What's next? Looking for points of view

[New_Journey]

We all talk about self improvement, which is one of the pillars of masculinity. But what happens after you don't have more dragons to slay?

I'm 35, I can say I made it in life according to my goals. Good career, working on my business, financially great, own a moderate sized house, great health, women are not a problem. I don't plan on having kids, so... what's next?

I'm not looking for directions, looking to read point of views of people who made it. Right now, I'm very content with my life, I'm out of dragons to slay, right now I'm coasting and doing side quests like a video game.

I don't need more money, I don't want a bigger house, I don't want another car. Is this it? What happens after you've completed your achievements?

There is a saying that goes "Never meet your heroes, they will disappoint you" Maybe this is the mid life crisis everyone talks about.

 

[jhonny9546]

I experienced that crisis even before reaching my goals.

Simply learning the truth about some things you thought were secure, and instead, you discover everything later.

It's a bit like finding out that your wife's candidiasis is caused by the fact that she has a circle of 5 or 6 men who are going back and forth into her when at the same time, you're at work, giving your all.

I believe my approach is consistent and based on passivity. I don't try to maximize my qualities to attract women, but rather focus on myself as a kind of "magnet" that naturally attracts. I avoid artificial games and seductions, believing that true attraction should be natural. I've noticed that this approach works in various contexts, even by attracting men, who want be a friend. I think that something positive attracts positivity, while something negative attracts negativity. Seduction should be innate and not forced.

I focus on becoming a confident and structured person, and I believe this is what attracts women. When you're a complete person, you don't need to resort to tactics to impress others. However, I must be cautious with women who are already committed, because they are drawn to me.

Having said that, what kind of career do you have?
What do you mean by being financially okay?

 

[Sophisticator]

I don't need more money, I don't want a bigger house, I don't want another car. Is this it? What happens after you've completed your achievements?

Set a new, higher goal. Something that has nothing to do with the achievements you made.

 

[The Duke]

I'd set my goals higher and add a few more. Broaden your outlook on life. Enrich your mind. Go help others. Learn knew things. Take up new hobbies. Improve your people skills. A man knows little at age 35. Happiness, achievement, satisfaction, and sense of accomplishment aren't about money.

About a year ago or so you created a machine shop/fab business, and you are telling me you are out of dragons to slay? Your business must have really took off. I've never known anyone that had a successful business that didn't consume them and require huge amounts of time.

 

[jhonny9546]

I've never known anyone that had a successful business that didn't consume them and require huge amounts of time.

What scares me the most about having it, or being a successful freelancer, is precisely this.
It could be lucrative but at the same time alienate you from the simple things in life, and change what "wellbeing" mean to you. I can see this everyday with my BIL which go work an night hours till morning.
Rich, yes, but wealthy not.

But this comment resonate a bit with me

That's what a man does-he works. Somewhere along the way, probably due to the miasma of anti-productiveness in hollywood and the media, we got the idea that life is something to be taken easily.

It isn't.

It is not ours to coast downhill, destined to crash into the first chance ditch.

It is not ours to wander around in confusion about what we are supposed to do.

It is ours to work-that is our freedom. A free man is one who takes responsibility for his existence, and an honest man is one who knows that he is worthy of whatever he can produce.

So work to start a business, work to invest, work to innovate and create and expand, work to build a monument of your life to the world. Many say that I have an old man's mind in a young man's body-I say, it is I who know the secret of life: to live it.

To live is to expand, and to expand is to work. All growth and expansion is the product of honest, intelligent, and diligent effort; anything else does not make the grade. Becoming the best man you can be does not come cheaply; the best man is the man who is willing to earn whatever he is single-mindedly, doggedly pursuing. Discipline is the currency of the best men.

So earn your rightful place as a captain of industry, as a pillar of the community, as a ripped athlete, as a sharp entrepreneur. You can be any and all of these things, if you are honest enough to know that you have to earn it, and confident enough to know that you can.

I've shown to myself that I could do it, with other things but not work yet.
I struggle to find "the profession" where it says "work to start a business, work to invest, work to innovate".
So I'm actually in @New_Journey state, but different, because He actually find what to do, but I still need to find.

It would be curious to know, how did you find yours

 

[New_Journey]

Simply learning the truth about some things you thought were secure, and instead, you discover everything later.

But learning about what specifically can benefit me in my position? Like what?

I believe my approach is consistent and based on passivity. I don't try to maximize my qualities to attract women, but rather focus on myself as a kind of "magnet" that naturally attracts. I avoid artificial games and seductions, believing that true attraction should be natural. I've noticed that this approach works in various contexts, even by attracting men, who want be a friend. I think that something positive attracts positivity, while something negative attracts negativity. Seduction should be innate and not forced.

