What to do?

[Heaven or Hell]

To keep it short..

I like a girl, she likes me, but in the past she told me that she is not ready for a relationship, now that she IS, she likes/liked someone else. She told me she wants to work on things with ME now, but for the moment, she only wants to be "friends with benefits" untill she is ready to move on/not have feelings for anyone else. I really like this chick and dont want to lose her and i HAVE fallen for her, hard... so if you were me, what would u do? would u accept the situation and see where things go with her? or would u move on? (which is something i really dont want to do) ... any help / advice will be greatly appreciated.

thanx for your time.

 

[Heaven or Hell]

thanx for the reply... but...

I guess that if the girl REALLY wants to be with me, she will do more that just delay things even more... but this girl is ALWAYS confused about everything... she is 16 and the one day she will tell me she wants to be with me and hug me and be with me etc, and then she proposes that we only be friends at the moment... so i dont know what to do... I have never liked a girl so much, EVER! and this whole situation is really confusing me.... but i just realised that, if u really wanted to be with someone, you would do whatever it takes, and u wouldnt waste time... but i dont know... anyone else wanna give me some input?

 

[themystifier]

Re: thanx for the reply... but...

im in a simmaler situation. this girls even told me that she likes me a lot but we tried going out before and ended up not as friends and it sucked and she doesnt want to go through that again so being the nice guy i am said that we didnt have to go out and now im regreting it. its a tough situation to be in.

 

[Heaven or Hell]

Originally posted by themystifier
im in a simmaler situation. this girls even told me that she likes me a lot but we tried going out before and ended up not as friends and it sucked and she doesnt want to go through that again so being the nice guy i am said that we didnt have to go out and now im regretting it. its a tough situation to be in.

Yeah... that kinda happened with me, and i never spoke to her for a few weeks, then i started speaking to her again and we just clicked again, but the thing is, is that she got involved with another guy, and then whatever happened between the 2 of them ended, and now she says that she wants to be with me, but she needs time because going into a relationship with me while she still has feelings for another guy is wrong, but she said that she wants to spend time with me, take it slow, and work towards being with one another in the near future... the thing is, is that i dont know if i should trust her again and risk having my heart broken again by her, or as painful as it would be, to move on... so I'm just asking others opinions to try and see/get an idea of what i should do, because right now, i am so lost and confused

 

[SlyD4rK]

Dude...

dude its time to cut your losses...i know, i know, it seems like she is the most beautiful person in the world.........blah blah blah blah....and you get these squishy feelings in your stomach and you dont know what to say.....etc. etc.

one word: NEXT!

i know its hard, but remember their is always a better looking/ better personality out there, and than maybe that time you wont fvck up the first time

-my 2 cents, take it or leave it

 

[dannowillbookem]

hey man if u next her theres only two things that can happen:

you'll fall for someone who appreciates u

and/or

she'll chase after u like a mad dog in the midday sun


so either way is good stuff. i would next her and if she puts up some bull**** about not being ready for a relationship or something, tell her you arent ready to sit around and wait.

 

[Heaven or Hell]

Re: Dude...

Originally posted by SlyD4rK
dude its time to cut your losses...i know, i know, it seems like she is the most beautiful person in the world.........blah blah blah blah....and you get these squishy feelings in your stomach and you dont know what to say.....etc. etc.

one word: NEXT!

i know its hard, but remember their is always a better looking/ better personality out there, and than maybe that time you wont fvck up the first time

-my 2 cents, take it or leave it

The thing is, is that she is perfect... her personality is perfect, we click, we just get along so well, everything about her and "us" is perfect, and she DOES want to work towards making things work and stuff... so wont it be a shame to just "next" her? maybe things WILL work this time? I just cant see what i have to gain by letting her go, as appose to sticking around for a bit and see where things go... i duno.... am i realy wasting my time with this girl? if so, then why? what makes u think that things wont work out? argh!

 

[Heaven or Hell]

I see... but...

Originally posted by dannowillbookem
hey man if u next her theres only two things that can happen:

you'll fall for someone who appreciates u]

Probably, but I dont think that I'll find a girl that is as beautiful and as perfect in my eye's, as SHE is.

and/or

she'll chase after u like a mad dog in the midday sun

thats not going to happen because when we ended the 1st time, she moved on and got involved with someone else because she thought that "it was over for good between the 2 of us", as she puts it.

so either way is good stuff. i would next her and if she puts up some bull**** about not being ready for a relationship or something, tell her you arent ready to sit around and wait. [/B]

Yeah, I tell myself that all the time.. i say to myself "why the f*ck am i waiting on this girl for so long? if she wants me, here i am, she must come take me while i am offering my love to her" but every time i think of moving on and letting her go, i cant do it, i just cant imagine living without loving her, its so hard

Lets say i want to make things WORK with her, what would you guys say i should do?

thanx for all the help by the way.

