What's that all about?

AlanB

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Recovering AFC, been lurking for a while, wanted opinions on this one:

Met a women in a bar last week, had a great night, snogging, dancing, hands all over each other etc. At the end of the night, I said I was going and was going to ask for her number but she asked me for mine before I had the chance so I suggested swapping. She called me straight away as I was there to check it was genuine (lol, I think I look suspicious giving my number because I was struggling to remember it because it was new). She sent me an SMS first thing the next morning, was SMSing me all day asking questions and complimenting me (She was looking at some pictures on a social network site and was saying that I was hot etc.) and carried on SMSing me all week; I wasn't even replying to all of them as I was busy and then I called a couple of days ago and said we should meet up tonight and she seemed keen; even SMSed me a minute later saying it was great to speak and she was looking forward to it. All the signs seemed right, she seemed to be in hot pursuit of me and then BAM... a few hours ago, she sends me an SMS (i.e. she doesn't call) to say, sorry something has come up can we reschedule it for another night? I tried calling a bit ago, no response but she sends another text message saying that she can't go into it but it is a family situation etc. but she was looking forward to meeting up and she hopes we can sort something else out.

1) What is this bullsh1t? I don't understand how she couldn't at least have called an offered a bit of an explanation seeing as she was chasing me all week and seemed really keen. That is of course assuming there was a 'family situation'

2) Should I even give her another chance or is that just too weak?

I know that the fact that I have let this bother me is the first mistake but as I said at the beginning, I'm improving all the time but am still pretty much a chump at these things but normally I can tell when someone is going to mess about or not and she seemed keener then girls I have been out with for long periods!
 

trverb

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man. jeez .

shes busy.

she offered an opening to out again, I see no problems here
 

AlanB

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Well, I replied saying something along the lines of thats a shame, hope everything is ok, you are obviously tied up so I will ring you in a few days and she responded to the effect of ok, talk later.

Just feel confused as to why she couldn't use the phone. If it was work, she would have had to have rung them and if it was that serious, she wouldn't have had time for SMSing either.

I think it is my attitude that is the problem, any setback brings the less manly qualities out of me and also, I can tell quickly if I actually like someone as a person and I think that this girl has something about her which is the wrong way to see it before I have got to know her better I guess.

Saying that, I do think that this was a little odd.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Yeah, I think she is being honest with you. Cause if she was just playing you to flake in the end. Why would she suggest to meet up another time. You will find out soon enough though what her intentions really are.

Here is some options
1.Wait for her to call you.
2.Call her up to see how she is doing and what happend.
3.Try again to set up a date.

If she flakes or rejects your second offer next her or wait till she calls you. BUT, don't sit around waiting for her. Meet other women in the mean time.

~EDIT~ Just saw your update. So, relax and let things play out. And like I said above meet and date other women...
 

AlanB

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I.A.F.Y.B. said:
Yeah, I think she is being honest with you. Cause if she was just playing you to flake in the end. Why would she suggest to meet up another time. You will find out soon enough though what her intentions really are.

Here is some options
1.Wait for her to call you.
2.Call her up to see how she is doing and what happend.
3.Try again to set up a date.

If she flakes or rejects your second offer next her or wait till she calls you. BUT, don't sit around waiting for her. Meet other women in the mean time.
Yeah, thats the other thing that pissed me right off, I had to turn down going out with friends because I had plans and now one of them is annoyed with me (cos I haven't been able to go out with them for the past couple of weeks) and now is saying he can't be bothered. Its too late to make alternate plans now, I actually feel like going solo and trying my luck, as I think if I had a go at something else in the meantime I would be in a better frame of mind for dealing with this girl.

I'll definately give her another chance I think, if I haven't heard from her in a couple of days, I'll probably just ring, chat as normal and ask her out again and see what happens. I suppose there is nothing to lose.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

AlanB

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Damn. Went on a site we're both on before and checked who was online and then noticed something. Guess I was wrong. Wish I hadn't bothered replying to her now and I was nice.
 

trverb

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Man your like a barrel of AFC over spilling just.............Play it cool

it something happens just have a "so ****ing what" attitude.
Dont dis your mates "bros before hos" and all that.
just learn to cool it dont think about this girl for awile go listen to some music ,bake a cake , smoke a joint something.

and get off this site for a while it can make your head spin with crazy ideas.

JUST PLAY IT COOL
watch james bond film and BE like that
 

ARrocket

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AlanB said:
Damn. Went on a site we're both on before and checked who was online and then noticed something. Guess I was wrong. Wish I hadn't bothered replying to her now and I was nice.
What the hell are you talking about???

But as to the OP, don't worry about it, sounds genuine. Just call her in 3 or 4 days...
 

AlanB

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trverb said:
Man your like a barrel of AFC over spilling just.............Play it cool
I know man, but I swear, 'twas a temporary glitch :). I'm still on the road to recovery but sometimes, I get in a bad mood and act like an idiot. I need to learn to control that and keep my smile, good mood and confidence a bit more constant no matter what goes on around me. As it turned out she started texting again and saying we should meet up the next afternoon. I couldn't respond straight away as I decided to follow my own advice and have a night out at a club on my own and to make sure it was a good one. After a couple of pints, I started to get in a good mood again and just told myself I was going to have a great night and I did. Was dancing like a wild man, chatting to loads of girls and inviting myself to join big groups sitting down all night. If people asked where my friends were, I just told them that they had gone home but I was having such a great day that I decided to stay out. I think I managed to turn this around so that rather then people thinking I was pathetic, they were impressed that I was man enough to go and enjoy a club on my own (which was what it actually felt like to me). I ended up going back to some girls house for what was supposed to be a party (but there was only me and three other girls there! lol) The two who didn't live there ended up going home and I ended up snuggled up on the couch with the girl whose house it was. We were chatting for a while and she said she had to go to bed and asked if I was staying, so I said yes and went in her room. She went out to get some water and when she came back, I had taken my gear off and gotten into her bed. She joked when I came back that I was a bit forward so I laughed it off and said no, it looked too comfy, you should come and join me. So ended sleeping with her. She wasn't as good looking as the other girl but at the end of the day, it has put me in a pretty good mood. The other girl was texting the next day asking if I still wanted to meet up in the afternoon but I was too tired and would have only been able to stay a couple of hours (family commitment that evening) so I just suggested another night and she seemed keen.

So the advice is true - if you are worrying too much about a girl, you need to be out looking for others first and then reasses your attitude. I'm still gonna pursue the original girl but I now feel that I am mentally back on track and am thinking more like a man about things. Might even see the other girl in the meantime for a bit of a laugh.

This forum is a good place to vent though, rather then end up making an idiot of myself in front of a potential HB ;)
 
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