What to do with my gf and my friend

[rockburn]

So basically some background information here. Me and my gf are both 16 years old, before I got with my gf, she sucked my best friend's d*ck at a party during a drunk episode. I did not know about this until after we were together. He laughed at me and I was the subject of jokes for a while, I confronted my girlfriend about it and she always gets upset saying I make her feel like a worthless wh0re. Eventually I realized it wasn't worth the stress and I've just accepted it as I think she's suitable for a LTR. We hardly ever mention my friend, it's become a taboo subject and in the 6 months we've been dating I havn't hung out with my best friend and her at the same time.
She hates my best friend because he apparently made her feel like a slut and told everybody about the encounter, I don't really feel sorry for her because it was her own mistake, however I don't feel comfortable being around him when she's with me, it just puts images into my head of them getting it on. She's not a wh0re at all, the only people she's had sexual contact with are my best friend and myself, him being her first sexual experience which she regrets heavily. I can't really be mad at my friend for any reason, so I just choose to avoid the topic of her when I'm with him and we never speak of it.

New Years Eve is coming up, and I'm used to spending it at my best friends house with him and about 4 other of my close friends. The problem is, I promised my girlfriend ages ago I would spend new years celebrations with her, however my close friends all expect me to be with them, and I would prefer to be with my friends but I don't want my gf to be dissapointed.
I was thinking of bring her to the celebration, along with one of her own friends, however the whole sense of awkwardness arises as this will be the first time she speaks to my best friend since their encounter about 9 months ago (3 months before I got with her), and it also takes place at HIS house.

I don't know what to do, I'm guessing if I want to spend valuable time with my friends I'm gonna have to bring her with me or she's gonna be let down, but I really hate the whole idea of them bonding again, because my friend can be a massive **** when it comes to girls, he's already guilty of ****ing one of my other friend's gfs, and he always falls out with people because he constantly stabs people in the back. I personality have trust issues with him, but I know my girlfriend is loyal to me now and nothing will occur.
Idealy however I'd rather celebrate with just my close friends

What should I do, thanks

 

[BraddH]

Why make a such a big deal about **** sucking? When you grow older, you realize sex is not a big deal. It is just a understanding of the two person to satisfie each other.

The whole taboo thing is where you messed this up. You should have never made anything a taboo. It will just haunt you forever untill you break up with your girlfriend. If your friends laughed at you for that stupid thing and they won't quit doing it, leave your friends. Otherwise there is no problem. Sexual counters happens all the time and is ABSOLUTELY natural. Understand this and there will never be any problem with this case anymore.

 

[pyros]

So basically some background information here. Me and my gf are both 16 16 and having sex already?years old, before I got with my gf, she sucked my best friend's d*ck at a party during a drunk your little gf is a total slut. There are girls that do not have sex until they're 23 but see what this one does already lolepisode. I did not know about this until after we were together. He laughed at me and I was the subject of jokes for a while, I confronted my girlfriend about it and she always gets upset saying I make her feel like a worthless wh0re you dont. She is a worthless wh-ore without you, and she knows it Eventually I realized it wasn't worth the stress and I've just accepted it as I think she's suitable for a LTR sluts are not good relationship material . We hardly ever mention my friend, it's become a taboo subject and in the 6 months we've been dating I havn't hung out with my best friend and her at the same time.
She hates my best friend because he apparently made her feel like a slutagain, she is a slut. She su-cks co-cks while drunk at 16... and told everybody about the encounter, I don't really feel sorry for her because it was her own mistake, however I don't feel comfortable being around him when she's with me, it just puts images into my head of them getting it on. She's not a wh0re at all yes she is, the only people she's had sexual contact with are my best friend and myself, him being her first sexual experience which she regrets heavily. I can't really be mad at my friend for any reason, so I just choose to avoid the topic of her when I'm with him and we never speak of it.

New Years Eve is coming up, and I'm used to spending it at my best friends house with him and about 4 other of my close friends. The problem is, I promised my girlfriend ages ago I would spend new years celebrations with her, however my close friends all expect me to be with them, and I would prefer to be with my friends but I don't want my gf to be dissapointed.
I was thinking of bring her to the celebration, along with one of her own friends, however the whole sense of awkwardness arises as this will be the first time she speaks to my best friend since their encounter about 9 months ago (3 months before I got with her), and it also takes place at HIS house.

I don't know what to do, I'm guessing if I want to spend valuable time with my friends I'm gonna have to bring her with me or she's gonna be let down, but I really hate the whole idea of them bonding again, because my friend can be a massive **** when it comes to girls, he's already guilty of ****ing one of my other friend's gfs, and he always falls out with people because he constantly stabs people in the back. I personality have trust issues with him, but I know my girlfriend is loyal to me now and nothing will occur.your 'friend' is not your friend and he's not a good person you can trust. You should not trust your little slut either, cause she's a slut.
Idealy however I'd rather celebrate with just my close friends

What should I do, thanks

terrible advise received above from Brad.

Anyway, what should you do?

1- You should realise your gf is a wh-ore. What does this mean? that she is probably untrustworthy and she has issues which will increase in time. Just wait a couple of years and see what she becomes...
Keep the sex part if you want but I would go find another girl who doesn't have drunk sex at 16.

