What's the most important advice YOU can give to an 18 year old newbie?

[backseatjuan]

@ABC123 Rejection happens when attraction is not there, and attraction is not there when you are not spartan god, especially online. You will get the rest here with time, but the most important thing is realizing that if your body is crap you will not achieve success. So the most important thing you can do for yourself is hit the gym, and without steroids, build highly athletic muscly body. That will get you above 80% success already by itself, especially online on Tinder, etc. Get perfect body.

 

[Mike32ct]

@ABC123 Rejection happens when attraction is not there, and attraction is not there when you are not spartan god, especially online. You will get the rest here with time, but the most important thing is realizing that if your body is crap you will not achieve success. So the most important thing you can do for yourself is hit the gym, and without steroids, build highly athletic muscly body. That will get you above 80% success already by itself, especially online on Tinder, etc. Get perfect body.

^This. Looks-max as much as you can.

Hairstyle is also absolutely CRITICAL at your age too.

When I was 18, I had a boring conservative hairstyle that my mom and her 40yo friends liked lol. Girls didn’t look at me until I changed that up.

 

[fastlife]

I appreciate your suggestions. I'd like to ask about advice #3. Work is a big part of one's life and to just go out and do something I can 'tolerate' is not ideal for me. I'd much rather wake up with a smile to a job that pays only $22k than to wake up miserable to a job that pays $44-50k. I don't necessarily invest in materialist things anyways and wouldn't mind living frugally.

A lot of guys will give me sh1t for this, but social skills >>> money. I have a pretty solid 'career'--it's temporary. I didn't begin my 'career' til I was 27 and I doubt I'll need it by the time I'm 29. But I had some background from some side projects I did when I was stumbling around in my early 20s. A couple months into the job and I turned down a leadership position that would've put me comfortably into the 6 figures--I don't need it.

My work history is all over the place, but I'm very good with people (which is a skill you can practice). I'm very good at conveying value (which is a skill you can practice). I'm very good about asking for what I want (which is a skill you can practice). I have a very solid side hustle, which I believe will be full-time by 2020 that I only got into because I was risk-tolerant and had time to learn those skills that other people didn't, because they were nose-to-the-grindstone before they even knew what they wanted. And most of them still don't--since they just do what everyone else is doing.

Bro, you have exactly one life. Of that, you have probably 25 years where you're old enough to do anything you want, and young enough to go do it. At 18, you have idea WHO you are, WHAT you like, and the things YOU CAN BE GOOD AT. That's not a knock on you. It just is what it is. Any decision you make before the age of 25 is a shot in the dark--if it works out, you got lucky. You just haven't experienced enough life to make informed decisions. You're lucky; I admire the fact that you're open to advice; when I was 18 I had it all figured out, and I paid the price for that.

Here's my advice.

