Whats Her problem

[HotDog]

*********************ATTENTION HELP******************

Allright guys since your all MASTERS at this. I need some serious help with this, I only have 2 days to make this work.


Here goes I met these 2 woman at my workplace. One will be Holly "The one I want" and the other will be Fatty. They are both friends outside of work. Well Holly has a serious boyfriend that she lives with. Myself and Holly would spend time at work talking and we went to lunch all the time together. She would invite me to her house and to parties and to bars. She eventually told me that she wanted me and she claims to have wanted me as soon as we start talking at work. She never left her boyfriend for me, however he supports her and I can't. I kind of feel she may have been an attention *****.


So Holly quit and got a new job. She told me she would be in to see me. A month went by and all of a sudden Fatty told me that Holly tried to call me the other day but she lost my number so she asked for my number again. A few days later Holly called me and asked me to come over and visit with her. I declined becuase of things I have read in the bible. I didn't want to her to think that she could say jump and I would jump. So she gave me her phone number, without me asking for it, and told me to give her a call sometime. Now the next day at work Fatty said that Holly is coming in so we can have lunch together. Holly came in and left without eating lunch because she just got back from the doctors and he told her she had cancer.


Now I know how stupid and AFC this is but. The next week after Holly called me I asked Fatty why she called me after a month and wanted me to come over. She claims it was to just hang out, but I think it was for some attention. I told some really really really dumb stuff to Fatty, such as I am going to school for Holly "which is not true", I asked if I would ever be with Holly. and just basiclly really stupid stuff. I said all those things trying to get at the truth which to me is that Holly likes my attention and wants nothing more from me. I told Fatty not to tell that I asked those stupid questions. I am not dumb I knew she would tell her but I thought that was my protection because if Fatty was not supose to tell her then Holly could not hold these things against me. I am not sure that Holly was strictly an attention ***** because she would kind of try and take care of me and do things for me. Do attention *****s do things for u and take care of you??????????????


So a little over 2 months has passed and I have never tried to call Holly and she has never called me again. I asked Fatty if she ever told Holly the stuff I told her and she swears up and down that she didn't. I asked this maybe 3 weeks after I heard from Holly. I then said if u didn't tell her then why haven't I heard from her then and she says because she is dealing with her cancer and some other problems. Fatty is the type of person who knows it all and puts her nose into everybodys business. Fatty will tell me whenever Holly comes to our workplace, she will bring her up in convo I assume these are HINTS for me to ask about Holly or say something about her. I NEVER mention Holly to fatty. Now Fatty is quitting and I have 2 days.


I want
1. To be friends with Holly. Now the main question is How can I let Fatty know that I want to be at least friends with Holly without looking Like a fool/ a bigger AFC in short what would the DJ way be to handle this..

2. What could the reasons that Holly doesn't call me are? Is it maybe because I have never called her?


I know that I have a major case of Oneits already. and yes I tried to forget about her but I still would like to at least be friends.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Dude, let it go.

You openly admit you have one-itis, yet you're trying to rush to make friends with Holly in two days before your 'liason' with her dissapears. And she hasn't even tried to call you in a month. Why in the world would you want to be friends with her RIGHT NOW, so immediately, if you aren't harboring some hopes that you'll get with her? Or is it that you just have a feeling of *need* to be around her?

1) I'd say your assesment of Holly is probably accurate, she's an attention-ho.

2) Even if she's not an attention-ho, you still screwed up with her and have dismal chances with her.

3) You are obsessed with her (i.e. one-itis)

Doesn't add up that you should try to make her your friend. Unless you were good friends in the past or something, a 'friendship' between you and Holly would do nothing burt hurt both of you. It wouldn't be beneficial for you, b/c you'd still like her and get a high from being around her, only to come crashing down when she eventually rejects you or dates someone else, and it also wouldn't be good for her, b/c she'd hava a guy for a friend who is only really there (when you get down to it) because he likes her. Your post sounds like you could give a flip about her cancer, you just want her attention.

One-itis is like a cancer (coincidentally). You have to remove the cancer --in this case, Holly-- so you can save the rest of you.

So, don't go for friends. I'd HIGHLY advise you just let her go, and find other chicks. If you MUST, make a real move with Holly, set up a date (you still have her # right, you don't need to talk to her friend to contact her), and if she accepts you, good. If she rejects you, move on. The cancer issue makes this tricky, however. Again, moving on is your best bet.

