What's the correct response to "k we'll check it out"?

[lorekeeper]

I know I should be talking on the phone, but I'm really not nearly comfortable setting up a date over the phone, I texted a HB interest today and after the usual couple of fluff texts I sent a (texts paraphrased) "well let's discuss more over dinner, whats better tues. or wed?" to which she responded "tues: no, wed: is a question mark since i meet my friend for supper"

"7:30 wed. your friend will understand since you'll have more fun with me"

"lorekeeper, I'm broke I shouldn't be going out till i come back from HK and get a job"

I decided to go a little more aggressive and forward and said:

"sweety, I didn't ask if you were jobless, I didn't want to know how much money you have. I said I'm taking you out for dinner. If money really bothers you that much, then come over here, I'll cook"

"k, we will check it out"

now I KNOW that's a setup for a flake.

whats the best response for future reference? (should an obvious flake show up again) do I say "ok"? or do I blow her off like "Sorry, but 'we'll check it out' doesn't work for me. See you around" or just not respond and move on?

 

[lorekeeper]

well I ended up replying "heh, sorry but 'we will check it out' doesn't work for me "

 

[Bobby Rio]

What did she say back?

I just actually got a copy of Braddocks phone and text game... if you're really struggling with phone and text game you might want to check it out....

http://www.greatseducer.com/text

The girl seemed to be flaking off on you- but I'm curious to see what happened...

 

[mustfirstregister]

why don't you ask her what does "check out" mean? Does it mean a YES or NO?

 

[lorekeeper]

Hey bobby, I got a reply from her 5 min later but im at work and didnt have time to post.

her exact reply was: "hahaha ok i finish class at 430"

I was thinking about writing back something like "well I already have plans with someone else now.. missed our chance, how about thursday?" but that would probably be taking it too far.

it's the first time i invited someone over for dinner. I felt good after that responce, so I texted a current oneitis "hey there sleepyhead, you up for dinner tommorow chez lorekeeper? how's 8 sound?" she called me up a few hours later, said she's up for it but can we do it at 9.

never cooked for a girl before and now I gotta do 3 in 3 nights, unless wed. cancels. LOL. hoping for my first F-close before my bday, cutting it real close :S

mustregister: i actually thought of that "is that a yes or no?" but I was thinking it could be turned into a no, saying "that doesnt work for me" might be a DHV.

I'm reading too much into this, yes i know, but i'm hoping with training it will become second nature.

 

[yuppaz]

don't say you already have plans with someone else, she's agreed to let you take her IN. Easy lay, your about to over game

 

[Alle_Gory]

You need to socialize more and you will be able to make decisions about what to say.

Unless you want to come here every time and have someone hold your hand.


There is no "correct" response. Do what you want.

 

[lorekeeper]

yuppaz: good point.

Alle gory: Agreeed 110% however, I should have worded it correctly. Maybe "what is the correct response" should have been "what is the best response" I'd like input before or after, but mainly for future encounters.

as it goes, This HB has cancelled on me, and I don't think I played it as good as i could have (this is me withou handholding, lol, crash and buuuurn!)

lk:ill give you a shout tomm. after class
hb:can we make it coffee im supposed to see my stepmom
lk:go see her before. we're not meeting right after class, I'll give you a shout at 6-630 then!
hb: i wont be done till 8
LK: K. guess we'll cancel it then!
HB: we can do coffee after!
LK: Nah, it's cool. I'll invite someone else over. Have fun with stepmom!

THATS with no handholding I shoulda just gone for the coffee I guess. She never replied. Oh well.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Alle gory: Agreeed 110% however, I should have worded it correctly. Maybe "what is the correct response" should have been "what is the best response" I'd like input before or after, but mainly for future encounters.

That's completely different then.

I think you did very well. You saw her BS and pushed her passed it.

I think you should work more on the sale. You're going for the close too soon. She might be slow to warm up or you're moving too fast. Unless you have some kind of seduction skill or other trait like charming good looks, take your time. The less you have, the slower you must move in order to build up that momentum.

LK: K. guess we'll cancel it then!
HB: we can do coffee after!
LK: Nah, it's cool. I'll invite someone else over. Have fun with stepmom!

NOOO!

She gave you an alternative when you cancelled. You should have taken it.

Something like: "ok, well cancel it then." "ya coffee is fine, see you after dinner" or something like that, making sure to remind her that you're still going but with someone worth the time.

I think the reason she mentioned being broke for dinner is because she didn't want you to pay for it. She wanted to go dutch so she wouldn't feel like she owes you anything. Semi-interested at least. The fact that she even considers going dutch (my assumption) shows that she's not much of a user/manipulator since she's ok with paying for herself.

THATS with no handholding I shoulda just gone for the coffee I guess. She never replied. Oh well.

There's many reasons why she didn't reply. Wait a couple of days before passing judgment... just to be sure she didn't lose her phone for the night or forgot to charge it... etc.

 

[DonJuan11]

I know I should be talking on the phone, but I'm really not nearly comfortable setting up a date over the phone,

Not good to hear.

I texted a HB interest today and after the usual couple of fluff texts I sent a (texts paraphrased) "well let's discuss more over dinner, whats better tues. or wed?"

