What to say when a girl or their friend asks if you like her?

[Jayhawk]

If I talk to or flirt with a girl a lot, someone usually ends up asking me if I like her; sometimes it's that girl that asks me. It's just always really weird and uncomfortable when someone asks me that. I usually try to avoid the question or say "eh, they're kinda alright" or something like that. What would you all say is the best response to a question such as that? I'm a sophomore in high school, by the way. Also it's my first post here after reading and learning a ton here.

 

[FreshMenTank]

Aye man, I'm new here. But if there's one thing I've learned here, it's that confidence is key. So next time someone asks you that question, speak the truth, and do it with dignity. Because you'll regret not trying more then you will getting rejected.

 

[Scars]

If you do then "Yes." if not "No." there is no if ands or maybes.

You're in HS. HS girls are looking for a MAN. Someone who doesn't beat around the bush and says what he feels and does what he wants.

Check it from somebody who just graduated from HS. You won't get laid or get a girlfriend by beating around the bush. If she is asking you this then she is probably interested too. Just say what's on your mind. If you want to separate yourself from the other guys then you got to be ballsy. Don't be afraid to give compliments either. Just do them in person. Not on facebook or myspace otherwise you're just like every other creep. Don't be afraid to be flirty, and most importantly don't be afraid of being shot down or being rejected. Walk with a swagger and utter and total confidence. You will gain respect from the other girls, and possibly even the upper classmen.

Good luck.

-Scars

 

[hero_hont]

if you like her.........

If I talk to or flirt with a girl a lot, someone usually ends up asking me if I like her; sometimes it's that girl that asks me. It's just always really weird and uncomfortable when someone asks me that. I usually try to avoid the question or say "eh, they're kinda alright" or something like that. What would you all say is the best response to a question such as that? I'm a sophomore in high school, by the way. Also it's my first post here after reading and learning a ton here.

hihi........you :cheer:
if you like her,what do you usually talk with a you girl?
I usually talk honey in the like,wonderful draw when i sit again her...
hihi, what would you sall : I miss you............
:woo:
try hard...

 

[AlexLefty]

Aye man, I'm new here. But if there's one thing I've learned here, it's that confidence is key. So next time someone asks you that question, speak the truth, and do it with dignity. Because you'll regret not trying more then you will getting rejected.

I disagree with this post and with Scars.

By giving a direct answer, or 'speaking your mind' you are showing her how completely predictable you are, not to mention taking all of the mystery out of the relationship. What a girl wants is a mystery man, a challenge so to speak, she wants to lay awake at night unable to sleep because she's thinking of you (whether or not she realizes it) and it just so happens, this is what you want her to think aswell.

You want her to be practically day dreaming about you and thinking how different you are from all the other guys, that there's just something about you that she wants to figure out, but just can't, and she won't stop until she can.

Think about it, (because i'm sure this has happened to all of us) would you rather date a girl that you KNOW is head over heals for you, who you know for certain likes you and will do almost anything for you, she'll buy you things and make free time in her life just for you, you in short, make no effort OR would you rather date a girl who you're just not quite sure about, a girl who you suspect is attracted to you, but your just not sure, a girl who's exciting and is a challenge and a girl who doesn't always have spare time for you but when she does, you have a blast hanging out.

Now whether you realize it or not, you want girl number TWO. And here's why: girl number two is EXCITING, she is a MYSTERY, she's fun and you will never really know what you're guna get from her. She is..unlike girl number one. Girl number one is always predictable and actually, kind of boring, you realize how easy it is for you to get girl number one to do stuff for you and you realize, "hey, if this girl likes me so much, there must be other, BETTER, girls out there who like me more, if she is showering me with gifts all the time, there must be hundreds of other women who are interested in me and who are even more interesting than her!" You're positive you can have girl number one, but not quite so sure about girl number two..and we always want what we can't have.

