What to do?

[thomasp]

okay, so i met this girl at karate and we kinda have talked a few times. so i added her on fb, she accepted and we started chatting one day, about karate and stuff. then, at the end of the conversation she gave me her #, and i was like :woo: but, like an idiot i texted her cuz im shy like that. (even tho she said "call me mabye" after she gave her phone #) anyway, i guess she didnt seem to mind.

so we were texting for about a week or 2 and she finds out that i like her, (she told me how "obvious" i was XD) so then i ask her if she has any feelings for me, and she tells me that she likes someone else but shes flattered, so i suppose that is good.

SO, then what happens is she was apperently texting to much but like an idiot i couldnt take a hint and she had to block me . so shes pissed at me, doesnt reply to my texts very often, nor does she on fb. (happened 2 sundays ago)

so i kinda decided to leave her alone, but ive kinda been messaging her alot on fb, so ive stopped that because she doesnt respond too often.

so, now we got to karate at kinda the same time. and so this tuesday, she was late to class and she ran through the door, where i was, and took at small glance right at me, no one else, which i thought was kinda weird. then, it happened again today. only what was weird about today was the fact that she is apperently in a relationship with someone now :-O so idk why she still looked at me? (it kinda seemed like a shy stare kinda thing, because when i noticed her she look away)

i was thinking she might like me, but then again, shes in a relationship, but shes the kinda girl that doesnt really take relationships very heavily, shes more of a flirt.

so what im wondering is what should i do? because i still want to be friends with her so we could mabye hang out, but idk about her feelings she a closed kinda person. also, should i try to call her in a week or 2 and try to apologize if i ever get the nerve? or would that be weird cuz she has a "bf". argh! idk what to do, because another thing is its really hard to confront her (both because im shy and shes always super busy at karate, so mabye somewhere else?) but, another thing is, is that she wont hang out with me outside of karate for some reason so i need to find z way to make her do that!

so anyway, sorry about the length, but theres alot of stuff going on in my head, if u have any questions or advice, please let me know.

thank you for your time,
Thomas

 

[The Gambler]

Thomas, keep reading some of the great advice posted here on the forum, since much of it deals with situations similar to yours. One basic principle that needs to be followed is to not over-communicate with females (texting, calling, love letters, etc.), because it seems to smother them and makes you seem less mysterious (gals love guys who are a bit mysterious and unpredictable).

It sounds like you already know much of what I'm saying, so now you need to figure out how to fine-tune things a bit to fit your situation. It's tough to keep from communicating with a girl when you really like her.... But you gotta try! No need to go to an extreme, by the way, but do chill more than you have been. And keep working on your confidence.... Women LOVE confident guys, even if they're not the captain of the football team.

Best of luck, please keep us posted!

The Gambler

 

[thomasp]

Thomas, keep reading some of the great advice posted here on the forum, since much of it deals with situations similar to yours. One basic principle that needs to be followed is to not over-communicate with females (texting, calling, love letters, etc.), because it seems to smother them and makes you seem less mysterious (gals love guys who are a bit mysterious and unpredictable).

It sounds like you already know much of what I'm saying, so now you need to figure out how to fine-tune things a bit to fit your situation. It's tough to keep from communicating with a girl when you really like her.... But you gotta try! No need to go to an extreme, by the way, but do chill more than you have been. And keep working on your confidence.... Women LOVE confident guys, even if they're not the captain of the football team.

Best of luck, please keep us posted!

The Gambler

thank you! but what do u mean by "chill more than you have been"? like try to hang out with her sometime/more?

 

[The Gambler]

thank you! but what do u mean by "chill more than you have been"? like try to hang out with her sometime/more?

Sorry.... all I meant by that is to lessen your Facebooking and texting. You already said you were going to do that anyway, and I think that's a great idea.

I'm naturally introverted like you are, so I know where you're coming from. We look for details and try to fit puzzle pieces together, and the need to over-analyze a situation is our downfall. This gal is apparently attracted to you, so at this point just play it cool and -- no matter how you are really feeling inside -- try not to act too excited when she communicates with you again.