 

[SlyD4rK]

dude, get the msg across that you want her, but dont need her....your becoming an AFC again...dont let it happen, you can do it, have confidence, now go out there and tell her what's up

 

[Heaven or Hell]

Originally posted by SlyD4rK
dude, get the msg across that you want her, but dont need her....your becoming an AFC again...dont let it happen, you can do it, have confidence, now go out there and tell her what's up

1) But i DO need her in my life, so must i lie to her? thats not what a relationship is about, i want to be truthful with her

2) If you think about it, when in a relationship u WILL have to become an "afc" to an extent eg: in order to make ur girl happy

3) She knows what’s up, she knows i love her, she knows i wanna be with her, and she knows that she wants to be with me, but then she also knows that she cant because she still has feelings for someone else, so what SHOULD she do? what would a normal chick do in this situation?

 

[SlyD4rK]

curious....how old are you...because if you read a lot of the stufff on this site....then you shouldnt be in a serious LTR untill your age 25

and hey if you want to be an AFC then so be it...we can no longer help you(well i cant)

Edit: to me, an LTR is not worth it anymore, because
a) i will get in the situation you are and get screwed, and lose all self-esteem
b) or...their isnt an alternative...

believe me when i say that 90% or more of HS relationships (LTRs) do NOT end up in marriage....and if they do....they end up getting divorced within 2 years...but hey anythings possible...if your convinced shes the one then go for it...but heed my warning because i once felt the same way about a girl..like she was the one and nothing was gonna come between us...than she broke-up with me.....i was heart-broken for an eternity.....that was last august...and im only now getting to the point where i am comfortable with girls again...but once again, dont listen to me if you dont want to...

 

[Heaven or Hell]

thats for the help man... i am 18 atm, she is 16. I read this site here and there, and i have read the bible twice, but in the bible it doesnt really tell u how to act in a situation like this without just telling u to NEXT the girl, which is not something i want to do.

anyways... thanx for the advice, I think i'll just "go with the flow" with this one and see where things lead.

thanx again

 

[SlyD4rK]

yeah im 15 and ive been through most **** (relationships, LTRs, all your regular AFC crap) that most people go through for years...

and im glad i helped

Edit: BTW pm me with updates i'd like to see where this goes

 

[Heaven or Hell]

hehe, ok

Edit: BTW pm me with updates i'd like to see where this goes

will do (if i remember ur nick name)

 

[dannowillbookem]

ARGH i'm reading ur replies heaven and hell, and man i cant take it anymore.

STOP SAYING U NEED HER. really i'm guilty of it too but u gotta move on and meet some other girls i promise u if u look around things get so much better....oh and ur personalities "click"? dude ur her girlfriend with a sausage. just do this...next time she shuts u down etc tell her okay. just okay. tell her that u want her but u dont need her.

obviously what ur doing isnt working so change gears man.




why DO fools fall in love? lol

 

[SlyD4rK]

danno, maybe he'll listen to you because i said that for like 5-6 posts and he is still convinced she is the 'one'

i like the g/f with sausage comment, haha

 

[dannowillbookem]

lol yeah i figured that...i didnt feel like reading all of them.

hehe made it up right then.

 

[SlyD4rK]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16631

this link is how-to guide on LTRs on getting out of the LJBFs zone check it out...long-ass read though

 

[Heaven or Hell]

hehe... you guys are so quick to just next a girl... but i dont believe in giving up, and things atm are looking good, actually. We might have had a little bit of a rough ride getting here, but she was immature, and so was i, but now we have learnt from our past mistakes, and we can actually try and make things work. I know that it might be a waste of time, but we have gotten THIS far, so why not just wait a LITTLE BIT MORE and see where things go? But yes, i agree with you guys, if she DOES give me bs again, then i guess i'll give her the cold hand

thanx for the help guys.

 

[Climax]

a tip...

I have been in a similar situation in the past, and girls like that tend to always give u problems of some sort (while they are still young and immature), but hey, if your "journey" with this girl is coming to the end, and its either gonna go to things working, or the 2 of u parting ways, then fine, stick around for a little while longer and see where things go, but if I were u, as soon as I saw that she is starting her bs again, I would tell her that you're not going to put up with it anymore, and the 2 of you need to come to an understanding/agreement about where things are going.

Its actually scary how similar this situation is to the one I was in a while back, but I took a stand, i let her know that I was not going to just wait and get dragged along with her bs, I sat her down, spoke to her, told her how I feel, and I told her that it was not on and she needed to make up her mind.

We decided (after a looong talk) that we would take things slow and just "fall in love with one another again" ... and today... we are happy, and together. So what I’m saying, is that if you play ur cards right, you'll come out on top, either way.

P.S.: You might wanna give my LTR forum a visit, the link is in my signiture.


Laterz...