Now the reason I went into all of that is because a girl thinks basically the same way. If you give her a straight answer and say "Yes I like you", then you just took all the MYSTERY, and FUN out of the relationship. She'll know she has you by the b@lls and will move on to someone else, someone better. Because heck, if you like her, someone even BETTER than you must like her too, right?

If a girl ever asks you if you like her, NEVER give her a direct answer. In fact, direct answers are generally a bad thing in most cases.
Some appropriate responses might be:
"Nooo, I loooveee you!!" With a sarcastic voice and a grin
Or
"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough"

Basically anything that doesn't give a direct Yes or No answer, leave her at the edge of her seat, wanting more and wondering about it, and when she'll get it.

 

[Scars]

I disagree with this post and with Scars.

By giving a direct answer, or 'speaking your mind' you are showing her how completely predictable you are, not to mention taking all of the mystery out of the relationship. What a girl wants is a mystery man, a challenge so to speak, she wants to lay awake at night unable to sleep because she's thinking of you (whether or not she realizes it) and it just so happens, this is what you want her to think aswell.

No. Speaking your mind clearly identifies you as a man. A man who knows what he wants and goes for it. Playing hard to get is HS, kiddy crap. I realize this is a HS forum, but if you clearly identify yourself as a rational level headed man who isn't afraid of rejection then you ARE doing the exact opposite of being predictable. These HS girls are so used to guys hitting them up on facebook and such telling them how cute they are, but they don't have the balls to do it in person. They become shy, socially awkward, even sometimes annoying when they are actually around the girl. There's nothing wrong with being a mystery. If you make it known you like a girl then they know one fact about you. That you like somebody. They still don't know your life story. They don't know what you do once you get home and you're by yourself. They don't know what you do on weekends. They only see the outside percentage of you.

You want her to be practically day dreaming about you and thinking how different you are from all the other guys, that there's just something about you that she wants to figure out, but just can't, and she won't stop until she can.

Pvssy footing around is not a way to get a girl to like you. It may work for awhile. But eventually girls get bored. After awhile she is going to think you aren't interested. Then some upper classmen senior, who actually knows what the hell he is doing is going to come up and swoop up on that girl. Why? Because he has BALLS.

Think about it, (because i'm sure this has happened to all of us) would you rather date a girl that you KNOW is head over heals for you, who you know for certain likes you and will do almost anything for you, she'll buy you things and make free time in her life just for you, you in short, make no effort OR would you rather date a girl who you're just not quite sure about, a girl who you suspect is attracted to you, but your just not sure, a girl who's exciting and is a challenge and a girl who doesn't always have spare time for you but when she does, you have a blast hanging out.

One of the biggest problems I see on this forum, especially in the HS forum is that too many guys are trying to play mind games after the girl is attracted. They read a few tips on this forum and OVERKILL it with too much "game". The majority of the material on this site is about how to get a girl attracted. Once she is attracted it's all about maintaining that attraction.

I assume you know MM sense you seem to talk about "Mystery" a lot. What is his formula? Attract, comfort, seduce. If a girl is already attracted there is no need for head games. There comes a point when you know she wants it and you just have to go for it. You wont get anywhere beating around the bush. You've got to jump into the comfort stage. "Yes, I like you too." then you start seducing her. That's how you get the kiss, that's how you get layed.

Now whether you realize it or not, you want girl number TWO. And here's why: girl number two is EXCITING, she is a MYSTERY, she's fun and you will never really know what you're guna get from her. She is..unlike girl number one. Girl number one is always predictable and actually, kind of boring, you realize how easy it is for you to get girl number one to do stuff for you and you realize, "hey, if this girl likes me so much, there must be other, BETTER, girls out there who like me more, if she is showering me with gifts all the time, there must be hundreds of other women who are interested in me and who are even more interesting than her!" You're positive you can have girl number one, but not quite so sure about girl number two..and we always want what we can't have.

