Great answer.
And within this answer also hides the problem we men have. This is all honeymoon phase stuff. I know that I've been through this AT LEAST 40 times.
We're learning the HARD way that all these aspects are voids that must be filled otherwise.
Its only doable when you switch women every x amount of years or even months. Ask any married man if this is sustainable for long..
The irony is that once you manage to fill that void WITHOUT a woman, they'll line up to be that woman for you...
I think we sometimes miss the idea or fantasy of who we wish this person could be. Once the honeymoon phase is over and the dopamine wears off, we see the person for who they really are. They might be lacking major traits we are looking for but while we are under the influence of chemicals in our brain, we ignore reality.
That’s why later you think back, “Man, I miss Sally. She was a great girl. She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.“ But when time fades and you take a honest look, you realize she wasn’t all that great. She had some type of baggage that could never be resolved or you just didn’t jive for whatever reasons. If she really was a good match, you’d wouldn’t be talking about her in past tense.
As an old married man, yeah, that **** doesn’t last forever. We all get complacent and the fun things you did at the beginning seem to get fewer and far between. That’s work you have to put in to keep it going.
The irony is that once you manage to fill that void WITHOUT a woman, they'll line up to be that woman for you...
“Void” sounds like we are broken without said woman. My thought is that we all need to strive to be complete by ourselves. If we have expectations that someone else is going to fill those voids, we’ll get disappointed when they don’t deliver. Once ”complete,“ we present as less needy. Could be the difference you are observing with the ones that are lining up. You are a whole package that doesn’t desperately need them. Shows inner strength which is more appealing. You’ll hear women sometimes complaining about having to “mother“ their partner rather than him taking the lead while she follows. Usually said in a negative tone.