What would be your advice for the husband here?

[MatureDJ]

http://news.yahoo.com/marriage-slovenly-wife-brings-man-close-tears-050211010.html

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 40 years, and it's just the two of us. I work full time and make a good living. We have a large house in a great neighborhood.

My problem is my wife. She hasn't worked throughout almost all of our marriage and has to be the laziest person I know. We haven't slept in the same bed for 20 years. She weighs 300 pounds and is always going to diet, but never really does.

She sleeps in her own bedroom with a huge walk-in closet piled up to the top shelf with nice items she refuses to put away. She also has a separate bathroom and living room.

Her section of the house is a pigsty. It stinks to high heaven because she never gets around to cleaning it. The kitchen is worse. She never cooks a meal. Either I do it after cleaning up, or I live off TV dinners.

When it comes to our finances, we're up to our eyeballs in debt. She spends money like it grows on trees. If I ask a simple question, her replies are mean and sarcastic. I would have gotten a divorce a long time ago if I could afford one.

I'm a reasonably good-looking guy. I could have had an affair ages ago, but I wasn't brought up that way. Don't bother saying she should get counseling. According to her, she has no problems.

I am so tired of living the way I do, I could just cry if I thought it would do any good. What do you think? -- BUMMED OUT IN SAN DIEGO

 

[Tictac]

As long as he doesn't mind getting raped in divorce court, the answer is obvious isn't it?

 

[Tenacity]

What would be your advice for the husband here?

1.) Get the hell OUT of the marriage.

2.) Never again get the hell INTO a marriage.

3.) Go around and tell as many men as you CAN (who will listen) to never get INTO a marriage.

For you guys out there who are thinking of getting married to your 145lb, long hair, solid "7"....you need to understand that in 10 years she could be 250lbs and living the way this woman is in this example.

You want to know something else? I have been dating numerous women since 2010 (when I really started to sarge and when my "shyt" was finally together) and you know I RARELY run into a chick with a clean place?

- Clothes are usually everywhere and all over the floor

- The kitchen usually has dirty dishes everywhere

- The place is usually junky with a bunch of shyt everywhere, old magazines, etc. that can (and should) be thrown away

My place is and ALWAYS is organized, everything in place, etc. and I'm a guy. But of course when I tell you guys that this Market of women is majority SHYT you say I'm just being "Negative"

 

[zekko]

You know, I was thinking this was just me. It used to be that women kept their houses immaculately clean, and if they didn't they were ashamed to show their face. But with most women being in the work force, girls with sloppy houses are on the increase. The sad thing is this woman in the story doesn't even work, and she still can't clean the house.

I thought Abby's response was surprisingly good. She pointed out that the woman was already driving him to the poorhouse. So maybe he can't afford to NOT get the divorce? Unfortunately, the fact that she doesn't work might put him on the hook for alimony, big time, depending on where he lives probably.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

He should have gotten out a long time ago. Of course Dear Abby has always been lenient toward women and her advice likely was something along the lines of marriage counseling, remembering the times he felt genuine love for her, try to be understanding...blah blah blah. I can't stand that crap.

He needs to be free from this soul sucking woman and live his life. At this point, who cares how much in debt they are or if he loses 100% of everything he has. At least once he's free of this b!tch, he has a real chance of being happy again. You can't put a price on that.

 

[Tenacity]

.......He needs to be free from this soul sucking woman and live his life. At this point, who cares how much in debt they are or if he loses 100% of everything he has. At least once he's free of this b!tch, he has a real chance of being happy again. You can't put a price on that.

I absolutely agree with you, but can you tell me why do guys still PUSH the notion of getting married?

I mean look at the odds of ending up like this guy in the article and having to literally LOSE everything you have worked for just to "restart" your life again? Who the hell wants to go through that shyt?

What guys ought to be doing is starting to save, invest and build their wealth in their 20's so that by the time they reach late 40's they have amassed serious wealth to where (if they wanted to) they could just STOP working for a significant period of time.

It's hard to do that if you are going to have to start over in your late 30's because you followed "society's recommendations" of getting fvcking married to a chick who FLIPS on you and ends up being nothing but a drain on your life.

I don't get what guys DON'T understand about this. Yet there's a significant chunk of guys on this Forum that still preach to Men about getting married to fulfill some "happily ever after" fairy tale. Where is the happily ever after for the guy in this article?

