When a chick asks, "What do you do?"

[dipset_mafia]

READ THIS!

WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! ?! ?!

I might come off as angry, and its because none of you GET IT! (okay, well some of you do get it)

MAKING A JOKE ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION is an EXCELLENT way to establish a ****y/funny form of conversation that keeps her guessing, and keeps you in control of the answers! WHO THE F*CK CARES WHAT SHE THINKS - WHETHER OR NOT YOUR TRYING TO IMPRESS HER!!! Because YOU AREN'T trying to impress her, and thats the friggin point!!!!

the point of making up something ridiculous is a JOKE - SO STOP FRIGGIN ANALYZING THE SH!T SO FU(K!ING MUCH!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in Criminology....

Sometimes I tell my prospective females that my major is a joint major between Criminology and Astronomy... and that my goal in life is to become a Space Cop.... or sometimes I just tell them Im in school to be come an astronaught... I make up a BS major like... astronomy+spacial molecular chemistry... they eat it up.. I once had some chick in bioscience ( a pre-med ) tell me shes never met someone on her level... (i laughed my ass off infront of her, it was awesome)

tell your friends

 

[VSIDEBOY]

Re: READ THIS!

Well I think that I've been quiet long enough and its my turn to join in the fun!

Originally posted by dipset_mafia
MAKING A JOKE ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION is an EXCELLENT way to establish a ****y/funny form of conversation that keeps her guessing, and keeps you in control of the answers!

I totally agree with you mate.

I use the 'Burger King' one all the time, starting off with the 'Employee of the Month' bit, going onto how I started cleaning and now I've progressed onto serving in the drive-thru (always looking and sounding like I'm getting heaps of job satisfaction and I love working there!)

The chics sometimes look a bit non-believing, so I rolled on with how I'd got a badge to wear for the 'EotM' thing AND got my picture on the wall. One girl once then leapt up off her stool and said:-

'No they don't do that at Burger King, thats at Mcdonalds!!!?!? YOU DON'T REALLY WORK THERE DO YOU?'

I was 250miles from home at that point so I replied, totally calmly:

'What? Mcdonalds down here have started copying now have they! We've been doing that for ages up north!'

I then changed the conversation, but this girl wouldn't let it lie, she ended up going and asking my friend about 5 minutes later, (Unfortunately I hadn't told him the game and to play along, so he told her what I really did - Cheers Buddy!) she then came back looking all smug that she'd sussed me out, so I teased her about something to knock her back down again. haha!

Don't ya just love it!

At the end of the day guys, we all know it doesn't really matter what you say. As long as YOU are enjoying yourself, say whatever pops into your head at the time.

 

[Sapiens]

I have used these.......

"I sell Ice and Refrigerators to Eskimos."; "I sell corn to farmers."; "I sell petroleum to Saudis"; "I am an unemployed janitor at the crackhouse of 5th and 3rd"; " I sell ladies shoes."; "Head of manufacturing at a sperm bank".......

-Sapiens

 

[manuva]

Re: I have used these.......

Originally posted by Sapiens
"I sell Ice and Refrigerators to Eskimos."; "I sell corn to farmers."; "I sell petroleum to Saudis"; "I am an unemployed janitor at the crackhouse of 5th and 3rd"; " I sell ladies shoes."; "Head of manufacturing at a sperm bank".......

-Sapiens

Awesome. Thats what I was after hehe.

I bet you really get of on these jokes... You might think its funny, but a prospective chick would red flag you almost instantly...

No, they don't. I have a lot of fun with them. I use at least one of those 'occupations' every time a girl asks me. It's always hilarious to see their response.

MacDiddy: I don't think "I sit in the park and watch small children" is gonna work.

You don't think?

You say I should go and test these responses (as if I haven't used each one fifty times at least) and then you tell what you don't think would work?

You're the one who should be testing stuff out before posting.

 

[dipset_mafia]

....

....

 

[JaguarMike]

ditto

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Oh yeah, the "whaddya-do" line....

My stock reply has been 'I'm the guy that designs parking lot lines'. That's usually followed by her saying something irrelevant, and I'll typically throw in the 'somebody's got to do it' line. All of this said with a PERFECTLY STRAIGHT FACE. There have been times when the girl (depending on her blonde factor) is on the verge of believing it.......tooo f()cking funny.....