Everyone has their own opinions. But right now you are simply switching gender rolls. WOMAN love mysterious men. WOMAN want a challenge. Men however, will fvck anything as long as it's cute enough. If I wanted to jump through a bunch of hoops to get pvssy I would start dating an attention wh0re. To be honest, I like the satisfaction of a girl being in love with me and knowing she would never leave me. Knowing the pvssy is always there, at any time, for my disposal. If she is boring, then you start spinning more plates, find a girl that is more interesting. But keep the other one, you'll want it later.

Now the reason I went into all of that is because a girl thinks basically the same way. If you give her a straight answer and say "Yes I like you", then you just took all the MYSTERY, and FUN out of the relationship. She'll know she has you by the b@lls and will move on to someone else, someone better. Because heck, if you like her, someone even BETTER than you must like her too, right?

"Because heck, if you like her, someone even BETTER than you must like her too, right?"

This is a horrible mindset to have. This is the thought process of a beta male. Guys who let it be known who and what they want have confidence. There is nothing more attractive than confidence. Thus you ARE the better man. But you can't just think it, you have to KNOW it.

Also, you say "I like you" kills the mystery and fun out of a relationship. The relationship has hardly even STARTED yet. How are you going to even get the ball rolling if you two can't even establish to each other that you have feelings for each other? This makes absolutely no sense.

If a girl ever asks you if you like her, NEVER give her a direct answer. In fact, direct answers are generally a bad thing in most cases.
Some appropriate responses might be:
"Nooo, I loooveee you!!" With a sarcastic voice and a grin
Or
"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough"

Now you've got the right idea. Using body language is much more effective. But as far as HS goes. Most girls are very inexperienced. If you say you like them there is nothing wrong or non-DJ about it. Confidence is key. Some of these girls are so god damn stupid that if you try and pull a line like that they STILL might think you aren't interested. And some other guy will then swoop up on her and you will feel like an idiot. I've seen it happen. It's even happened to me. When the whole time all it took was me to just be ballsy and say, yeah you're my girl.

Basically anything that doesn't give a direct Yes or No answer, leave her at the edge of her seat, wanting more and wondering about it, and when she'll get it.

You've got the right philosophy. But if she is already attracted, STOP playing games. Nothing is wrong with mystery or being edgy, but don't over kill it. Save this tactic after the relationship has already been established.

-Scars

 

[kevin1198]

thanks Scars.
everything that is mentioned about mystery and being vague does help. but theres a certain point where you'll have to stop. I've lost one to many to being Mr. Mystery for too long.

personally i've taken a more "direct" approach to things and i feel more comfortable this way. It feels natural and im liking the improvements made so far just by being a little more "direct".

 

[ARrocket]

Pvssy footing around is not a way to get a girl to like you. It may work for awhile. But eventually girls get bored. After awhile she is going to think you aren't interested. Then some upper classmen senior, who actually knows what the hell he is doing is going to come up and swoop up on that girl. Why? Because he has BALLS.

There is a difference between pvssy footing around and being a challenge.

When that question arises and you tell a girl "yes, I do like her," you are not being a challenge. IF the girl is already attracted to you (which she SHOULD be if you are getting questions like this), then it may not damage to situation too much, but you can really amplify the attraction by diffusing the situation better with a C&F or some other non-predictable sort of reply.

Obviously, if you pvssy foot around and PRETEND TO NOT BE INTERESTED, you will lose the girl. But you don't show your attraction through what you say to her. That is basically saying "hey I like you!" Game killer right there.

So you give the unpredictable response, and THEN SHOW her you like her through your ACTIONS. You get her phone number. You hang out with her outside of school. You isolate. You escalate. THAT is how she will know you are interested. And that is how she will be interested.

 

[AlexLefty]

No. Speaking your mind clearly identifies you as a man. A man who knows what he wants and goes for it. Playing hard to get is HS, kiddy crap. I realize this is a HS forum, but if you clearly identify yourself as a rational level headed man who isn't afraid of rejection then you ARE doing the exact opposite of being predictable.