After all, YOU are a worthy prize, right???

The Gambler

 

[thomasp]

Sorry.... all I meant by that is to lessen your Facebooking and texting. You already said you were going to do that anyway, and I think that's a great idea.

I'm naturally introverted like you are, so I know where you're coming from. We look for details and try to fit puzzle pieces together, and the need to over-analyze a situation is our downfall. This gal is apparently attracted to you, so at this point just play it cool and -- no matter how you are really feeling inside -- try not to act too excited when she communicates with you again.

After all, YOU are a worthy prize, right???

The Gambler

yeah, idk if she really likes me tho. i mean why would she get a bf? just to hide the fact?

 

[alxrose04]

First Thomas, I want to say welcome to the brotherhood. You're part of a special group of gentlemen. Don Juans are unlike nothing else!

Mr. Gambler hit it on the head. It seems like you over did it with the affection at the beginning. That kinda sends a girl into panic mode when you text her and send a bunch of messages. I dont know if you got the joke but whens she said "call me maybe" it was in reference to a song where a girl gives a guy her number and, in a shy way, tells her to call her.

But by the sounds of it, it sounds like all is not lost. You still have a shot. Maybe not now because she has a boyfriend and you should respect that. That still doesn't mean that you fade into the background. For now, dial back the attention and spread it around to the people around you. That will show her that she is not the center of your universe. Talk and laugh with other people at karate. She'll notice the fun and be open to your advances later.

Keep the conversation light and fun. I mean joke and have fun with her. And then make sure YOU'RE the one to leave. When a guy leaves, it's one of the most powerful things in the world. It shows her that your time is important and you're not going devote it all to her. That's ATTRACTIVE! Counter-intuitive but nevertheless, attractive.

Good lucks and hope to be hearing a lot from you young sir...

 

[LearningSlowly]

The word of the day, DJs, is CLINGY.

Clinginess kills attraction like nothing else. When you found out she liked someone else, you should have drastically reduced the attention you gave her (this shows that you only give attention to romantic options, not every girl you meet)

Hope that makes sense. There will be another girl in the future, do NOT make this same mistake.

 

[thomasp]

Update

First Thomas, I want to say welcome to the brotherhood. You're part of a special group of gentlemen. Don Juans are unlike nothing else!

Mr. Gambler hit it on the head. It seems like you over did it with the affection at the beginning. That kinda sends a girl into panic mode when you text her and send a bunch of messages. I dont know if you got the joke but whens she said "call me maybe" it was in reference to a song where a girl gives a guy her number and, in a shy way, tells her to call her.

But by the sounds of it, it sounds like all is not lost. You still have a shot. Maybe not now because she has a boyfriend and you should respect that. That still doesn't mean that you fade into the background. For now, dial back the attention and spread it around to the people around you. That will show her that she is not the center of your universe. Talk and laugh with other people at karate. She'll notice the fun and be open to your advances later.

Keep the conversation light and fun. I mean joke and have fun with her. And then make sure YOU'RE the one to leave. When a guy leaves, it's one of the most powerful things in the world. It shows her that your time is important and you're not going devote it all to her. That's ATTRACTIVE! Counter-intuitive but nevertheless, attractive.

Good lucks and hope to be hearing a lot from you young sir...

thank you guys! well ive kinda cut off txting for a little while(a couple weeks), then last thursday i txted her and she seemed fine about it for whatever reason. we also talked a little in person. then this weekend we talked for a couple hours with her and she seemed to be having fun, which is a plus. anyway, while txting she wanted me to invite her to ice cream with our family (which is what we do after karate haha) and so i said yea, but yesterday i just asked her and she said she couldn't but this is good, because it means she wants to hangout with me, right?

so anyway, i feel like our relationship is progressing along very well, sorry i havent posted anything earlier, it takes a while to do this kinda thing lol.