Whats the deal with chicks that have a bunch of male friends

[Strelok]

It's easier to make friends with guys than girls. I know the first assumption is that it's because a guy wants you, but there are simpler reasons, too. For one, it is much more socially acceptable to approach someone of the opposite sex whom you don't know.

Since being in a new city for a year now, I've found it nearly impossible to make new girlfriends. They are also catty, insecure, and flaky. My best success has been with a few guy friends that I have met, who have proven to be good buddies despite my unavailability in "that way".

I guess what they like about me is my adventurousness, getting them to go to places they might not know about and do things not on their radar, not to mention I am a bit of a riot when I am not down right moody and quiet. Plus I do have a few female acquaintances with whom my guy friends may have gotten a makeout session or two from...

The reason I love my male friends is that there is no cattiness, no insecurity, no flakiness, no female bashing as a means to bonding, and they are almost always down to go wherever and try new things. It is easier to forge a connection, without having to get through layers of insecurity and b!tch issues. Not to mention they keep the piranhas (other men looking for a hookup) at bay.

So no girls cause they bust your balls,agree here.

Guys cause it's easy for you to move them to the place you like,orbiters?

Guys cause they can work as bodyguards in case some other men annoy you(except the attractive ones,in that case you probably dismiss the crew).

I mean,no bashing on you but just don't try to bullshìt people and tell it's a mutual thing,you just want to show the way and get followed as long as you need it.
Forge a connection...ahah,yeah i'm sure many guys here want to "forge a connection" with as many girls as possible,better yet with no other men around.

 

[EA Gold]

I may become a Multimillionaire because of this thread..lol I now realize I have to change my focus, mindset and priorities in life. I've had this crush on this girl for a long time, she is pretty, smart and athletic. I've noticed she had either 3-4 guys always orbiting her, but the good thing is I've tried to avoid contact with her.

Now that I know the reason why she has so many guys around her, now I can let go any attachment to this girl and move on with life.

I feel more motivated then ever to achieve my goals, and I know exactly what to do.

This was definitely an eye opener, Thanks.

 

[synergy1]

I agree with iqqi as to why guys are easier to get along with than girls. For me, women talk too much about people whereas I can talk to guys about anything. Its more intellectual conversation ; I get bored easily by most women to be honest.

on the other hand, a chick who is only friends with guys puts up a red flag as well. I am realistic and know there are cool chicks out there, so the fact that a girl has none says one thing to me; girls can't stand her. Most guy friends are just looking for a lay and hang around for it. Girls aren't , thus a chick with a bad personality will get called out on it. can I see why girls are friends with more guys than girls? Maybe, but its still reasonable for a balanced individual to have girl friends as well.

 

[jnice48146]

**** these women. Find a girl with a traditional set of friends.

THIS!

 

[jonwon]

I agree with iqqi as to why guys are easier to get along with than girls. For me, women talk too much about people whereas I can talk to guys about anything. Its more intellectual conversation ; I get bored easily by most women to be honest.

on the other hand, a chick who is only friends with guys puts up a red flag as well. I am realistic and know there are cool chicks out there, so the fact that a girl has none says one thing to me; girls can't stand her. Most guy friends are just looking for a lay and hang around for it. Girls aren't , thus a chick with a bad personality will get called out on it. can I see why girls are friends with more guys than girls? Maybe, but its still reasonable for a balanced individual to have girl friends as well.

This is a good take on it, a girl who has little female friends will pritty much sla* off the female gender to gloss over the fact that most woman simply don't get along with her - i.e the common denominator is in-fact the woman who lacks female friends rather than the female gender - most often that not the woman who lacks a healthy pool of female friends, usually have issues are more often than not the usual AW who requires constant validation and attention, hence why other healthy in the head females avoid them, because rather frankly - it boils down to the fact that other women are clued up to how the AW is, hence if they introduce a guy to the AW they pritty much know she will do anything she can to be the center of attention.