Trust me: avoid becoming friends with a girl that is the subject of your one-itis. It's painful.

Good luck- E-Z

 

[HotDog]

Why in the world would you want to be friends with her RIGHT NOW, so immediately, if you aren't harboring some hopes that you'll get with her? Or is it that you just have a feeling of *need* to be around her?

I would have to say both.

Doesn't add up that you should try to make her your friend. Unless you were good friends in the past or something

We where friends for about 8 months before anything came out about us wanting each other. Fatty even said to me when I said that stupid thing about Holly Don't you just want to be her friend? I said no at the time. but now I want too and that is what I am asking here how do I go about letting her know I want to be friends without looking like a fool...?????????

Your post sounds like you could give a flip about her cancer, you just want her attention.

I do in fact care about her cancer. I did ask Fatty is Holly had her surgery to have it removed and she said ""Yeah A LONGGGGGG time ago"" so I don't know if she was annoyed that I asked or if she wondered why it took me so long to ask. I know this is stupid but I actually care for Holly we was friends first ,, but yes I do love the attention.

The cancer issue makes this tricky

I don't understand.

(you still have her # right, you don't need to talk to her friend to contact her

Is this a good idea? I don't want to call her after 2 months I am worried that she does not want me to call her....

 

[NewMan]

Stop being such a pvssy and call the girl.

Are you going to sit there all day and umm and arr, and think is she going to call me? and wonder? and jerk off? and be alone?

Or are you going to pick up the phone and call her?

If she doesn't want you to call, she wouldn't have given you her number.

And if sh#t is happening with her, she will let you know.

But for god's sake call her and ask her to lunch.

Now go do it.

 

[echo1212]

If you were such a good friend to her, seems the least you could do is to be a human being and call her to find out how she's doing with her cancer. Quit thinking with your d1ck so much.

 

[HotDog]

posted the same thing twice sorry

 

[HotDog]

Originally posted by echo1212
If you were such a good friend to her, seems the least you could do is to be a human being and call her to find out how she's doing with her cancer. Quit thinking with your d1ck so much.

I hear you loud and clear. I want to call her but I am afraid that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.


What I am really really really Fuxking sick about is Fatty and her constant butting in on everything. She tells me "I" don't want you to hate Holly not Holly doesn't want you to hate her. She fuxking acts like she is Holly's fuxking mother and it makes me sick.

This has caused me some severe depression. I had to start taking Lexapro. I just want Holly to say get lost or yeah we will be friends, so I can finally put this behind me and be friends or move on instead of this constant wondering.



Fatty will tell me whenever Holly comes to our workplace, she will bring her up in convo I assume these are HINTS for me to ask about Holly or say something about her. I NEVER mention Holly to fatty. another thing I know this is stupid but There are these stupid paper pumpkins all over our office wall and they have peoples names on them I ask Fatty who's is the person on this fuxking paper pumpkind and she tells me and starts telling me what Holly's fuxking pumpkin at home looks like, I am like WTF. So are these some kind of fuxking ******** hints????

Now I have been reading the bible and I want to turn my life around but is this the way woman work like Holly and Fatty???


If Holly wanted me to call or talk to me wouldn't she either call me or have Fatty ask why I have not called???????????


Thanks Guys

 

[NewMan]

I told some really really really dumb stuff to Fatty, such as I am going to school for Holly "which is not true", I asked if I would ever be with Holly. and just basiclly really stupid stuff. I said all those things trying to get at the truth which to me is that Holly likes my attention and wants nothing more from me. I told Fatty not to tell that I asked those stupid questions. I am not dumb I knew she would tell her but I thought that was my protection because if Fatty was not supose to tell her then Holly could not hold these things against me.

Fuxking sick about is Fatty and her constant butting in on everything. She tells me "I" don't want you to hate Holly not Holly doesn't want you to hate her. She fuxking acts like she is Holly's fuxking mother and it makes me sick.

I think you brought that on yourself to some extent. Stop talking to Fatty about sh#t.

And Call Holly.

Dude, you've got to call her.

Don't worry about what she thinks - It's about YOU not her.

You want to call her so go ahead.

 

[HotDog]

I think you brought that on yourself to some extent. Stop talking to Fatty about sh#t

You got that right!!!! I appreciate you pointing this out to me. I really learned a lesson. I also hate Fatty now.


