What was your breaking point from nice guy to dj?

[maknmovs]

What was everyone's breaking point, when they realized that being a nice guy was getting them no sex...? was it when u got dumped by a girl, or u just woke up one day and realized that jerks win or? i think my switch to DJ life occured when my last girl dumped me and it hurt like hell, and i guess i got a little bit cold and bitter (ok maybe a lot) in a good way, so im trying not to let my heart be hurt like that again, so i realized that i HAD to switch to avoid pain......or be sh$t upon as usual.....im just trying to find out what drove people to this lifestyle......?

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Life is lost in dreaming, and dreaming is lost in becoming (Motto on the Hard Rock Cafe in Cancun, Mexico)

Ive failed over, and over, and over again in my life, and that is why i succeed..-Michael Jordan

"Success requires no explanations; Failure permits no alibis"

Square playaz get played, pimps get paid, macks persuade

 

[penkitten]

some people are born this way ..most have had to experience pain..the heart wretching kind that you would rather be dead than experience it again...everyone goes thru it.
i keep hearing nice guys finish last and maybe they do but so do nice gals.
i think we all need to be more careful and try not to get played but we cant all hide behind a wall forever.we just have to take chances, live a little or alot and become the best most decent people that we can.
i think this site helps you to self growth.
isnt that the point in life anyhow?to continue growing .

 

[Anson]

My breaking point was finding this site. At first I was extremely skeptical but quite soon I started to realize that me being left alone wasn't a coincidence.

 

[Jester]

It was when a girl who enjoyed touching me very much said "youre too nice" when i was distributing gum among the beggars. That was around 2 months ago.

then i found this site and i realized what had been in the back of my mind for years was true. nice guys finish last.

 

[Turbobird]

This site. I always knew I was a nice guy, but I didn’t know I could do anything about it. This site has made me become a man.

/Turbobird


[This message has been edited by Turbobird (edited 11-25-2001).]

 

[Keymaster of Goza]

Getting the LJBF treatment from the girl I thought was "THE ONE"

 

[BigBill]

Amen Keymaster that's pretty much mine too.

 

[Juan_Man]

I used to have this feeling that only I finished last until I reached the ninth grade. By this time, I realized that the guys who were grabbing asses, snapping bras, and calling girls hoochie-mamas were getting all the girls. I, on the other hand, would scare girls off once they found out I liked them. Once you're in the friendzone serving as an emotional tampon (no offense Wyldlife, penkitten), there's no turning back. I still didn't change much in high school until I came to this site during my senior year and realized that being a nice guy was affecting me in other areas besides getting girls.

 

[Sociopath31]

Guys raised by mum are highly subject to niceguyism.

I found this site when I had some troubles. I didn't pay much attention. I came back after my next relationship failed when i chased her away with niceguyism.

So I came back, and I'll be damned if it didn't hit me like a sack of bricks how wrong I was. After 3 months or so, I had the DJ mindset. My life changed. I reclaimed my manlihood.

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"That girl looks so good... NEXT!"
~Gangstarr

HIGH SCHOOL DJ BIBLE
Read it. Live it.

 

[AlfredB18]

To be honest, I think my turning point did involve waking up one moring and staring up at the ceiling and thinking, "****, what the hell am I doing to all these girls to become an extended brother to them???"

Then, I got out of bed, got pissed, and probably saved up some money and spent it all on treating myself real gooood.

"Uh, Alfred, where are you taking me this weekend? [ME:] Well, I spent time doing some soul-searching and spent all my money on myself...Bye-bye GOLDDIGGER!"

[This message has been edited by AlfredB18 (edited 11-25-2001).]

 

[wjboogy]

a DJ is basically what women call "A Dog" in a nuttshell.

Remember you girls are the ones creating the dogs/jerks. Maybe you should treat your men better. Because too many girls think its all about them. its 50/50

 

[Sociopath31]

A Jerk is a Dog. A DJ is not a Jerk. Therefor, a DJ is not a Dog. Why put us down like that?

 

[Nightwing]

For me, it was the same as for everyone else. I saw all the jerks getting the women and respect and I wasnt getting shyt despite all the things that mom told me while I was growing up. I resorted to jerk tactics and that got me lots of azz, but I didnt feel right about that either because I was hurting a lot of chicks in the process, not to mention that they dumped me anyway when they found out that I was full of shyt. But after I got on this site, with the help of a few of you guys, I found out that being a gentleman was OK, and that I confused being a gentleman with a nice guy. Its Ok to be a romantic and treat a woman like a lady, the key is first to be a challenge and in order to keep them coming back for more and two, only give them that type of treatment when they deserve it.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by Juan_Man:
I used to have this feeling that only I finished last until I reached the ninth grade. By this time, I realized that the guys who were grabbing asses, snapping bras, and calling girls hoochie-mamas were getting all the girls. I, on the other hand, would scare girls off once they found out I liked them. Once you're in the friendzone serving as an emotional tampon (no offense Wyldlife, penkitten), there's no turning back. I still didn't change much in high school until I came to this site during my senior year and realized that being a nice guy was affecting me in other areas besides getting girls.

no offense taken..i dunt wanna be a chump no more either silly

 

[gussy]

mine was when i got dumped by a girl that i've been courting for years. This is so because i was to nice. Then try to look for solution that might change her mind. I found the this site and at first i said binggo. Lot of new tips and strategies but in the end it was me changing my mind about her.

