What to do?

[Ronaldo7]

I go to the gym 6 times a week. My rest period consists of me checking for imperfections to be corrected in the mirror. That's just me. Since i am so consumed in the gym, i don't go out anymore to clubs or anywhere else. Gym, eat, sleep. My only chance to meet women is at the gym. However, when i check myself, that is the only time i see them looking at me. They also have an annoying gesture about it. Today i went up to one of the women that does this and asked her about it. I asked her if she was going to give me her number or just admire me from a distance. She told me that she wouldn't give her number out to someone that checks himself out and wouldn't pay attention to her. What gives? How can she make assumptions that i'm full of myself and such and she doesn't know me? What other way is there to approach women at the gym? (The ones that give you glances and looks).

 

[TheStig]

First off, to someone that doesn't know you at all, be it male or female, it comes off as very douchey and self absorbed to be checking yourself out at the gym.

However, it's perfectly normal to want to see your progress and your weak points, that's fine. It's also is good to watch yourself lift because then you can spot any problems with form, but in that case shooting some video is better because then you have something to go back and analyze, plus you aren't distracting yourself from the task at hand by trying to watch in the mirror.

But to what extent are you looking at yourself in the mirror? Between every set? For how long?

Personally, I'll snag a quick glance every so often, or if nobody is around, do some flexing just to see, but I don't do it much at all...maybe once or twice per workout if I happen to be by the mirror.

Today i went up to one of the women that does this and asked her about it. I asked her if she was going to give me her number or just admire me from a distance.

That's an alright opener, if the delivery is right and you don't use a conceited sort of tone. Gotta keep it lighthearted with a smile and not be too serious, say it in a joking sort of way (from your post history I can see this not being the case). Was she actually admiring your physique, or just watching you check yourself out with a look of disgust? If they have 'an annoying gesture about it' that doesn't sound like admiration.

I don't know man, just from your original post I get the idea that you're like one of those guys you see spend more time in front of the mirror than actually lifting. The privacy of your own home is really the place to check yourself out if you feel the need to do so.

Props for your dedication though.

 

[Ronaldo7]

First off, to someone that doesn't know you at all, be it male or female, it comes off as very douchey and self absorbed to be checking yourself out at the gym.

However, it's perfectly normal to want to see your progress and your weak points, that's fine. It's also is good to watch yourself lift because then you can spot any problems with form, but in that case shooting some video is better because then you have something to go back and analyze, plus you aren't distracting yourself from the task at hand by trying to watch in the mirror.

But to what extent are you looking at yourself in the mirror? Between every set? For how long?

Personally, I'll snag a quick glance every so often, or if nobody is around, do some flexing just to see, but I don't do it much at all...maybe once or twice per workout if I happen to be by the mirror.


That's an alright opener, if the delivery is right and you don't use a conceited sort of tone. Gotta keep it lighthearted with a smile and not be too serious, say it in a joking sort of way (from your post history I can see this not being the case). Was she actually admiring your physique, or just watching you check yourself out with a look of disgust? If they have 'an annoying gesture about it' that doesn't sound like admiration.

I don't know man, just from your original post I get the idea that you're like one of those guys you see spend more time in front of the mirror than actually lifting. The privacy of your own home is really the place to check yourself out if you feel the need to do so.

Props for your dedication though.

Read this sentence again. "My rest period consists of me checking for imperfections to be corrected in the mirror". That means that between every set when i FINISH it, i check myself in the mirror. I keep a stopwatch with me to track time, so no i don't go just to check myself and not lift.

Hm. What do you mean by my post history that its not the case? I always try to joke around and not take things too seriously. Therefore, i'm a bit confused by what you mean here. Don't they always say here to judge a woman by her actions and not her words? Her actions are looking and glancing, while her words say otherwise.

 

[TheException]

it comes off as very douchey and self absorbed to be checking yourself out at the gym.

First off I have to say...as a personal trainer....we literally laugh at people like you. And Im not here to be putting you down...but its true. Previous poster nailed this...you look RETARDED. Theres also a trend that people that check themselves out in the mirror dont use it for WHAT ITS THERE FOR...to check proper form. So in other words most times your the type of guy that does 1/2 the range of motion for a bicep curl.

"My rest period consists of me checking for imperfections to be corrected in the mirror".

Rest periods are not for flexing and checking out all your hard muscles and where certain muscles could be bigger. That quote might be the douchiest statement Ive ever heard before....use rest periods to catch your breath, drink water/gatorade, and stretch.

