what to say... what to say...

[Climax]

ok folks.... This is the situation that one of my good friend is in and in the past whenever he had a problem with girls/ladies i was able to help him, but with this problem i am not sure on what to tell him, so maybe u people could help me out here...

The Situation:

His and this one girl have been best freinds for over 1 year now, and about 2 months ago they decided that they wanted to become more than just friends, & they really are a good match...
But the other day he came up to me nearly in tears cause he was so worried about ONE thing... & that thing was that he said that he had NOTHING to talk with her about anymore and that he feels like an idiot just sitting there next to here & not being able to make conversation with her.

He sais that the reason that there is "nothing" more to talk about is because for the past year they have spent so much time togeather that they know EVERYTHING that there is to know about eachother.

So i gave him different things that he should talk about but 90% of the things that i told him to talk about he had already spoken about with her, and more.

So the other day i told him that i needed a few days to think about this, and i really dont want to let him down, especially now when he has found the "right" girl for him.

So what i am asking of you people is to please help me out with giving some idea's and maybe some of you have gone through the same kind of situation?

A link to a good site that i could recommend that he goes to would also be a lot of help

Ok... I think u get the idea of what i am asking/looking for, so if u think u can help please dont hesitate to reply to this post

Otherwise... keep well all & I'll catch up to you all laterz...

 

[squirrels]

Tell him to stop sitting around talking all the time and go DO something with her. Then they'll have stuff to talk about again.

 

[Climax]

hmmm......

U see.. thats the thing... everything that u DO involves talking, does it not?

& he DOES go out with her alot...

Let me guve u some examples:

1) Movies - Movies are firstly boring and too common, and they have done it many times in the past. So its getting old/boring now.

2) Out for a nice supper - The 2 of them will be sitting at the table eating... now what? they just sit there in silence after the 1st few minutes that they find something to speak about? After the basics of "oh look, this place looks nice" and " this food is great" or "they place nice music here" etc... after all that talk is over, what are they meant to talk about then?

He told me many times that they would go to dinner & half way through he would start feeling really arkward/uncomfortable because there was nothing to talk about.

Then that also brings me to my next question... what to people that are married for like 20-30 years find to talk about? *sigh*

& its not like i can teach him DJ (Don Juan) overnight, it took me till years, & i'm STILL learning more every day. I gave him a few key points & things to talk about, but like i said previously, he has already spoken to her about EVERYTHING... hmm....

I suggested to him to take her to NEW places and to do new things so that would create new things to talk about, but then he replied saying " I have already taken her EVERYWHERE" ... I guess Cape Town isnt a place that offers many things to do. he is only 18 and she is 17, so its not like he can take her oversea's for holiday or something.

I think that what i'm gonna do is make him a "booklet" on what to say & how to say things "differently";P

Well, thanx for the reply though, & i look forward to hearing ur further comments/thoughts ont eh situation

take care all...

Laterz...

anyways...

 

[squirrels]

No...DO something.

Sitting on your ass in front of a movie screen or a plate of spaghetti does not count as DOING something.

 

[SDFUandDie]

SOUNDS LIKE THEY ARE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE! LOL

HEY TELL HIM TO TIE HER UP IN THE BEDROOM AND GRAB SOME STRAWBERRIES AND SEDUCE HER AZZ... THEN THEY DONT NEED TO TALK!

ON THE REAL, ME AND MY EX WHERE LIKE THAT, WE DID LIVE TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS AND BEEN FRIENDS FOR 2 PRIOR TO THE RELATIONSHIP. WE ENDED UP FINISHING EACH OTHERS SENTENCES AND ETC... I ENDED UP CHEATING ON MY EX (BIG MISTAKE) I SHOULDA BEEN TRYING TO KEEP HER IN MY LIFE.

THATS HOW RELATIONSHIPS ARE. HE NEEDS TO SPICE THINGS UP A LIL. KINKY SEX? LOVE NOTES? MAYBE THEY NEED A VACATION FROM EACH OTHER? THEN WHEN THEY GET BACK TOGETHER THEY HAVE LOTS TO TALK ABOUT.

