What will marriage give a man that he doesn’t already have?

Spaz

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No amount of leadership skills could content a batchit crazy women which alots nowdays, choose a healthy emotionally female thats in deep interest with u.. Otherwise just have fun.
Wrong mindset. If you continue down that path, you'll attain 99.9% failure at the end with her leaving you. And the remaining 0.1% is you leaving.

It's not abt choosing which is crazy and which is not. Perhaps because one met you and her expectations were so high and turned into an emotional mess - batshiet crazy after all her hopes were dashed by an abject failure of a man ? This issue is highly subjective with various reasons and there's no end to it. Deal with something that has an end and a viable sustainable solution.

It's abt taking responsibility with ur leadership as a man.

Accept responsibility that ur leadership failed with a particular woman and leave her for you r unable 2 lead her due to her being greater then you - a sustainable strategy that yields better results for you.

Then find one who will look up 2 you and follow you. You do so by being greater then her - a sustainable and achievable strategy that looks inward to urself, making you always yearning to be greater then before. Complacency is the death of relationships/profits both professionally and personally.

Each time a man blames a woman or for that matter anything that's not an act of god, its he who digs his grave deeper until such a time he becomes irrelevant.

Be careful of ur chosen mindset for it sets the path u lead in ur life and the results is as you see now...
 

Spaz

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This is one of those Sosuave/redpill ideas that gets tossed around, but it's not an absolute truth. It's great to accept responsibility and maintain frame, but some things are simply outside of your control.
I've no idea if it's a red pill or even SS truth of which neither anyone here should care but put it to the test of time.

It's in those test of time that the truth of it speaks by the results it yields time over time.

It has been so for me and for countless of men who realise it to be so.
 

Focal core

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Wrong mindset. If you continue down that path, you'll attain 99.9% failure at the end with her leaving you. And the remaining 0.1% is you leaving.

It's not abt choosing which is crazy and which is not. Perhaps because one met you and her expectations were so high and turned into an emotional mess - batshiet crazy after all her hopes were dashed by an abject failure of a man ? This issue is highly subjective with various reasons and there's no end to it. Deal with something that has an end and a viable sustainable solution.

It's abt taking responsibility with ur leadership as a man.

Accept responsibility that ur leadership failed with a particular woman and leave her for you r unable 2 lead her due to her being greater then you - a sustainable strategy that yields better results for you.

Then find one who will look up 2 you and follow you. You do so by being greater then her - a sustainable and achievable strategy that looks inward to urself, making you always yearning to be greater then before. Complacency is the death of relationships/profits both professionally and personally.

Each time a man blames a woman or for that matter anything that's not an act of god, its he who digs his grave deeper until such a time he becomes irrelevant.

Be careful of ur chosen mindset for it sets the path u lead in ur life and the results is as you see now...
Well good luck with that thinking.. Going down the path to repeat a vicious cycle over and over again?

Yes a man lead and for me i only leading a worthy women, not the crazy one or have an issue for that matter.. I dont take that emotional **** and be part of my life, i wouldnt allowed that to happened to me ever! A women that will nods and play behind your back.. With this kind of mindset its only feed your ego not as a man but more on to codependency. This cycle on fixing compulsion is dysfunctional..

A healthy emotional female RECIPROCATE your love.. Period. And Love is an ever-expanding sense of trust in another, along with admiration and respect for their talents, character, attributes and qualities.

Not endlessly leading, especially when blind leading the blind which not knowing whats love is supposedly to feel is pointless. And thus again the vicous 'leading' cycle will be endless.

At the end what you have in a women reflect your own emotional level as she is.. Thats where the word improved yourself to get a good qualities women come into a reality.. The girl you get reflect your own emotional level.. Period..

Case closed.
 
A

AJ84

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It’s easier to have frame and lead when you are not that close to someone, and openly casually dating them (and they are probably doing the same with other people), and are not offering anything other than that.

You control the pace, you are the sole navigator. You set the tone. You are not allowing them to penetrate your wall.

It’s easier, and there’s more control, than actually diving in deep with a person, investing emotionally, and entering an exclusive relationship, where all the risk is, where you don’t get to set the tone and control the pace 100% of the time.

Like what MrGoodstuff was saying about his ex. She was all sweet then showed her true self after they got married. That’s who she was probably all along and you can’t change that. He didn’t fail, he just didn’t drop her as soon as she showed herself maybe because he was invested at that point and maybe he felt stuck as well. Many of us here have been in that sitaution I’m sure. But the main thing is he did eventually drop her.

