What to make of my ex?

[Sin Verdad]

Just broke up with this girl on Wednesday, and we decided to be friends (it was actually mutual). I don't want to get back with her as we just aren't compatible that way and I want a cooler broad. Anyways, I work with her. We worked with each other Friday and were playful and cool with each other. Saturday she told me she is going to dinner with a friend of hers that lives in my hometown, so she wanted to change at my place and get the rest of her stuff that she had over. I said it was cool.

Anyways, when she came over I was on my computer and stood up to get something. She pushed me on my bed and took her shirt off. I didn't know what to make of it but I started kissing her boobs anyways. Then she tells me she can't have sex with me and she got in the shower. Before she left she started kissing my neck and we made out for a little? Also she told me to keep some stuff of hers there in case she decides to come hang out sometime.

What do you guys think of this? Is she just trying to tease me to try to get back with her? I really don't think she wants to get back with me but I'm not sure. She did say that all her ex's try to get back with her all the time and she knows I would never be like that, so I think maybe she's trying to get me to like her to keep her ego in check. What do you guys think?

 

[blackbelt2k]

This is what happens when you stop putting women on a pedestal...they chase you. When you guys broke up, it sounds like you were cool and unphased by it. She now see's this and is like "wait, why isn't he upset or trying to get me back?"...it's driving her crazy. The jumping on you and taking her shirt off is a test and a tease. She wants you to come crawling back so she can boost her ego.
If i were you, i'd continue to play it cool. And the next time she tries to tease you, push her off, and tell her straight up, "if she wants to fuk, you'll fuk, otherwise you got better things to do than be teased". Take control of the situation.

I see this a possible fwb. Make use of it, you could be in a dry spell until you get another chic.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Sounds like a power play. She took off her shirt and came on to you to see if you would take the bait, and once you did she jumped right off. I would have told her something like "nice try, but keep your stuff; we're not dating, remember?" Don't let her leave crap at your place. If you guys decide to hang out again at your place have her bring what she needs and take it with her when she leaves.

Also, maybe she had a hot date that night and needed an ego boost and to feel "beautiful" before she went out with the guy that will actually be having sex with her. Hard for us to say from our keyboards, though.

 

[slickaz]

shes testing you dude..
wants to see if you'll take the bait.

it looks like you played it cool, you took the bait.
but dont let her do it too much.

because she pushed you down and took her shirt off.
you shouldve asked her, ok whats going on?
bcoz then atleast you put it in her mind that you're only about to do what you're doing because you find boobs attractive...not specifically hers..and ur connecting with em.lol..coz the after shower makin out..not cool..you shouldnt have let her do that..once she says no fvkn..no more touchin

 

[Sin Verdad]

Oh ok. Well to be honest I really don't even think I want to have sex with her again. If she does came back up thats the only reason I want to see her though. If she asks to come over how do I make it clear to her the only reason I want her up is to have sex? Do I just tell her straight up? I don't want to play games.

 

[Acq]

my ex would sit near my house and send me a ton of emo messages when I showed no interest... disgusting, really. then when I felt horny and lonely I would let her in, screw her and drive her home.

and when we finally broke up forever, it was "all my fault"...

 

[DJDamage]

Sounds like a power play. She took off her shirt and came on to you to see if you would take the bait, and once you did she jumped right off. I would have told her something like "nice try, but keep your stuff; we're not dating, remember?" Don't let her leave crap at your place. If you guys decide to hang out again at your place have her bring what she needs and take it with her when she leaves.

Also, maybe she had a hot date that night and needed an ego boost and to feel "beautiful" before she went out with the guy that will actually be having sex with her. Hard for us to say from our keyboards, though.

:yes: I agree

Oh ok. Well to be honest I really don't even think I want to have sex with her again. If she does came back up thats the only reason I want to see her though. If she asks to come over how do I make it clear to her the only reason I want her up is to have sex? Do I just tell her straight up? I don't want to play games.

wait I am confused, first you say you don't want to have sex with her then you say that the only reason you would want to see her is for sex?! make up your mind.

You both are playing games with each other, she is looking for attention and power and you are looking for sex. You two cannot be friends, and fvckbuddies are not really friends.

 

[Sin Verdad]

I'm not sure if I want to have sex with her again is what I mean. If she made it clear she would come over and would do it I'd probably let her, but otherwise I'm not really interested. I think I'll just move on and find a better girl

 

[Sin Verdad]

Ok guys. I haven't called this girl or talked to her since Saturday, but I work with her so I'll see her next Saturday. If she asks to come over, I am just going to respond with an "I don't think so" or maybe "No, not interested". You think this is the best way to go about this? I remember before we broke up she claimed all her ex-boyfriends still call her all the time and try to get with her, so I"m sure she's shocked I haven't called her yet.

 

[Latim]

Ok guys. I haven't called this girl or talked to her since Saturday, but I work with her so I'll see her next Saturday. If she asks to come over, I am just going to respond with an "I don't think so" or maybe "No, not interested". You think this is the best way to go about this? I remember before we broke up she claimed all her ex-boyfriends still call her all the time and try to get with her, so I"m sure she's shocked I haven't called her yet.

Just tell her that you already had plans

 

[Mavrick]

I have to ask this. Why do you care what it means?

You said you didn't want her other than friendship. So, what's the deal? Do you want her or do you not want her? If you didn't want her, you wouldn't care what her tactics where, and you'd know exactly what she was trying to do. You would know that her tactics are to see what you really feel about her. So, act exactly like you don't care because you only want her as a friend.