Since i am so consumed in the gym, i don't go out anymore to clubs or anywhere else. Gym, eat, sleep. My only chance to meet women is at the gym.

A sh1t excuse to not being going out man^

I work 8 hours a day as a personal trainer in the gym, I spend and hour working out myself, and yet I still have time to take care of everything else I need to...and still be able to relax and go out with my friends. THATS atleast 9 HOURS IN A GYM...I dont think your there anywhere near that, so fix your attitude and make time for friends.

 

[TheStig]

Read this sentence again. "My rest period consists of me checking for imperfections to be corrected in the mirror". That means that between every set when i FINISH it, i check myself in the mirror. I keep a stopwatch with me to track time, so no i don't go just to check myself and not lift.

Hm. What do you mean by my post history that its not the case? I always try to joke around and not take things too seriously. Therefore, i'm a bit confused by what you mean here. Don't they always say here to judge a woman by her actions and not her words? Her actions are looking and glancing, while her words say otherwise.

I'm talking about that long ass abomination of a thread that you started a while back about how you're better than everyone (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=201381).

But yeah in between every set for your entire rest period is excessive...I mean that's fine, do whatever you wanna do, but just saying to most people that comes off as douchey, I almost can't believe you don't realize that, and are surprised that girl said what she said

 

[Dali_tx_o]

"The gym pickup is totally possible. Yeah, we’ve all heard how women don’t like to be hit on at the gym where they are “under construction” and not fully prepped to be approached by guys, but nevermind that. I find a spot next to a cutie to do my bike or treadmill warmup, preferably one not wearing headphones, though if she is a light tap on her arm, smiling, and a motion to take off her headphones works well. Here’s where I come in with the fun stuff. Never be serious in a gym pickup. That’s a killer. Usually there’s a TV set nearby so I’ll say something like “I can’t believe what’s on this TV. Sports again! And golf no less. What’s a guy gotta do to watch a little Desperate Housewives in the gym? Is that too much to ask?” Anything to get her laughing and smiling, because if you look around that’s the last thing girls are doing in the gym. Get her attention, open with a situational observation, then playfully flirt. That’s the basic formula. Once I’m in, I start vibing. Running the treadmill is ****ing boring so most girls I’ve successfully opened would welcome a 10 minute conversation. I wait for her to start asking me questions, then move into my close. I tell her I have to get back to my real workout but that I liked talking with her and we should hang out. Then I suggest a date to meet, usually one not too far in the future. I don’t have a phone with me, so I say “Just give me your number. Don’t worry, I have a feeling I won’t forget it.” Then I get back to working out so it doesn’t look like I’m at the gym to pickup chicks."


From http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2007/06/28/the-pump-is-better-than-coming-in-a-woman/

 

[Ronaldo7]

it comes off as very douchey and self absorbed to be checking yourself out at the gym.

First off I have to say...as a personal trainer....we literally laugh at people like you. And Im not here to be putting you down...but its true. Previous poster nailed this...you look RETARDED. Theres also a trend that people that check themselves out in the mirror dont use it for WHAT ITS THERE FOR...to check proper form. So in other words most times your the type of guy that does 1/2 the range of motion for a bicep curl.

"My rest period consists of me checking for imperfections to be corrected in the mirror".

Rest periods are not for flexing and checking out all your hard muscles and where certain muscles could be bigger. That quote might be the douchiest statement Ive ever heard before....use rest periods to catch your breath, drink water/gatorade, and stretch.

Since i am so consumed in the gym, i don't go out anymore to clubs or anywhere else. Gym, eat, sleep. My only chance to meet women is at the gym.

A sh1t excuse to not being going out man^

I work 8 hours a day as a personal trainer in the gym, I spend and hour working out myself, and yet I still have time to take care of everything else I need to...and still be able to relax and go out with my friends. THATS atleast 9 HOURS IN A GYM...I dont think your there anywhere near that, so fix your attitude and make time for friends.

Laugh at people like me? I am one of the most dedicated people you will see at the gym. From diet to training, i do everything as if my life depended on it. I don't think you understood me at all. I check myself in the mirror to check for imperfections. Maybe i need more here or more definition type of thing. I also love myself and like to check my reflection.

I have lots of time to drink water, breathe, and check myself. You can all do all of those in a minute. It may be a "sh1t" excuse, but its the truth. The thing is that i don't drink, i don't smoke, and i don't stay out late because i need my 9+ hours of sleep. The only place i have to talk to people, pick up girls, etc, is the gym. It's the only place i go to, besides the grocery store to get food. I also have to eat every 2 hours and it becomes a pest going around with 2 backpacks with protein, food, and capsules i need to take.

