What would you do if you found the "one" too early?

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

If you were only 21 yrs old and found yourself in a perfect relationship with a beautiful woman would you feel torn what to do?

If you should stay with her, ultimately leading toward marriage? Or leave her, risking everything to have the exciting option of fvcking new girls?

Ive been dating a perfect girl; she obeys and wants to be led by a strong male, isnt clingy, has plenty of other interests and friends, great to talk to, lots of common interests, understanding, forgiving, doesnt question my authority, loves sex and adventurous, and truly loves me.

Not to mention shes the sexiest girl ive ever dated, I dont think I could ever do better. She has guys approaching her all the time but she only has eyes for me.

I love her but in the back of my mind I feel like I need to leave her because of my young age. I only have a year or two of college left and im considering going into the navy to be an officer after because of the terrible condition my current field is in. If im going into the navy we would most likely split up, so why wait to break up when I can do it now and meet new women?

growing up sucks

 

[Jitterbug]

I'll leave your decision up to you, but keep in mind that you can line up replacements much more easily while you're with her than after you break up with her.

 

[EvilAgenda]

Perfect is boring.

 

[st_99]

so why wait to break up when I can do it now and meet new women?

because you already said you can't do any better. thats why.

 

[Noodles]

Ive been dating a perfect girl; she obeys and wants to be led by a strong male, isnt clingy, has plenty of other interests and friends, great to talk to, lots of common interests, understanding, forgiving, doesnt question my authority, loves sex and adventurous, and truly loves me.

Not to mention shes the sexiest girl ive ever dated, I dont think I could ever do better. She has guys approaching her all the time but she only has eyes for me.

Why not wait until she's not those things? Hey - maybe it'll be perfect forever. If not, as is likely, while not enjoy it while it last and ejects her later when things go south?

I only have a year or two of college left and im considering going into the navy to be an officer after because of the terrible condition my current field is in. If im going into the navy we would most likely split up, so why wait to break up when I can do it now and meet new women?

Considering...but haven't yet done it. Why are you worrying about this? Enjoy life and stop making complications - they'll happen all on their own. If you join the Navy then make the choice then. It may be you still want to keep things going.

 

[Illuminatus]

Why not wait until she's not those things? Hey - maybe it'll be perfect forever. If not, as is likely, while not enjoy it while it last and ejects her later when things go south?



Considering...but haven't yet done it. Why are you worrying about this? Enjoy life and stop making complications - they'll happen all on their own. If you join the Navy then make the choice then. It may be you still want to keep things going.

Great reply. +1

 

[loveshogun]

If it's too early, she can't be "the one."

So really, a guy will need to free himself of the paradigm that states there's "the one" for anyone. Leads to a lot of one-itis.

So, I guess to answer your question, I would leave the relationship.

Of course, when I was 21, I was just a little less experienced than I am now, so I wouldn't have left, when I was 21.

 

[TheJazz]

Sex is easier than love. It's easier to fake a smile and brag. If you truly believe she's the one, and she really does seem like it, stick with her. It may be hard for a while, but so much more fruitful.

 

[Vice]

The phrase of "the one". Always makes my face contort with its cheesiness and just... lameness.

 

[movistar]

I wouldn't leave something you enjoy, while you're enjoying it. I do think 21 is too young to settle down, you haven't dated much yet at all. Enjoy the relationship while you have it, you have plenty of time to get some new chicks.

 

[f283000]

When you're young any female that gives you the time of day "is the one"

Let's face it. We were inexperienced, we were dying to have a female in our lives, any female! So when you finally got a woman in your life it felt like heaven, it felt like she was the one.

IF you keep going the dj path which is the path of self improvement and conquering women most of the feelings you had about women when you were young will be gone.

You will realize how shallow and horrible human beings they can be. They will no longer be the precious pure angels we often think of them when young. You will start seeing them mainly for secks.

So my advice to you is simple. Keep gaming women. When you're older and you see women for what they really are AND THEN you find a woman that is actually different from the rest then that I would consider "the one."

After you have years of experience in this game, learn the truth about women, have passed hundreds of their sh|t tests, have suffered through countless hours of their drama, have run through a bunch of them and when you see them as pieces of meat only good for secks, then out of nowhere one comes to make you feel LIKE IF YOU WERE YOUNG AGAIN, that could be considered the one.

 

[Upside]

No such thing as "the one". Most guys at least will always find girls that are compatible to some extent, some more so than others. Even if you think you did find the best quality girl possible for you, there others just as good if not better. It is just that the current emotions cloud judgments. Quality girls are difficult to find, but it doesn't mean they don't actually exist.

 

[JxcelDolghmQ]

"The one does not exist."