Marriage is for Poor Men. If you plan on being a piece of shyt guy without a lot of drive, ambition, etc., then get married because you have nothing to lose. If you are a man of ambition, please, for the life of me....STOP SIGNING UP FOR THIS SHYT. Let "society" and other "men" call you crazy all day long, who cares!

This is YOUR life on the line here and NONE of these people are going to be there to save your a.ss in Court when your "soul mate" is trying to drain half of your assets and get lifetime monthly recurring residual checks from you! All those people cheering you on telling you to "get married" will be mighty FVCKING SILENT the moment she starts making your life a living hell. Trust me, I KNOW.

(Okay, now my Rant is over )

 

[Young OG]

When I read stuff like this it reminds me why I'm not getting married. I used to want to get married but after living with my kids mom for 7 years, I no longer want to get married. I was lucky I never married her. She wanted to, but I always put it off. Well she ended up cheating on me. I own the house so she got kicked out. I'll never let a woman take away my home and my money. I'm 33 now and I do not want another kid. I just want to have fun. I see so many guys who ruined there lives getting married. I'm so glad I didnt. For example my aunt that lives nearby, she runs my uncle. If she says jump, he says how high. She has always ran every man she was ever with. Her first husband finally grew some balls and left. Her new one is way to big of a chump to leave.

No thanks on marriage. Sorry to disappoint you society but I care about my happiness, money, and my home more then what people think of me.

 

[hithard]

My place is and ALWAYS is organized, everything in place, etc. and I'm a guy. But of course when I tell you guys that this Market of women is majority SHYT you say I'm just being "Negative"

Yeah maybe gay marriage is for you
You are fu.cking negative. Alyways with the confirmation bias to back up your keyboard jockey theories.
I know plenty of married couples together for between 10-50 years that have had no drama. I know plenty of divorced guys with 3 plus kids and no child support. Hell, I was never asked for any child support or assets when I broke up and we are still good friends years later. And she was a bpd attention whor.
Fuc.k living in fear. Just walk in with your eyes open to the risks. Sick of these theories of why you can't make it work.
Should everyone jump into marriage... no, a lot of guys just stuff it up. I personally don't want marriage, but not for the reasons you outlined.
Yes ten, I agree with your just date chicks. But for totally different reasons.

 

[Tenacity]

Oh it's my buddy hithard and his overabundance of optimism

Yeah maybe gay marriage is for you

Actually the Gays are having their own issues in relation to getting out of marriages: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articl...e-trap-when-same-sex-marriage-goes-wrong.html

Tenacity is a heterosexual man so gay marriage is off of the table for me sir

You are fu.cking negative. Alyways with the confirmation bias to back up your keyboard jockey theories.

Oh yeah, I'm too negative and now I'm a keyboard jockey. You know because the RIGHT thing for me to do is go online and praise a legal contract (a marriage contract) that is extremely inefficient? If you could respond with a list of benefits I (or any man) will obtain within this inefficient marriage contract that he doesn't get outside of it, I would appreciate it. I'm sure you won't make this response because there's no such benefits available.

I know plenty of married couples together for between 10-50 years that have had no drama. I know plenty of divorced guys with 3 plus kids and no child support. Hell, I was never asked for any child support or assets when I broke up and we are still good friends years later. And she was a bpd attention whor.

Right and not everybody with a Liberal Arts Degree is having a hard time finding employment, but does that CHANGE THE FACT that the Liberal Arts Degree is a degree that does NOT build an applicable skill? What you just said does not change ANY facts I have laid out in relation to the piss poor percentage rates of successful marriages and "happily ever after" marriages. You are looking at a near or over 50% divorce rate, with a significantly large percentage of those divorces having a guy getting financially screwed so BAD, that he has to "restart his life" in his early or mid 40's, when that's the time he should be getting ready to look towards winding down his career and sit on his nest egg.

Fuc.k living in fear. Just walk in with your eyes open to the risks.

So you acknowledge that there are RISKS? Seeing as though you acknowledge that, once again, can you name me the BENEFITS on the table that make those risks worth it? And nobody refusing to get married is living in fear, actually the reason we AREN'T getting married is that we actually love our lives so much that we don't want to screw it up with an inefficient contract. You and this damn "shaming males" who are opting out of this corrupt system is starting to get pathetic hithard.