 

[n00bPimp]

I like "I'm a professional wrestler".
However this is funnier when you dont actually look like one.

 

[manuva]

Hehe nice. Now we're getting somewhere.

 

[MacDiddy]

manuva dude, if you said "I sit in the park and watch small children"

I'd be inclined to believe you..

 

[Wiesman44]

I give credit to the Mystery Method on this one:

her: what do u do ?
you: Literally, figuratively, or philosophically ?......I seduce beautiful women. i'm what they call a ladies man.

her: It ain't workin' on me
you: well ma'am, you're no lady...... or.......You dont think i'd actually say that to a woman i'm interested in, would u ?

 

[manuva]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
manuva dude, if you said "I sit in the park and watch small children"

I'd be inclined to believe you..

Mate, if I was ever in a situation where I felt the desire to run game on you, I'd believe it too.

 

[manuva]

double

 

[SamePendo]

-Exotic dancer
-Leaf distributing plant *Wtf? Why would someone need leafs?!*
-Manager of *latest bubble gum group, artist*. And then you proceed to tell her how this "artist" is so great/bad, and your history with famous *****es/man*****s.
-Wanna be rapper/average singer.
-Climb buildings
-Trapecist
-You are the guy underneath the mascot of a famous team in your area.
-Proffessional nailer. You talk about your job, how you go to houses and nail talk and talk about nailing making it sound as if you ****ed here and there haha. They don't want to be rude so they don't laugh or anything.

 

[boulepiquante]

thanx for the funny suggestions

brill and funny answers to that boring question
funny humorous post
thanx for the suggestions we need more posts like this one !!!!
bp
suid afrika

 

[The Juan and only]

"I'm an unlicensed gynecologist. You need an exam....baby?"

:crackup:

 

[Frog X]

Haha I have the BEST reply for this, i got it off dad.

Basically when she says what do you do, I lean in, kind of hush my voice a little, and make out like its a secret, look around and stuff, tell her to keep it on the down low...

Well, you know pot holes, like the ones in the road? Yeah well, me and a my business associate, we go out during the night and we dig them in the road. Then, the next day we ring the council, tell them about the holes, then we go and fix it, then we get paid.

You cant tell anyone, cause I could get in a alot of trouble for this.

HAHA. One chick said OMG THATS WHERE THEY COME FROM!

I cant emphasise enough how important it is to have a serious face the whole time.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Such a classic question. Pretty much a girl's way of directly gauging your value. They've gotten pretty tricky out there in Los Angeles, Asian Playboy made a pretty good point when we were out there. Girl's kept asking me where I lived and they would ask me what I paid for rent. Pretty smart tactic, because it's a roundabout way of asking how much money I made.

Obviously there's a direct correlation between money and where you live, never really thought about it.

Anyways, when it comes to pick up, I won't name names, but there are guys out there that will deviate from the truth just to work the pick up. Plenty of my natural friends will say their producers, directors, etc etc. It's a little sad and a little shallow, but on the same token, I think it's pretty sad and shallow that a girl will gauge a guys value based off his wallet.

-Kevin

 

[Kevin Feng]

Such a classic question. Pretty much a girl's way of directly gauging your value. They've gotten pretty tricky out there in Los Angeles, Asian Playboy made a pretty good point when we were out there. Girl's kept asking me where I lived and they would ask me what I paid for rent. Pretty smart tactic, because it's a roundabout way of asking how much money I made.

Obviously there's a direct correlation between money and where you live, never really thought about it.

Anyways, when it comes to pick up, I won't name names, but there are guys out there that will deviate from the truth just to work the pick up. Plenty of my natural friends will say their producers, directors, etc etc. It's a little sad and a little shallow, but on the same token, I think it's pretty sad and shallow that a girl will gauge a guys value based off his wallet.

-Kevin

 

[Get-With-It]

Lol, here's a good one.

"I'm out here on my grind in the mean streets of (insert good/safe city), trying to be the greatest rapper ever. Next stop: 106&park!"

Yeah, basically stupid stuff like that.