Fatty will tell me whenever Holly comes to our workplace, she will bring her up in convo I assume these are HINTS for me to ask about Holly or say something about her. I NEVER mention Holly to fatty. another thing I know this is stupid but There are these stupid paper pumpkins all over our office wall and they have peoples names on them I ask Fatty who's is the person on this fuxking paper pumpkind and she tells me and starts telling me what Holly's fuxking pumpkin at home looks like, I am like WTF. So are these some kind of fuxking ******** hints????

If Holly wanted me to call or talk to me wouldn't she either call me or have Fatty ask why I have not called???????????

 

[So pimp its scary]

Allright, I didn't even READ your post because I knew what had to be said before I even clicked the link...

Asking 'what's her problem' is a waste of time. Her 'problem' is that she isn't interested enough... just knowing that she has a problem that would warrant this type of post .... NEXT!!!

Don't dwell on the shyte. Drive yourself crazy trying to figure out a woman like that... anyway, ttyl.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Originally posted by HotDog
If Holly wanted me to call or talk to me wouldn't she either call me or have Fatty ask why I have not called???????????

Who knows? How are we, some random guys on the internet, supposed to know that?

If you actually CALL her...you'll most likely get an fairly good idea of if she wants to talk to you or not.

However, I still think that you are using the "I just wanna be friends" bit as an excuse to get to be around her. I can see myself doing that a few yrs ago. It's my personal opinion that you should wait a good while before you call her to re-engage your friendship (assuming her cancer isn't terminal and she doesn't have long to live- if that's the case then fvck chatting on the net and call her right now).

But, if she's doing alright, then I'd say take some time for yourself and move on, improve your life and attitude, improve your social life, and then go get some ladies. THEN call this chick up and be friends. IMO this is the only point in time that you can REALLY be friends with her, and not a wannabe suitor.

Hope this helps- -E-Z

 

[HotDog]

However, I still think that you are using the "I just wanna be friends" bit as an excuse to get to be around her

Oh sure to be Honest yeah thats why I want to be friends with her. I really have no other use for her. Now the thing is She quit working with me and I never seen nor heard from her for a Month then she contacted ME. When she contacted me she still had the same boyfriend so what was she calling me for? I told Fatty if Holly didn't break up with him then why is she calling me and she said don't you just want to be friends with Holly. I like an idiot said No. Then she starts going on about how she liked guys in the past whom either had girlfriends or didn't like her Fat AZZ so she chose to be friends with them instead.

It's my personal opinion that you should wait a good while before you call her to re-engage your friendship (assuming her cancer isn't terminal and she doesn't have long to live- if that's the case then fvck chatting on the net and call her right now).

Well its been 2 months already isn't that long enough .... and No her cancer is not terminal.. They removed all of it and she should be ok.

Fatty will tell me whenever Holly comes to our workplace, she will bring her up in convo I assume these are HINTS for me to ask about Holly or say something about her. I NEVER mention Holly to fatty. another thing I know this is stupid but There are these stupid paper pumpkins all over our office wall and they have peoples names on them I ask Fatty who's is the person on this fuxking paper pumpkind and she tells me and starts telling me what Holly's fuxking pumpkin at home looks like, I am like WTF. So are these some kind of fuxking ******** hints????

Again Thanks guys you really are opening my eyes. I have been reading the Bible alot more tonight so I don't have to go through this HeII ever again.

 

[Ice Cold]

I didn't want to her to think that she could say jump and I would jump.

ARG! You're so dumb, also blind.

The girl throws so many indicators of interest and you just don't see them. She's ready. She told you about it. She showed it to you.

Just invite her for a coffee near your place, then take her to you room and fukk her.

 

[Ice Cold]

Reading the rest of your post, I can see myself a few years back. lol

Just drop her. You don't need a girl who has cancer, esp if you didn't get involved with her before she got it.

Stop being so naive. Read the bible. Start bootcamp.

You need practice. Just approach.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Just some reactions follow. BTW--you need to hear what NewMan says---he doesn't explain it, but that's the attitude you need to adopt. You're over-analyzing and pvssing out at the moment.

Originally posted by HotDog
I kind of feel she may have been an attention *****.

This seems to be your pet theory and appears to be getting in the way. From the info in your post, I don't quite get that. I'd suggest putting that idea on hold for the moment, or come up with more evidence for us.