I'm still undecided though. People preach here to judge her by actions and not words. She looks and then she says something contrary. If i am to guide myself by what people here say, i would assume she is interested in me and she simply feels i'm too good for her. Those are her actions. Then her words say that she isn't too happy about me.

 

[TheStig]

Laugh at people like me?






I also love myself and like to check my reflection.

You answered your own question.


Nobody can read your mind and know how dedicated you are, and they probably aren't going to stalk you and see how often you go to the gym, they're just gonna see you checking yourself out, and think, "What a douche."

 

[Viral]

. However, when i check myself, that is the only time i see them looking at me. They also have an annoying gesture about it. Today i went up to one of the women that does this and asked her about it. I asked her if she was going to give me her number or just admire me from a distance. She told me that she wouldn't give her number out to someone that checks himself out and wouldn't pay attention to her. What gives? How can she make assumptions that i'm full of myself and such and she doesn't know me? What other way is there to approach women at the gym? (The ones that give you glances and looks).

I'll sum it up. She's labeling you as 'just another guy checking himself out and hitting on women'. As simple as that. Now maybe you are that way, maybe you aren't. But we make snap judgements of people based on the images we see of them and what categories those fall into.

A fat guy eating chips looks a certain way and he probably acts a certain way. I have no idea who this guy is, what he does, what he's like, but I assume he's not an inspiring type of person. Or someone I want as a close friend... And Just like that I disqualify him.

It's the same thing in the woman's eyes.

 

[JoeMarron]

The thing is that i don't drink, i don't smoke, and i don't stay out late because i need my 9+ hours of sleep. The only place i have to talk to people, pick up girls, etc, is the gym. It's the only place i go to, besides the grocery store to get food. I also have to eat every 2 hours and it becomes a pest going around with 2 backpacks with protein, food, and capsules i need to take.

What is your goal here? What's the point in having a perfectly sculpted body when you have no time to enjoy it? I'm no expert on fitness but I imagine you'll have to keep this up indefinitely if you wanna maintain your gains. At this rate you won't have the time to bang any chick because you'll be staying up past your bedtime to do so.

 

[Alvafe]

Laugh at people like me? I am one of the most dedicated people you will see at the gym. From diet to training, i do everything as if my life depended on it. I don't think you understood me at all. I check myself in the mirror to check for imperfections. Maybe i need more here or more definition type of thing. I also love myself and like to check my reflection.

I have lots of time to drink water, breathe, and check myself. You can all do all of those in a minute. It may be a "sh1t" excuse, but its the truth. The thing is that i don't drink, i don't smoke, and i don't stay out late because i need my 9+ hours of sleep. The only place i have to talk to people, pick up girls, etc, is the gym. It's the only place i go to, besides the grocery store to get food. I also have to eat every 2 hours and it becomes a pest going around with 2 backpacks with protein, food, and capsules i need to take.

I'm still undecided though. People preach here to judge her by actions and not words. She looks and then she says something contrary. If i am to guide myself by what people here say, i would assume she is interested in me and she simply feels i'm too good for her. Those are her actions. Then her words say that she isn't too happy about me.

yeah we laugh, have one guy in my gym he just flex himself in the mirror every time when he finish a set, we look at him like? WTF? he become a joke around.

for gym game well that will depend if the girls going there will be talking I don't have problem did some try with 2 there one I miss for lack of action other is half way and again need to act on it.....

but ronaldo if you want to look less of a douche stop teh flex in the mirror during your train, and go out don't matter if you go all time in the gym and don't have time, pretty much what I di is make certain I go at least 3 times a week, if anything come up I can miss a gym day and go out, if I go out late I can go try to go early to the gym and do just run a little or quick train if the sets i'm doing is fast.

if you really want to work more go to the gym and see if anyone is willing to talk btw the series

 

[crossedup]

The way I see it is what is the point of getting huge and sculpted if you put it to no use? All you have is potential energy and no action or kinetic energy. You are like the warrior who is clad in armor, but never puts his arsenal to use.

I used to think this way. Nice, big, ripped and looking good. However, I had no time for girls and my personality went to sh*t, my schoolwork suffered, and life just wasn't any fun. There was absolutely no point in the muscles. IMO, it's much better to stay in solid shape, but play the sports you love, keep the diet decently clean, but drink beer every so often and go out to eat with your family and friends sometimes. This will put you in a much more relaxed and fun state. You will not take life so seriously, and you will be far less full of yourself. You will be far more into other people. Happiness is in the relationships you make and sustain, not in your physical and material gains. I am far more driven than the average person, my track record speaks for itself, but I refuse to let my success take control of me. Focus on helping others with your whole heart, and you will attain respect, riches, and sex in return.