Now, I'm going to have to once again disagree with you. My response has come from experience and from research (i have no clue who mm is). Many times girls have asked me if I like them, and earlier I would always say yes, why, because I did. Once I established that I liked her I thought I would have a relationship blossom over night. But just the opposite happened, and she barley even spoke to me after that. The reason being because like most girls, she was an attention wh0re and was just using me to boost her own self confidence.

Just because she asks if you like her does not mean she's attracted to you. You're assuming that the girl is already attracted, but im talking about how to attract her. Even if she is attracted, simply going up to her and saying, "I like you" is still wrong. There are better ways to appear confidant than by openly admitting to the girl that you like her. In fact, shouldn't you be trying to sweep the girl off her feet? Shouldn't you be trying to seduce her with your charisma and charm? Blurting out that you like her is hardly the way to do it. That is not to say that you pvssy foot around the girl, trying to get her to like you, you simply take a different approach, rather than saying that you like her. You take the DJ approach and charm her and take her on a date. You see, when you say that you like her, you're basically putting it all on the line, all your eggs in one basket, hoping that she responds with an "I like you too".

But what if she doesn't respond favorably? See, that is not the DJ thing to do because you're HOPING that she will become your gf after you utter your "i like you" phrase. Instead of HOPING, you need to make SURE she becomes yours, by getting her number and taking her on a date. YOU make her FALL for YOU, rather than hoping that she already likes you (which chances are, she doesn't). You APPROACH (confidence) her, maybe make a small compliment (confidence) and get her number (confidence). You then set up a fun and exciting date and charm her with your charisma (confidence). Now, you've approached the girl, gone on a fun and exciting date, shown how attractive and fun you are, shown that you like her...all without actually SAYING that you like her.

While saying "I like you" may show that you have the balls to actually admit you're attracted to her, it doesn't entice her at all to like you BACK. That is where your DJ and conversational skills come into play, while you're on a DATE.

And whether you like it or not, this is HS, which means you have to play by HS rules. Playing hard to get is VERY important (as i've already explained) but it is of course, not your ENTIRE game. It is actually a very small portion to get her thinking about you so when you actually tell her that the two of you are going on a date, there's no way she can refuse.

Pvssy footing around is not a way to get a girl to like you. It may work for awhile. But eventually girls get bored. After awhile she is going to think you aren't interested. Then some upper classmen senior, who actually knows what the hell he is doing is going to come up and swoop up on that girl. Why? Because he has BALLS.

I've already talked about this but I'll reiterate. Giving a cliff hanger answer is NOT pvssy footing around, because you ARE taking the direct approach because you ARE the one who is getting HER number and is telling HER where the two of you are going for a date. The cliff hanger is simply to increase her interest levels and keep them there.

One of the biggest problems I see on this forum, especially in the HS forum is that too many guys are trying to play mind games after the girl is attracted. They read a few tips on this forum and OVERKILL it with too much "game". The majority of the material on this site is about how to get a girl attracted. Once she is attracted it's all about maintaining that attraction.

Mind games are a BIG part of it. After all, how do you expect the girl to like you if she never thinks about you? You play a few mind games and then you APPROACH and go on a DATE.

"Because heck, if you like her, someone even BETTER than you must like her too, right?"

This is a horrible mindset to have. This is the thought process of a beta male. Guys who let it be known who and what they want have confidence. There is nothing more attractive than confidence. Thus you ARE the better man. But you can't just think it, you have to KNOW it.

Saying "I like you" actually does not convey to her that you are a man AT ALL. It simply shows that you are too inexperienced to game her, to get her number, to take her on a date, too inexperienced to charm her, so you blurt out "I like you" and hope that she responds favorably.

"Because heck, if you like her, someone even BETTER than you must like her too, right?"

