What's the one most important thing a DJ should be thinking?

[SteR]

Especially in clubs.

When I say this I mean there's a hell of a lot of information on how to get women and sometimes when I'm in a club or whatever and I want to to talk to a girl I find myself trying to remember everything I've read about how to approach and when to initiate kino and what to say and when blah blah blah and before I know it I start panicking over the confusion of what I should do and the girl ends up walking off.

So basically what I'm asking is... what's the one most important thing that I should be thinking of/remembering when going around clubs/bars?

 

[diablo]

From what I've learned, it's best to focus on one thing at a time. By that, I mean that it's easy to read and re-read all of the different Bible threads; however, when you actually get down to using what you've read, you've got a massive information overload. You're thinking "but Pook said this!" then "What about Giovanni? What would he do?" all in the meanwhile you're standing there looking like a slackjawed idiot. (No offense). It's better to think before you go to the club "I'm going to work on my cold approaches by using XXXXX method." This lets you focus on one thing and one thing alone. Once you've got that down pat, you won't have to think about doing it anymore, it will come naturally. Then you use it as a stepping block, and say "Now, I'll work on YYYYYYY." The only real analogy I can think of is martial arts. When you're exchanging blows, you don't want to freeze up and think "Hm. Should I counter the shooting star with a downward block? Or should I use the fan block. Maybe it was the long upward block." By this time, you're on the ground - or in clubbing terms, left emptyhanded.

 

[SteR]

yup I understand what you mean. But I mean sometimes during conversation I start thinking 'aha maybe I should do this' and then my conversation stops flowing as I try to employ a method or whatever so it goes all funny and I end up blowing it.

Is it better sometimes to just go with the flow and forget about all this DJ stuff and see what happens?

 

[Jay Gatsby]

You should think about yourself and what you want to accomplish. Forget about trying to guess what she might want, or how she might react to what you say. Such thoughts will paralyze you into inaction, or worse, cause you to second-guess your actions as you are doing them, thereby sabotaging your game.

What I sense is a desire on your part not to make any mistakes by thinking the "right way." Essentially, you have little confidence in your abilities, and your ego is on the line every time you approach. You need to accept the fact that you will make mistakes -- that's the only way you will learn. Yes, you will say something stupid, initiate kino too quickly, etc... So what? The alternative is to take your place on "death row" (i.e., against the walls of the club, edge of the dancefloor, etc...) with all of the other men who are afraid to make a mistake with a woman.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

How to make some dolla$.... because if it don't make dolla$, it don't make sense.

If you got your mind on getting women, you will fail. Best to think money, and let the rest fall into place.

You will find out later that, the less you put into getting some, the more it will find you....

 

[SteR]

lol yeh I've always found that in the past I've pulled the most women when I haven't given a sh*t about doing so. I guess my main focus will just be to have fun and get talking to some girls, not necessarily to pull them

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Picking up (approaches) at clubs is easy - just ask, "Do you want to dance" and offer her your hand. If "no" then move on!

If I see an attractive girl anywhere, I go straight towards her with an "I don't care if I get rejected, I only have something to gain" attitude. Just don't get pyschologically or emotionally affected, whatever the outcome!

 

[DJ_Dork]

be true to yourself.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Picking up (approaches) at clubs is easy - just ask, "Do you want to dance" and offer her your hand. If "no" then mobe on!

- "Come dance (darling)"

- Hey, you WANT to dance with me! (Said as a command or rhetorical question knowing she WANTS to and not asked as a question).

Then putting out your hand Gotta be even more ****y/confident

 

[Lingham]

YOu've got all this advice in your subconscious and it will come as needed. Mainly you want to have a good time and giver her agood time. As soon as you let desire get in the way you will ruin it. Keep it light, and have a good time. Be bold!

 

[SteR]

Is there any other way to get girls other than dancing with them because all the girls I've pulled in clubs has been through just talking to them at the bar or whatever and then kissin them. I'm not a very good dancer and although I wouldn't mind pulling on the dancefloor I'd rather just do it by the bar or something. Any tips?

 

[TheNonPedant]

Don't think at all. See that she is a woman....you are a man (I think...) and do what comes naturally. Don't, I repeat don't try to remember all these rules and gimmicks. Be a confident man....and you won't be thinking about what to do...it just happens.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Good question.

I have to keep an eye on this

 

[Rej]

..and be positive and always leave them wondering. let them WANT to say yes..confuse them if u have to.. i remember iw as at a wedding once and i was pretty drunk so as we all no when a lady see's a drunk guy approaching her first reaction is..eek! run! haha..but i kept it cool and walked over to these could girls and i said some line..can't rmember what..and the one girl was kinda hesitant and said nah i don't really feel like it and the other was almsot ready to say the same..when i said something as simple as "hey..if u girls don't wanna dance thats cool" as if i had wasn't wasting my time on them any more and i began to walk away and isntantly the second girl was like whoa wait! i never said no.... i dunno..if u get the msg of the story.but u ask what the most important thing is...and say..confidence..forget all the fancy tricks forget what person a said and comparing it to person b...all good advice..but when it comes down to it..just be confident..ah girl will appreciate that..and if its not going ur way...get out and find somehting else..be in control of every situation and u really can't lose.....
later guy

 

[Zossima]

Originally posted by SteR
Especially in clubs.


So basically what I'm asking is... what's the one most important thing that I should be thinking of/remembering when going around clubs/bars?

"Stay confident" , "No Fear" and "Just have fun" should be going through you're mind when clubbing.

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by SteR
So basically what I'm asking is... what's the one most important thing that I should be thinking of/remembering when going around clubs/bars?

"Fvck me - this is fun!"

... and make sure it is.

 

[SteR]

There's one thing that really pisses me off about clubs though and that is that girls always seem to be in groups. Now for an experienced DJ it's no problem for them to approach the whole group confidently and somehow single one or 2 out but for me (new to the game) it would be incredibly hard to do this. I mean once or twice you do find a solo girl and they are the ones that I approach but they're not that common and when they are about they're normally surrounded by like 30 guys.

 

[AMF]

"What's the one most important thing a DJ should be thinking?"

Nothing.

You think, you sink.

 

[SuperFlex]

Hey SteR, it's JoeJoeJoe from bb.com.

Yeah the mindset i use now is:

I am constantly thinkin' that i'm the best thing for women ever, that i'm the best lookin male in the world etc. I just kept tellin' myself that i'm better than everyone else and after a while of telling it to yourself you start to believe it. It boosts confidence.

Then i just have as much fun as i can with my mates, i think you'll find that they are more attracted to you once they see you having a lot of fun.

I see a girl, and if i think shes good enough for me i'll go dance with her/ talk to her. She won't reject me because i'm the best lookin guy ever, and, one the slim chance that she does, it's only to give other less fortunate guys a chance because i get too much *****. That's how i think in a club.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by SteR
There's one thing that really pisses me off about clubs though and that is that girls always seem to be in groups. Now for an experienced DJ it's no problem for them to approach the whole group confidently and somehow single one or 2 out but for me (new to the game) it would be incredibly hard to do this. I mean once or twice you do find a solo girl and they are the ones that I approach but they're not that common and when they are about they're normally surrounded by like 30 guys.

even girls, especially if they are drinking have to go to the tooilet, so they max go with two friends or so. Just take em all on, as its shortened the odds, or get a wing to distract two of them. Find ways of making them leave their group like motioning for them to come to you.