1. Have fun. The people in your age group will never be more available or have less responsibilities than they do right now. Enjoy it. This is a chapter of your life you won't get back.
2. Live outside your comfort zone. Put yourself in as many new situations with as many new people as you possibly can. This is the only way you'll get a feel for what you like, what works socially, and it will open doors you'll never knew existed if you just stick with some small town clique.
3. Work hard--but do it for you. Even when I was drifting, I was working. I was learning things and trying things out. This is the time to invest in yourself--you'll never have more energy, more time and less responsibility than you do right now. Have an idea of what you want to accomplish? Start today and work your azz off. You might be years away from seeing results, but you have time. If you never see results, at least you learned work ethic.
4. Live for yourself. The people you hang with? In 7 years, a lot of them won't be there. They'll be working careers, dating b1tchy women, you'll drift apart. Don't base your decisions of their approval. Your parents? They already got their shot at life. They won't respect you if you don't take yours. Don't base your decisions of their approval. The hottest girls in your life right now? You won't want to fvck them in 7 years. Don't base your decisions of their approval.
5. Avoid addictions. Drugs, alcohol, and oneitis can set your life back drastically. Avoid the hard stuff (including BPD women lol). In the next couple years you'll see people you know and love ruin their lives with that stuff.
6. Stay in shape. This is big. Want to have the option to have fun when you're 27 and single? Being in shape makes it so much easier. Plus, failure to exercise can lead to depression.
7. Meditate. Thoughts and emotions become habits. You have control over both--though it doesn't seem like it because you don't remember when the thoughts and habits you have now started. Work through them. Have thoughts that hold you back? Rewire them. Have emotions that aren't productive? Practice new ones. I spent a lot of time in really dark places and based some decisions with real-world stakes, based off of sh1tty thought patterns and limiting beliefs.
8. Leave your house!!! 99% of the games you play, movies you watch, whatever, will be totally forgotten. That time will be gone. The experiences you have with real-life people? Those are what you'll remember. Meet everyone you can and put yourself in new situations. The people you really connect with with? Cherish that. Some of the friendships you're making now will be worth more than you can imagine over the next few years.
9. Take chances. See a girl you want? Do it. She'll never be the exact same girl she is in this exact moment ever again. You usually only have one shot. Get an opportunity? Take it. If it's a mistake, you'll learn from it. 'What ifs?,' those are what will kill you.
10. Live honestly. Embrace who you are, what you like. Talk about things that interest you. Try to fvck the girls you want to fvck. Someone violate your values. Call them on it.
11. Use condoms.

 

[ABC123]

Well my young friend, every man has to chose the best path for himself.

If you have a passion and want to make a career of it, then give it a try. Just be realistic and have a back up plan because 99% of the time your passion aint gonna be a viable career path.

Out here in Los Angeles, I see so many guys/gals in their 40's working as waiters, baristas, uber drivers, kitchen cooks etc.... They all came to L.A. with dreams of being actors/models/rock stars/tv personalities etc... Now they're washed up, no money, no education, scrapping by living paycheck-to-paycheck....

They drank that "follow your passion" koolaid and look what happened...

It's actually quite sad because you'd hear stories of young men having to pr0stitute themselves just to scrape by and survive...and no, they're not pr0stituting themselves to women....

I get

I don't agree with his #3. You should have a good paying job until your true passion can take over as your main income.

You'll notice that you asked about advice for interacting with women and almost everyone is giving you general life advice. That's because how hard you try in life, with anything, will affect everything else, including your confidence in yourself and your abilities. Your confidence in yourself is what will determine the caliber of women that will be available to you. The key is to never put a woman above the self work you believe will cause you to grow even more. The balance is to be kind, treat her well, but at the same time be able to check her when she steps out of line and walk away if her behavior doesn't change. Not in a salty way, but because you won't spend your time with people you don't enjoy or with people that disrespect you. Besides you have your purpose and mission in life to pursue. Healthy women find this kind of strength really attractive. Ideally you want to create an abundant life for yourself so that you're interacting with women all the time and they flock to you. To be in the position of choosing or kindly refusing offers from women is a very good place to be. You can chase women and you might end up having sex with them, but doing so will only increase the divide between you and the guy that doesn't chase and focuses completely on improving his life. Never neglect yourself. Check out Alpha Male Strategies on YouTube. The books mentioned are good but remember to form your own opinion and become a master of self control. Exercise long term thinking whenever you can since it's always more rewarding if it works out, which will depend on how much effort you put into making it a reality. You can do literally anything you put your mind to so pick healthy challenges and push your limits. Challenges are meant to be overcome.

Another quick tip came to mind about women and relationships in general. Roll with all the punches, practice not letting things get under your skin(this doesn't mean to be complacent). Be fun and funny and never emotional or dramatic. There should be nothing someone can say to upset you. Once you've mastered that you'll perform a lot better in everything because your mindset will be untouchable and completely yours. A woman will love that she can't upset you. Especially when she knows you'll kindly stand up for yourself if she tries to disrespect you. Again the key is to stand up for yourself in a chill cool guy way. She'll feel like she can tell you anything and she'll know that if she's not nice you'll leave. This will keep her panties wet. Good luck grasshoppa.

