What to do?

[pokerlife]

Sup guys i dated this girl for 11 months and i treated her kinda bad.. I always did what i wanted and didnt spend much time with her.. She pretty much lived with me those 11 months... Anyways i guess she got fed up and started texting her ex boyfriend... She told him she still missed him and cared about him blah blah.... SO i found the text messages one night and woke her up to ask her WTF>.. She was quiet as a mouse and wouldnt talk .. She said what do you want me to say..

So we broke up and she got back with her ex.. They stayed together 2 months and she started coming around again.. She was close to my niece so she would come pick her up and take her to do things... She told me she missed me and wanted to get back together.. She is only 21 but she is buying her first house and has good work ethics... Anyways we got back together 4 weeks ago and im living with her,. I lost my drivers liscence due to a DWI soo she takes me to work every morning and cooks and all that.. Anyways she is inconsistent in her behavior towards me such as some nights she will call me baby every other sentence and show affection... She pretty much haves sex anytime i want it but something just doesnt feel right... A good friend of mine tells me i shoud ask her to marry me because shes a really good and smart girl// But key thing is been togetther all this time and she has never told me she loves me.. Shes kinda stuborn so i guess shes waiting for me to say it first... She also does what i ask her to do usally and shows me repect.. I dont even know what im asking you guys here because i guess i know what it is.. I DONT TRUST HER!!! I have been treating her really good maybe a little to AFC... Tryed some ****y funny on her last night and she ate it up but i hate having to do that stuff kinda feels like not being true to myself

 

[MikeEdward1973]

I'm confused - why are you asking what to do? I think you already have the answer.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Pokerlife,
You have it as good as it gets,any "Progression" in your relationship will be for the worse....enjoy.

 

[pokerlife]

OK so maybe i should tell her i love her first?

 

[Mr. Me]

^^^ don't be foolish.

>> I dated this girl for 11 months and I treated her kinda bad.. I always did what I wanted and didn't spend much time with her.>>

IOW, you neglected her.

>> So we broke up and she got back with her ex.>>

Actually, SHE broke up with you. It wasn't "we".

>> They stayed together 2 months and she started coming around again... She told me she missed me and wanted to get back together..>>

Which means, she went back to her ex, but the same issues were still there as before, and it wasn't the answer for her. So she starts missing the good things about you, overlooking the bad things that caused your breakup, and starts to branch swing back to you.

And your question is... she swings back toward you until she sees the same stuff that caused her to break up still exists and so she dumps you again?

She's 21. Too young to be serious about.

And you: learn how not to neglect a woman and keep her feeling good about herself, and they'll have less reason to dump you.

But look, with this one, you don't trust her. She's acted in such a way that you no longer can trust anything she says? Then it's a lost cause, man. Too much bad history. Likewise, she'll always think of you as capable of neglecting her. Find a new gal and start with a clean slate.

 

[decades]

You don't trust her so you're not ready for marriage and she certainly isn't. How can you even consider marrying a woman you can't trust?