What would you think if...

[Oyabun]

...there was a girl at your office (your type, of course) who yaps to you for hours after work until the wee hours, spilling it out, private stuff - you know the deal - even forsaking weekday beautysleep time to do this, and further, hangs out at the beach with you (weekday) until 1-2am, etc., but makes absolutely no physical contact, does not go into boyfriend/girlfriend talk, and doesnt initiate everything. needless to say, the boy does very little talking, just enough to coax out more from the girl. the boy generally wouldnt spend all this time, but the girl is easy on the eyes. this, of course, all under wraps. they arent college kids shooting shyt in the dorm, everybody has to work tomorrow morning. during the day, it's all professional, no talk during the day, neither initiates. of course, you dont treat it like some ho you picked up in the bar as a workplace scenario requires somewhat more delicate care.

ok, i know i'm gonna get a thrashing here, but i've been through the DJ bible, have lived the DJ philosophy since my mid-20's, etc., am familiar with the DJ code and rules, etc. but need objective outside perspective on this to see what it looks like to others.
i know the 'workplace' stuff, the 'oneitis' stuff (it's not), but want to clinically get in the opponents head to fight a good match but may be to close to it and want a detached perspective. so if you have ideas pls present it from other than those angles, thanks.

btw, the girl isnt american (white) but latina.

 

[decades]

she thinks of you as her girlfriend....congratulations!
what's in it for you? I've been there. Its kind of an ego stroke
for you but it ends up being exhausting. What are you getting out
this? What are you feeling? Get in touch with that. Seems like
a big investment for not much of a payoff.

mike

 

[stevera004]

Why do you post in the third person? An attempt to pshychologically distance yourself from the truth (i.e. you're being used and being a complete AFC)?

If you enjoy it; that's fine. But don't pretend that the situation is other than you wanting to jump her bones and her not wanting to do same.

 

[Chrispy]

Hey: ya, I know many people are against the workplace dating thing, but when you spend half your waking hours at work and don't have as many options to PU or work other girls, why not give it a try? You only live once...just remember though that there's always office gossip, and you don't want to give a boss a reason to get your ass fired.

The latina part may be important - maybe she's just very bubbly and friendly...and VERY open...i think that's a very good thing. It does sound, though, that she's very focused on herself, and does not give you that much attention...so you should keep that in mind that she may be high maintenance.

The ONEitis thing though may be setting in - don't let her take ALL your time that you're not looking at/for other women!

 

[princelydeeds]

Welcome to the friend zone! Population: You! You're her girlfriend, no doubt about that. Put some space between the two of you.

 

[mysterymanelp]

just a friend

just like princelydeeds put it your her friend. There is pretty much nothing that you can do. If she had any interest in you bf wise she would not have told you all the secret details about herself. You can give her space and blah blah blah, but your still gonna be in the friend zone.

My best advice use her for something good like as ur wingman. You both get something out of the situation.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

The only woman I talk that much to is a good friend and she is a lesbian. So it's pretty obvious to both of us that neither is interested sexually. What do I get out of it? A pretty cool chick friend with no bull**** that I can talk about music and other interests, and someone I can hang out with if I don't feel like dealing with other women or my guy friends. She certainly has an interesting perspective on things and there's no sexual tension.

But would I befriend a straight girl like that? Well, it better be clear that neither party has any interest, otherwise it's a one way street for one of us to extreme frustration.