Thanks for the tips. Really appreciate this. Thanks again

 

[ABC123]

@ABC123 Rejection happens when attraction is not there, and attraction is not there when you are not spartan god, especially online. You will get the rest here with time, but the most important thing is realizing that if your body is crap you will not achieve success. So the most important thing you can do for yourself is hit the gym, and without steroids, build highly athletic muscly body. That will get you above 80% success already by itself, especially online on Tinder, etc. Get perfect body.

I don't exercise now if I'm honest but ill slowly ease my mind into doing so and also eating more healthy. Thanks a lot Maximus.

 

[ABC123]

^This. Looks-max as much as you can.

Hairstyle is also absolutely CRITICAL at your age too.

When I was 18, I had a boring conservative hairstyle that my mom and her 40yo friends liked lol. Girls didn’t look at me until I changed that up.

I recently completely shaved my head due to a lost bet.. I'll straighten up when it grows back.

 

[marmel75]

The most important poece of advice is to never focus on women..focus on retiring by age 40. Trust me, its entirely possible through the magic of compound interest and investing money instead of wasting it. Wish I took my own advice.

 

[ABC123]

A lot of guys will give me sh1t for this, but social skills >>> money. I have a pretty solid 'career'--it's temporary. I didn't begin my 'career' til I was 27 and I doubt I'll need it by the time I'm 29. But I had some background from some side projects I did when I was stumbling around in my early 20s. A couple months into the job and I turned down a leadership position that would've put me comfortably into the 6 figures--I don't need it.

My work history is all over the place, but I'm very good with people (which is a skill you can practice). I'm very good at conveying value (which is a skill you can practice). I'm very good about asking for what I want (which is a skill you can practice). I have a very solid side hustle, which I believe will be full-time by 2020 that I only got into because I was risk-tolerant and had time to learn those skills that other people didn't, because they were nose-to-the-grindstone before they even knew what they wanted. And most of them still don't--since they just do what everyone else is doing.

Bro, you have exactly one life. Of that, you have probably 25 years where you're old enough to do anything you want, and young enough to go do it. At 18, you have idea WHO you are, WHAT you like, and the things YOU CAN BE GOOD AT. That's not a knock on you. It just is what it is. Any decision you make before the age of 25 is a shot in the dark--if it works out, you got lucky. You just haven't experienced enough life to make informed decisions. You're lucky; I admire the fact that you're open to advice; when I was 18 I had it all figured out, and I paid the price for that.

Here's my advice.