 

[Ronaldo7]

What is your goal here? What's the point in having a perfectly sculpted body when you have no time to enjoy it? I'm no expert on fitness but I imagine you'll have to keep this up indefinitely if you wanna maintain your gains. At this rate you won't have the time to bang any chick because you'll be staying up past your bedtime to do so.

I do have to maintain. We work hard to achieve the things we want. Building your body is a hobby SOLELY for yourself. I enjoy it in my own way. That's why i'm always checking myself in the mirror.

"At this rate you won't have the time to bang any chick because you'll be staying up past your bedtime to do so."

You have no idea.....Lol. That's why the gym is my only option to approach. I only have 2 hours in between every meal + going to the gym. I would also be only able to see them during the 2 hours in between. I probably wouldn't have enough time.

@Viral: I'm not hitting on them. She glances, glances, looks, glances, looks, and glances. I tried approaching her and i just get hit with that.

@crossedup: I was never to inclined to go out a lot. Before, i use to went out sometimes and such. The gym lifestyle is truly arduous and consuming, but when i look at myself, i see how great and amazing i look and those thoughts dissipate. I've never been into "other people, just myself. That has never been a problem... until now. We have different definitions of happiness. Happiness to me means obtaining and achieving all that you can for yourself.

Example: Bought a shirt for yourself. Learn a new language. Constructed your body, etc.

I could always just go up to a girl, depending on the person, just be like " are you down to bang". This could go wrong, but i've never cared what the other person thinks, just what i think. Some girls would be receptive, while others wouldn't.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Ronaldo, women like indifference from men, not super intensity posing in the mirror. If you have to, just do front lat spreads, most musculars, or side triceps. They can be done rather innocuously. I actually empathize with this as I often want to pose just to check out my work, but its not recommended. If you need to pose, get a girlfriend and send her pics lol. Even a just-a-friend girl that is into fitness. Or if you're really desperate, bodybuilding.com lol.



As far as whether the girl likes you, its not obvious either way.

I don't pose 24/7, just sometimes to admire myself.

How else can i know if she is interested or not? I have to approach her to find out, do i not?

 

[TheStig]

We work hard to achieve the things we want. Building your body is a hobby SOLELY for yourself.

THIS all day long..if one lifts solely to impress girls, then they're a sad case

 

[zinc4]

I go to the gym 6 times a week. My rest period consists of me checking for imperfections to be corrected in the mirror. That's just me. Since i am so consumed in the gym, i don't go out anymore to clubs or anywhere else. Gym, eat, sleep. My only chance to meet women is at the gym. However, when i check myself, that is the only time i see them looking at me. They also have an annoying gesture about it. Today i went up to one of the women that does this and asked her about it. I asked her if she was going to give me her number or just admire me from a distance. She told me that she wouldn't give her number out to someone that checks himself out and wouldn't pay attention to her. What gives? How can she make assumptions that i'm full of myself and such and she doesn't know me? What other way is there to approach women at the gym? (The ones that give you glances and looks).

Because you are acting gay like a woman checking herself out in the gym in the mirror...they might like your body but are turned off by how gay you are acting.....also just go the gym every other day or 5 days a week working different muscle groups...6 days is overboard..everyone needs a weekend to rest up and have fun and enjoy other things in life.Balance man balance...and don't check yourself out in front of women it just looks feminime.

There is nothng in this world gayer than na muscled up dude obsessed with always looking at himself in the mirror and many women and people in general will say the same thing...it's the opposite of indifference.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Because you are acting gay like a woman checking herself out in the gym in the mirror...they might like your body but are turned off by how gay you are acting.....also just go the gym every other day or 5 days a week working different muscle groups...6 days is overboard..everyone needs a weekend to rest up and have fun and enjoy other things in life.Balance man balance...and don't check yourself out in front of women it just looks feminime.

There is nothng in this world gayer than na muscled up dude obsessed with always looking at himself in the mirror and many women and people in general will say the same thing...it's the opposite of indifference.

I can't assume what women will think, can i? It can go both ways. If she gives signs of interest, am i not suppose to go approach? So what if i'm always flexing? That's my reward for killing myself every day at the gym. I don't have any other way of gratification, seeing that i don't go out at all.

I'm willing to go approach women who show an interest in me. However, it always ends up with you seem too arrogant or full of yourself. They perceive/predispose all these things already. I'm swimming against the current.

