What's the deal with women and simps saying "communication" is so important?

[pranshu]

In my opinion, If your chick is complaining you don't communicate enough but has sex with you when you desire then you are on the right path..just give her a few breadcrumbs from time to time and she will be fine.
Cuz what man would want to "talk" to women when he has his gymbros, workbros, etc...

 

[Bigpapa]

In my opinion, If your chick is complaining you don't communicate enough but has sex with you when you desire then you are on the right path..just give her a few breadcrumbs from time to time and she will be fine.
Cuz what man would want to "talk" to women when he has his gymbros, workbros, etc...

in all fairness, a guy does not really have anything interesting to talk with a woman

a guy barely has anything interesting to talk with other guys

“male bonding” happens through activities mainly ( doing sports together for example) ,and only little through talking

this does not mean to not talk with women at all, or not listen them from time to time what she has to say, but for sure it does not mean to be her “ sister “

 

[pranshu]

in all fairness, a guy does not really have anything interesting to talk with a woman

a guy barely has anything interesting to talk with other guys

“male bonding” happens through activities mainly ( doing sports together for example) ,and only little through talking

exactly my point...just couldnt put it in such words

 

[Bigpapa]

exactly my point...just couldnt put it in such words

discussion with one of my best friends today after we had not really seen each other for like 2-3 months due to both of us traveling

coffee for like 10-15 minutes:

- telling me about an offer from an US company
- he showered me his brand new Rolex and how one of his friends introduced him to the dealer to not wait too much
- saying that he wants to go to Latin America to be on a better time zone for his job on US hours ( both being in Europe ) as he has to work first 1 year for the company till it will be easy to apply for the work visa
- a bit about girls
- a bit about girls
- me complaining about where I work a bit
- planning to go to Ibiza or Marbella for a long weekend
and that@s it

 

[Barrister]

Generally speaking, communication IS important in a relationship. Many times, you need to let her know what your boundaries are, and the only way to usually do that is to let her know in a direct and firm manner when she has crossed one of them.

I have found that usually women are very poor communicators. They either shut down OR they will use bad behavior (acting very cold or bitchy) to let you know they aren't happy about something without actually telling you how and why they are upset. The problem is that many men try to overcompensate in response (saying he is sorry for example when he did nothing wrong), which only reinforces this negative reaction.

If a woman is a poor communicator, all you can really do is be firm at all times with your position at all times. You can't make her be a good one. If she doesn't listen to what you are saying, you withdraw your attention for a time until she is ready to have a productive discussion. If you never reach that point and this becomes a problem on multiple levels, then you likely need to think about nexting.

 

[Dr.Suave]

sounds like what a guy who is dominated would do

But again, software guys are not really known for their social skills

Im gonna save her some time and reply on her behalf:

"You dont know whom or what you are talking about. My fiancee is a High Value Man who looks like a Rock Star and has the best social skills. He is certainly not dominated at all. Super young, hot, fertile poozy throw themselves at him all the time but he declines because he prefers to be with me!"

Those wouldnt be her exact words of course. But you get the gist.

 

[Bigpapa]

Im gonna save her some time and reply on her behalf:

"You dont know whom or what you are talking about. My fiancee is a High Value Man who looks like a Rock Star and has the best social skills. He is certainly not dominated at all. Super young, hot, fertile poozy throw themselves at him all the time but he declines because he prefers to be with me!"

Those wouldnt be her exact words of course. But you get the gist.

might Be the case, but the post is not necessarily about him, but about her being a drama queen and dark triad

at least a narcissist, if not more

 

[BeExcellent]

Nah. Just being straight up. I said communication is about listening and about understanding the other person. I understand how he communicates and have learned how to relay the information effectively.

It’s much less drama than expecting him to sit face to face and “talk.” That creates drama that there’s no need to deal with. Also this happens infrequently.

If he says “I’m busy with something, go find something to do…” which he does at times when he is focused on programming and doesn’t want the distraction of me going about my business in the house? No worries or upset on my part at all. He needs space? He’s very direct. He wants something (food, sex, time together, etc.) he’s very direct. So I go do my own thing. I don’t sulk, I don’t pout or whine. I just go do whatever.