And the quote, actually, is not the mindset that you should have, I'm saying that its the mindset that the girl will have once you admit that you like her. She'll move on to someone who she believes is better than you, someone who is a CHALLENGE. While this new man may not really be better than you, this man is in her MIND, because this man is a CHALLENGE, she actually has to WORK to get this other man, thus, he must be better than you, because the best things in life are earned through WORKING. Once you admit that you like her, her work is done, and she WILL move on.

You've got the right philosophy. But if she is already attracted, STOP playing games. Nothing is wrong with mystery or being edgy, but don't over kill it. Save this tactic after the relationship has already been established.

The point is you don't KNOW if she likes you already. The cliffhanger is to INCREASE the change that she WILL like you. Then when you go on a DATE, that's when you see how truly interested she is. I agree that once you KNOW a girl likes you, you have to step up and go on a DATE with her (but hopefully you go on a date even before you know she likes you).

Just because the girl asks if you like her, does not necessary mean she likes you too, she could just be a filthy attention wh0re, which is why you use the CLIFFHANGER.

Overall, the point is to return her question with a cliffhanger response, maybe something C&F or just funny. This cliff hanger will get her to think about you. You then BE A MAN and get her number and go on a date, all the while charming her and using kino, by the end of the night you’ll KNOW that she likes you. But if you just blurt out “I like you Cindy”, you don’t KNOW, but are rather HOPING that she responds with an “I like you too”, which is NOT how a DJ rolls. ;o

 

[Cil]

There are so many variables involved in this question that there is no correct response for 100% of the time. If the girl herself is asking you need to use your best judgement based on the tone and manner in which she poses the question to judge if she is intersted or not.

It is rather easy to do if you are socially developed enough to pick up on basic things like sarcasm and exasperation you will be able to tell if the question shows genuine interest or concern (if she sounds concern she is obviously not interested in hearing a yes).

If she does sound genuine and you are interested you could say yes or even better just kiss her and have that be your answer. On the otherhand if a friend of yours or hers is asking you simply tell them that is between you and hb. If they tell you she told them to ask tell them that she needs to be a big girl and find out for herself (though you might not want to be so blunt about it).

Between the two giving you advice here, although both are making valid points, you should listen to Scars about being confident and honest. For example if hb asks you if you like her and you dont but you decide to be all mysterious about it and keep her guessing in regards to whether or not she has a chance that isn't being a dj that's just being an *******. If you are wrong in assuming she is interested and you reply with a confident yes only to be turned down then you know she is just an AW and you save yourself from having to waste any more time in learning how to deal with her (you just move on AW are not worth your time).

in summary:
Decide if the question is genuine
If it is be confident and honest and reap the rewards
If it's not you know not waste any of your time and can move on

most importantly remember the worst thing that can happen if you are honest is you either reject someone or get rejected. In either scenario if you are upfront about your intentions no one will fault you for what happens. I'm fresh out of HS myself and remember that the place has an insanely efficient grapevine and a reputation as being honest is a lot better for you than one of being a conniving *******.

 

[AlexLefty]

What I'm talking about comes from personal experience that simply saying "I like you" does not work. There are better ways to exude confidence, like asking her out. In terms of making her like you, being a little mysterious when she asks you, AND then showing confidence within the next day or two by asking her out will be much more effective.

In terms of judging the girl by what she says, you don't want to do that. ALWAYS judge a girl by her actions. She may say that she likes you, or that there might be a chance that she likes you, but in reality there's no way in hell; she just didn't want to hurt your feelings (or wanted to keep you as her pet). The opposite could be true as well, she may be too shy or a little afraid too plain out admit that she does like you. The only way to TRULY judge a girl is by her ACTIONS. For instance, take her on a date, whether or not she accepts the date is one thing, and how she acts during the date is another.

Also, no one said anything about being a dovch and leading her on when you yourself arn't interested. If you're really not interested then tell her so, if you're on the fence or are interested, give her a cliffhanger. You show your honesty and confidence the next day or two when you two go on a DATE.

