what to say to "you REALLY don't get me"

[brekke]

what to say to "you REALLY don't get me" ?

I have this girl that seems borderline nuts. She is always trying to get my attention and talk to me. She is pretty and intelligent and talented, so I like to talk with her.

Now she started saying stuff like "you never listen to me", "you don't get me at all", "you don't trust me", "you don't listen to what I say". What does this stuff mean, and what should I say back to her?

 

[WaterTiger]

I have this girl that seems borderline nuts.....what should I say back to her?

GOOD-BYE! I'm off to find a girl who isn't borderline nuts!!!:wave:

 

[runner83]

I have this girl that seems borderline nuts. She is always trying to get my attention and talk to me. She is pretty and intelligent and talented, so I like to talk with her.

Now she started saying stuff like "you never listen to me", "you don't get me at all", "you don't trust me", "you don't listen to what I say". What does this stuff mean, and what should I say back to her?

My take - ironically, I think it's because you are actually listening to what she says.

You're in danger of slipping into a friend zone, probably from sticking to sensible conversation.

What she wants is a guy who "gets" what attracts her. So mix it up, never be predictable and tease her.

If she enages you back then it's on. And if not, either she's not interested or too dull. Either way, you'll find out sooner rather than later and you can move on.

 

[L B]

If she's so "intelligent and talented," she should have been able to make you understand/trust/listen to her.

Sounds like she's not getting her way with you, so she's throwing out stupid things like that. If she does not respect you enough to be patient with you, you should not waste your time with her. Sounds like trouble ahead, steer clear while you can.

 

[jonwon]

I have this girl that seems borderline nuts. She is always trying to get my attention and talk to me. She is pretty and intelligent and talented, so I like to talk with her.

Now she started saying stuff like "you never listen to me", "you don't get me at all", "you don't trust me", "you don't listen to what I say". What does this stuff mean, and what should I say back to her?

Your girl seems to be a little crazy, but most chicks are.

One rule to remember with women is to not take them seriously.
Simply brush her off like you would do a child, picture yourself as the guy who gives your girl a verbal playful teasing spanking for her being stupid and acting over emotional.

Types of replies.

Her
"You never listen to me"

You
"Sorry what did you say"

Her
"You dont get me at all"

You
"I wasn't aware we were playing kiss catch"

Her
"You dont trust me" - i'll come back to this gem in more detail, this usually spells a problem in the relationship.

You
"I'd trust you more if you made me a coffee"

Her
"you don't listen to what I say"

You
"Sorry did you say something"

The more you can hold onto the sort of expression that your teasing her in a ****y sort of poking her way, and keep that frame even if she blows up more the better it will be - Picture yourself delivering those lines with a look on your face that hints at a deeper knowing and understanding at the forces at work and simply deflecting her emotional outbursts with ****y humour that is borderline - designed to make zero apology.

The key is to not be afraid and to stand up to her - the whole excercise is you being superior to her in controlling your own frame - the worst thing you can do is entertain her emotional outbursts and get sucked into the drama - the best thing you can do is to flip it around so that if she is serious with her emotional fuc*ary, she will apologise to you, eventually after you tossed her in an 'out' - if she persists, simply walk away from her and tell her "You seem to have a few issues, I suggest you deal with them". Go for a smoke, or simply go home and leave her to stew.

The thing is though underneath the responses, is the need for her to ask the questions in the first place -

These questions are usually from a girl who has a male friend, which your gut is warning you about - hence why she is tossing in the emotional bombs to cloud your mind from what you see - You judge her words and not her actions and get sucked into her drama - she becomes the master of the play and you nothing more than a puppet.

Women say alot if you listen.

Does this girl have a male friend you are uncomfortable about? I would say she does.

If a girl says' that 'you dont trust me' it's usually because she is untrustworthy.

 

[boomerick]

OK ...soooo you like to talk to her .....is that your only interest????

If so treat her like you would a guy who says this kind of stuff......

If a guy said this stuff he would explain himself and a resolution would be found or you wouldn't be able to come to terms and you would probably stop hangin out....

However I'm thinkin something else is afoot....

I suspect that you are trying to line this chick up for sex /dating / relationship and now that she's not being agreeable you want to know what to do to steer her back into your powerful DJ control...

My question back to you is this --- Why not be true to yourself and just agree with her....

"Yep (flaky girl's name) I guess I just don't see it that way." "...I don't listen.....""...I must have trust issues if you say so ..."

If she's got you this confused and unsure why bother with her??

