What's Her Interest Level? Confused.

[Atom Smasher]

Like I always say, the worst thing a man can do (and unfortunately most men do this), is to broadcast that you’re “all-in”.

One of the first orders of business is to make sure she thinks you are uncertain about her. We men don’t understand this, but women love the uncertainty of whether a man likes them or not.

Women never fall in love while they are together with you. They do that when you are apart and they are thinking about you.

Give her the gift of missing you. Let her imagination do the work of attachment.

 

[manfrombelow]

- Met a Tinder date at a Starbucks for some night coffee recently. We make out during the date.
- We have a good time. Tons of laughs. She invites me to her friends birthday party on the same night. We bounce off together.
- We dance and make out. She had the whole starry eyes situation. Intensely looking at me. Holding each other's hands. Had her arms around me. It just got really heavy and was epic.

1. Good job. So far so good.

- Next day, I ask her out again to come party with me and some friends because my friends wanted to check out a new place that had just opened in town.
- She comes but throughout the whole night she was much more reserved than before.

2. By asking her out the VERY NEXT DAY, you became needy and chasing. You should have waited for at least a few days for her to contact you first and only then you ask her out. This is why she "was much more reserved"

- We'd kiss but the kisses were weak. Her pulling away with our short make outs. She constantly looks around the room. Hold her hands, again she will eventually pull her hand away. Basically everything felt weak. Yet she did not outright reject my advances. It just felt like me endlessly pushing because the energy wasn't returned.

3. No surprises.

- Yet she stayed with me till the end of the night. She never bounced. So I tried to close the deal and suggest continuing things at my place but she said another time. And overall just felt distant.
- The energy was very different. Literally 24 hours apart.

4. So despite the weak vibe, she still stayed until the end of the night, yet you still failed to escalate.

But I'm really not too sure what's happening in this situation.

5. She lost interest. It's simple as that.

What do you bros think.

What would you bros do in terms of next steps.

6. Cease all contact with her immediately and start hitting on other women in the mean time.

 

[manfrombelow]

Hey everybody.

Thank you all for responding.

So it turns out it was a combination of what most of you were saying.

Just an update from my side for anyone who ever find themselves in the same rut:

- She eventually reached out to me on her own and asked me out for some drinks at this new bar that opened.
- So it was just me and her and this time it was very clear she is very interested. Starry eyes again.
- The bar being new was quiet and mostly empty; so we were back to that initial level of passion again.
- Yet when I kissed her outside in the street, she was more reserved.
** So it seems to me that she has an issue with public affection. **
To be honest this is really new for me because I've never had an issue with girls in terms of public affection. Maybe I've been lucky. But I' always thought if you're really into someone, public affection is unstoppable. So I will see how this goes.

Anyway, I DO THINK, that what most of you were saying is right, especially @catsmeow (btw I've always really loved your sharing on the forum).

I should have let it simmer on for longer to really get the butterflies going again.

But funnily enough, despite the fact that we had met frequently, the level of energy seems quite high, meaning the IL might be very high.

So her IL for you seems still positive. Next date: Ask her to bring some wine to your house to make dinner together, and make sure she's fvcked well.

 

[Bingo-Player]

OP you are in way way too deep

You need to take a step back and realise you have been on two dates with a girl

Why are you wanting her to be " starry eyed" it just sounds like something that would happen in a romcom

Why are friends on both sides being introduced within the first week of meeting ?

Why are multiple dates being arranged within days of each other

All of it is too sickly

Pull back put things on ice for a week or two and let the emotions reset.

 

[manfrombelow]

Why are you wanting her to be " starry eyed" it just sounds like something that would happen in a romcom

Exactly.

Fvck "starry eye BS", fvck the chick instead.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Hahaha thanks my brothers.

I needed a shake down from you guys.

Yeah I'll chill it for a bit and f*ck her soon.

She's just really hot. Perfect blonde. Like one of those Sports Illustrated girls. Perfect 10.

But yes she's not perfect. Need to simmer down.

Like I always say, the worst thing a man can do (and unfortunately most men do this), is to broadcast that you’re “all-in”.

One of the first orders of business is to make sure she thinks you are uncertain about her. We men don’t understand this, but women love the uncertainty of whether a man likes them or not.

Women never fall in love while they are together with you. They do that when you are apart and they are thinking about you.

Give her the gift of missing you. Let her imagination do the work of attachment.

By the way, really liked this. Well written.

 

[Foe]

Chick chiming in, and sorry to say but agree with the guys, it was overkill.

I suppose there is a reason why guys preach so hard about waiting a few days to call and ask a woman out again after a great date.

It gives her time to think about the date, think about you and wonder about you, which in early days increases attraction.

Did he like me? Will he ever call me again? Why isn't he calling me?

She's thinking HARD about you and becoming more and more anxious AND intrigued with each passing day! This is a good thing imho (as a woman).

Now if you were to get on a woman's forum, they will scream the opposite.

That if a guy doesn't call the next day asking her out again, or preferably ask her out at the end of previous date, next him. He's playing games or not interested.

Don't believe it, it's totally BS. And I'm a woman saying that! Lol

A highly interested woman will NOT lose interest if a guy she likes doesn't call for a couple of days. NOT gonna happen. She may pretend she lost interest to shyt test you, but don't buy it, it's a test.