That's another point, AW always want to be the life and soul of the party the person who wants all the attention - other girls simply think she is being a bit of a tit and will talk about her behind her back - I had an ex like this, we hit a party, she didn't know anyone, she was an AW but a hot one - she wanted to be the center of attention, wanting other men to notice her, wanting other women to notice that other men noticed her - and that is pritty much the agenda of a AW - it's like they are stating 'look at me, i must be hotter than you because all these guys want to give me the time of day' - At this party I had hotter chicks than the girl I was with give me sympathetic looks that communicated "she must be a nightmare, I feel sorry for you".

Hence just this example shows why these types of girls dont get on with other females, because none AW can't be fuc*ed with the drama of it all.

Some poeple will state is is 'healthy' for a woman to harvest male friends, I call BS on that one - to me there is nothing more healthy than watching your girl go out to the pictures with her female friends to watch some chick flick - Personnally I like a woman to be a woman not some tom-boy wannabe -

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Wow, what a great thread this has become.

Altho i'd like to agree with parts of what Iqqi said, Strelok just broke down your entire arguement. Ur basically using these guys for different reasons. I'm guessing that these guys are single too and are possibly hoping they get something out of the deal whether its a make out session with one of ur friends or more likely, you.

The girl that made me start this post, now that I think about it, has only 2 actual females friends, and two others but they are her female cousins so i dont fully count them(funny too, they're all VERY similiar in how they act, side note also: i dated her cuz 6 yrs ago which is/was odd). She also does all these activities with guys(playing sports, goin to the local hole in the wall bar because the bartender is her "friend=some fat guy that likes her & hooks her up free drinks") or, like yesterday, she needed a ride to the mall so one of these minions was at her beck n call and of course took a ride to the mall that he didn't even buy anything from lol.

Annddd, dammit last night after sex she asked me if I want to be her boyfriend and I was just like cmon, this isn't a good time...

 

[handle]

Man, I really think it's a mistake to read into this or to make some generalization about what "normal girls" should do with their spare time... Can't handle lots of guys around? Fine. But they shouldn't concern you that much. If they do I think it may be your problem. Whether or not these friendships a girl has with other guys are mutual, or just lead-ons, is irrelevant. As long as you aren't being led on, who cares?

And don't take that the wrong way, I'm not bashing on anyone here. I just think that the whole "deal with chicks that have a bunch of male friends" is a moot point. It may be interesting to theorize about what these relationships are, but it shouldn't have any effect on your 'game'.

Just my philosophy -- don't read into it if it isn't relevant.

 

[iqqi]

Altho i'd like to agree with parts of what Iqqi said, Strelok just broke down your entire arguement.

Actually he did not.

He just rephrased everything that I said, to the point where they were untrue statements. I can't really be bothered to argue especially on this forum, I don't have the inclination. Some people will only hear and see what they want to.

The fact of the matter is that I have friends of both genders and for the same reasons. They add something positive to my life, as I do theirs. I enjoy their company, as they do mine. I am interested in who they are, and vice versa. They make me laugh, and vice versa. We have similar interests and goals. The list goes on but that too can be rephrased into something I did not say and is untrue, so I will leave this one to the birds.

If someone has a valid point or rebuff, then I would respond. But just like I can't be bothered with catty girls, I can't be bothered with catty boys. This rephrasing was catty, someone just wanting to be cute and funny but not really adding to the discussion at hand.

If anyone really wants me to "rebreak down" what Sterlock said, then I will, but if you can't see what I said, then compare it to what he said, and see that they are completely different statements, then I don't know why I would bother to disagree and argue.

:yawn:

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

It's easier to make friends with guys than girls. I know the first assumption is that it's because a guy wants you, but there are simpler reasons, too. For one, it is much more socially acceptable to approach someone of the opposite sex whom you don't know.

