whats a good approach? you guys tell me

[sexy_kuta]

so i been reading up on different approaches and there are too many ways and confusion..

so i wanna make this thread to clear other ppls mind up,


so for an example you and ur friend are walking in the mall and you see this fine girl looking at a shirt or something and u ALONE walk up and comment on the shirt shes looking.. so there would be the first thing.. then you would start talking, asking questions that would only help you

such as
-whats your name
-where you from
-what are your interests.

those are the only thing im only concern about

but when i start talking to them, usually when i ask their interests.. things like what they like to do on their spare time,

i usually get the flirting in

when a girl says she loves playing basketball,
i would flirt about her height and she would laugh and go with the flow
but i always get stuck after that..

i dunno what to talk about, i just end up asking questions, i wanna make her feel more comfortable and i KNOW I can do it! i just get all caught up,

i been reading soo many different threads about wheat, and such other things... but which one is the right fact?
im looking for the type of approach to meet a girl... spend time with her after, and MAYBE if things go smooth, create a LTR

so your help would be very greatful

 

[sexy_kuta]

i usually talk to random girls that i dunno if they have interest in me but i just talk to them!

i usually get them to laugh a little but not enough to "want to know me"

i met like 4 girls in the past week and the connection between me and them were all the same.. wasnt going no where

i just wanna improve my game. i been reading a whole bunch of stuff and its all different and its confusing me sometimes

so i usually start off by saying..

-hey how you doing

-whats your name

-what area u from?

-what do u like doing on ur spare time

and then after this point i usually get the feeling that i am boring them by asking questions after questions,
i get stuck
after i find out their interests i would flirt with them,

I always smile and laugh.. and they tend to do the same but after

i get the email addy or number either one..

i feel uncomtertable asking if they want to hang out after like im getting the feeling that i havnt talk to them enough and they might get all scared cuz im a stranger, and i havnt created a strong enough connection

so i think my main problem is the connection how to create a GOOD connection

 

[Ace of Flames]

when it gets to the part where u're just asking questions, offer for her to hang out with u and your friend(s). u said u're in the mall, u all can walk around together. then its not u walking up to her and trying to ask her stuff, its all of u guys hanging out. its a different situation. then, when either of u have to go, tell her u had a great time and go for the number, or something along those lines.

maybe after that, when u go to ask her out again, u wont feel so strange, since hey, u've already spent some time together! makes sense? it'll also help her remember u better.

most important of all, dont be unsure of yourself. u're the man! these chicks laughed and flirted with u, they gave u their number, why wouldnt they wanna spend more time with u? just throw on a little more confidence.

good luck man, tell us how stuff goes.

 

[sexy_kuta]

i offer to hang out once and i got the vibe from her like "i dont know u and im not ready to hang out yet"

so in other words i have to get them interested in me.. i know with the right connection i could do it easily

 

[Ace of Flames]

less questions, more teasing. it seems like an interrogation when u just sit there and rattle off your list of questions. u need to look like an easy-going guy thats fun to hang out with, and that isnt a threat. maybe that'll help.

 

[spitkicker]

being a good conversationalist is about calibrating to the situation and mixing questions with comments and statements.

The main thing you want to do is bring their personality out by asking open ended questions and then relating to them.

A better connection is made when you get deep rapport and start asking about feelings. So if a girl tells you she's a law student, follow up with "how do you like studying law?" and not "do you like studying law?"

Then relate to the emotion she gives you.

I have stuff on this in my blog and in another post entitled "campus pickup" or something like that. Just posted today..

 

[Distant Light]

Your going in trying to get rapport and hoping for her to get rapport. In the beginning you should be using 90/10 rule and just getting her attracted to you, not you trying to gain rapport with them. THe most common mistake alot of guys do is going in trying to take value, by saying hey whats sup or hi etc. If you want to consistently get chicks and not end up playing a numbers game then play it right. Don't go in there trying to gain rapport build attraction and then gain rapport.

 

[DonMEgaHoss]

Ahem today I was working at the pool ( lifeguard here baby ^_^ ) saw some fine a good solid 8 in some bikini top and those kinda bottom where there a cross between panties and short shorts... that hug the ass cheeks... *drool* got some vibes but was gonna approach none the less cause that how we do..

I had seen her before so she'll be back
Convo was like this

Me: Done swimming so soon are yah?
Her: Yeah I just came in here to yadayaya
Me: Well... You didnt do that much.
Her: I just came in here for the pleasure of swimming alittle..
Me: Sly smile "Really?"

