What women really want

[Groovy]

I get you.

I personally like to twist stuff even more... Like I randomly start caring a little bit, in a way she is surprised like: Wow what's happening with you today? You're being so sweet.
I'm just in a good mood

Then I take that little attention back! It often confuses her. :crazy:.. And her interrest grows!
But it shows I'm only being sweet because I'm in a good mood, and don't really care that much for her approval, I'm just spreading my hapiness. If not I would look afc!

That said, if you try hard to do this, if it's not natural, I don't think it would works. At least it wouldn't work so well.

And btw great post!

 

[Remulak]

One of the biggest things I got from SS is that what a woman thinks she wants is often times not what she actually responds to or truly desires.

Always read a woman by what she DOES... not what she SAYS.

I would have to disagree, they know what they want. Saying that they want a nice sensitive guy is their way of weeding out the weak-willed. If you conform to her nice guy image you get dumped or do you have the cajones to act like a man? It's the ultimate test, will he be a man even when I tell him to be more sensitive? It's called betaising the alpha male. It's their little dark secret that they're in denial of.

 

[DonGorgon]

Very true thread and i would like to ad a treatment rating system and use it to show where we men need to be....

NO MATTER THE WOMEN, RICH POOR TALL SHORT FAT SLIM ETC.
We must always treat a woman 1 step below what she is treating us..

She treats you on a 7 level you treat her on a 6 level.

This will keep that perfect balance of indifference that women need in a man.. Always watch fro signs of trouble from her and have no patience or mercy.. as soon as she denies you sex or flakes out dump her with no explanation except that she wast not good enough for you.

 

[Tear Gas]

true, but i've known this since hitting puberty in middle school. I feel sorry for the fools that havnt or dont want to grasp this concept.

 

[DonGorgon]

true, but i've known this since hitting puberty in middle school. I feel sorry for the fools that havnt or dont want to grasp this concept.

^^^Its easy with women you dont care about..... The problem is that when you really like or love a woman you instinctively want to treat her like a queen when she really wants you to treat her like a "maid"... You must always treat a women less than she treats you even if you marry her...

 

[slaog]

Not worrying about women shows women that you are controlling the frame and thats what they love.


Example 1-AFC:
If a woman is getting emotional an AFC will try to sit her down and go into detail about her problems. He'll enter her frame. He'll ask her whats wrong, ask what can he do to make her feel better etc. In other words he's so worried about losing the woman he puts her on a pedestal and be her servant. The woman will eventually leave him complaining that she "needs space".


Example 2-DJ:
The woman is getting emotional now but it doesn't effect the DJ in the least. He has a strong frame. Although he listens to the woman he is his ****y funny self always. He tells a few jokes and tease the woman about her mood. He makes her feel like a little girl and she feels good in the company of a man in control. The woman likes him even more for making her feel good.


Example 3-Badboys:
There is the badboy type in between the DJ and AFC. He doesn't listen to the woman but still has a strong frame and doesn't get all emotional over the woman. She'll complain about him but still feel attraction for him.

 

[Interceptor]

Anyone who thinks not having feelings is a good thing is delusional.

And being ****y/funny when your woman is relating to you something very difficult and tragic and hard for her to cope with is badly socially miscalibrated. Like telling some racist joke in public in front of the very crowd you're making fun of.
This reeks of social maladjustment, and insecurity, since it demonstrates the man simply cannot handle difficult emotional circumstances.
(this is bad news for any men here who want to be fathers, own their own home, business, get married, and take care of their families....)

The Man is the "Rock".
But he's not dead inside...


It's VERY IMPORTANT for the grown men and all men here to realize that even though they've been rejected, and 'hurt' by their Oneitis, and/or a woman who was never really attracted to them , NOT go off to extremes.

There are two sides of emotional maturity.


On one side there is having a Conscience.

The other is Shrewdness.

(Most of the time we must be shrewd and have a conscience. AND, we have to be SHREWD about WHEN to listen to our conscience.)

MOST men here advocate EXTREME shrewdness which turns out to be negative CYNICSM.
This is an IMMATURE manner of 'self protection'.


And the AFC starts out at the other end, with TOO much Conscience. Wherein he is always worrying about everything. Nothing is ever good enough. And he is never secure.
And the unfeeling, uncaring, and/or 'hurt inner child' will go to extremes and act TOO Shrewdly,he will become cynical, he will manipulate people around him to his whims,make preemptive fear based decisions and judgements, and create a paranoia that all people are not to be trusted, evil, will stab you in the back, etc....

Always remember, that when you hear someone talk about how 'you cant trust anyone these days. ALL people are untrustworthy.'' he's TALKING ABOUT and including HIMSELF.

People who do not trust, are NOT trustworthy and DONT TRUST THEMSELVES.
Please,do yourself a favor and remember that.


The MIDDLE path is the path of maturity.

And only when we operate from LOVE, and NOT FEAR, can we make decisions CORRECTLY and take action sliding a little to the left and a little to the right when it is NECESSARY, not out of IMPULSE or "waaaaa! I've been hurt by females!!! Waaaa!I hate them!!! Waa!All women are b*tches! dont trust them! They will hurt you too, like me! See?? So now I have to get back at them for hurting me and not validating my narcissistic Ego!" but out of sense of boundary respect and respect for oneself and humanity.
All actions are either based out of Love or Fear. Only truly emotionally healthy and mature persons can make their decisions using this as their criteria.