On the other hand, you DO risk her losing interest if you act too thirsty and ask her out too soon, and the next day was too soon imo and experience.

The confusing part is that she accepted your invite! I would NOT have, even if highly interested. I like to let the date marinate in my head for a couple of days, I like missing him and wondering about him.

Then when he reaches out after a few days (if I don't reach out first telling him I had a great time which I typically do), it's exciting, my heart starts beating, my pvssy juices flowing (i.e tingles lol).

That's the beauty of those precarious early stages - the uncertainty. But it's exciting, no doubt about that.. Assuming high interest from both people.

Anyway, this is all speculation really. We're not this girl and no one can say for sure what's going on with her.

P.S. Another possibility is that during your first date, she may have been high on something, like cocaine or another endorphin inducing drug. Or she's possibly BPD.

I mean her behavior was quite over the top for a first meet off an app -- invites you to her friend's party, lots of making out, starry eyes, intensely looking at you, her arms wrapped around you . You described her behavior as really heavy and epic.

Second date she was her normal self.

Again all speculation, but yeah agree you should wait several days and reach out again.

Good luck!

Yeah I was thinking she could have been in drugs in the first date and coming down on the second....

 

[RangerMIke]

She knows you like her and want her... now she has to figure out if she likes and wants you.

You were moving too fast for her comfort level. Two dates in two days is too fast.

 

[Murk]

Should have banged her after that first perfect date, or after your 3rd seemingly great date.

OP why can't you close?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Should have banged her after that first perfect date, or after your 3rd seemingly great date.

OP why can't you close?

Logistics, dude!

Date 1. She had to send her cousin home.
Date 2. I did try to close. Was rejected.
Date 3. I had to sort out an errand.

I'm going to try make something happen next

 

[bat soup]

Logistics, dude!

Date 1. She had to send her cousin home.
Date 2. I did try to close. Was rejected.
Date 3. I had to sort out an errand.

I'm going to try make something happen next

Generally speaking, when a woman is interested it's crystal clear.

Anything less than that and it's likely that she's just giving you the runaround.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Logistics, dude!

Date 1. She had to send her cousin home.
Date 2. I did try to close. Was rejected.
Date 3. I had to sort out an errand.

I'm going to try make something happen next

These are things that happen when a woman isn't interested in banging you. I promise if she wanted to bang you it would have happened within the first 3 dates or would have made sure you knew beyond a doubt she was interested.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hey everybody.

Thank you all for responding.

So it turns out it was a combination of what most of you were saying.

Just an update from my side for anyone who ever find themselves in the same rut:

- She eventually reached out to me on her own and asked me out for some drinks at this new bar that opened.
- So it was just me and her and this time it was very clear she is very interested. Starry eyes again.
- The bar being new was quiet and mostly empty; so we were back to that initial level of passion again.
- Yet when I kissed her outside in the street, she was more reserved.
** So it seems to me that she has an issue with public affection. **
To be honest this is really new for me because I've never had an issue with girls in terms of public affection. Maybe I've been lucky. But I' always thought if you're really into someone, public affection is unstoppable. So I will see how this goes.

Anyway, I DO THINK, that what most of you were saying is right, especially @catsmeow (btw I've always really loved your sharing on the forum).

I should have let it simmer on for longer to really get the butterflies going again.

But funnily enough, despite the fact that we had met frequently, the level of energy seems quite high, meaning the IL might be very high.

If your not fvcking her it's pointless. They can string you along in the position you are in and strip you dry.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

She doesn’t happen to be a medical student/in medical field?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Seems like you are way more into her than she is into you and you invited her out the next night which makes you seem like you have no other options. She senses desperation with a guy trying to GF her up after one date.

Also, if you have to wonder what her interest level is after two dates and are "confused", it's nowhere near high enough.

this, plus OLD can really tease you like that because most of the women on there are bull shvt. I do think you gave out I want to be your boyfriend vibes though.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

She doesn’t happen to be a medical student/in medical field?

No. She works in retail.

Why does her job matter?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

By the way as an update, I ended up sealing the deal with this chick.

We had a park stroll one night with some ice cream and I then invited her over to my apartment after, and we just f'cked a couple of times.

But she seems a bit aloof still, so maybe the IL is not fully there yet. Who knows.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

By the way as an update, I ended up sealing the deal with this chick.

We had a park stroll one night with some ice cream and I then invited her over to my apartment after, and we just f'cked a couple of times.

But she seems a bit aloof still, so maybe the IL is not fully there yet. Who knows.

Nice work. I've dated chicks like this before...

Sometimes that's just how they are...used to have a woman who wouldn't text very frequently but always wanted to see me when I asked her to do stuff with me and always banged Everytime I saw her...

But, there is also a chance that you aren't really what she wants so she will date and fvck you for now until she finds someone more to her liking.

Been with both types.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

By the way as an update, I ended up sealing the deal with this chick.

We had a park stroll one night with some ice cream and I then invited her over to my apartment after, and we just f'cked a couple of times.

But she seems a bit aloof still, so maybe the IL is not fully there yet. Who knows.

Just keep fvcking her.

 

[RBK]

Some women I've learned are just flighty. Usually happens with hot girls as they have so much attention. I also learned when I am sitting trying to evaulate a womans actions I'm already losing the battle as women don't think like this. We are logical, they are not. They are emotional and their moods change 10 times a day.