Hell, you aren't even dating and she sounds like she's practicing to break up with you ....

Why not keep workin and find new chicks who bring positives to your life???

Is someone on this forum gonna give the magic answer, advice, or technique that's gonna make her belly up to you???

Even if that were to happen how long before you are tired of her crap???

Hows about just keep your self respect, have confidence enough in yourself to know that other girls are out there who will like you, and write this one off as a flaky girl whom you luckily dodged??

I don't know....just seems like too much work for p*ssy

Over and Out.

 

[brekke]

Thanks for the replies guys. I don't care if I have this girl, but I was just wondering if this is some kind of girl strategy because they want something. I just don't see what she gets from acting like that. I have ignored it so far.

 

[Sandow]

She wants attention from you and you're not giving it to her. Probably because she likes you. That's it.

 

[Sandow]

If you keep ignoring her she'll move on. If you want something out of this now is the time to do it. You gave the push now its up to you if wanna do the pull.

 

[brekke]

This is a related thing, but with a different girl. She is interested, but says "I am not interested". She calls me, texts me saying "wahhhhh...why don't you wanna talk to me?", and just acts really interested. Like, she will come on messenger right after me and go on and offline every minute to make the thing beep, but I ignore it...then she sends a message after 30 minutes. Stalks my facebook even though she is not a friend, then talks to me about things on there.

I told her that she just wants me to give her attention to make her feel good.

^ If this all seems dumb to you, these are girls in their late teens. But does "I am not interested in you" actually mean that to these girls? Or is it like playing hard to get?

 

[jophil28]

This is a related thing, but with a different girl. She is interested, but says "I am not interested". She calls me, texts me saying "wahhhhh...why don't you wanna talk to me?", and just acts really interested. Like, she will come on messenger right after me and go on and offline every minute to make the thing beep, but I ignore it...then she sends a message after 30 minutes. Stalks my facebook even though she is not a friend, then talks to me about things on there.

I told her that she just wants me to give her attention to make her feel good.

^ If this all seems dumb to you, these are girls in their late teens. But does "I am not interested in you" actually mean that to these girls? Or is it like playing hard to get?

Trying to 'decode' what she says and what she 'reallly' means makes you a chump .You have made the grand mistake of allowing yourself to be dragged into womens' mindgames. You are looking for 'signs' of real interest under all their adolescent cr*p. Why bother? In playing your part in these mindless games you are encouraging them to play more of them with you (and other guys).

The way to play is NOT to play - go to radio silence and do not reply to any attempt to toy with you or engage you in these pointless exchanges.

However I think that you (like most of your contemporaries) will ignore my advice and continue to be followers of women instead of leaders of men.

 

[jophil28]

GOOD-BYE! I'm off to find a girl who isn't borderline nuts!!!:wave:

Yep ^^^

 

[Kailex]

She is interested, but says "I am not interested". She calls me, texts me saying "wahhhhh...why don't you wanna talk to me?", and just acts really interested. Like, she will come on messenger right after me and go on and offline every minute to make the thing beep, but I ignore it...then she sends a message after 30 minutes. Stalks my facebook even though she is not a friend, then talks to me about things on there.

I told her that she just wants me to give her attention to make her feel good.

^ If this all seems dumb to you, these are girls in their late teens. But does "I am not interested in you" actually mean that to these girls? Or is it like playing hard to get?

She's not interested. She couldn't have been more blatant about it.
She just wants the attention... and you know it... so why tell her?

Obviously the only way to deal with someone like this is to simply ignore them.
If you ignore them, they'll eventually go away.

Stop analyzing each and every breath they take.

 

[brekke]

However I think that you (like most of your contemporaries) will ignore my advice and continue to be followers of women instead of leaders of men.

I am a normal guy, not a "dj" or something like that at all. Just wanted some insight into female psychology, and thought you guys on here with tons of experience would know. I guess nobody really knows what girls are thinking when they say stupid, contradictory, or nonsensical things.

 

[OMGWTFLMAO]

Some girls who aren't interested still want you to be interested just because they want to be wanted. It gives them a sense of power. It's no different than a guy wanting girls they don't want a relationship with to want to have sex with them. Dudes want sex and chicks want to be found desirable and pursued. That's just the nature of things.

 

[brekke]

This is from another girl today : "You know, i'm not like you , so you'll never understand me". Why the hell do they say this crap?

I just told her "I don't want to". Then "what am I like?" (mistake to ask I think)

She said "Why do you wanna know, your ego is so big, my opinion isn't important".

I ended it there.