What's the play here? IG cold DM

[FinallyAlpha]

This has good potential.

• Was swiping Tinder this morning in bed.
• HB7 (20) has IG on Tinder bio
• I cross to IG, follow her, and cold DM her
• Conversation so far:
• m: Hey! I saw you on Tinder. I also live in [...]. Do you like to dance? Or do karaoke? We can go together some time.
• h: (almost immediately) Hey, [my name]! I don't speak English. Is it a problem for you?
• m: (almost immediately) (in Spanish) Good morning [her name]. No, that's not a problem for me. But I don't speak Portuguese. Do you understand Spanish? Where are you from?
• h: (few minutes) I don't speak Spanish but I understand it better than English. I am from [...] but I have been in [...] for a year and a half. And you?
• m: ah good. You will teach me Portuguese and I will teach you English. I am from [...]. I have been here for two months.
• h: Yes, I can. I am not a good teacher, but I will try (emojis)
• h: Are you enjoying it?
• m: Yes but I want to meet more friends for the weekends. This weekend me and you can go for a coffee? Practise languages and explore the city.
• m: (immediate follow-up) I am going to work now. But... It's a pleasure to meet you and see you later! (kiss emoji)
• h: Yes, of course! I am free on Sunday. What do you think about going out on that day?
• h: I hope work goes well. Me too, it's a pleasure to meet you, [my name]!

Hit me with some strong advice for next steps to maximize this spot!

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Afternoon date booked for Sunday. Meeting at a park. My plan is to bring her to a café with a great lookout, get ice cream, watch the sunset, then suggest cinema in the evening.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

She messaged me last night with: "I don't want to meet. We're looking for different things."

@Pedrito0906 ok. Can you elaborate?

 

[RazorRambo24]

Sounds like it didnt work out man. Idk why you said you were looking for "more friends for the weekends". weird thing to say.. anyways dont think about it too much.. just move on

 

[Dr.Suave]

You are coming off too thirsty, available, and vague. I recommend you start triple booking girls.

Lets say theres a concert you want to go. Its only available certain day and time (It doesnt have to be a concert specifically, but I think it being available only one specific day will help you, you are being too available for this girls) . You buy a couple of tickets and invite three girls. If none of them cancel, you go out with the hottest one and flake the other girls.

At least try it. This worked really great for me last time I was single. Try it and if you dont like it we can try different things.

Also, enjoy the concert or whatever activity it ends up being. If you also hit it off with the girl, that´s just a bonus.

 

[jaymbrs]

She's an attention ***** and you gave her a quick hit of dopamine. You’ve served your purpose for her.

 

[devilkingx2]

This has good potential.

• Was swiping Tinder this morning in bed.
• HB7 (20) has IG on Tinder bio
• I cross to IG, follow her, and cold DM her
• Conversation so far:
• m: Hey! I saw you on Tinder. I also live in [...]. Do you like to dance? Or do karaoke? We can go together some time.
• h: (almost immediately) Hey, [my name]! I don't speak English. Is it a problem for you?
• m: (almost immediately) (in Spanish) Good morning [her name]. No, that's not a problem for me. But I don't speak Portuguese. Do you understand Spanish? Where are you from?
• h: (few minutes) I don't speak Spanish but I understand it better than English. I am from [...] but I have been in [...] for a year and a half. And you?
• m: ah good. You will teach me Portuguese and I will teach you English. I am from [...]. I have been here for two months.
• h: Yes, I can. I am not a good teacher, but I will try (emojis)
• h: Are you enjoying it?
• m: Yes but I want to meet more friends for the weekends. This weekend me and you can go for a coffee? Practise languages and explore the city.
• m: (immediate follow-up) I am going to work now. But... It's a pleasure to meet you and see you later! (kiss emoji)
• h: Yes, of course! I am free on Sunday. What do you think about going out on that day?
• h: I hope work goes well. Me too, it's a pleasure to meet you, [my name]!

Hit me with some strong advice for next steps to maximize this spot!

I'd say you asked her out too fast if she didn't match with you. You don't know anything about her and vice versa.

She messaged me last night with: "I don't want to meet. We're looking for different things."

@Pedrito0906 ok. Can you elaborate?

That's one of the many things women say when they think you're broke or ugly.

Unless she read into your use of the word friends as meaning you only want FWB.

 

[Stanley]

Do guys actually slide into girls dm's off tinder lol? You know they post their ig's just to get more followers and attention right? Don't waste your time on attention hoes

 

[TheManMasenko]

You need to stop talking to my pool of women old head and start talking to your 25+.

 

[Ricky]

Sounds like it didnt work out man. Idk why you said you were looking for "more friends for the weekends". weird thing to say.. anyways dont think about it too much.. just move on

I am not sure. It used to be good to tell a woman that you are looking for friends because it made you look less thirsty

 

[FinallyAlpha]

My main takeaway here is that the "friends for the weekends" line was not the best move.

And, various points taken on her just wanting attention (like all women who have their IG handle on OLD). But you have not convinced me that the practice of cold DM'ing them on IG from OLD is BS. I've had glimpses of success with it in the past. It's a form of shooting a shot, no? You either hit or miss. Numbers game.