Here's another quick angle to think about. What you're suggesting brings me back to elementary school days. If you liked a girl back then, you simply told her, maybe presented her with chocolates and if she liked you too, you would become bf/gf right then and there. In elementary school the only game you had was saying "I like you" and hoping for her favorable response. But this is HS now, relationships are more complicated, and girls want to be charmed and wooed and kept on the edge of their seats. The game is a little different and simply saying "I like you" is not good enough

While saying "I like you" may show that you have the balls to actually admit you're attracted to her, it doesn't entice her at all to like you BACK. That is where your DJ and conversational skills come into play, while you're on a DATE.

 

[Scars]

First off, I would like to say that I think the negative rep I received from you outlines a little bit of bitterness don't you think? You make some valid points. I agree with certain things you said, but I also disagree with other things. There are many variables involved. My reply is assuming the girl is already attracted. Unless you are socially retarded you KNOW when a girl is attracted. Most of my advice I give assumes the person has at least a little bit of game. If you got game a simple "Yes" will work. You just have to follow it up right.

Of course I'm not saying that showing "yes" through your actions instead of your words doesn't work. I know it does. In fact it's quite a good technique. But to say that an "I like you" doesn't work is just plain ignorance.

You say you're speaking through experience, so am I.

You are simply trying to make yourself out to be better by saying your "technique" is full proof and is the only one that works. When in fact, there is always more than one way to attain something. I'm not saying your technique doesn't work. You are the one saying there is only ONE way to do something, which is not true.

I take into consideration the certain variables while giving out advice. I noted that this is a High School forum. And I hate to say it, but HS girls are stupid, and don't really require much "game" at all.

In fact, if you really want to get deep into it. We can talk about the fact that game doesn't even necessarily matter in HS at all. The only variables that matter are your LOOKS and your SOCIAL STATUS. These are the only things HS girls really care about. If you follow the path of a DJ long enough you will become social and gain respect from your peers, and hopefully keep climbing the latter until you ultimately become a high status male. Which is what every woman wants. If you have status in HS, you can pretty much get any girl you want. If you re-read my original replies or even countless of my other replies you will notice how much I stress this mindset. The mindset of being a high status male, but not just thinking it, BEING it, LIVING it. When you believe you are something, you become it. If you believe you are better. You WILL be better. So walking around with confidence and status (even if you have to fake it until you make it) a "Yes" will work for you. I won't deny playing games won't work, but it's unneeded. I've always taken a very direct approach while gaming. It has never failed me. In fact, a lot of people have started mimicking my style because they started to realize how many opportunities they have been truly missing out on.

Cil also brought up a very good point about how direct approach will often fish out the AW's and "unworthy's". This is very true. Again, if you read my original reply you will notice that I outlined the art of being fearless of rejection. Once you get rid of this fear it doesn't really matter what approach you take. Because failure does not effect you. "Yes" could fail. If it does, who cares? She wanted some validation of being "wanted" good for her. You realize this and move on to the next girl. Why waste your time any more than you have to?

For any newbies out there that think I'm important enough to listen to what I have to say I would say Anti-Dump method + direct approach is the way to go. I've read Mystery and some others, and it's not really my style. Like I said, unless you are socially retarded you know when a girl likes you. I can walk around in a mall and if I catch eye contact with a girl multiple times, or she smiles at me, or some girl gets loud and obnoxious by talking real loud trying to get my attention when I'm in close proximity then I know she is digging me. From there I can make the decision to approach or not and I usually do. Very rarely do I cold approach any girl that hasn't at least caught eye contact with me. That's why I would probably say my success rate is about %85. Anti-Dump. You KNOW the girl already likes you. So you come in direct and ballsy. You know she wants it, she knows you want it. You make it clear what your motives are from the very start. If she's on board, great. If not, next. Why waste your time?

-Scars