday I got this babes number and have began working on her. BUT the problem is that this particular chick (the one from my first post) is the only one I am really interested in. I rarely find a chick I am interested in and actually get along with/ have good rapport with, most of the time, I game a chick get them, get p**sy then get bored and have to bin them.

But this one.....

 

[Nutz]

Thats what Ive been attempting to do. Shes been txting me daily for 3 weeks (been out twice aswell, went well both times) and always tries to draw me into a txt conversation. Now as much as I dont mind txting and my txt game is pretty decent, I get kinda bored with it and would much rather actually converse in person with this chick.

Ive been fully aware that I need to see her again and pull of some charm for about a week now.

How would I go about this though?? No contact for awhile and see if she contacts me??

I get the feeling that she was interested but due to too much txting and me pushing to meet again shes losing interest rapidly.

See she's got you right where she wants you. This is why you don't carry on conversations via text or even over the phone. They're useful tools, but only as interest feelers and for setting up logistics. Beyond that you should be communicating face to face. Hell, you can even say as much.

HB: text text text
You: dead air
HB: text text blah blah
You: (next day) Hey, got your text. Been busy. To be honest I'm not a fan of texting. Drop me a line when you're free and we'll do something fun.

You cut off the validation faucet of giving her attention via text and it puts the ball squarely in her court. IF she's actually interested she'll get in touch. Should cut down on the flake rate significantly as the only women that will work to get in touch will be the ones properly invested enough to not flake. In short it's a form of screening them for interest.

 

[bunjy]

See she's got you right where she wants you. This is why you don't carry on conversations via text or even over the phone. They're useful tools, but only as interest feelers and for setting up logistics. Beyond that you should be communicating face to face. Hell, you can even say as much.

HB: text text text
You: dead air
HB: text text blah blah
You: (next day) Hey, got your text. Been busy. To be honest I'm not a fan of texting. Drop me a line when you're free and we'll do something fun.

Ive pretty much already said this too her (5 days ago). I basically told her id much rather chat in person than by txt so let me know when ur free to meet. She responded with 'whats wrong with txting', to which I repeated the above. This is what has largely led to the situation in which I have been asking her to meet (because im sick of just txting) and she has declined.

I suppose its upto her to contact me now really

 

[Igetit!]

Just to clarify, when a chick will not accept offers of dates (after being asked numerous times) and tells you shes 'really busy this week' as an excuse but also tells you shes not blowing you off (and continues to contact you daily) that means she actually IS blowing you off right?? Im almost 100% positive it does, just need to check. If she ignored me or was cold towards me id understand and get the hint but she continues to regularly txt me (and in a flirty way). I figure shes leading me on for whatever reason.

What's going on here is quite simple.
She's an AW,just like DJDamage said.

Women are emotional.

Men are physical.

For her to get herself all "prettied" up doing her hair,make up,nails,perfume,etc,all these things are physical,which would be be a benefit to you.

All the talking,texting,and communication by phone and text messaging are all emotional,with is a benefit to her.

If she's getting her emotional charge/needs met simply by talking to you over the phone or texting,then why would she need to meet up with you in person?

What for?

All you two would do if you did meet up is just talk more,right?

So if you two are talking now via text,and you two meet up somewhere,you'll just continue talking. So to her,it's the same either way. The only difference is that if she meets up with you,she'll have to put in the time and effort in to getting herself ready for a date. The way it is now,she can just lay around her house with no make-up,uncombed hair,etc and still get her attention WH0RE fix simply by texting you.

She wouldn't keep texting you if she weren't getting anything out of it.

Bloody hell this is the second time in a row this has happened to me.

Well if this is the second time this has happened to you,you need to check YOURSELF.

When a guy first approaches a girl,she doesn't know him,doesn't know anything about him. So it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY she started off being an AW with you. Something about you,either something you did or said cause her to "turn" AW towards you.

And if she's an AW with you,that means sexually,she ain't interested.

She just going to continue getting attention from you until she gets bored of you,or until a guy who she is attracted to comes along,then she'll put you to the side.

Best thing to do in this situation is follow DJDamage's advice.

 

[bunjy]

^^^^^ this seems to have hit the nail on the head. Im aware that this chick is quite possibly an AW and have been aware that she seems content with simply txting and nothing else. The question I have now is how do I go about dealing with this?? I think she obviously has some interest in me but i really cant be bothered with this 'just txting' crap. Should I just ignore her or act distant and cold in my txt responses??

Update: She txt me 2nite saying that she really doesnt want to blow me off and that 'we get on' and that she hasnt meant to be 'swerving' (putting to one side) me. Then she went on with all this shes got alot on her mind at the moment and how her friend is going through a really bad patch and shes hasnt even had time to go see her etc. Now I know this is BS since if she was really interested she would make time to see me.

I txted her back saying no problem being all cool and that. I just dunno how to deal with whats gonna happen next, shes obv gonna keep txting me but i cant really be bothered in a purely txt relationship with her yet at the same time I dont wanna just ignore her. I also realise that probably nothing will come of all this and shes just keeping me on the side for attention.

 

[DJDamage]

I txted her back saying no problem being all cool and that. I just dunno how to deal with whats gonna happen next, shes obv gonna keep txting me but i cant really be bothered in a purely txt relationship with her yet at the same time I dont wanna just ignore her. I also realise that probably nothing will come of all this and shes just keeping me on the side for attention.

If you don't want to ignore her, then she will continue to play this game on you and you will have nobody but yourself to blame. Don't even text message her about this like you did before, because you are just showing her your despression and drama in which this AW finds so irresistible. This girl will just continue to dangle the carrot in front of you. See picture below:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ntenny/2956072015/ (in case you haven't figured this out, she is the woman dangling the carrot to make the Ass go where she wants to go, believing he will soon get the carrot but he wont. You are that Ass)

Face it, you have a weak game and you are hanging onto this girl for dear life. Its time to let go of this AW and ignore her texting or phone calls. You should have deleted her number as soon as she said no to you and gave you the run around.

 

[nismo-4]

She's an attention wh0re!

She's blowing you off. If she had an iota of interest, she'd make time to see you even if she was busy.

But she's just not that into you.

 

[bunjy]

Face it, you have a weak game and you are hanging onto this girl for dear life. Its time to let go of this AW and ignore her texting or phone calls. You should have deleted her number as soon as she said no to you and gave you the run around.

Yeah your right. I realise now that the major mistake I made with this broad was txting her too much and showing her too much attention in the first place, she did seem to genuinely like me but me showing her too much attention (and pushing for dates) has caused her interest level to drop. This was definetley the sorta chick who I should of been 'too busy' for from the start really.

Im gonna just ignore her now and to be honest Im not really that bothered anymore.

I realise the mistakes Ive made and will in future concentrate on not making them again. Thanks for all the advice.