 

[Sin Verdad]

UPDATE

Well I work with this girl and I basically stopped giving her attention since we broke up. Not being mean and I would say hi and stuff, but never would go up and talk to her or call her or anything. She texted me a few times and I responded but nothing serious. Anyways, she kept trying to flirt with me all week and asked if I wanted to hang out Saturday. I said "No way. We broke up" and she stormed off.

The next day she asked me to hang out next Saturday and I said no again. Later that day she says "Why don't we just hang out Tuesday". My roommate is out of town, so I told her "No, just come over tomorrow night. We're just going to talk though". She came over last night and we had sex again. I don't think it's going to be a long term thing but I am pleased that my skills are improving.

 

[KontrollerX]

Haha, very nice.

Keep up the whole thing you've got going of never giving in to doing what she wants because she's not your girlfriend.

The idea being that she'll have to beg you to be her boyfriend again if she wants to do things with you like she used to.

Even if that pans out though you still have to be careful as this whole thing is likely just her trying to get her ego validated by making you chase her and then poof she's gone without a care in the world for you ever again.

Never let that happen and you'll always have her beat at her own stupid game and you'll always have power over her and be in her thoughts for the rest of her life.

 

[Wodan]

Just broke up with this girl on Wednesday, and we decided to be friends (it was actually mutual). I don't want to get back with her as we just aren't compatible that way and I want a cooler broad. Anyways, I work with her. We worked with each other Friday and were playful and cool with each other. Saturday she told me she is going to dinner with a friend of hers that lives in my hometown, so she wanted to change at my place and get the rest of her stuff that she had over. I said it was cool.

Anyways, when she came over I was on my computer and stood up to get something. She pushed me on my bed and took her shirt off. I didn't know what to make of it but I started kissing her boobs anyways. Then she tells me she can't have sex with me and she got in the shower. Before she left she started kissing my neck and we made out for a little? Also she told me to keep some stuff of hers there in case she decides to come hang out sometime.

What do you guys think of this? Is she just trying to tease me to try to get back with her? I really don't think she wants to get back with me but I'm not sure. She did say that all her ex's try to get back with her all the time and she knows I would never be like that, so I think maybe she's trying to get me to like her to keep her ego in check. What do you guys think?

She wants you to chase so she can say no and get an ego boost, Lets face it she was going for dinner with another man, teased you then didnt give you sex.

And she left stuff round yours? Thats a cat

She's done it so that whenever you see her stuff in your house youl think of her to make you more intrested and F with your head. Dont play along unless you have no feeling at all for her and would be willing to have sex with a woman being F'd by someone else.

 

[Sin Verdad]

So should I EVER text or call this girl? I see her three days a week at work so I think that is enough. I usually go Mon-Thurs without any contact with her since we ended it.

 

[KontrollerX]

Nope.

No texts or calls from you.

She has to go to all the effort for you until she starts begging for you to be her boyfriend again at which point you can agree to that if you want but you still have to watch out as if its all about her getting validated she will be a good girl for a long while to you in the relationship but all the while be planning a breakup strategy in order to get you to chase her or emotionally effect you enough to verbally lash out at her so make sure to break up with her first and even if she beats you to breaking up remain cool and calm and unaffected by it giving her no reaction whatsoever.

Be polite if you see her out and about and she tries to talk to you but keep conversation extremely brief and even make excuses for having to be some where to get out of talking to her for too long.

 

[Wodan]

Nope.

No texts or calls from you.

She has to go to all the effort for you until she starts begging for you to be her boyfriend again at which point you can agree to that if you want but you still have to watch out as if its all about her getting validated she will be a good girl for a long while to you in the relationship but all the while be planning a breakup strategy in order to get you to chase her or emotionally effect you enough to verbally lash out at her so make sure to break up with her first and even if she beats you to breaking up remain cool and calm and unaffected by it giving her no reaction whatsoever.

Be polite if you see her out and about and she tries to talk to you but keep conversation extremely brief and even make excuses for having to be some where to get out of talking to her for too long.

I second that but think you could find lots of girls that are less hassle than that. Ask yourself is it worth it when other girls just as attractive wont. She's probably just acting like that thinking it will boost her esteem thats been damaged by a guy that dumped her for someone else.

 

[Playboy]

Nope.

No texts or calls from you.

She has to go to all the effort for you until she starts begging for you to be her boyfriend again at which point you can agree to that if you want but you still have to watch out as if its all about her getting validated she will be a good girl for a long while to you in the relationship but all the while be planning a breakup strategy in order to get you to chase her or emotionally effect you enough to verbally lash out at her so make sure to break up with her first and even if she beats you to breaking up remain cool and calm and unaffected by it giving her no reaction whatsoever.

Be polite if you see her out and about and she tries to talk to you but keep conversation extremely brief and even make excuses for having to be some where to get out of talking to her for too long.

You know -- my experience in life actually leads me to agree with this advice wholeheartedly. The guesses to what a woman is thinking and making her seem that evil is a bit much, I dont really think it's some kind of conscious vendetta because women are torturous byaches but the actual advice is definately spot on with how to deal with this sort of a situation. I've done it the wrong way and the right way. He's giving you the right way.

 

[Sin Verdad]

Ok. I'll just act like I was before, because that's how it worked before and that's really how I feel anyways. She did kind of ask me to be her boyfriend again (After sex asked me "If we just had a break") but I never outright answered her.

 

[Jeffst1980]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=149268


I can already tell that you are going to take her back, whether or not you intended to.