@TheStig: If you do it for the girls, sooner or later, you will end up bored, frustrated, and angry. It will become tedious to do it at all. That is the misconception people always have. You need to do things for yourself. It's laughable when people change their hairstyle and clothes, just to impress women. In reality, they should ALREADY be doing these things for themselves. People that do things to keep up, compete, or impress others do not care about themselves enough to be doing it without any incentive.

 

[TheStig]

@TheStig: If you do it for the girls, sooner or later, you will end up bored, frustrated, and angry. It will become tedious to do it at all. That is the misconception people always have. You need to do things for yourself. It's laughable when people change their hairstyle and clothes, just to impress women. In reality, they should ALREADY be doing these things for themselves. People that do things to keep up, compete, or impress others do not care about themselves enough to be doing it without any incentive.

Exactly.

It's funny because whenever I see the 'bros' doing their chest/biceps workout every single time they're in the gym, after a span of a couple weeks to a couple months, I never see them in there again. Not to mention sometimes they're in there dressed as if they're about to hit up the club. lol

 

[Gunner26]

Dude, come-on, is it really necessary to check yourself out for the entirety of every rest session to check for imperfection. For a start how much difference can you see on a set to set basis, once you've done warm up sets?

I mean I can understand that you want to check to see if you look ok. Is it vain, yea, but vanity isn't something too detrimental to your persona, so long as you keep it in check, which is something you don't seem to be doing, spending the whole time looking at yourself for gratification and to see imperfection.

Sure that up and you should be good to go.

As for the women, just because you see her looking at you doesn't mean she wants you to approach her, as a lot of posters here have said it's probably because you keep checking yourself out too much and look like you love yourself. As I just said vanity in excess or narcissism isn't attractive, in fact it can be a massive turn-off. While you may look fantastic, at the same time you look unattractive due to the way people are likely to judge you as a **** for constantly looking at yourself in the mirror.

Of course the only way to find out if the girl is actually checking you out, as opposed to just looking at you like a fool, is to go and say hello. I told you this is that last thread of yours as well, don't be doing that over the top ****y approach of 'I know you want me' tone it down a tad for Christ's sake, some of these women are already going to think you are a **** for checking yourself out in the mirror, being so ****sure isn't going to help in this instance.

Self depreciating humour might work here, it's probably not your cup of tea though so I won't give examples.

Finally before you actually approach these girls, read the signs properly, it can be hard, but some of these girls are just not going to want you to approach, especially with your direct opener.

That got longer than I thought haha

Gunner.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Dude, come-on, is it really necessary to check yourself out for the entirety of every rest session to check for imperfection. For a start how much difference can you see on a set to set basis, once you've done warm up sets?

I mean I can understand that you want to check to see if you look ok. Is it vain, yea, but vanity isn't something too detrimental to your persona, so long as you keep it in check, which is something you don't seem to be doing, spending the whole time looking at yourself for gratification and to see imperfection.

Sure that up and you should be good to go.

As for the women, just because you see her looking at you doesn't mean she wants you to approach her, as a lot of posters here have said it's probably because you keep checking yourself out too much and look like you love yourself. As I just said vanity in excess or narcissism isn't attractive, in fact it can be a massive turn-off. While you may look fantastic, at the same time you look unattractive due to the way people are likely to judge you as a **** for constantly looking at yourself in the mirror.

Of course the only way to find out if the girl is actually checking you out, as opposed to just looking at you like a fool, is to go and say hello. I told you this is that last thread of yours as well, don't be doing that over the top ****y approach of 'I know you want me' tone it down a tad for Christ's sake, some of these women are already going to think you are a **** for checking yourself out in the mirror, being so ****sure isn't going to help in this instance.

Self depreciating humour might work here, it's probably not your cup of tea though so I won't give examples.

Finally before you actually approach these girls, read the signs properly, it can be hard, but some of these girls are just not going to want you to approach, especially with your direct opener.

That got longer than I thought haha

Gunner.

I am reading the signs. At least i'm trying to. I always thought i was doing them a favor by going to talk to them. If my "opener" is too "****sure", what would you say then? I thought it was just they look, i look, and i go over there to ease their juices.

This approach thing is complicated then. In the last thread, posters told me to just go, just go, and just go.

And if i don't believe in myself, who will then? You mistake arrogance for confidence.

@TheStig: The best are the consistent ones. You don't measure an athlete by one good year he has had. You measure the accomplishments throughout his career. That's how you differentiate the weak from the strong.