...and all of a sudden Fatty told me that...
...the next day at work Fatty said that...
...I asked Fatty why...
...I asked Fatty if she ever told Holly the stuff I told her...

I cut these from various parts of the narative.

Here's a major part of the problem. NewMan cut past this whole issue and told you to go to the source (Holly) directly. Why he said that is that both YOU and HOLLY are going thru Fatty. Fatty isn't being a c0ckblocker like many in her position would--she's relatively blameless. Holly's trying every which way to get to you and to get your attention without completely compromising her pride. The real problem and the real fault lies primarily with you. Fatty shouldn't be any part of this. Holly wouldn't have to use Fatty if you'd act like a man, take the initiative and call Holly directly, immediately, and ask for a flat out, no-question-about-it date. Like, yesterday.

...A few days later Holly called me and asked me to come over and visit with her...
...So she gave me her phone number, without me asking for it, and told me to give her a call sometime.
...The next week after Holly called me she called me after a month and wanted me to come over. She claims it was to just hang out, but I think it was for some attention.

I see 2 things here:

1) Holly really wants to get together with you and is reaching out in whichever way she can; and

2) This is an example of your pet theory getting in the way. She's not an attention wh0re that I can see, she's really very interested. She actually wanted to get together with you because she likes you and wants to get things started.

I told some really really really dumb stuff to Fatty, such as ... I asked if .... and just basiclly really stupid stuff. I said all those things trying to get at the truth which to me is that Holly likes my attention and wants nothing more from me. I told Fatty not to tell that I asked those stupid questions. I am not dumb I knew she would tell her but I thought that was my protection because if Fatty was not supose to tell her then Holly could not hold these things against me.

You realize your mistake and I won't repeat the obvious.

What I will point out is that you're still going through Fatty when you should cut the game playing and trying to get God himself to give you a green light when you got a blazing green light 2 months ago.

I am not sure that Holly was strictly an attention ***** because she would kind of try and take care of me and do things for me. Do attention *****s do things for u and take care of you??????????????

You don't trust this theory here in this situation. Good.

So a little over 2 months has passed and I have never tried to call Holly and she has never called me again....Now Fatty is quitting and I have 2 days.

...I want to call her but I am afraid that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

Good news for you---er, probably good news, that is.

Holly's interest level is/was probably high enough that you can, as NewMan said, pick up the fvcking phone and call her like a man would and get things started again.

She's stopped calling and reaching out because she extended herself as far as a healthy, normal woman could. Anymore extending and she will have humiliated herself. This means Holly is a quality chick, IMHO.

Remember this: CALLING is YOUR JOB--not hers. Don't expect her to call. Don't read anything into that. It's YOUR job, no one else's.

She may think you are a pvssy--largely, I think, because you've been acting like one. Don't take that wrong, we've all acted like pvssies before (search my name and you'll see my threads admitting to as much.)

What this means is that she's given every blatant green light that she could, acting exactly like an interested woman would, and you've not responded like an interested man.

She may think you're not interested.

She may think you don't have balls enough for her.

She may come to see you as a boy, not a man.

She may think you're gay.

But I think her IL is high enough that she will overlook this. But--!!! But--!!! She won't just give it to you now, you're gonna have to work for it. She's going to distrust why you seem interested all of a sudden. Is it for just sex? Does he (you) think she'll be easy? Maybe there was another woman and that didn't work out, so she's 2nd or 3rd choice?

And she has a healthy sense of pride. If dumbshyt you couldn't take it when it was handed to you on a silver platter, then you can work for it like everyone else. Good for her, IMO.

I want
1. To be friends with Holly.

Fvck that! No you don't want to be any "friends" with Holly. That's pvssing out again! I don't believe you when you say that's what you want. I've seen nothing in your thread that leads me to believe that. I think you want Holly. So cut the crap and go get her!

Now the main question is How can I let Fatty know that I want to be at least friends with Holly without looking Like a fool/ a bigger AFC in short what would the DJ way be to handle this..

By not saying a fvcking thing to Fatty. Stop going through Fatty. If it was REALLY friendship you wanted, then you'd have no problem just picking up the phone and being friends.

But you can't. You're busy pvssy-footing around with Fatty. This is why I believe you really want to go on a DATE and GET TOGETHER with Holly.

If not, why the big production?