Not to be catty but i'll break it down for u now.
How is it easier? Because 99% of the time a female approaches a guy, he takes it as some sort of flirtation or intiation of some type of courtship. Which may hopefully lead to what ppl of the opposite sex are wired to do.(relationship/sex)

Since being in a new city for a year now, I've found it nearly impossible to make new girlfriends. They are also catty, insecure, and flaky. My best success has been with a few guy friends that I have met, who have proven to be good buddies despite my unavailability in "that way".

This does not apply to the female in question. She's lived here forever and has only 2 female friends. In ovr a month, she's never chilled with her other friend. Your saying tho all females are catty and flaky and all that? Thats rough.
let me ask you tho are you a very touchy, feely girl? pls be honest.
I think the guys are intersting tho, i'm just confused. Are you not an attractive women? have a pic maybe? i'm just wondering how these guys hang out with a cool ass chick like you that MAY be cute and does fun stuff, why the hell wouldn't they wanna have a relationship with u?

I guess what they like about me is my adventurousness, getting them to go to places they might not know about and do things not on their radar, not to mention I am a bit of a riot when I am not down right moody and quiet. Plus I do have a few female acquaintances with whom my guy friends may have gotten a makeout session or two from...

Strelok broke this part down well. Of course they go, they probalby think there goin on a date with u. Your telling me you approach guys, get their numbers and than go places with them hanging out 1 on 1? Do u tell them before hand I have 100% no interest in you? how does this work, i'm confused again.

The reason I love my male friends is that there is no cattiness, no insecurity, no flakiness, no female bashing as a means to bonding, and they are almost always down to go wherever and try new things. It is easier to forge a connection, without having to get through layers of insecurity and b!tch issues. Not to mention they keep the piranhas (other men looking for a hookup) at bay.

So ur tellin me when ur with these guys u use them as bodyguards because you have no interest in meeting any other potential dream boat dude that may happen to be at whatever place u go?
And LOL @ the female bashing as bonding comment too because you've done more of that in this thread than anyone "girls are b!tches, catty, flaky insecure" lol.

 

[iqqi]

lol.



LOLZ!



















OOPS I didn't realize I was posting in the high school forum.




















There. That was me being catty.

But no really, I don't feel like responding to you because I just got the impression that you were a teenager. Probably because from what I have written here you deduced that I was female bashing (?) and also you think that when I hang out with my male friends they assume we are going on a date.

LOLZ!!! huh? Really?

Are YOU that dumb, so you think that my friends are that dumb? Or you are grasping for straws to try and make any guy who hangs out with any girl a retard, or desperate? I really actually fail to understand your logic, so I think the best thing to do is to not argue with children.


One final point I will make is that most of the more socially healthy individuals that I know of have plenty of platonic friends of the opposite sex. These people tend to have more of a social life than people who are only friends with their own gender. These people also seem to have more luck romantically with the opposite sex. Could all be connected... who knows. You can totally only have friends that are guys if you want though, more power to you. Whatever floats your boat. But just so you know, MOST people have friends that girls AND guys. I was trying to help you understand why I as a girl have a lot of guy friends in addition to my girl friends. I can see that was an epic fail, but I am going to blame that on your comprehension skills and prejudices.

 

[jonwon]

IqqI is known to say one thing and mean something completely different.

Inexperianced guys reading her response and taking it at face value can be mistaken for actually believing what she wrote is fact.

Though it will be, one also does not know the little intricate details going on under the surface.

What we have is the usual stuff from a woman about how she percieves the situation to be that could or could not be concurent with reality - and in most cases girls who post like this normally are fully aware of the contradictory post or are ignorant to the forces at play.

IqqI isn't one of them, this girl posts about guys taking her out to bars, paying for her all night then wonders why the guy has the cheek to come on to her. I've seen things like this many a time for IqqI, so anyone judging women according to the post from IqqI, can pritty much understand what women do, always - without fail - they plead innocent, play black is white and mask over the so called social interactions going on - either pleading ignorance or simply being dumb.

I've yet to meet a woman who openly comes out with the fact she is manipulating men and you definatly won't ever find a woman say (to a man at least) ' Yeh I know he want's to sleep with me, he is a carpet fitter, as soon has he as laid my floor with a new carpet is the time i'll ditch his as*, unless he keeps giving '. That is fundimentally IqqI thinking in many occassions, as is a-lot of women.