"Perfect is boring."
- Pook

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Lots of bashing for using the word the one. I agree its a pathetic concept, i just needed to use a word in the title that I knew would get some views. I dont believe in there being "one perfect match" for everyone, there are potentially many different matches depending on your personality.

Im not sure if perfect is boring applies to a relationship, at least for me. I dont want a women to start problems in the relationship just because "perfect is boring." If your bored you need to learn how to do interesting and new things. Thats my opinion though.

When you're young any female that gives you the time of day "is the one"

Let's face it. We were inexperienced, we were dying to have a female in our lives, any female! So when you finally got a woman in your life it felt like heaven, it felt like she was the one.

IF you keep going the dj path which is the path of self improvement and conquering women most of the feelings you had about women when you were young will be gone.

You will realize how shallow and horrible human beings they can be. They will no longer be the precious pure angels we often think of them when young. You will start seeing them mainly for secks.


After you have years of experience in this game, learn the truth about women, have passed hundreds of their sh|t tests, have suffered through countless hours of their drama, have run through a bunch of them and when you see them as pieces of meat only good for secks, then out of nowhere one comes to make you feel LIKE IF YOU WERE YOUNG AGAIN, that could be considered the one.

Shes not the only female that gave me the time of day. I feel like I already went through these phases in high school and first year of college. I have had plenty of relationships with a variety of women, 20+. I already went through my phase of thinking women were sh1t and trying to slowly recover from it(im extremely sexist because of this site and trying to recover to a healthy amount of sexism lol..)Even though im in a relationship doesnt mean im not constantly trying to self improve, ive been at this website since early 2006.

So your saying that if I ran into a girl just like her in every way, only ten years down the road then it would be okay to commit to her?

I just cant see myself wanting to be with any women who has been sexually active for almost two decades... the number of sexual partners a women has had doesnt bother me for the most part but after years and years of multiple relationships its hard for someone to suddenly switch to monogamy. My pathetic self-centered generation cant handle that transition, leading to failure in marriage. For years that women was able to just break up and leave the relationship when things went south, they dont know how to work on a relationship and rebuild it, they just want the easy out, to quit and divorce.

Im just fvcking confused and torn what to do and im not getting any younger. I have all kinds of conflicting beliefs.

 

[grmol95]

Need Your Advice

Hi, so many years later i could not be in more of a similar situation to you right now! I know in my gut I've met the *vomit* "one". i have been in 2 long term relationships and have dated many other guys and i just know this person is meant to be in my life. Perfect doesn't sum it up! i mean our arguments are perfect, I know countless of people will disagree with me and say you're far too young to know yet, and ill always meet someone just as wonderful later in life. I want to assure you I'm not the head over heels fall in love time. we are not by any means a cheesy couple, in fact posting this goes against all my beliefs :L i have never felt a more close trusting attachment to someone and i know if i let go I'm accepting now at my age that i won't ever find love like this ever again. If you could please please tell me how it worked out for you after all of these years i couldn't appreciate anything more! I finally have found someone on this planet who can give advice to their younger self because I'm in the exact same position you were in. Hope you read this <3

 

[YawataNoKami]

There is no such thing as "the one".

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I agree there is no such thing as "the one" but if you enjoy with her, be with her for however long it last

 

[Moroder]

she obeys and wants to be led by a strong male (...)doesnt question my authority

You are too insecure to be in a relationship.

 

[RangerMIke]

Definintion of "The One" by gender:

Male: A women you love and can see yourself spending your life with, someone you are willing to give everything up for.

Female: A man that in the current flux of my emotional state, meets my emotional needs. I don't think this will change... but if it does.... oh well, he better change to meet my needs or I will leave... OH one more thing, if he changes for me then he's not a real man... I need a man... so oh well, guess it's time to move on. Heck I have a pvssy... there will be another. Start new cycle.

 

[salinechow]

First, if you have learned anything in your time here it is YOU are the "ONE"

Second, if the girl is enjoyable, adds to your life, brings out good things in you, dont break up with her on some altrusic whim or some age driven mathmatical equation. Hang out with her and enjoy her. Seriously, this is a question. Stop complicating good things.

Third, dude you are very young still. This is awesome! You will have plenty of time to wtch her change into someone else that you no longer like as much. Thats when you walk. When that happens youll still have plenty of time to enjoy what it is you are thinking you want now.

Stay. Enjoy. Keep being you and pursue your goals. Ride the wave together and let the downfall happen naturally. Then, and only then, do you turn around and paddle back out for another wave.

Stop thinking about marrige and other women right now. Focus on what you have in the moment if its good. Life will handle the rest.