 

[jaymbrs]

My main takeaway here is that the "friends for the weekends" line was not the best move.

And, various points taken on her just wanting attention (like all women who have their IG handle on OLD). But you have not convinced me that the practice of cold DM'ing them on IG from OLD is BS. I've had glimpses of success with it in the past. It's a form of shooting a shot, no? You either hit or miss. Numbers game.

Let us know when you succeed.

 

[RazorRambo24]

My main takeaway here is that the "friends for the weekends" line was not the best move.

And, various points taken on her just wanting attention (like all women who have their IG handle on OLD). But you have not convinced me that the practice of cold DM'ing them on IG from OLD is BS. I've had glimpses of success with it in the past. It's a form of shooting a shot, no? You either hit or miss. Numbers game.

Well it should be A takeaway.. But the main takeaway is this:

What you did wrong was make yourself look like a nice guy, a friendly type. With women, NEVER make yourself seem like "friendly". Its a big turnoff.. because you put yourself in the pool of many of her beta orbiters that she would never even hang out with unless maybe something bad happened like she lost both of her legs and no one else would accept her.

on Tinder and in general you gotta say sht like this "I'm taking you out to eat, somewhere special, then I figured maybe I can eat you out after. " *(this is just a quick example. of the tone, dont need to necessarily say it like this).. <-- You also dont lead with this if you're not sure what type of girl it is. 9/10 time if shes attractive on TInder, frame sexually but first start by sayin something funny, witty, clever, and letting her know you're a normal guy and not crazy.

Second Takeaway: Don't meet at a park . Meet somewhere with some food and alcohol. To her this suggests the chances for more and chances to be taken home. and never send kissy faces as a man. thats weird

Last and Final Takeaway: Attractive women on Tinder, once they're on Tinder they're looking at different options of who to hang with. They first look at the most clever messages/best openers.. then click on the profile, and then slowly start disqualifying some to be able to choose like out of 3 diff people. The guy whos the most handsome/coolest/seems normal and sociable and sexually available will win her attention. She might have considered you for a second, but you gave her too much that made you seem too friendly.. which puts you at the bottom of the pool alot of times. especially if you're not hot.

If a girl is responding to you on Tinder, theres a high likelihood shes willing to have sex with you, unless you give off free dinner type vibes. If you ruin that chance by being too friendly, thats tough.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

9/10 time if shes attractive on TInder, frame sexually but first start by sayin something funny, witty, clever, and letting her know you're a normal guy and not crazy.

ok. I'll follow your advice.

I have a fresh Tinder match from today. I'm trying to think of an opener.

Her bio is: "Model, photographer. Nice people are welcome. Don't ask me my Instagram, make worth it." (Her typo, not mine.)

Any ideas?

Edit 1: some more info from her profile: she's multilingual and has tagged 18 different 'Basics', 'Lifestyle' and 'My Interests'. The usual stuff like 'big time texter', 'vegetarian', 'off the grid', 'early bird', Netflix, poetry, cooking, podcasts, mindfulness etc. etc.

Edit 2: ok here's my idea and it's what I'll go with absent any other good advice: "Hey, awesome that you're interested in the creative arts. I would love to take photography and videography up as a hobby myself one day. Do you enjoy your work?"

 

[BillyPilgrim]

ok. I'll follow your advice.

I have a fresh Tinder match from today. I'm trying to think of an opener.

Her bio is: "Model, photographer. Nice people are welcome. Don't ask me my Instagram, make worth it." (Her typo, not mine.)

Any ideas?

Edit 1: some more info from her profile: she's multilingual and has tagged 18 different 'Basics', 'Lifestyle' and 'My Interests'. The usual stuff like 'big time texter', 'vegetarian', 'off the grid', 'early bird', Netflix, poetry, cooking, podcasts, mindfulness etc. etc.

Edit 2: ok here's my idea and it's what I'll go with absent any other good advice: "Hey, awesome that you're interested in the creative arts. I would love to take photography and videography up as a hobby myself one day. Do you enjoy your work?"

I wouldn't say she's the best prospect, but you matched so might as well shoot a good shot. Your opener might be good for EHarmony, but this is Tinder so it's kinda lame. Say you're cooking and trying out a new recipe, ask her a quick tip or ask what's a good wine pairing. Whatever you do, make it short, casual, and easily understood. This isn't the best opener, ideally you want something more c0cky/funny and but this girl seems a little on the frosty side. Neutral openers can work too because you can weed out attention and validation 304's. But something formal, bland, and complimentary, like your opener, is not what you want. As @RazorRambo24 said, you don't want to be "friendly" on Tinder.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds like it didnt work out man. Idk why you said you were looking for "more friends for the weekends". weird thing to say.. anyways dont think about it too much.. just move on

That was really weird and also really pointless to even bring this up. What purpose did it serve? It could only have a negative effect, there was nothing to be gained from OP saying this.

 

[devilkingx2]

I've heard that psychologically if you give people a reason it's instantly more convincing, whether your reason makes sense or not.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I've heard that psychologically if you give people a reason it's instantly more convincing, whether your reason makes sense or not.

It's easier if they like you to begin with, and your reason has to massage their ego (or at least avoid offending it)