Sick of these theories of why you can't make it work.
Should everyone jump into marriage... no, a lot of guys just stuff it up. I personally don't want marriage, but not for the reasons you outlined.
Yes ten, I agree with your just date chicks. But for totally different reasons.

SO you are recommending that other guys get married because not doing so, means they are living in fear, too negative and too pvssy? But YOU aren't going to get married? You are in a different country so your laws might be different, I'm not sure, but you can't sit up here with these male shaming tactics. It's the same shyt we deal with from Feminists who want us to conform to the fvcked up gynocentric system that they have setup which benefits THEM and does NOTHING to benefit us. Men are waking up and deciding to take control of their lives, define their lives how they want it and not how society wants us to define it. Your Male Shaming Tactics are pathetic and ridiculous buddy.

 

[sodbuster]

Once he's free of her spending..... He won't be broke. Easy fix. Then he can sleep with a woman who isn't a 300 lb warpig

 

[hithard]

Oh it's my buddy hithard and his overabundance of optimism

Yep I am calling you out on being a KBJ. The fact is you seem to have done squat. You jump into any thread that backs up your bias. You give out some shocking advice to guys in what looks like an attempt to breed bitterness.
And then you try and creep political BS into this forum along with a couple of others. How did all those threads go. Oh that's right. They turned into bitter whinge fests.
I doubt you have much of any real world experience. All you have done since you have joined is look for reasons to be as bitter as f.uck. Who thinks he is always right. Everyone else is wrong. Oh but the guy that gets scrubs from online dating is somehow enlightening us all.
But I will give you this. You can put out some good posts that I do agree with. You just fiercely want to fight changing anything about your own life.

Are you saying people don't have strong marriages out there?
And you want me to list the positives of the legal contract or of raising a family. See I'm unclear? You mean: tax benefits,estate planning benefits, government benefits, two incomes?

And lets look at those 50% divorce rates are you stupid enough to tell me that of that 50% it is all the women's fault?
You want to redo that % when its not a mans fault for divorce so we know what our real stats are.
For me any relationship that involves a kid or goes over 2 years in a ltr I lump up the same as marriage.
We had a guy go through divorce who posted with everyone telling him how screwed he was. Except he didn't get f.ucked over in the end, even after all that fear.
I'm not religious so I don't give a fig about marriage either way. My parents have been together for 50 years and they didn't marry but they are still bound by the same laws.

You and this damn "shaming males" who are opting out of this corrupt system is starting to get pathetic hithard.

No champ. I'm just shaming you. See I believe guys should be informed from guys that know their stuff when making a decision. To have some punk that doesn't even seem to know how to roll a date in RL then lecture on marriage or relationships to guys on this forum who have successful marriages and ltrs is what $hits me.

Your Male Shaming Tactics are pathetic and ridiculous buddy.

Who's calling who a feminist. Trying to stick reverse femi-logic labels on me ffs Is that some new crying victim tactic. "Oh you MAN shamed me" :crackup: Do you have to get a certain haircut to use that phrase or what.

You think trying to label me with "male shaming tactics" is going to stop me from calling out BS when I see it. I'm only 'bitter weak biatch shaming', lets call it what it is.

See I'm not pro marriage at all, I'm pro choice. I want guys to have the best advice from guys that are living it, for whatever they want out of life. I want them to learn enough to get back out the door of SS with confidence and a bit more knowledge. I want them to shake out of that bitterness that comes with a breakup when they first come here and realize life is good.

You sir have fuc.k all experience but plenty of bitterness to infect and hold back a lot of guys progress. You send them out with not just the warning of the dangers of marriage (which I wouldn't mind at all). You try and trap them with closed minds and unfounded fear. When a guy is at his lowest the easiest thing for him to do is to point the finger at everyone else, instead of reflecting on his own life and choices. You provide the easiest laziest excuse of them all: "The system and women are against you". Your thinking breeds weakness.

"Oh but its not my job to worry about others that read my posts"
My question is: why are you still here sprouting the same shi.t when you're clearly not here to help anyone else?

SO you are recommending that other guys get married because not doing so, means they are living in fear, too negative and too pvssy?