2. What could the reasons that Holly doesn't call me are? Is it maybe because I have never called her?

<Tesque slaps forehead in frustration, moaning...> ..it's your job, it's your job, if she did anything of the sort now, she'd be humiliating herself...

I know that I have a major case of Oneits already. and yes I tried to forget about her but I still would like to at least be friends.

Fvck that. You want a relationship. Fvck the "at least friends" crap.

...When she contacted me she still had the same boyfriend so what was she calling me for?...

She wants you to take her from her BF, IMO. Any "boy" couldn't take her. Guess who could?

 

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by HotDog
I know that I have a major case of Oneits already. and yes I tried to forget about her but I still would like to at least be friends.

Look, you know when you wake up in the morning all tired and you don't want to get up for work so you cheat in an extra couple minutes. Those minutes are scientifically proven not to give you any more energy throughout the day, but you crave them every time you wake up and get nothing out of it,

Same here. You wan't her, so you are assuming that if you gradually lessened your feelings (just be friends) it will be better for you. But, its simply not true. By staying friends with her you are only giving yourself a link on which to keep building emotions and that is not going to help you. Being friends will ONLY hurt you. So, do yourself the favor and spare yourself the heartache.

And... oh, do kill that desperation.

 

[HotDog]

I kind of feel she may have been an attention *****.This seems to be your pet theory and appears to be getting in the way. From the info in your post, I don't quite get that. I'd suggest putting that idea on hold for the moment, or come up with more evidence for us.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=39247 That link is the first part of why I have been told she is an attention *****. Also she has a boyfriend who supports her and their kid and I can't support her. When she first came on to me I know Holly and her boyfriend where fighting. I also heard that around the time she called me 2 months ago he was going to leave her. I tried to Kiss her and she rejected me but she said I told you not at work. She will not kiss me but she will feed me share her food, we would smoke the same cigarette so I guess she was not disgusted with my mouth LOL. I suppose I could go on if I had to.


Fatty will tell me whenever Holly comes to our workplace, she will bring her up in convo I assume these are HINTS for me to ask about Holly or say something about her. I NEVER mention Holly to fatty. another thing I know this is stupid but There are these stupid paper pumpkins all over our office wall and they have peoples names on them I ask Fatty who's is the person on this fuxking paper pumpkin and she tells me and starts telling me what Holly's fuxking pumpkin at home looks like, I am like WTF. So are these some kind of fuxking ******** hints???? So are these Hints if so what the heck do they mean.


Thanks guys I will read the responses and I will make the call wednesday or thursday.

 

[usdaprime]

Fatty will tell me whenever Holly comes to our workplace, she will bring her up in convo I assume these are HINTS for me to ask about Holly or say something about her. I NEVER mention Holly to fatty. another thing I know this is stupid but There are these stupid paper pumpkins all over our office wall and they have peoples names on them I ask Fatty who's is the person on this fuxking paper pumpkin and she tells me and starts telling me what Holly's fuxking pumpkin at home looks like, I am like WTF. So are these some kind of fuxking ******** hints???? So are these Hints if so what the heck do they mean

Looks like Hints to me Boss. BTW tell this to Faty Go Get Bent You Fat Fu_K

 

[HotDog]

Ok guys let me know what u think of this and I will do what needs to be done and also I will quit going through this girls friend. I tried to make this a little better sounding so she didn't think i was such a big dork like if I said will she allow me to still call her.

ME: I am going to call her.
Her: Well call her then.
Me: I don't want to call her if she hates me now.
Her: She does not hate you.
Her: What do you want to talk to her about.
Me: Just to see hows she has been.
Me: Well she is not going to get mad and Yell at me for calling after all this time.
Her: I don't know or she said I don't know I don't think so. I forget which she said to me

So please tell me if this sounded bad. I am not sure how to take it.

Fatty will tell me whenever Holly comes to our workplace, she will bring her up in convo I assume these are HINTS for me to ask about Holly or say something about her. I NEVER mention Holly to fatty. another thing I know this is stupid but There are these stupid paper pumpkins all over our office wall and they have peoples names on them I ask Fatty who's is the person on this fuxking paper pumpkin and she tells me and starts telling me what Holly's fuxking pumpkin at home looks like, I am like WTF. So are these some kind of fuxking ******** hints???? So are these Hints if so what the heck do they mean


Are these Hints or not???? Thanks guys HeII maybe I will actually get to talk to a woman

 

[HotDog]

Can anybody please help with my last post in this thread????

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