It sucks to be a friend and it hurts to be a nice guy. Just a warning for those who dont want to go to the same process- form a self confess nice juy

 

[bclarke675]

My turning point came a long time ago, after many of the women I had been interested in dating said they wanted to just be friends because I was too nice. I just didn't know what I needed to do to change that until I found this site after my divorce.

I guess that I started looking for help on the Internet to get me through the pain of my divorce and somehow found this forum. I can't even tell you how I found it now, but it's changing my life more and more everyday!

I'm thinking sosuave.com might have been mentioned in a book I ordered from Rodale about getting women, but I can't remember for sure.

 

[MaddDawg29]

My breaking point came during my senior year in college. The girl I was dating for about 4 months ended up dumping me for her previous boyfriend who, incidentally, verbally abused and cheated on her during their first relationship. During the time we dated, she would say things like: "You're not aggressive enough." or "Why can't you be more assertive like so-and-so?" I hated that neurotic heifer for a long time after she dumped me, seeing as how I treated her like a queen. But she taught me a valuable lesson, not only about women, but also about myself. I swore after that never to be a "nice guy" ever again.

 

[TheDude]

I've know I was a nice guy for quite awhile. This site didn't alert me to it, just is helping me deal with it in so many ways.

I have in my life always been a listener. I care about people, have had jobs that were about caring for people, and in the course of all of that I have learned that I am a very emphathic person. Problem is, people take advantage of that. You begin having problems seperating what is THEIR problems and pain, and what is YOUR problems and pain. And especially with women, who I think intuitively know you are emphatic and thus gravitate toward you because you do what most men don't: listen.

The breaking point for me was about 2 months ago. I had known this woman for about 6 years, and we had incredible chemistry. Even though I knew she was involved with someone we carried on like storybook forbidden lovers, and I continued to be her KISA, and was there for her when the jerk treated her like shyt, lied to her, ect. Then she married him. And like a dumbass I STILL carried on listening to her midnight crying phone calls. She knew all along that I was crazy about her, and I knew she was attracted to me (things almost happened a few times). When she was unhappy with him, she would lay on the compliments and flirtations with me. I recognized it. But did nothing to stop.
Then, I found out that in the course of all of this, she had been having numerous affairs. I was so hurt- damn! she told me so many times, "If I wasn't with him, I'd be with you, I'm giving him one more chance" blah blah blah". Here, she was getting everything she wanted- a stable marriage with the hubby, sex with no strings attached from whomever, and the listening caring admiration from me. It was so hurtful to realize that she would jeopardize a marriage for meaningless sex with someone, but not for the one who treated her with respect and actually cared about her.
Thats when I said Fukk it. It still hurts just to write this. To know what a shmuck I was.

Being a nice guy isn't necessarily the problem, my brother DJ's. It's not having enough self-respect to know that you do not have to be less than anybody else. That you count too! Your problems, pain, and happiness are not less important than anybody's elses, not even the hottest chick in the damn world.

TheDude, respectfully abiding...

 

[Sting]

TheDude, I couldn't have said it better --

No woman's problems are more important than your own.

A key principle to being a DJ is that while you are respectful of others, you must always put yourself first. No exceptions.

If a woman expects you to put her problems first, you must tell her that she needs to find out the answer herself -- because they are HER PROBLEMS. She created the problems, and it is her job to solve them.

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It could happen to you, just like it happened to me, there is simply no immunity, there's no guarantee...

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

I actually had two seperate breaking points. The first was back about 6 1/2 years ago. I finally got fed up with women's crap, and, to make a short story long, ended up unintentionally putting into practice a great many of the DJ principles. That is when I met and married my wife.

My second breaking point came about 1 1/2 years ago. I got tired of my wife's sh*t, or more specifically, her disrespect. In addition to being disrespectful, she was also a drama queen. Back into the DJ mode I went (although I didn't know it was being a "DJ" at the time).

I simply quit kow-towing to her unreasonable demands/wants. I started to put myself first.

My only regret is that I hadn't done that years earlier. I will NEVER let a woman (ANY woman) disrespect me again.

My attitude is now thus: *I* am the alpha male, and if the b*tch doesn't like it, she can get out of my cave!

Plenty more where that came from.