1. Have fun. The people in your age group will never be more available or have less responsibilities than they do right now. Enjoy it. This is a chapter of your life you won't get back.
2. Live outside your comfort zone. Put yourself in as many new situations with as many new people as you possibly can. This is the only way you'll get a feel for what you like, what works socially, and it will open doors you'll never knew existed if you just stick with some small town clique.
3. Work hard--but do it for you. Even when I was drifting, I was working. I was learning things and trying things out. This is the time to invest in yourself--you'll never have more energy, more time and less responsibility than you do right now. Have an idea of what you want to accomplish? Start today and work your azz off. You might be years away from seeing results, but you have time. If you never see results, at least you learned work ethic.
4. Live for yourself. The people you hang with? In 7 years, a lot of them won't be there. They'll be working careers, dating b1tchy women, you'll drift apart. Don't base your decisions of their approval. Your parents? They already got their shot at life. They won't respect you if you don't take yours. Don't base your decisions of their approval. The hottest girls in your life right now? You won't want to fvck them in 7 years. Don't base your decisions of their approval.
5. Avoid addictions. Drugs, alcohol, and oneitis can set your life back drastically. Avoid the hard stuff (including BPD women lol). In the next couple years you'll see people you know and love ruin their lives with that stuff.
6. Stay in shape. This is big. Want to have the option to have fun when you're 27 and single? Being in shape makes it so much easier. Plus, failure to exercise can lead to depression.
7. Meditate. Thoughts and emotions become habits. You have control over both--though it doesn't seem like it because you don't remember when the thoughts and habits you have now started. Work through them. Have thoughts that hold you back? Rewire them. Have emotions that aren't productive? Practice new ones. I spent a lot of time in really dark places and based some decisions with real-world stakes, based off of sh1tty thought patterns and limiting beliefs.
8. Leave your house!!! 99% of the games you play, movies you watch, whatever, will be totally forgotten. That time will be gone. The experiences you have with real-life people? Those are what you'll remember. Meet everyone you can and put yourself in new situations. The people you really connect with with? Cherish that. Some of the friendships you're making now will be worth more than you can imagine over the next few years.
9. Take chances. See a girl you want? Do it. She'll never be the exact same girl she is in this exact moment ever again. You usually only have one shot. Get an opportunity? Take it. If it's a mistake, you'll learn from it. 'What ifs?,' those are what will kill you.
10. Live honestly. Embrace who you are, what you like. Talk about things that interest you. Try to fvck the girls you want to fvck. Someone violate your values. Call them on it.
11. Use condoms.

Thanks a lot for taking the time to type these. Really appreciate it.

 

[zekko]

What would you recommend for me to do then? At the moment I don't even know exactly what I like.

Well, if you don't know what you like, I'm certainly not going to. You would know your aptitudes better than anyone. The question is how you can use them to earn yourself money. If you can't figure it out you might try working different jobs to get a feel for what you like. One problem is that things change so fast that entire industries and career paths can be wiped out in a short time. Some people have to retrain themselves to do different jobs several times over their lifetime. Also remember, college educated people statistically make more money. The entrepreneurial path is popular on these forums, but that's not for everybody either.

Obviously you don't want to do what you hate, but if it's a choice between eating and not eating I'd suggest doing what you hate, at least temporarily. I like what @Xenom0rph said, follow the money while still doing something you can tolerate it. If you can really earn a living doing what you love, great. But they do call it work for a reason. Balance is a big key to life. You want to be making good money, but you don't want to be too miserable doing it.

 

[skinnyguy]

Stay away from social media *****s. They look good, but ultimately they are just out for themselves.

 

[Trump]

Have as much sex as you can. If you don’t get good at having sex now, it’s going to weigh you down when you get older. Then when you finally understand it when you are older it will be too late because all the hot ones are gone.

If want to get married, get married between 22-27.

Don’t worry about money, you’ll be able to make it in your 30s and 40s.

Become some sort of “professional”; accountant, lawyer, dentist.

Live in reality. Don’t lie to make yourself look good.

Don’t burn bridges

Stay away from Hollywood movies and tv

Again, have sex have sex have sex. The one thing everyone regrets one here is not having enough sex when they were younger. You won’t care about $300,000 when you are in your 40s, but you will care about not having sex with the young girl.

 

[Hal9000]

I appreciate your suggestions. I'd like to ask about advice #3. Work is a big part of one's life and to just go out and do something I can 'tolerate' is not ideal for me. I'd much rather wake up with a smile to a job that pays only $22k than to wake up miserable to a job that pays $44-50k. I don't necessarily invest in materialist things anyways and wouldn't mind living frugally.

I'm not necessarily saying this mindset is wrong only that it'll significantly limit the number of women you have access to as you get older. Sure the typical cute 20 year old female will date a guy making minimum wage but pretty much zero quality women will have any interest in a relationship with someone doing something they enjoy and making diddley squat as they get older. You don't need to be making huge money but enough to support yourself and raise a family. That amount can vary widely depending on your location, of course. In other words, like most things in life, its a balancing act.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I appreciate your suggestions. I'd like to ask about advice #3. Work is a big part of one's life and to just go out and do something I can 'tolerate' is not ideal for me. I'd much rather wake up with a smile to a job that pays only $22k than to wake up miserable to a job that pays $44-50k. I don't necessarily invest in materialist things anyways and wouldn't mind living frugally.