No good. You are giving her two options and telling her your entire night on Tuesday or Wednesday is free to have sex with her. That's not sexy. Stick with a certain day and time.

to which she responded "tues: no, wed: is a question mark since i meet my friend for supper"

"7:30 wed. your friend will understand since you'll have more fun with me"

No good. She rejected Tuesday and semi-blocked you for Wed and press the issue? You should have ended the conversation right there.

"lorekeeper, I'm broke I shouldn't be going out till i come back from HK and get a job"


I decided to go a little more aggressive and forward and said:

"sweety, I didn't ask if you were jobless, I didn't want to know how much money you have. I said I'm taking you out for dinner. If money really bothers you that much, then come over here, I'll cook"

"k, we will check it out"

now I KNOW that's a setup for a flake.

whats the best response for future reference? (should an obvious flake show up again) do I say "ok"? or do I blow her off like "Sorry, but 'we'll check it out' doesn't work for me. See you around" or just not respond and move on?

You have already lost the battle, you've pressed her and she's not comfortable. Just go with the flow now.

"k, we will check it out"
"I'll pick you up at 6:00 pm"

 

[lorekeeper]

Alle: lol, chalking this one up to experiance!

Dj11: I read that the "which day us better for you" is the best way to ask.

Anyways, I made a coffee run and while I was paying she texted me "But now i feel like a super *****! I had forgotten "

I'm going to go with "so how are you gonna make it up to me? "

 

[Alle_Gory]

AHA! So she IS still interested. Work on the sale. Make her comfortable before closing.

Needs just a little more...

 

[lorekeeper]

"so how you gonna make it up to me? "

" I will make it up to you by baking cookies."

will try a bit more but calling this one too low IL.

Also!!! I had another girl over last night cooked for her for the first time, a nice skratch made penne Alfredo with chicken broccoli and red bellpeppers. Had an amazing night but didn't k-close she's suggested we go to her friends house for my bday then hit the town.

Have another one coming over tommorow. Must k-close, this one has high IL.

In the short while on being on this forum and posting I'm actually starting to get over this social thing!!!

 

[Joe Stud]

had an amazing nite, but didn't even k-close? my advice to you is step it up. make the ho say no. you are going to bore her otherwise

 

[lorekeeper]

Joe: I competly agree with you. That one I have problems going in for the kiss. I'm pretty sure she's bored already

in the three days before my bday, I setup three dinners at my place. The first I posted above, the econd flaked on me (expected, will no longer contact her) the third in came over, my brother was over with his gf, I cooked steaks and vegetables and we all talked for a while, went to go watch some tv, she sat in my lap and complained about the cold so I got us a blanket. She started dozing off then said she had to go home.

I drove her home and when we pulled up I suggested let's grab some drinks at the bar. She said no and that I should come up and have one there (it is now my bday) we drank a few glasses of scotch and listened to some music, then "wicked games" by chris isaak came in and she dragged me to start slowdancing. We kissed, then she told me I had to go. We kissed again. She told me "I can't affored to have these feelings for you. You are too much of a good friend. I can't risk losing you" she couldn't even look me in the eye. She said "I dint trust men, which is why I date women" yadda yadda.

I told her that life is risk, and left.

The next day I was going to have a party at my place, but at 11pm I got super depressed, and texted everyone that the party was off and I'd hit a bar instead but didn't end up going. My brother had a few friends over, I played some poker and made it a night.

I'll see what I can pull off tonight.

 

[Joe Stud]

lore, stay the course. hang in there. i suggest hitting up girl number 3 to join you for drinks. get her buzzed, and bring her home.
ps... when u were covered by the blanket, you should have felt her up!

 

[amoka]

This is a train wreck. You messed it by saying you'd "invite someone else over". She did not flake on you... she gave you alternative time but you came out pompous by saying this. Forget about her... even if you ever get with her, she will alway see you as pompous and untrustworthy.

 

[sodbuster]

Just tell her,I'm busy the other nights-she'll make her own interpretation of that. She might even come to the right conclusion.Women communicate COVERTLY-learn from them

 

[lorekeeper]

LOL! what a weekend!

Friday, my birthday, I was going to have a bunch of people over. at 11:30 i started having a panic attack and texted everyone that it was off and I would see them at the bar. I didnt end up going. my brother had his friends over an i played some poker but ended up crashing.

The next day I had an eye infection. I stayed in bed till 7pm, got out, putzed around, and went to a friends place for an hour. the next day I couldn't see, so I stayed in bed. (could not put in my contacts, I have conjunctivitis.)

this morning, ALL THREE of the women are in a relationship according to FB. at first I thought it was a joke. I laughed about it. and now for the past 4 hrs my heart's going a mile a minute.

I don't know what to do. God I hope this is the wakeupcall i need.

edit: I know that there will be more, but I somehow can't help but feel its because of ME. I acted like I think i should have, yes i made mistakes, but I thought this was the best I've ever done in my life! if this is the best, and ALL THREE crap out... wtf?

ok, end rant. It's just a useless buncha words.

edit 2: probably overreacted. edited post.