I focus on becoming a confident and structured person, and I believe this is what attracts women. When you're a complete person, you don't need to resort to tactics to impress others. However, I must be cautious with women who are already committed, because they are drawn to me.

You goal is attract women, not mine, I'm looking at life in general.

Having said that, what kind of career do you have?
What do you mean by being financially okay?

Engineer.

What do you mean by being financially okay?

I live a comfortable life.

Enrich your mind. Go help others.

I've been doing this, I feel that very fulfilling btw.

About a year ago or so you created a machine shop/fab business, and you are telling me you are out of dragons to slay? Your business must have really took off. I've never known anyone that had a successful business that didn't consume them and require huge amounts of time.

My business will be a success because I don't care whether is not. I'm not the typical "hustler" who is consumed by his job or business, I love to live life.

I've never known anyone that had a successful business

I hope you stay in this forum cause I'll be the first.

It would be curious to know, how did you find yours

Since I was 5 years old I was making these things for me and my friends in the neighborhood, since then I've expanded my knowledge on inventing and fabricating things.

I've shown to myself that I could do it, with other things but not work yet.
I struggle to find "the profession" where it says "work to start a business, work to invest, work to innovate".

What was passion you had since you were a kid? When you were able to stay until very late at nigh doing for pleasure, that is your passion, follow that. When we are kids we don't have responsibilities, we follow our passions.

That's why I know my business will be a success, because I am doing exactly what I've been doing since a kid and until the day I die as my most loved hobby.

Thanks for the reply to all.

 

[plumber]

We all talk about self improvement, which is one of the pillars of masculinity. But what happens after you don't have more dragons to slay?

I'm 35, I can say I made it in life according to my goals. Good career, working on my business, financially great, own a moderate sized house, great health, women are not a problem. I don't plan on having kids, so... what's next?

I'm not looking for directions, looking to read point of views of people who made it. Right now, I'm very content with my life, I'm out of dragons to slay, right now I'm coasting and doing side quests like a video game.

I don't need more money, I don't want a bigger house, I don't want another car. Is this it? What happens after you've completed your achievements?

There is a saying that goes "Never meet your heroes, they will disappoint you" Maybe this is the mid life crisis everyone talks about.

Sounds normal to me.

Everything we do is because we feel like it. Just as you manage your body, money, family and spirit is it also helpful to manage our feelings and mind. Difficult.

As a fellow engineer... we succeed when we solve something. Often the process to solution involved discovery of all the symptoms and causes or desired results. Do the same thing with feelings.

Risk/reward. It sounds like your situation is safe for you. Is that good for bad for you ?

Perspective... spend some time doing volunteer work in lower income areas. Get to know a couple of the people in that place.

Much of our feelings are controlled by chemicals. Directly/indirectly, some of the supplements that commonly go with huge muscles do cause our feelings to change. Deeper than the obvious ones everyone knows about.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Are you doing what you feel like doing at any given moment? That is success to me.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Psychedelic Mushrooms are great for brainstorming these kinds of things OP. Or having the answers present themselves to you, potentially.

 

[New_Journey]

Psychedelic Mushrooms are great for brainstorming these kinds of things OP. Or having the answers present themselves to you, potentially.

I wanna test those but I'm just scared man, the only drugs I've done is weed when I was in college, and gummies.

Have you done them? They say they help you fix any childhood trauma that you have.

 

[Sophisticator]

I wanna test those but I'm just scared man, the only drugs I've done is weed when I was in college, and gummies.

I would suggest not taking them when you're by yourself, but to have a trusted person with you who will safeguard your health and gets medical help in case anything turns wrong. Shrooms are not liable to kill you, but anything that influenced your perception can turn dark.

Have you done them? They say they help you fix any childhood trauma that you have.

Childhood traumas don't get fixed by magic mushrooms. They're not that kind of magic.
Perception altering drugs expand your mind and will dredge up stuff you have compartmentalised and hidden away. The confrontation can help you deal with the issues that come from the trauma, but the trauma itself remains and will be something you will have to deal with when sober again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You've never made it. The only thing to do when you reach your goals is to set new higher goals.

There is no such thing as standing still you are either moving forward or backwards.

Until you can go out and spend $5 million dollars on a whim and not even worry about it, you haven't accomplished anything, which is the boat most of us are in.

 

[jhonny9546]

Everything we do is because we feel like it. Just as you manage your body, money, family and spirit is it also helpful to manage our feelings and mind. Difficult.

Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think (Taming the Mammoth) - Wait But Why

We all care way too much what other people think of us. Here's why.

waitbutwhy.com

An interesting reading