We both work remote so we are together at home for days at a time and we also accompany each other on business trips. So there must be good communication and some injections of space for that to work.

Like many men, including my father, he has limited patience with a woman needing to “talk”. So I understand that and work around it. Creates harmony and gratitude because I’m not like other girls.

 

[Bigpapa]

Nah. Just being straight up. I said communication is about listening and about understanding the other person. I understand how he communicates and have learned how to relay the information effectively.

It’s much less drama than expecting him to sit face to face and “talk.” That creates drama that there’s no need to deal with. Also this happens infrequently.

If he says “I’m busy with something, go find something to do…” which he does at times when he is focused on programming and doesn’t want the distraction of me going about my business in the house? No worries or upset on my part at all. He needs space? He’s very direct. He wants something (food, sex, time together, etc.) he’s very direct. So I go do my own thing. I don’t sulk, I don’t pout or whine. I just go do whatever.

We both work remote so we are together at home for days at a time and we also accompany each other on business trips. So there must be good communication and some injections of space for that to work.

Like many men, including my father, he has limited patience with a woman needing to “talk”. So I understand that and work around it. Creates harmony and gratitude because I’m not like other girls.

if that is the case, then it just means that you use a lot of gaslighting since you put him in a position Where he has to pay attention to your personal convos in order to try to understand you better ( and also as a way to not second guess himself all the time )

definitely manipulative and narcissistic traits on your end

 

[BeExcellent]

Not at all. But you will think whatever you like. The content I post is real, and I’m pretty transparent around here. I simply have found a means to communicate when necessary. That doesn’t make me any of the names you are calling me.

Communication is important. Agree. It’s not some “feminist imperative” or other nonsense.

You cannot have a successful marriage or LTR without it.

 

[Gamisch]

I've been thinking about this thread all day long. I think most of us actually love to communicate. Look at this, from all over the world, and some like me in a alien language trying to seek like minded men just to communicate.

When things do go a little deeper communication is key . Women are like children, their tingles might override their logical thoughts. So ,just like when you dealing with kids, sometimes a message needs to be said multiple times and in different ways to get the message out and clear.

The manosphere kinda scared men to be themselves. We are all trying to be a generic dude that maybe doesn't even exist. We all believe nowadays that attraction is a matter of a 5 seconds window and that there's nothing you can do about it. While ,before the redpill was "invented " the mouthpiece was one of the most important things a man had. I am almost sure there are tons of men who gave up on THEMSELVES and their ability to communicate with women because of not being "666.

When you deal with a women that respect you, your communication might make all the difference. Your wisdom and knowledge can only be broadcasted through clear communication. Once you are truly happy with your life and yourself you won't ever be " afraid" to communicate whatever it is you have to say.

Not at all. But you will think whatever you like. The content I post is real, and I’m pretty transparent around here. I simply have found a means to communicate when necessary. That doesn’t make me any of the names you are calling me.

Communication is important. Agree. It’s not some “feminist imperative” or other nonsense.

You cannot have a successful marriage or LTR without it.

Dont worry B. You are a woman, so its natural to "manipulate " your man is such a way that's workable for the both of you. No need to defend being a woman .

Yeah women have their way to manipulate us. Always been that way. Just make sure your husband is always respected throughout all of this.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

As cheesy as it sounds, this is where the Myers-Briggs stuff can help. It seems like mumbo-jumbo at first, and then it seems a little on the technical side, but when you dive deeper into what the various personalities are like in the real world, there are definite differences in communication styles and preferences. Having an idea of which personality template you are, and what template your partner is, can go a long way into optimizing comms.

 

[member162951]

Communication is important. Agree. It’s not some “feminist imperative” or other nonsense.

You cannot have a successful marriage or LTR without it.

Totally agree. What I don't get is how is your boyfriend eavesdropping on your private conversations with your female friends instead of talking to you directly considered effective communication? It's seems quite immature, does he hold a glass to the door too to make sure he hears what's you're communicating to your friends clearly?

And the fact you know he does this and think it's okay is equally baffling. I don't think it's gaslighting or even manipulative it's just plain weird.

Whatever floats your boats. It's not my place to say what works for another couple.