My GF described the above thing to me just a few weeks ago, about a friend of hers, who ditched a guy because he was a carpet fitter, my GF response was ' I dont believe she was that stupid, she could have had new carpets '.

This is how woman think -

To a woman that is innocent, what is the big deal? - She get's a new carpet, the guy feels good about himself for being a white knight - all is good, but to the observed, the guy is a loser who will use money and services to try to buy into a womans effections and men, do not be under any illusion that woman do not use this tactic to trap orbitors and manipulate them to do something that 'she' wants to do.

Yes woman can have genuine male friends but these male friends are more often than not guys she ditches when she meets a new guy - or a guys she knows from college who she keeps intouch with now and again, once in a blue moon.

Or the tom-boys and a massive amount of AW.

It is also hard to distinguish between an actual male friend or a guy just playing the act - I've known guys with female friends admit 'she is just a friend' but when you get them drunk every single fuc*ing one of them, and without exception always say they have a secret crush on her - and if you watch them, they get bent out of shape when other guys come into the womans zone -

Woman are not stupid they know exactly what is going on.

It is pointless debating this subject or pointing this out to a woman, because what you will get is shaming language very much like what IqqI is doing in the above post.

Also from experience the guys who have female friends are usually beta guys, because they are seen as 'safe' - they are also the type of guy to go out of his way for a woman he has zero intimacy with - Most of my mates can be classed as Alpha - none of them have female friends if I was to ask them why, what you will get is the same respone I would give which is "I usually end up fcuking my female friends, hence why I don't have any" -

 

[EA Gold]

I think the issue is honesty on both sides, if we were truly honest with each other we wouldn't have this issue. If the girl keeps luring the guys in to do whatever she wants yet not give out then the girl is at fault.

If the girl lets them know that were just friends up front but the guys keep showering her with attention, gifts and allow her to take advantage of them then its their fault and shouldn't be upset if nothing happens.

 

[women haze]

And BOOm goes the Dynamite.....JonWon ends this topic..

 

[Strelok]

Actually he did not.

He just rephrased everything that I said, to the point where they were untrue statements. I can't really be bothered to argue especially on this forum, I don't have the inclination. Some people will only hear and see what they want to.

The fact of the matter is that I have friends of both genders and for the same reasons. They add something positive to my life, as I do theirs. I enjoy their company, as they do mine. I am interested in who they are, and vice versa. They make me laugh, and vice versa. We have similar interests and goals. The list goes on but that too can be rephrased into something I did not say and is untrue, so I will leave this one to the birds.

If someone has a valid point or rebuff, then I would respond. But just like I can't be bothered with catty girls, I can't be bothered with catty boys. This rephrasing was catty, someone just wanting to be cute and funny but not really adding to the discussion at hand.

If anyone really wants me to "rebreak down" what Sterlock said, then I will, but if you can't see what I said, then compare it to what he said, and see that they are completely different statements, then I don't know why I would bother to disagree and argue.

:yawn:

lol.



LOLZ!



















OOPS I didn't realize I was posting in the high school forum.




















There. That was me being catty.

But no really, I don't feel like responding to you because I just got the impression that you were a teenager. Probably because from what I have written here you deduced that I was female bashing (?) and also you think that when I hang out with my male friends they assume we are going on a date.

LOLZ!!! huh? Really?

Are YOU that dumb, so you think that my friends are that dumb? Or you are grasping for straws to try and make any guy who hangs out with any girl a retard, or desperate? I really actually fail to understand your logic, so I think the best thing to do is to not argue with children.