Maybe for casual dating when you know you are not going to invest, it doesn’t matter what her character is. Who cares if she’s crazy if the sex is good and she’s hot, if that’s all you want anyway. But for an actual LTR/ marriage. No, she’s not going to switch from crazy to ideal easy to lead wife unless she’s playing a role to get something from you which is just hiding her true self for a time, but it shows again eventually.

I don’t know, I think some of the advice for causal dating is not applicable for LTR.
 

Spaz

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Were you planning on a prenup or any other method/strategy to reduce your potential financial exposure?

-Augustus-
It's not abt financial exposure nor abt a prenuptial agreement. It was abt my freedom.

I was preparing to marry a 29 year old woman who has been with me for 5 years.

I decided to break it off after some soul searching and I won't deny that being in the SS community has helped towards coming to a conclusion.
 

Spaz

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Maybe so for you, but some things are simply out of one's control. Every person's actions are his or her own. There's no need to accept blame when it belongs elsewhere.
List those "some things" samspade.

Anything you wish or think applies towards "out of control".

And it's more then likely I can provide a solution.
 

Spaz

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It’s easier to have frame and lead when you are not that close to someone, and openly casually dating them (and they are probably doing the same with other people), and are not offering anything other than that.

You control the pace, you are the sole navigator. You set the tone. You are not allowing them to penetrate your wall.

It’s easier, and there’s more control, than actually diving in deep with a person, investing emotionally, and entering an exclusive relationship, where all the risk is, where you don’t get to set the tone and control the pace 100% of the time.

Like what MrGoodstuff was saying about his ex. She was all sweet then showed her true self after they got married. That’s who she was probably all along and you can’t change that. He didn’t fail, he just didn’t drop her as soon as she showed herself maybe because he was invested at that point and maybe he felt stuck as well. Many of us here have been in that sitaution I’m sure. But the main thing is he did eventually drop her.

Maybe for casual dating when you know you are not going to invest, it doesn’t matter what her character is. Who cares if she’s crazy if the sex is good and she’s hot, if that’s all you want anyway. But for an actual LTR/ marriage. No, she’s not going to switch from crazy to ideal easy to lead wife unless she’s playing a role to get something from you which is just hiding her true self for a time, but it shows again eventually.

I don’t know, I think some of the advice for causal dating is not applicable for LTR.
You r not a man thus you can never be what I've mentioned nor even dream of such dreams for ur dreams are those of the feminine imperative - survival.

And that survival is abt attaining power either through the bedroom or the boardroom.
 
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Spaz

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Well good luck with that thinking.. Going down the path to repeat a vicious cycle over and over again?

Yes a man lead and for me i only leading a worthy women, not the crazy one or have an issue for that matter.. I dont take that emotional **** and be part of my life, i wouldnt allowed that to happened to me ever! A women that will nods and play behind your back.. With this kind of mindset its only feed your ego not as a man but more on to codependency. This cycle on fixing compulsion is dysfunctional..

A healthy emotional female RECIPROCATE your love.. Period. And Love is an ever-expanding sense of trust in another, along with admiration and respect for their talents, character, attributes and qualities.

Not endlessly leading, especially when blind leading the blind which not knowing whats love is supposedly to feel is pointless. And thus again the vicous 'leading' cycle will be endless.

At the end what you have in a women reflect your own emotional level as she is.. Thats where the word improved yourself to get a good qualities women come into a reality.. The girl you get reflect your own emotional level.. Period..

Case closed.
You talk of love.

It's actually ur version of love and that of many men.

Is it a women's true version of love?

Continue down this path and you will be broken.
 

lamath

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Her mother was a monster. A true man eater who exploited dozens of men hen pecking them using the local community and police force. Most of her aunts where heavy masculine bull dykes. They where in her ear. I believe she wanted two kids out of me and it never was about love. It was about competition with my ex wife in the world of women. Nothing i couldve done but bailed earlier. I was much younger and naive as well. No way at this age would i have NOT been trying to do much more with her than occasional sex.

Man should take responsibility but sometimes there was nothing at all he could've done other than avoid the situation.
Looking at her family dynamic is a good 9ndicator on how a women sees a LTR

With women ,men too often get into a blindspot, we need to be able to keep an unbias view of our intera tion/ relationship
 

Focal core

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You talk of love.