 

[thefonz]

they are an old married couple, they spend WAY to much time together sounds like.....take a break, find him something other than his girl to consume his day with......let him come home to her at the end of the day with a sore back, tired legs and loads of stories to tell

People who spend all day with their girl make me wanna go a big rubbery one

P.S- He didn't actually cry to you....did he?

 

[Climax]

tra la la la la...

squirrels: when u say "DO SOMETHING" ... what exactly do you mean? A Few examples would be appreciated

SDFUandDie: lol... u got a nice imagination there ey;P ... but they are in their teens dude, all that kinky sex stuff is for us adults to explore & enjoy

yaw... but thanx for the idea's, hehe... well... squirrels, I'll be waiting for those examples aight

Shweet stuff...

sh0t for the replies....

Laterz...

P.S.: he was like in tears cause he never knew what to do... he tends to get emotional at times, but he really DOES love her, so i guess that he is affraid of loosing her.

 

[squirrels]

Go someplace other than a restaurant or movie. Try going out and doing something recreational: hiking, fishing, climbing, picnics, tennis, bowling, pool, air hockey, zoos/museums...something that stimulates conversation. Instead of going to a theater where you have to be quiet, watch some DVDs or TV at home. Play some games. Double date with other people. Travel! Take road trips! Do stuff you would normally be into alone, but are better with other people.

Movie theaters suck because you have to be quiet. Dinner sucks because you're busy stuffing your face and often don't have a lot around you to stimulate you.

And what you may want to consider is starting to do stuff on your OWN, so when you DO meet up with the woman you already have things to talk about.

 

[NewMan]

Squirrels is right on here.


I never had this problem.

I find it difficult to believe that your friend has nothing to talk about. Why does he not have the same problem with you?

I'm thinking he is either trying to entertain her all the time with his sparkling conversation - or he really has no personality.

You talk about life. About friends. About family. About the past and the future.

You talk about your hobbies, your desires, Your fantasies, your reality.

You talk about books, about TV, about the economy, price of gas, the weather, the vacation, the road trip, the gym.


It blows my mind that your friend has nothing to talk about.

Smack him upside the head.

 

[SDFUandDie]

Re: tra la la la la...

Originally posted by aequitas
he was like in tears cause he never knew

he sure is senstive..sure he aint gay??

might be tryna hit on you... lol j/k

 

[Climax]

squirrels: yeah... i DID mention a few places like u did, and he said that he would try it... but then he went and said " So what will happen after i take her to all these places?" and he said " & what if i just wanna go meet her at the waterfront/shopping centre? so are those places out of bounds because they do not stimulate enough conversation?" .. So i answereds that wherever u are, there will always be things to talk about, but i think that he has a little problem believeing that.

hmm... NewMan: All those things that u mentions that he should talk about with her he already has... and plenty more...

What i think the problem is here though is that they spend TOO MUCH time togeather and speaking.... and now when they are so use to speaking so much & there is nothing much to spk about it frustrates him/her/them.

Every day he phones her and they speak for a good hour at least, and now he sais that he CANT phone her anymore cause there's nothing to say, lol... but ya... & he sais that he cant NOT phone her cause then he will miss her too much.

When he suggested to her that they should take a break for a weak in the past (for other reasons) she started to cry & go mad, so i dont think that he wants to go through that again (suggesting to take time appart) ...

... I myself really am also finding it hard to believe that he has NOTHING to talk about... cause for Example, if i walk in a shopping centre with a girl we always talk about different things we see in shops, people around us, what we wanna buy, and we go into shops, we look at things, we try things on & ask eachother what we think etc... but with him it seems that he has already DONE all that.

He seems to have an exucse for everything... so i really dont know what to tell him other than doing NEW things that he has not done with her in the past.

maybe that double dating idea would work well though, cause then he could see what the other couple speak about and then could get more ideas maybe.

well ok... thanx for all the input guys, & if u have any other ideas, plz dont hesitate to share

Otherwise.. I'll catch up wit ya'all laterz...