Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Do you think there was ever an absence of such posts? They have always been on men's forums and always will be. It seems that some of you become paralyzed by these posts and fall into hand-wringing about the "losers" that you are daily choosing to hang out with. I personally think it is dangerous and counterproductive to frequent a forum that is comprised of people whom I consider "losers". I personally wouldn't do it.
Over the years, my method has been different. I ignore the stuff that I personally am not interested in and as I always like to put it, "mine the gold". The gold is invisible to the hand-wringers.
In my experience, the ban hammer comes down excruciatingly slowly on members who resort to trashing and verbally abusing other members. We go to great lengths to prolong the deployment of a ban and dialog at length with the person in order to get them to ease up on the abuse. Sometimes they see it and turn it around. Other times they react like foot-stomping children and that's when we ban. You guys would be amazed at the childish, tantrum-laden messages we get from some of them. They are breaking out of their online persona and showing us their true colors. It never ceases to amaze me how grown men can dive into toddler-like tantrums in contrast to the person they portray on the boards. With these guys, their messages to us reek of major insecurity. That's why they resort to name-calling when challenged by other members. They have nothing else of substance in their arsenal to deal with opposition.
For clarity, it is true that abuse and name-calling of other members is a ban-able offense. Writing threads venting about women is not.
I find myself chuckling about the posts here that cry about the other crybabies. They're just crying about different things, but they're all crying.
Mine the gold and ignore the noise, fellas. It has always been on men's forums, and always will be. I would offer another suggestion for those who cry about the site and yet hang around here every day: Why not write some productive posts to counteract what you consider to be offensive? Instead, many men dwell on the offense instead of counteracting it and adding positive material that might get men to see more clearly.
I remember one day about 20 years ago. I was in a 7-11, looking around and remarking to myself, what a bunch of low-life losers in this store, buying all this crap with no regard for health. Then, to my horror, I realized that I was one of them, and for all I knew, one or more of those people may have been thinking the same thing about me. I don't go to 7-11s anymore.
I rarely look at guys as losers here. There are a few of course, but some who appear as losers are actually confused guys who are trying to make their way and figure this stuff out. Some are currently in the anger phase, some are in the depression phase, or perhaps some other phase. I try to help them work their way through it, to be a positive influence in this forum. The ones who don't listen and who stay stuck for years don't even register on my radar screen. I don't fret over them; I dismiss them, knowing there will always be some on any forum.
Those are some of my thoughts on this imperfect but immensely valuable and effective forum. This forum single-handedly facilitated my recovery from a clueless, lost "boy" to an effective man who garners respect everywhere he goes, from men and women alike. It's not that the forum magically transformed me, rather, I leveraged the good of the site to my advantage and ignored the static.
Over the years, my method has been different. I ignore the stuff that I personally am not interested in and as I always like to put it, "mine the gold". The gold is invisible to the hand-wringers.
In my experience, the ban hammer comes down excruciatingly slowly on members who resort to trashing and verbally abusing other members. We go to great lengths to prolong the deployment of a ban and dialog at length with the person in order to get them to ease up on the abuse. Sometimes they see it and turn it around. Other times they react like foot-stomping children and that's when we ban. You guys would be amazed at the childish, tantrum-laden messages we get from some of them. They are breaking out of their online persona and showing us their true colors. It never ceases to amaze me how grown men can dive into toddler-like tantrums in contrast to the person they portray on the boards. With these guys, their messages to us reek of major insecurity. That's why they resort to name-calling when challenged by other members. They have nothing else of substance in their arsenal to deal with opposition.
For clarity, it is true that abuse and name-calling of other members is a ban-able offense. Writing threads venting about women is not.
I find myself chuckling about the posts here that cry about the other crybabies. They're just crying about different things, but they're all crying.
Mine the gold and ignore the noise, fellas. It has always been on men's forums, and always will be. I would offer another suggestion for those who cry about the site and yet hang around here every day: Why not write some productive posts to counteract what you consider to be offensive? Instead, many men dwell on the offense instead of counteracting it and adding positive material that might get men to see more clearly.
I remember one day about 20 years ago. I was in a 7-11, looking around and remarking to myself, what a bunch of low-life losers in this store, buying all this crap with no regard for health. Then, to my horror, I realized that I was one of them, and for all I knew, one or more of those people may have been thinking the same thing about me. I don't go to 7-11s anymore.
I rarely look at guys as losers here. There are a few of course, but some who appear as losers are actually confused guys who are trying to make their way and figure this stuff out. Some are currently in the anger phase, some are in the depression phase, or perhaps some other phase. I try to help them work their way through it, to be a positive influence in this forum. The ones who don't listen and who stay stuck for years don't even register on my radar screen. I don't fret over them; I dismiss them, knowing there will always be some on any forum.
Those are some of my thoughts on this imperfect but immensely valuable and effective forum. This forum single-handedly facilitated my recovery from a clueless, lost "boy" to an effective man who garners respect everywhere he goes, from men and women alike. It's not that the forum magically transformed me, rather, I leveraged the good of the site to my advantage and ignored the static.
And you mods can keep letting them until there is literally no respect or value left here whatsoever.