ALL of this stuff we are talking about is MERELY ASSERTING YOUR BOUNDARIES.


You are either acting out of FEAR, or out of confident LOVE.


You tell me which one a MAN with RESOURCES will act with????

 

[DonGorgon]

Not worrying about women shows women that you are controlling the frame and thats what they love.


Example 2-DJ:
The woman is getting emotional now but it doesn't effect the DJ in the least. He has a strong frame. Although he listens to the woman he is his ****y funny self always. He tells a few jokes and tease the woman about her mood. He makes her feel like a little girl and she feels good in the company of a man in control. The woman likes him even more for making her feel good.


Example 3-Badboys:
There is the badboy type in between the DJ and AFC. He doesn't listen to the woman but still has a strong frame and doesn't get all emotional over the woman. She'll complain about him but still feel attraction for him.

SO Loving a woman means accepting that you are stronger than her and in control at all times.. and always acting irregardless of her emotional state...

if you spoil her on occasion to it only as a reward for her prior good behaviour but not for her benefit.. any good you do for her must be really to make yourself feel good NEVER EVER MAKE HER THE FOCUS.

MOST MEN WILL NIOT BE ABLE TO DO THESE THINGS FOOR MANY COMPLICATED SOCIOLOGICAL REASONS. and in many cases simply cause if they loose the woman they have it will be veery hard to find another....

 

[Igetit!]

I wholeheartedly agree with the OP. My personal experience with women is that everything that I would normally do and normally think was wrong. Everything was backwards. Up was down,left was right,good was bad. Everything,and I mean everything I thought would make a woman like me was wrong. It wasn't that I had never been successful with women,it was just that the few times I did do something right,I did it by accident. I "slipped up",and did something right. Mavrick is right. Logically,it doesn't make sense,but hey,you can't argue with results.

 

[slaog]

SO Loving a woman means accepting that you are stronger than her and in control at all times.. and always acting irregardless of her emotional state...

if you spoil her on occasion to it only as a reward for her prior good behaviour but not for her benefit.. any good you do for her must be really to make yourself feel good NEVER EVER MAKE HER THE FOCUS.

MOST MEN WILL NIOT BE ABLE TO DO THESE THINGS FOOR MANY COMPLICATED SOCIOLOGICAL REASONS. and in many cases simply cause if they loose the woman they have it will be veery hard to find another....

Yeah thats basically it. You can listen to her and try help her out depending on the circumstances. If she is acting like a b!tch then it should not bother you but if something happened like a family member died then obvious thats completely different. So it all depends on the circumstances. Most of the time or if in doubt it's best to show you don't care.

Most men are AFC's so behave in an AFC way which is unattractive to the woman. Badboys are the other extreme while DJ's have the right balance.


I think the real thing is to show the woman you like her but don't need her. Too often AFC's will make the mistake of coming on too strong and basically thats why you have to show her she isn't on a pedestal and you are strong and can walk away from her at any time.

 

[Mavrick]

Another thing, when she isn't treating you right, let it be a reflection of her and not you.

For example, she hasn't called in a while. You've been wondering why she hasn't called, and you've decided that it's something about you that's not good enough. Screw that type of thinking. You want a woman who will treat you right because you love yourself enough to treat yourself right.

When she hasn't called or done what she says she's going to do, let it be a reflection upon her character. If you start thinking it's something about you, then you'll just show your insecure, punkish side, and the next thing you're mad and needy. She didn't call, then she's not living up to your standards. Don't get mad about it. Why should you? It's not a reflection of yourself; it's a reflection of her, and you don't want that in your life, so why get mad. What you do is show her that you have standards and you're not a pushover. The best way is to back the hell off. Why? She did, so why can't you?

• How do you act when someone acts a certain way and it's a reflection of their character? Most likely you'd back away. You tell yourself "wait this person isn't what I thought she was".
  
• How do you act when someone does something that you feel is a reflection of yourself? Most likely you'd latch on. You'd ask harsh questions and show your insecurities.

Do the former and not the latter. Always let bad behavior be a reflection of their character and not yours. This is the best way to keep yourself on a level playing field with women. This is the best way to show that you are a catch.

Don't ever let the way a woman acts toward you be a reflection of yourself. Have some confidence. Brush it off, and just say "no". Sometimes you have to say "no".

If you don't show that what she does is a reflection of you, but a reflection of her character, more than likely you'll be building higher interest. That's what you want.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Not worrying about women shows women that you are controlling the frame and thats what they love.


Example 1-AFC:
If a woman is getting emotional an AFC will try to sit her down and go into detail about her problems. He'll enter her frame. He'll ask her whats wrong, ask what can he do to make her feel better etc. In other words he's so worried about losing the woman he puts her on a pedestal and be her servant. The woman will eventually leave him complaining that she "needs space".


Example 2-DJ:
The woman is getting emotional now but it doesn't effect the DJ in the least. He has a strong frame. Although he listens to the woman he is his ****y funny self always. He tells a few jokes and tease the woman about her mood. He makes her feel like a little girl and she feels good in the company of a man in control. The woman likes him even more for making her feel good.


Example 3-Badboys:
There is the badboy type in between the DJ and AFC. He doesn't listen to the woman but still has a strong frame and doesn't get all emotional over the woman. She'll complain about him but still feel attraction for him.

What about if you're in an LTR? I think girls stay with a guy when he's nice, although they are initially attracted to him when he's example 2 or 3.