No, but way to go warping it. I'm saying living in fear because it might happen and not living a life that you want... is a biatch ass way to live. Which is exactly how your ass is living. You know what, I probably will have a couple more kids in the next five years. You honestly think I give two fuc.ks about the fear of losing money while our time on earth is a microscopic blip. Oh No, my net worth:crackup: You think thats the kind of $hit I worry about. I'm on good terms with my ex ltrs. They still cook me dinner ffs. All of them could have taken me for large sums of money, none of them did.

See I respect poon king and (.)(.) for their dose of wisdom, reality and masculinity in some of their posts. I can take it for what it is. In fact I use to love (.)(.) posts when he laid it out. But I'd be disapointed if I ever saw them pull out a biatch ass phrase like "male shaming tactics" like you did petunia. That's a victims mentality right there.

Black conservative, MGTOW, anti marriage warrior, how about you work out for yourself how you really want to live. Instead of trying to live so rigidly under what ever group think approval you want to attach yourself too.

Oh and I see the doubt. You trying to validate your old posts and ideas to the others via links in posts. And it screams out 'weakness' to me plain as day.
The worse thing for me would be to go away for a few months, come back and still see you posting the same $hit while claiming progress has been made.
And no I'm not telling your deluded ass, or anyone marriage is the way to happiness, or that anyone should get married. I'M TELLING YOU TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE WITH AS MUCH KNOWLEDGE AS YOU CAN MUSTER, NOT OUT OF FEAR.

And I'm telling you ten you have issues that you are ignoring while wasting time posting on SS. If I saw one small sign of improvement for the better in you I would have stopped riding your ass. But you are one asleep at the wheel mother fuc,ker. Keep comfort in surrounding yourself with yes men.

That too optimistic for you cupcake or you want me to neg it down.

Ten it is time to W A K E the fuc,k up and leave your comfort zone.

 

[Tenacity]

hithard,

Got it, because you seem to have more of a "personal" issue with me rather than the topic itself, I recommend that you come back to my thread here http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=226942 or PM me, and I can continue discussing the "personal issues" you have with me there. I don't want to take the OP's thread off context to make this about "Tenacity". I will respond to some of the things you said here but try to tie them BACK into the original context of the thread.

Yep I am calling you out on being a KBJ. The fact is you seem to have done squat.....I doubt you have much of any real world experience..... Oh but the guy that gets scrubs from online dating is somehow enlightening us all.

Which one is it, do I get scrubs (pvssy) from an Online Dating site "only" or do I lack experience (get no pvssy)? How do you know how much pvssy I'm getting sir? I have put more information about my life on this forum than the vast majority of guys have ever done that have joined here. I have put my pictures here, apartment pictures, car pictures, where I work, my social media account, the city I'm in, the industry I'm in, etc. I've had guys tell me that I'm revealing too much because some of the "fringe" statements I make here could cost me job opportunities.

Have you ever revealed anything about yourself? Or are you totally anonymous?

In relation to women I have never at one time got up here and said I was David Deangelo, what I have said (consistently) is that I didn't start getting consistent dates, pvssy and a.ss until around 2010 when I got my shyt together. My shyt is related to not just my Money but also getting my Looks right, Personality right and developing a consistent pattern of meeting new women (in-person and those online scrubs you refer to). I spin plates today and that's all I've been doing. Would you like me to put together a PhotoBucket album of me out with chicks?

You jump into any thread that backs up your bias. You give out some shocking advice to guys in what looks like an attempt to breed bitterness.
And then you try and creep political BS into this forum along with a couple of others. How did all those threads go. Oh that's right. They turned into bitter whinge fests.

All you have done since you have joined is look for reasons to be as bitter as f.uck. Who thinks he is always right. Everyone else is wrong.
But I will give you this. You can put out some good posts that I do agree with. You just fiercely want to fight changing anything about your own life.

I have put a lot of personal financial management content on this site which helps guys with their finances, and I would think that posting my fitness progress pictures provides a lot of motivation for guys on this site to turn their bodies around. What have you posted on here that helps guys out in an area of their life since that's your main concern? My main concern here is to network with similarly minded people and to get my THOUGHTS out there.

I'm not here to "save" some newbie, the newbie has to save himself. hithard I have TOLD you all of this before.

When it comes to women, I don't have a lot of POSITIVE things to say about this Market of Women because the market in terms of "quality" is horrible and the legal ramifications of this market are unbalanced in the favor of women. But I also said that with this new market comes a great opportunity to spin plates.

hithard, I get it. You are mad because I said this market of women is low quality, I hurt your feelings and I crushed your dreams, and you also believe I'm crushing other guys' dreams about telling them this market of women and the institution of marriage itself is majority shyt. And all of that bothers you because Tenacity is "crushing dreams".

