What's going on?

[dronkitto]

Hey guys, long time no see, I'm posting back here cause I hit a problem I can't even pinpoint.

I could say I improved myself in this time, my looks, clothes, doing interesting stuff, confidence when talking to girls, been going out more, getting a bigger circle of friends, etc. I know I am noticed by women when I'm in a place and stuff.

I recognize I dont practice a lot. It's a small city and often attend the same places and one can't be hitting on everyone. I just make friends, meet girl friends of friends, chat, flirt, hit on the ones I like.

The thing is, I see tha tin the beginning, first time we meet or one of the first times, all goes great, my stance is very sexual and pretty clear I want her, from her I get all laughs, no resistance to kino whatsoever, etc. But I get the following all the time: impossibility to isolate the girl from our group of friends (oh no! blahblah excuses), or if we end up alone somehow, the "moving away her face" when I approach to kiss, followed by a burst of bullsh*t.

Then it always comes to her adding me to facebook next day (for the anti-facebook I explain that here facebook is omnipresent, if you don't have it you don't exist, also, texting may be seen as needier than facebook). For a couple days she initiates conversation, tells me/asks me all about her/me, all laughs, etc., invitations to hang out sometime, to do this and that.

And two days later, boom, no contact, total coldness, no response, total flake on attemps to get together for those things we talked. In a few weeks it turns to plain no-response.

Of course all advice I get is "she's obviously not interested, move on, blah", but I saw her, she was interested! I must have something lacking, IDK.

My guesses are being too sexual from the beginning and little rapport, having a weird sense of humor that she just stands because I look good (?? lol). From one of them I got a "I don't believe what you say to me" cause I used to tell her she's cute and stuff like that. Maybe they see me as a player/guy who falsely compliments girls or tells them he likes them a lot (sorry I don't know the english word). Maybe they spy me on facebook and see I comment on a lot of girls and tell them flirty stuff? I'm coming to believe some women talk sh*t behind me (small city)., IDK.

The thing is I'm stuck on that cycle, great beginning, total loss of interest, move on, great beginning, total loss of interest...

any expert's advice? thanks!

 

[Greasy Pig]

I've only accepted chicks' friend requests after I've banged them. And even then, very sparingly.
Almost inevitably I'll get a message or text saying: "Hey, why won't you accept my friend request?"
I just say: "Yeah, I'll get around to it." Or just throw a random non-sequitur.

Don't be too eager to jump straight in with women. They love mystery and ****iness. Maybe you're divulging too much of yourself early on in the interactions and killing their curiosity.
My attitude is that women have to earn my time, acknowledgment and intimacy. And when I give it, it will be on my terms.

I don't answer all of their questions and keep out interactions very playful and with almost constant negging or C&F.
I think this makes them want to unlock the mystery and they know the quickest way to do that is to spread their legs.
Even then I'll only drip-feed them snippets of information. Each time they fvck me, they get rewarded with a little morsel of truth.
Keep it mysterious and stay a bit aloof. Avoid serious conversations and interview-style questioning. Keep it light and funny.
Nothing makes a girl wetter than laughter.

 

[Uncharted]

I've only accepted chicks' friend requests after I've banged them. And even then, very sparingly.
Almost inevitably I'll get a message or text saying: "Hey, why won't you accept my friend request?"
I just say: "Yeah, I'll get around to it." Or just throw a random non-sequitur.

I purposely do not friend request any chick, and if I get a friend request from one I do not accept it unless we've been dating and sleeping together for a while. I don't have any coworkers on FB either, just people I'm actually friends with. If she asks I just say something like "oh I never go on Facebook anymore". If she protests, I say something like "why do you care about something so silly?"

To the OP, even if she is flirting and all over you, if she's not willing to meet up just you and her then she's not interested. She just wants your attention.

 

[TheException]

It's a small city and often attend the same places and one can't be hitting on everyone.

The small city bit is just an excuse. Men use it to justify their lack of results. And any case if it seems like your "hitting on a girl"....your doing it wrong. Make conversation, physically escalate, etc but dont be the chump that "hits on" every woman at the bar(think college days folks).

As far as the girl...i agree with uncharted. There could be a thousand reasons why shes giving your attention in the first place....but if she never wants to meet up for a date, shes not interested.

 

[dronkitto]

Well thanks guys, specially Greasy, you gave me something I can work on, at least.

I can try and be a bit more reluctant to/on facebook, but believe me, in this country it's a must.

I don't hit on every chick, though in a small society (friend of friends) being known to hit on more than one a year is already conspicuous, lol.

I hear you in that the small city may be an excuse. Of course I know guys who get all the p*ssy anyway (though they have a-the drugs or b-play on bands, department in which I'm working on, lol). Ironically, the guy I know to have the most p*ssy is a facebook "star" with tons of photos and thousands of "friends" and sh*t. And I'm talking about a 30-yo. Man, I don't understand what the hell does he do, he's a natural, I guess, he is regularly doing 3 girls probably and I see with my own eyes how they live in total ridiculous denial of his other adventures. Meanwhile I'm struggling here with some of those girls' girl friends even accusing me of being a player, oh, downer, totally unexplainable

What I need is to know what the hell I'm doing wrong and what can I do. Well, thanks.

 

[Kailex]

Well thanks guys, specially Greasy, you gave me something I can work on, at least.

I can try and be a bit more reluctant to/on facebook, but believe me, in this country it's a must.



What I need is to know what the hell I'm doing wrong and what can I do. Well, thanks.

Whoa, whoa, WHOA.

First of all, re-read your own post. Didn't you notice WHERE it goes downhill? You STOP being a challenge as soon as you accept that friend request.

Facebook is a must? No it's not. Breathing is a must... Facebook is optional. I have YET to have a Facebook, let alone even fathom the notion of ever adding someone to any type of social media that gives them a wipe open door to my life.

We are TELLING you what you are doing wrong.
It's not just adding them to Facebook... it's the symbolic act of what it means. It means you are very willing to just reveal every bit of yourself at the drop of a dime. If they request you on Facebook, you Ignore it. Let them ask you why you won't add them or why you are ignoring them or if you have something to hide...

But that is above and beyond better than just adding them just because you THINK it gives you a better chance. It's what's killing you right now.

I have scored plenty without ever engaging in social network. I don't get where this belief comes from that you NEED it...and quite frankly, it's disappointing to me.

 

[VladPatton]

Facebook is not a must in any shape or form. Believe it or not, people in your country went on dates, got laid, and started families pre-Facebook. Stop the Facebook crap. All girls wanna do is spy, snoop, and creep on you to pre-qualify you. No. That's too easy, and not fair to YOU. If they wanna find out about you they have to go out on a date. If Facebook is so HUGE where you live, you need to start mackin women, not little girls. Good luck going on a date with a chick that has her eyes 90% of the time in her phone.