That smile will get wiped off your face pretty quick once you realize that at $22K/year, you'd be living out of cardboard box under a bridge. Even $50K a year is basically subsistence level these days, especially if you live in a big city. Money doesn't matter that much if you are financially conformable already. If you're not, it will be the only thing that matters.

 

[Tdawg]

Slay as many women as you can (fat, ugly, all of them). Get it out of your system so when you get married, you're not ****ing around or thinking "damn it, I didn't get enough time to play".

Don't get her pregnant....no matter what.

Wish I would have listened to the above advice at your age. Would of saved me a lot of trouble down the road.

 

[17 shots]

Always wash your dikk after getting head. Don't let a woman's saliva marinate on you overnight

 

[Atom Smasher]

Avoid falling prey to the illusion that specific opportunities will always be there. Take advantage of them as they present themselves. Opportunities have a way of seeming like they will be "always there", just in the back pocket, but they disappear into nothingness in the blink of an eye, and they don't come back.

My biggest regret in life is being flippant toward opportunities that disappeared on me because I was lazy and didn't take action.

All opportunities, no matter how solid and unmovable they may seem, are a mist. Don't let a random breeze blow them away.

 

[RangerMIke]

First on you:

1. Have a plan for your future and work towards that plan. Don't be shiftless. It doesn't matter what you chose to focus on at this point in your life... have a plan, and do not let girls distract you.

2. Develop discipline and self control, never let your emotions control your actions. Make a schedule and keep to it.. this is discipline.

3. Be social... find something you enjoy and get involved in things... it's best if these things are not XBox or Playstation, drugs, or excessive drinking.

4. Work out, stay in shape and eat right.

5. Take care in what you wear, don't dress like a slob.

Now on girls:

1. Everything starts with her... she has to like you otherwise NOTHING happens. Practice and figure out and learn when a chick is attracted to you, and when she isn't.

2. If a chick likes you, do not waste time... take action, be direct and don't waffle around.

3. Understand all girls are pretty much the same. There is no 'one'. Never allow yourself to get hung up on one chick.

4. Dating is like surfing, when the right wave (chick) comes along... ride it: if the wave (chick) is not right... let it pass... understand another one will be coming along soon. It is better and easier to ride the right wave, other than riding a suck wave because it's a waste of time. All girls are pretty much the same so just take advantage of any that find you interesting and get practice. Men who are good with women got this way with experience.... get some experience.

5. You can not make anything happen with a chick that isn't attracted to you... there is NOTHING you can do other than be the best version of yourself. No amount of 'game' or effort will work with a chick that does not think you are attractive, all you can do is fvck sh!t up with one that likes you.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I recently graduated High School and wanted to learn anything possible about dating women before I develop bad habits.

What is your best advice when interacting with women?

1. Don't be Captain Save-a-hoe and a white night beta dude.
   
   
2. Seek for excellence and not for tails.
   
   
3. Take the red pill and stop being a blue pilled person (Which many guys are).
   
   
4. Get buffed and be the best version you can be in all perspectives of life and you will shine.
   
   
5. Read the book "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi. Every dude should read that book and every father should read it to their sons in my opinion.

I could make a long list about this subject, but i won´t because the above is a good portion to digest as it already is.

 

[Mike32ct]

1. Life gives us giant boulders but only a tiny hammer and a tiny chisel.

Have a lot of patience and break every problem or challenge into little pieces. Tackle one piece at a time. It’s slow af, but at least you can move forward and get to the finish line rather than get overwhelmed and freeze up.