Tell this shyt to that guy in the Abby article. Tell this to Des. Tell this to other guys on this forum who have REALLY had their dreams and lives crushed by an inefficient Marriage/Divorce System designed to pay off Divorce Attorneys and Judges while screwing up families and people's lives. Go on this forum and tell that to these guys: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/

Tenacity isn't crushing dreams, I'm waking people up to the realities of this system. If you still want to participate then "do you" but if you get your finances destroyed just DON'T SAY nobody warned you about it.

hithard you are getting very emotional and turning into personal attack mode and childish rants towards me personally. You want to talk about "weak bytch shyt" well sir, that's some weak bytch shyt right there. That's how a woman or a child would respond. Refute my stances that the market of women and marriage as an institution are NOT shyt? Are you ready to do that, or are you going to just keep calling me names like a woman or a child?

Are you saying people don't have strong marriages out there?

Not at one time did I ever say that and you know I didn't say that.

And you want me to list the positives of the legal contract or of raising a family. See I'm unclear? You mean: tax benefits,estate planning benefits, government benefits, two incomes?

And lets look at those 50% divorce rates are you stupid enough to tell me that of that 50% it is all the women's fault?
You want to redo that % when its not a mans fault for divorce so we know what our real stats are.

I want you to list out the benefits that a man acquires from getting into a marriage with a woman that he has not already acquired outside of the contract that would justify taking on the risks of said contract?

Such as, is he going to get more sex? Is she going to cook for him differently? Is she going to be a sweeter person? Is she going to have MORE of his kids that she wouldn't outside of the marriage? Is she going to be more loyal? Is she going to provide some type of major financial benefit to him?

Tell me hithard, what changes when he gets married to a woman that makes the RISK of getting married worth the proposed REWARD(S)?

Tell me that instead of calling me names like a woman or a child hithard.

You sir have fuc.k all experience but plenty of bitterness to infect and hold back a lot of guys progress. You send them out with not just the warning of the dangers of marriage (which I wouldn't mind at all). You try and trap them with closed minds and unfounded fear. When a guy is at his lowest the easiest thing for him to do is to point the finger at everyone else, instead of reflecting on his own life and choices. You provide the easiest laziest excuse of them all: "The system and women are against you". Your thinking breeds weakness.

Black conservative, MGTOW, anti marriage warrior, how about you work out for yourself how you really want to live. Instead of trying to live so rigidly under what ever group think approval you want to attach yourself too.

And I'm telling you ten you have issues that you are ignoring while wasting time posting on SS. If I saw one small sign of improvement for the better in you I would have stopped riding your ass.

hithard, when you respond to me, answer my questions this time.

When you refute the FACTS I post on here about the screwed up Family Court, as well as when you tell me the rewards that a guy acquires from taking on the risks of a marriage contract, then you will get your wish....I will shut up because I'm open minded and MAYBE you can change my mind.

 

[hithard]

I want you to list out the benefits that a man acquires from getting into a marriage with a woman that he has not already acquired outside of the contract that would justify taking on the risks of said contract?

Such as, is he going to get more sex? Is she going to cook for him differently? Is she going to be a sweeter person? Is she going to have MORE of his kids that she wouldn't outside of the marriage? Is she going to be more loyal? Is she going to provide some type of major financial benefit to him?

Tell me hithard, what changes when he gets married to a woman that makes the RISK of getting married worth the proposed REWARD(S)?

When you refute the FACTS I post on here about the screwed up Family Court, as well as when you tell me the rewards that a guy acquires from taking on the risks of a marriage contract, then you will get your wish....I will shut up because I'm open minded and MAYBE you can change my mind.

Made a post, lost the lot. I'm not going to defend marriage, I am possibly the worse person to do it. But I will throw some stuff out there.