One final point I will make is that most of the more socially healthy individuals that I know of have plenty of platonic friends of the opposite sex. These people tend to have more of a social life than people who are only friends with their own gender. These people also seem to have more luck romantically with the opposite sex. Could all be connected... who knows. You can totally only have friends that are guys if you want though, more power to you. Whatever floats your boat. But just so you know, MOST people have friends that girls AND guys. I was trying to help you understand why I as a girl have a lot of guy friends in addition to my girl friends. I can see that was an epic fail, but I am going to blame that on your comprehension skills and prejudices.

Enough said,so your only answer is an attack to the men istead of the point and the kids are us?
No surprise you feel better with orbiters than other girls,attention hores are likes high school queens,there can be only one in a certain range.



And the name's Strelok,not that hard to get.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

I was gunna write some long response but it would be a total waste of time seeing as how u refused to answer the 2 or 3 questions i nicely asked you to answer.

btw hun, i'm prob older than u.

 

[CuriousGirl]

My GF described the above thing to me just a few weeks ago, about a friend of hers, who ditched a guy because he was a carpet fitter, my GF response was ' I dont believe she was that stupid, she could have had new carpets '.

This is how woman think -

I'm sorry but there's no way your girlfriend was being serious, she was clearly joking and mocking the fact that her friend was shallow enough to ditch him on his job alone.
But then again I don't know your gf and if she wasn't joking I don't know why you'd date someone who'd genuinely think like that.

 

[iqqi]

The reason I don't really participate in these kind of threads, especially on the regular forums, is because the discussions are simply immature and kind of twilight zonish. You say "I went out with my best friend from highschool... who's a guy... and he bought the first found, and I bought shots after... ect ect" and it gets turned into "iqqi went out with a guy, led him on, let him buy her drinks all night long, ect ect ect", it's just a waste of time.

If you really think that guys and girls are only good for fvcking each other, that's a sad existence, but it is yours and not mine.

IqqI is known to say one thing and mean something completely different........

IqqI isn't one of them, this girl posts about guys taking her out to bars, paying for her all night then wonders why the guy has the cheek to come on to her.

I have never posted anything like this. I have posted about my platonic guy friends and what that means, I have posted about dates I have been on (both successful and unsuccessful for him and tried to give examples of why), I have even posted about going out with my girlfriends and what they do, to try and illustrate things here for people. But everything I say gets twisted into some stupid sh!t, and I don't have time for it anymore.

The worst part is how stupid you think these guys are that are my friends. I think that really is just you projecting your own feelings about yourself and failures/mistakes you have made in the past, because none of it applies to my friends.

Now that Jonwon has actually coming in here with just a bunch of ridiculousness and lies, which is kind of what my quoted words were being twisted into anyways, I am going to step out of this discussion.

Tonight I have a "date" (as in plans) with my friend Shan. We are going to go grab some food and drinks (on me), then we will probably go to a new club in town and dance. I will probably dance with boys, he will probably dance with girls. If there are no good guys to dance with or creepy (I said it!) guys, or if a girl turns him down, we will dance with each other and show her what she is missing. He will probably buy me a drink or even two since I bought dinner. Even if I didn't buy dinner, he'd probably still buy drinks because he is hispanic and in his culture men pay for ladies period, whether they are cousins, dates, girlfriends, wives, friends, or even friends of friends. I usually sneak a round in when he is busy (talking to a girl)...

I am sure none of this is making sense to those of you who are challenged with members of the opposite sex, but long story a little bit shortened, we have a real good time when we go out and that is that. He knows I am not into him that way, and it is totally fine with him because he is not DESPERATE. If I stopped talking to him because heaven forbid he is a guy and must want to secretly fvck me and is awaiting his chance (which he has never tried to take advantage of me even in an inebriated state), then I am sure he would miss our outings, as well as the chance to get out of the house, go to new places he isn't aware of, and meet new chicks without being alone. Really same thing as with a guy friend... but I am a girl! And I am a lot of fun!

I would never want to hang out platonicly with a guy I was not into - who I knew only wanted to date me romantically - because it would be UNCOMFORTABLE. You guys are unreal sometimes.

Bye, boys! Have fun with each other!