It's actually ur version of love and that of many men.

Is it a women's true version of love?

Continue down this path and you will be broken.
Like i said i dont take most women.. Even an hb9 with **** up minded throw herself to me i wont take it.

And im not broken in any means.. And stop trying to FIX me.. ure not leading URE JUST AN ANNOYING PERSON a people pleaser for that matter, the emptiness in you i felt on day one And trust me im not just any men. Im scoring chicks anyday i want and i know what i want.. That alone were set us apart..

Im tall good looking and i know chicks games anyday.. Why u wants to play games with women when u can have so much more??
 

The Duke

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AJ84

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You r not a man thus you can never be what I've mentioned nor even dream of such dreams for ur dreams are those of the feminine imperative - survival.

And that survival is abt attaining power either through the bedroom or the boardroom.
The topic is marriage and what it provides that he doesn’t already have, basically asking why make that kind of commitment. If someone is saying they have success in that context, but are not actually married nor even in an exclusive LTR, which you are not, I don’t understand the relevance of your point concerning marriage and your version of success as it relates to the current topic. You spin plates in various cities and are not committed to anyone based on your said choice not to be.

So saying a man should be able to use magic leadership skills and attraction to turn crazy into a mouldable ideal wife and blaming men when they can’t do that is based on what? Your experience of turning such women into wives? Again, you are not married nor committed to anyone in a long term relationship.

That’s like me talking about optimizing a vegan diet on a thread where the topic is how to best slow cook spare ribs.
 

Spaz

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The topic is marriage and what it provides that he doesn’t already have, basically asking why make that kind of commitment. If someone is saying they have success in that context, but are not actually married nor even in an exclusive LTR, which you are not, I don’t understand the relevance of your point concerning marriage and your version of success as it relates to the current topic. You spin plates in various cities and are not committed to anyone based on your said choice not to be.

So saying a man should be able to use magic leadership skills and attraction to turn crazy into a mouldable ideal wife and blaming men when they can’t do that is based on what? Your experience of turning such women into wives? Again, you are not married nor committed to anyone in a long term relationship.

That’s like me talking about optimizing a vegan diet on a thread where the topic is how to best slow cook spare ribs.
Is this the excuse that u r self rationalising 2 make sense of ur own 2nd husband and his inability 2 lead you?
 

Spaz

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Like i said i dont take most women.. Even an hb9 with **** up minded throw herself to me i wont take it.

And im not broken in any means.. And stop trying to FIX me.. ure not leading URE JUST AN ANNOYING PERSON a people pleaser for that matter, the emptiness in you i felt on day one And trust me im not just any men. Im scoring chicks anyday i want and i know what i want.. That alone were set us apart..

Im tall good looking and i know chicks games anyday.. Why u wants to play games with women when u can have so much more??
Never said I was trying 2 fix you.

I just a prediction of ur past, the present you and also into ur immediate future.

And it's free of charge. Ain't that amazing ?
 

mrgoodstuff

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I know you asking Spaz.

I have plenty of marriage and LTR experience.

My last wife fvcked me 2-3 times a day from 2001-2005 acting like she couldnt get enough. Cooked cleaned washed the clothes. Fought and took up for me. I swear to god we got married in 2005 and that night she was like "good, now i dont have to do all that anymore". It didnt register. But the next 6 yrs was the "war of the roses" where she had an intense hatred for me and i faced disrespect and humiliation multiple times daily.
This was a part of the weaponization of women that many men faced at that time. I was not alone. I heard many men where married and the flip switched after marriage and the wife went into a process to destroy him. Leadership cannot stop a determined JUDAS.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Never said I was trying 2 fix you.

I just a prediction of ur past, the present you and also into ur immediate future.

And it's free of charge. Ain't that amazing ?
The future is us men that have faced that should no longer be dumb behind women and the damage they are capable of. I hope entire "types" of women are off the menu going forward.

We should "bait" and test women thoroughly before hand to see if they are prone to this sort of behavior.
 
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Roober

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The key is that men need to protect themselves better. If they do, divorce becomes a mere inconvenience.

Too many men give up their kids and believe their is some sort of honor to uphold in a divorce. Divorce is a strategic chess match, not a fvcking tea party.

And one more thing, marriage is the smart choice of you have kids. In most states, a parent can't take the kids away without a court order. If your not married, she can grab the kids and move clear across the country and it will be much more difficult to sort it out.
 
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