Difficult topic. Hardly ever will a mother have a good influence on a man's future dating life. why? Because tge mother is either:
** too protective. She shelters her son so much, that he can't let his mother go. Exactly, a mommy's boy. Every woman will be compared with his" holy mother ". A man like this needs his mother's approval to continue with a woman, and that obviously is a huge turn off.
On top of this mommy's boys often need a replacement for mama, somebody who knows how to operate a washing machine, how to iron clothes ,make decent food ect.
men like these are destined to be bluepilled beta men. I see it all around me. Men almost 40 still living at home ,or really close to their parents house(like 1or 2 streets away). Still bringing laundry to mommy.
**she is too distant. A man with a loveless mother on the other hand will also create a crooked view on what a woman is. Men like these might chase" the love they've always missed". Tends to happen more when a man is raised by only his mother.
** so is there even a solution? Yes the MAN ofcourse. A mother's upbringing of her son is as strong as the man behind her. A man must lead her and give instructions how to raise a boy to a man. Especially because he will spend less time with him than she will due work ect.
##But unfortunately , most men are beta. So eventually it is STILL the woman whose in charge. And growing up with a beta father might be worst than growing up without one.
For a man its extremely important to have a strong father figure. Without a strong man even the mothers with best intentions will mess up their sons to some degree.
Great post.
I was raised by Father and Stepmom. I love my father, but he usually deferred to my Step mom, who became the leader of the house I grew up in. I was raised in a blended family (2 half brothers, 2 Step brothers). Basically, it was role reversal, for the most part. My father drew a disability check, and my step mom worked. I think that had the most to do with it.
I made a post about the experience that had the biggest impact on my red pill awareness, if I find it, I'll post it here. Basically, it was about one of my step brothers sleeping and marrying my ex.
Also, when I became "aware", I started thinking about my own mother. She didn't raise me, but I did see her from time to time. She would falls under the "
distant" category you described, even though I wasn't raised by her. My mother probably forms my default assumption of all women. She was Bipolar, and an alcoholic, and was very promiscuous. She told me, unprompted, she cheated on my father multiple times, and my step dad.
My experiences with 2 types of mother (
negligent mother), and step mom that raised me (
conditional love at best), definitely played a huge role in how I view and approach women. This made me realize how important a strong father figure is, and most men don't seem to have one. I watched how our upbringing affected my younger brothers. I'm the oldest sibling, but for some reason I almost feel responsible for how my brothers turned out (blue pill). Even though I know it's not true, I thought that for a long time there was something I didn't do that may have contributed to my brothers not having a masculine presence in the home. I naturally felt the need to protect them due to that.
I don't know if those situations have help me or hurt me in regards to women, but I can say for sure, that I know which ones to avoid for the long term (marriage/LTR/family).
As far as trauma, I think it's a prerequisite for men to become alphas (on some level at least), but also depends on how the guy dealt with the trauma. Effectively, someone who overcame the trauma and became stronger as a result vs. someone who let the trauma beat them down and became weaker.
