An LTR/Marriage definitely limits a guy's ambitions in most circumstances. My advice is always to remain unattached or non-exclusive until such time as a guy can understand what his value is to a woman and the accountability he will assume by getting involved in a marriage or LTR. Yet again, this is why I always advise men to never even consider monogamy until 25 and I'd revise that to maybe 30. Guys like to entertain the idea that they're the special case and that the woman they chose (or chose them more often than not) will support or at least tolerate his ambitions and his personality while she entertains the idea that she'll 'fix' him to coincide with her own expectations.
However that's not to deny that in some relationships, such as my own, the woman (my wife) is in fact supportive of the ambitions I have and makes sacrifices in order for me to achieve them. That said though, the decisions and ambitions I have also have to fit her sense of security - I am limited to what I can pursue; for example, I just completed a dual deegree in Fine Art and Psychology. This took me 4 years to complete with the sacrifice of a lot of personal time between not only us, but my daughter as well, my wife was very supportive of this because it benefits all of us. However, if I had aspirations to go back to becoming a rcokstar or any other goal I may personally find satisfying, but she didn't feel was 'worth' pursuing, then the issues of accontability, responsibility and liability are forced.
If all your husband's highest aspirations were was to play X-Box, drink beer and watch anime for days on end I'd think you'd be less supportive of him.
I have too many male friends and have counseled too many frustrated men with the same story. They got involved before they had a chance to really understand what was expected of them and what their worth really was. Their aspirations died, not entirely because some woman killed them, but because they were convinced that they had to let them go in light of the responsibilities they had to assume. The women they became involved with only hindered them,but they took it upon themselves to limit themselves. Also remember that this limitation isn't just about career moves, but a guy's own personal understanding of himself. It's a natural tendency for women to want to 'fix' a guy into the mental schema she's internalized a guy should be. It's the "he's not perfect, but I'm working on him" mentality that is the most damaging form of accountability in an LTR. If a guy is developing an understanding of himself that conflicts with her idealization of the 'perfect boyfriend/husband', her logical recourse will be to alter this understanding to accomodate her expectations - and again her methods for engendering a different self-perception for the guy are fostering an internalized sense of responsibility, liability and accountability. Let me be clear, I'm not suggesting that this is some malicious plot most women secretly have - in fact I'd go as far as to say that most women are completely unaware of their behaviors in this regard or their expectations have been so regularly reinforced by their family and peers ("he should do the 'right' thing") that it becomes an ego investment and taken as a given that the question of their motives never enters their thoughts.
All this may sound like I'm down on marriage, I'm not anti-marriage, I'm anti-bad-manipulative-lack-of-understanding-marriage. I've been happily married for 8.5 years now, but (with the exception of having a kid) I knew what I was getting into. I got lucky. I have a wife who does limit me in a sense, but supports me in other ways. At the same time she know what I expect of her and takes action to comply with me. That's not to say I don't get the occasional sh!t test that I have to man-up to, but that's what reminds her that she married the right guy. I have to go against her expectations to be who I am and not compromise certain aspects of my life and personality and this is as it should be. No woman wants you to agree and identify with her all the time, this is what guys don't get before they get involved in an LTR. In fact the surest way for my wife to lose all respect for me would be for me to give up my identity and acquiesce to every expectation she has. She has to be told 'no' and be able to humbly accept it. Guys seem to think that if she doesn't get her way all the time she'll go frigid on them when in acuality it's these instances that help her affirm her attraction to them.
And yes, there are great experiences that you share together as a couple, but these experiences have to be earned by both sexes after they have a mature understanding of who they are. There's a common myth that good marriages take constant work; this is nonsense. Guys understand working at a relationship as trying to figure out what it will take to get her to put out more regularly and women see 'working' on a relationship as 'working' on him. A good relationship is effortless if both people know who they are themselves and no one is 'working' to change the other. It's later, maybe years into the relationship that women realize that all their 'work' has been for nothing since he wont change for her or he changes so much to her specifications that she realizes he isn't his own person, has no spine and she moves on to the next fixer-upper. And guys get to the point where they figure it's less work and more rewarding to go back to trying to figure out what it takes to get into the pants of random women being single again, than trying to figure out what compromise it'll take to get his wife 'in the mood' for a watered down passion.