She was walking away from me to the womens lockers door.

Me: Where you going? Just gonna leave me hangin' I need some company to keep me awake (hint hint)
Her: Well I gotta do blah blah blah
Me: I take rainchecks and/or mastercard and visa's and I dont like checks that bounce!

Her: Okay, here...( I punched the number in my phone with her name. And A Don Juan is always prepared so I wrote mine on a peice of paper and such.)

Rest is history in the making

Oh sorry I rambled on about this ahh a good generic opener I like to use is the usual

Hey/hi/hello how are you doing?

Then follow up with ( for ex. They feel good/great/ok/fine whatever)

I say well you look it. With a sexy smirk ofcoarse

or I find out their name by something like whats your name beautiful thang?

Ofcoarse use complements sparingly but another one I like to use

You look sizzlean' like fine cousine' ( Im a cook too so I think about words pertaining to cooking/food pretty easy.)

 

[sexy_kuta]

can someone explain this 90/10 rule?

 

[DonMEgaHoss]

90% on her and 10% on you in convo and all..

 

[spitkicker]

actually, the 90/10 rule is the opposite. It is 90 percent you, and 10 percent her. In my opinion, it is not good advice.

Yes, you must warm up to them first, but do it in the correct context. If you just go up to someone and hit them over the head with a funny story or start cracking jokes, out of no where, it is not warm, it is weird.

Instead, craft questions to draw them out of their head and then share your stories and experiences first, in order to warm them up.

Question
Deeper open ended question.
your story or experience
they respond
proceed as usual..

 

[sexy_kuta]

so just do the fluff talk.. then add in comments/flirting stuff

then ask her interests and keep doing the flirting stuff threw the whole conver,

i been trying online dating and i met like a few outside of the "internet" world.. its soo much easier finding girls on the net but they all seem the same. boring and plain and desperate.. i met my ex through my cousin, thats how i hooked up

so i guess i should be out more and trying that out

 

[spitkicker]

Kuta. The MOST important thing is getting out there in the real world and interacting...

Stay away from the online game, its mental mastrubation and is only taking away from what you could be doing in real life.

 

[sexy_kuta]

your right and im beginning to see it

most online girls are all the same.. BORING.. and they seem desperate

theres this one girl at superstore that i am determine to meet.. thing is seen her there all the time and she sees me too.. we plays played the eye contact game.. smiling at each other but now she just tries to ignore me but i always catch her lookin at me.. im thinking she started giving me bad looks

i dunno why.. i am going to ask her for help the next time i am there

 

[Bonhomme]

One that follows indicators of interest from the gal.

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Stop thinking so much and just be comfortable.

 

[spitkicker]

Focus on girls that you have never even seen before. This will help you be less connected to the outcome. You will place less weight on the interaction and as a result, you will be more relaxed and ultimately more seductive. Don't focus on just one girl - this is a recipe for disaster. At first, at least.

 

[j8snx1]

spitkicker said it right when he mentioned that you have to warm up to the girl first using simple things like "Hi, how's it going?" or open-ended questions(usually using the environment) and branch off the convo from there.

What I mean is...using your example at the mall:
So this girl is looking at a shirt or something, and you approach.
What I'd do is something like this: (no keyboard jockeying guys, this is one of my strategies for mall hunting )

Me: Excuse me, you look like you have a sense of fashion; could I ask you a question?
Her: Sure.
Me: How well do guys go with pink?
Her: I think some guys do and some guys don't. (making em up as I go)
Me: What do you think about me and pink?
Her: Hmm...it goes well actually (using this since I had some girls tell me I go well with pink.)
Me: ***C/F alert*** (sly smile) haha, no I dont. that's just an excuse for you to compliment me,

or whatever, I dunno. Conversation usually isn't a problem if you're relaxed and open-minded. I try not to think of what to say, unless I become AFC all over again.

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Originally posted by spitkicker
actually, the 90/10 rule is the opposite. It is 90 percent you, and 10 percent her. In my opinion, it is not good advice.

You also stated elsewhere that you think it's wrong to make statements and it's better to ask questions. Then you said how great the Juggler was.

The Juggler method actually says that 90/10 rule is good and that you should make statements instead of questions. There was also no campas pickup thing in your blog, I don't know if you just said that to advertise.

 

[blinkwatt]

Originally posted by Ace of Flames
less questions, more teasing.

EXACTLY!