On the 50% divorce rate.
I think it was actually 42% but lets use 50% (this will be a very rough use of the stats in a way they were not meant to be used).
So lets say of those that instigate divorce 30% are women and 20% are men. So as a guy stands you have about (and this is worse case) 30% chance of you not initiating.
Now in reality thats not how the stats work. But every guy that wants to throw out the 50% fear line is really fudging the stat. A lot of it comes down to education level , age, choice and a hundred other different reasons that lower or raise you chances of being successful. If you hit all the negatives your chances are higher. Do it right and you lower the odds considerably. In truth divorce rates have apparently peaked in the 70's (I'm not looking it up just to prove a point. If it interests you google it.)

So whats the benefits of marriage. Just to note: asking me is like asking a sex maniac the benefit of abstinence. Well apparently there is 1138 federal benefits, rights responsibilities. I have to generalise (not in the US).
But again:
Better tax planning/structure
Government Benefits.
Estate planning.
Raising kids.
Not sure about family trust use in US.

A quick story a mate of mine had a risky business set up in his wifes name that went phoenix, crashed and burned. She now has restriction on her for 4 years. She doesn't care because she was always looking after the kids and felt safe in the marriage. He gets to continue on with his other business. That level of trust and common purpose would be hard to find in a ltr.

I'll post on family courts/ marriage later after losing my original post.
Ten I'm not interested in convincing your ass on marriage. I'm interested in guys going out there well informed. Not being closed off and full of bs fears and dodgy stats. I'm not pro marriage, or anti marriage. There is a long list of guys with healthy marriages and a long list with divorce. Others should learn from both depending on which way they want to go. Did you ever take that break from SS?

 

[Tenacity]

Made a post, lost the lot. I'm not going to defend marriage, I am possibly the worse person to do it. But I will throw some stuff out there.

On the 50% divorce rate.
I think it was actually 42% but lets use 50% (this will be a very rough use of the stats in a way they were not meant to be used).
So lets say of those that instigate divorce 30% are women and 20% are men. So as a guy stands you have about (and this is worse case) 30% chance of you not initiating.

Here's the stats:

http://www.divorcestatistics.org/

First time marriage divorce rates are 45% - 50%, second marriages are 60% - 67% and third marriages are 70% - 73% in terms of divorce rates. And it's women that start the divorce proceedings over 70% of the time.

Now in reality thats not how the stats work. But every guy that wants to throw out the 50% fear line is really fudging the stat. A lot of it comes down to education level , age, choice and a hundred other different reasons that lower or raise you chances of being successful. If you hit all the negatives your chances are higher. Do it right and you lower the odds considerably.

The BLS looked at everything by Education, Age and Financial levels which does bring the divorce rates down significantly:
http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/ar...by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.htm

But they don't go down to 0%. You still are looking at about a 20% - 25% divorce rate based on the stats. Now, that's just the divorce rate, understand there are four types of "marriages".

- You have the happily ever after one which is known as the successful one.

- You have the one where you stay married but you aren't truly "happy"

- You have the divorced marriage where nobody really gets taken to the cleaners.

- Then you have the divorced marriage where somebody gets taken to the cleaners.

So based on Education, Age and Finances you have a lower chance of getting divorced, but there's no study on the level of "happiness" within the marriage itself. Sometimes people turn 45-50 and just stay married just for the hell of it. Nevertheless, that 25% number is still HIGH enough to make this an epidemic. 25% is still a high of enough percentage to make this a RISKY bet without a clear set of benefits for you in return.

So whats the benefits of marriage. Just to note: asking me is like asking a sex maniac the benefit of abstinence. Well apparently there is 1138 federal benefits, rights responsibilities. I have to generalise (not in the US).
But again:
Better tax planning/structure
Government Benefits.
Estate planning.
Raising kids.
Not sure about family trust use in US.

That's NOT what I asked you. I asked you what were the rewards/benefits that you obtain from marriage that you DON'T HAVE ALREADY HAVE outside of it?

- I don't need to get married to get tax benefits, being Self-Employed gives you the ability to transfer Personal Expenses into Business Expenses, utilize SEP IRAs, HSAs, and a host of other tax loopholes to give you massive write-offs. So if you truly want tax breaks, you start a business not get married.

- I don't know what "estate planning" benefits you are referring to but anybody can setup a Trust and name beneficiaries to it. Anybody can also setup a Term Life Insurance policy and do the same, you don't have to get married to setup efficient Estate Planning. Even with Social Security Survivor's benefits you can have those going to your child.

- You can have and raise kids outside of a Marriage contract as well as setup your Estate Planning with your kids as the beneficiaries.