 

[synergy1]

iqqi , I am all for hanging w/ my chick friends and hitting up the town on the weekends. But lets be realistic, the dynamic isn't the same. as I said earlier, once the ex was single, she had a few of her guy friends try and hit on her as soon as i left the picture. Evidently it was akward when they did this as she probably didn't see it coming, but I did. Sure , it wasn't all of them, but you could tell a good number were just hanging around because she was good company, but also to get laid. how do I know? they are guys, i am a guy..its pretty obvious.

I would never want to hang out platonicly with a guy I was not into - who I knew only wanted to date me romantically - because it would be UNCOMFORTABLE. You guys are unreal sometimes.

More of them want to date you than you know of. Sure, they keep it under wraps, but I promise you if you could read minds, you could change your stance here. Is it a bad thing? probably not. you can still enjoy their company and vise versa, but pretending that dynamic isn't there is the equivalent of burying your head in the sand.

 

[jonwon]

I'm sorry but there's no way your girlfriend was being serious, she was clearly joking and mocking the fact that her friend was shallow enough to ditch him on his job alone.
But then again I don't know your gf and if she wasn't joking I don't know why you'd date someone who'd genuinely think like that.

Let's peel away the onion.

I have never not once met or found a god's honest to truth woman, never not once.

It is like women claim they are vessels of higher virtue, to assume you knew exactly what my GF meant more than I do because she is simply 'female' is testament to the sister hood that goes hand in hand with female speak.

I think I know what my GF meant, you know I have been dating her for nigh on 5 years now.

To assume you know what she meant more than I do due to some female intuition further points out to the dishonest or truth twisting ways of the female mind when it comes to exposing the opposite sex.

Why can't you simply accept what she said was the truth, why does it have to be glossed over, spun and mixed around to have some softer, safer more female friendly meaning? A further illustration to the female double speak that can go on, why even respond to what I wrote? It is like skipping over the fact that I stated 'my GF' and then defending the female gender, because you know, me being a man, obviously read the situation wrongly.

On the contrary I read the situation right in all its female double speak glory, I simply presented the truth, something that women simply do not like to be presented with in situations like this, amongst others.

My GF actually apologised to me the second she said those words, because she knows I wouldn't approve, but they came out anyway, slipped right out of her dainty little mouth - I said to her afterwards "don't worry about it, if some loser wants to impress a woman he is dating by being a mug then that is his problem not mine"

As for dating a girl like my girl, your all pretty much the same, I just wade through your BS and accept what you are - but with a very good filter and in the shape of things the reason she is my girl is because she is up there with a small % of woman that are actually worth dating past simply fuc*ing.

As far as I am concerned, I'd rather date a girl who is honest than one who frequents sites for men offering tips to men on dating woman - but that's just me so take no notice. It is fitting in one paragraph you defended the actions of my GF because she was female, but you know just in case it was a blip then my girl is an exception to the rule and clearly a 'bad choice' because women 'simply are not like that' - let's cut the BS shall we.

And IQQI the guy sounds like a player, it sound like your both using each other for a crux to attract the opposite sex - I like the guy you described, but are you is real friend? I doubt it, soon as a nice piece of as* comes his way, your going to be trashed. I predicted your fall out with your last BF and I was right on the money.

IQQI I ment no offence, I personnally think you should stick around your a great example of how women operate, your a great addition to the forum.

 

[zekko]

Single people going out with members of the opposite sex on a casual friendly basis is one thing. But if the person is in a LTR then that is a different situation. I know married women who try to hang on to the idea of continuing to make and go out with male friends (on "dates" as Iqqi called it). It has not generally ended well. Women who think this is appropriate disqualify themselves as potential LTR material (for me at least).

But if the woman is single, who cares? It's true that often one of the persons is secretly is harboring feelings or expectations though. Not in every case perhaps, but in enough that you should be aware of it. This doesn't really matter to the attention wh0re who collects a bunch of beta orbiters as friends however. All that matters is that she gets her attention. Such a woman is generally unsuitable for anything other than FB status.