What's the next move here?

[RogueWarrior]

Okay, I read in the DJ Bible the difference between clingyness and persistence and I'm trying to correlate that with "getting on with one's life"

Situation: Girl I've been interested in for some time let's it slip that she's dating some guy. Yes, she used the word "dating" not "boyfriend".

So, my initial thought is to just let her go, cut off contact, and get on with my life on the grounds that A) I'll be better off and B) if she's interested, she'll make contact eventually.

But then I read the persistence/clingyness thing and the above starts to sound like "clingy".

Now I'm also convinced that the last time we were together I should have made a move and I didn't. Okay, so I'm a dumbass. That also falls into the clingy category.

So, would you go with the "cutoff" on the grounds that women want what they can't have or would you maintain limited contact on the grounds that persistence should not be swayed by the fact that the girl dates other guys? BTW, the "cutoff" tactic gotten results in the past.

 

[decades]

Look for threads about "spinning plates".

You are close to a ONEITIS frame with her and you haven't even had a date. Guys tend to put Cart before Horse. We "see" ourselves going steady with her before we have even asked her out. We worry about competiton as if she is our GF.

Why not ask her out? Get in touch with WHY you haven't asked. What is holding you back? I would ask right away just to see where you stand. If she wants to go out then just be casual, while working dilligently towards the "close". Don't think of her in terms of a girlfriend, don't get ahead of yourself, and don't think of a future together. Spin plates while you get to know her better.

If, on the other hand, you get the "I see you as a friend" response, then EJECT and move on 100% no contact. Then start spinning plates as a primary strategy and continue to study here. Learn how to be a DJ before trying to get a GF. Then it will be easy to get a GF if that's what you want. Take care.

 

[Metro3pilot]

everything is perception ....

if someone likes to be pursued " it's persistence "
if someone likes a lot of space " it's clingyness "

I have had chicks say they wanted to be friends and bang them 5 minutes later and others who said they wanted a relationship but would not kiss me, others that would answer my calls and refuse to go out ..others who did not call, but could bang them with no notice ...... point being wondering what theyre thinking and why they do what they do is a waste of time ...

action speaks louder than words, you need to take action ...

call her and ask her out, then at some point try to kiss her ... if she kisses you then it's game on ..... if she does not, move on a find a girl that likes you ....

Good Luck

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

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