So I will ask you once again, what BENEFITS do I get from a Marriage Contract that I can't obtain outside of it?

Ten I'm not interested in convincing your ass on marriage. I'm interested in guys going out there well informed.

Well informed of what? That not all marriages end in divorce? That there are some successful marriages out there? Myself nor anybody else from the "don't get married crowd" has ever mentioned that all marriages end in divorce and that there aren't successful marriages out there. Nobody, including myself, has said that.

We said your chances are low of obtaining a successful/happily ever after marriage. Even when you look at the 25% divorce rate for educated/older couples, again, how many of those couples are just staying married despite not being happy? You can't tell me that 75% of those remaining marriages are successful/happy marriages HitHard? Again there's no data on it, but we can use logic and reasoning in this case to arrive at a projected answer.

What EXACTLY is it that you want me (and other guys) to understand that apparently I (and some other guys) don't understand in relation to marriage? Spell it out in clear, concise format. You said you want guys to walk away from this discussion well-informed, well what is it that you want to inform us about in relation to marriage that we don't already know?

You say I'm not informed, that I'm missing something. So tell me what are the benefits/rewards of a marriage contract that I can obtain that I can't obtain outside of it?

Specifically, by me OPTING OUT of Marriage....what am I missing out on? Tell me.....

Did you ever take that break from SS?

When did I say I was taking a break from SoSuave?

 

[LiveFreeX]

Mexico

 

[Malcontent]

This is what it will look like when he tries to put his foot down:

http://www.disney.co.uk/sites/default/files/Star Wars/Pictures/sw_lgi_gallery07.jpg

:crackup:

 

[hithard]

And it's women that start the divorce proceedings over 70% of the time.



The BLS looked at everything by Education, Age and Financial levels which does bring the divorce rates down significantly:
http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/ar...by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.htm

But they don't go down to 0%. You still are looking at about a 20% - 25% divorce rate based on the stats.

50% is actually a projection. Commonly said, 50% of all marriages in the America end in divorce. But this statement about the divorce statistics in America hides all the details about distribution

I'm going to go through the rest of your questions but lets start on this because the 50% is thrown around as fact. I'm not interested in all the other attachments at this point or we will be debating $hit forever (% of happy in marriage).
So...
20-25% for both men and women initiating divorce.
So that is roughly 14-17.5% of female initiated divorce.
Now guys come here to learn how to run better relationships.
How to improve their confidence.
Better themselves blah, blah, blah you get the point. Pretty sure if they fit the criteria the odds are better again. You will never get 0% risk.


No, scrap this argument. Just read a bit about cohabitation. We do not have a similar deal in Australia (de facto). If you are in a similar relationship here you are still up for assets after about 2 year period if you live together (they have to live separately). And you can be deemed to have multiple de factos.

While it is a little unclear whether a party can have multiple de facto partners at the same time, it is suggested that this is possible because to exclude such relationships would lead to injustice.

Someone did mention it before (I didn't catch on), but I only just looked at the laws in US.

Ten I completely apologize for being a D,ICK this is a location thing that I should have looked into further on thats on me. I did not get why guys were so up in arms about it but now I understand. And I apologize unreservedly to those on the anti marriage front. Cohabitation has completely changed my perspective of the argument.

Guys that do want marriage for whatever reasons - yes you can lower your odds of divorce. You can have a happy married life. But while you have this marvelous law available to you, I can't personally argue a reason for marriage.
For Aussies, we are screwed either way so just get married.

 

[Yewki]

What would be your advice for the husband here?

If this is not fake, I think we have the beta of the year. I mean, she's 300 lbs... doesn't have a job, doesn't do anything... he works and provides everything... and this has been going on for how long? Decades? How is this even real? And he's asking for advice, as if it's not obvious to just GTFO immediately.

 

[YawataNoKami]

It is real for millions of men out there.Family courts around the country will destroy him.Only men who gave a cuckold fetish should get married in this day and age.

 

[sharkbeat]

Tell the guy to start living his own life, and prepping for divorce, but don't actually do it yet. Just get the little details discussed with an attorney.

Wife eventually gets insecure as he will be gone most of the time.

Drama will happen. It has to happen. Depending on how she responds, he may choose to pull the divorce trigger, wait for her to pull the divorce trigger (in which case he should be ready), or she actually got back in shape and everybody lives happily ever after.