 

[BeExcellent]

Totally agree. What I don't get is how is your boyfriend eavesdropping on your private conversations with your female friends instead of talking to you directly considered effective communication? It's seems quite immature, does he hold a glass to the door too to make sure he hears what's you're communicating to your friends clearly?

And the fact you know he does this and think it's okay is equally baffling. I don't think it's gaslighting or even manipulative it's just plain weird.

Whatever floats your boats. It's not my place to say what works for another couple.

Here’s the thing. I knew when I shared the whole eavesdropping thing that it would create some controversy. That’s Ok. The way I learned he did this was that he came home from work early one day and I was chatting with my sister.

 

[member160292]

Here’s the thing. I knew when I shared the whole eavesdropping thing that it would create some controversy. That’s Ok. The way I learned he did this was that he came home from work early one day and I was chatting with my sister.

Lol, wut?

 

[TheKid]

Men talk themself out of sex/attraction more than they dont.
Its like women want you to hurry up and disqualify yourself so they can mope and move on.

 

[SargeMaximus]

The communication women are trying to get out of you is to get you to admit how much you like them. It’s a trap.

This

 

[BeExcellent]

Anyway he kept quiet & I didn’t know he was home. I was saying great things about him. I noticed his car was home & he was in the guest room (hiding out to listen) but he didn’t see me….So I knew he’d pay attention after that. Kinda kooky but whatever.

It doesn’t matter why. On Meyers- Briggs he’s a INFJ and I’m ENTP. Both are rare relative to the general population. I accept who he is & how he operates, however weird it may appear. He accepts me as I am too.

I see the eavesdropping thing as a tool if necessary to convey information and keep the peace, which can be a difficult edge to navigate at times. On occasion he’s open to a direct conversation about difficult things, and I’m fine doing that quite succinctly if he’s willing. But the conversation must be direct and to the point to be effective. Sometimes things (like parenting) are not cut and dried. So he has no frame of reference for that and thusly little patience. That’s a direct result of life experience that does not include fatherhood. Fine. But he still wants to air his (at times misguided) opinion about MY kids, who are responsible and have morals & character. He doesn’t understand why my daughter is skipping college for example. His parents were both teachers so education was strongly emphasized/expected in his family of origin. I’m less stringent about that as my daughter has a well thought out plan. I’m not going to pressure her to do things she’s not wanting to complete that will waste money. I think that’s dumb. But he’s so rigid in his programming from his family that he can’t understand that. Conversations reach an impasse. The eavesdropping technique allows an outlet for that impasse for example and helps him understand why the way I am doing things makes sense without conflict.

Problem solved.

As I said previously one must understand what one is dealing with and figure out how to relate.

This isn’t stuff you deal with in the “get to know” phase, lol.

 

[bcude]

Why do women complain and say that guys need to communicate more?

I believe all of them have been through the evolution of a traditional relationship and seen it go from healthy "back and forth" in the beginning of the relationship into less and less communication from the man's side. When you look at relationships that ultimately fail you will notice the same familiar pattern, the woman grinds the man down through war of attrition, where she will work on the man, all day, every day, 365 days a year. Not because of malicious intentions, this is just how they are wired when there are no clear boundaries and they feel unhappy. I think most guys with experience are familiar with the danger in the saying "give her a finger and she will take the whole hand". That's why we know the importance of calling out her nonsense from day one. Women will talk just to ventilate, they will complain, sometimes b itch, sometimes be wonderful but many many relationships (outside of the manosphere?) evolve into her talking and complaining and the guy turning more and more quiet or agreeing for the sake of peace and/or escaping into his "safe zone", which can be the garage, the car, another room, friend etc. which frustrates the lady because it makes her not feel heard (= not important), until it's over one day and that is when she decides to create an account on tinder to get a better guy the next time and because communication (and feeling heard) is very important to her she writes about it in her profile.

You will not hear it from women in happy relationships because the guys they're with didn't cave in the 451th time she complained about why you didn't put the toilet seat down after you. It comes naturally with having a spine. Being aware of relationship dynamics and game helps too. Being a good "communicator" seems to come naturally for a masculine man.

 

[jimwho]

Communicate more = give me more information about yours so I can use it when the time is ripe and benefits me,

And to share your private conversation with her friends. Look he said this, then I said this, then he said this. On & on!