2- Your guy friend is not a person you can trust. You said it yourself. Mark my words: If you keep him as a 'friend' it is a matter of time before he stabs you in the back. It could be next month or in two years. Keeping bad 'friends' around is something you should avoid, and if you dont do it now, you will regret it. Everybody realises this in time.

 

[Jack89]

Possibly some of the worst advice I've heard. Listen this is little bs at 16, and relationships at this time are a joke. You guys are not old and mature enough to understand what love is and lack the experience to make such decisions whether she is an Ltr or a ho. However you need experience so don't sweat this bs ****. Your gf giving neck once at that age is a common mistake most girls make and it's insufficient to call her a ho based off that. She wasn't cheating on anybody, and not doing it for money. As for your friend he is untrustworthy, and based on the description you gave of her he isn't a likeable character. I would keep them separate. It bros over hos, only if you have good friends. I would hang with the girl, next year you can do it with your friends no homo.

 

[BraddH]

Possibly some of the worst advice I've heard. Listen this is little bs at 16, and relationships at this time are a joke. You guys are not old and mature enough to understand what love is and lack the experience to make such decisions whether she is an Ltr or a ho. However you need experience so don't sweat this bs ****. Your gf giving neck once at that age is a common mistake most girls make and it's insufficient to call her a ho based off that. She wasn't cheating on anybody, and not doing it for money. As for your friend he is untrustworthy, and based on the description you gave of her he isn't a likeable character. I would keep them separate. It bros over hos, only if you have good friends. I would hang with the girl, next year you can do it with your friends no homo.

You are basically saying that this girl is not aslvt. And to leave her for the brother because bros before hoes. Look at what you are saying. Don't just go blabbering yada yada that you know **** about. Don't go spreading that stupid shvt that has been taught to you ever since you realised that afc doesn't work. It is the same svht that you just contradicted yourself over.

 

[rockburn]

terrible advise received above from Brad.

Anyway, what should you do?

1- You should realise your gf is a wh-ore. What does this mean? that she is probably untrustworthy and she has issues which will increase in time. Just wait a couple of years and see what she becomes...
Keep the sex part if you want but I would go find another girl who doesn't have drunk sex at 16.

2- Your guy friend is not a person you can trust. You said it yourself. Mark my words: If you keep him as a 'friend' it is a matter of time before he stabs you in the back. It could be next month or in two years. Keeping bad 'friends' around is something you should avoid, and if you dont do it now, you will regret it. Everybody realises this in time.

Here in the UK it's pretty common to start at 16 or even younger, I was the last of my friends to lose their Virginity, finding pure girls at 16 is difficult over here and and she was one of the few,.

I'm decent looking, I have my standards.
It's not about jealousy. It's about dating a girl that didn't actually fall for a ****. I thought: "No, I'm not dating someone who can't even call this **** out for his bull****. I want a chick that will see through him and ridicule him."
It's about keeping my standards. So that's why I made it a taboo subject and try not to think about it.

 

[backbeat]

she's a hoe in da makin suckin the c@cks at 16 let her go bro.

 

[rockburn]

What about the new years ****

 

[dk1990S111]

Im not going to try to label your girl as a slvt or a good girl that made a mistake.

But I will say you are stupid to be friends with a guy that A) has fvcked a friends gf B) you say yourself that you cant trust. A friend is supposed to be someone that has your back. If you cant trust this guy to have your back and be loyal to you then fvck him, he isnt a friend that you need, dont be dumb or one day youll be the one who has to deal with him fvcking a gf of yours. Would you trust him to not try anything with her if this girl and him were together alone? If you cant say YES for sure then there is a reason for that. Guys that dont respect you enough to see your gf is off limits 100% are not worthy of being called a friend

 

[narcissist]

The advice you REALLY need to hear.


This is going to be my advice to you: I am going to tell you what I wish i could tell myself when i was 16, now being almost 22 and going through 6 years of maturity since then.

I would tell myself to completely forget about women, and start a path of unrelenting perpetual betterment.

1) This entails becoming impeccably fit, by going to the gym on a strict regiment, eating a healthy diet and being consistent.

2) It also entails training your rationality and emotional fluctuations because rationality and emotional stability is not naturally endowed rather through training and hard work you can attain impeccable rationality and emotional control. These are EXTREMELY important in life. Also train yourself to be able to CRITICALLY THINK. This is literally one of the most valuable characteristics a person can have.

3) It also entails personal and institutional education. AS MUCH AS YOU CAN GET. Strive to be a striaght A student so you can go to Harvard or stanford on full scholarship and get a PHD of something that you are completely interested in. Also strive to be a polymath, a renaissance man. Someone who is good in all fields of knowledge. Learn science, math, philosophy, phycology, etc etc etc. Also strive to exercise your brain and mind.

4) I would tell myself to Take up an extra hobby such as an instrument or learning another language or writing philosophical manifestos and become unbelievably talented in whatever i pursue. Its hard in the beginning but over time you get exponentially better! People look up to others who have an interesting yet difficult talent. It also make life more fulfilling

5) This also entails following a path of philosophical inquiries in which you find out your own purpose in life and determine, via relentless reading and knowledge attainment how you want to live your life and what virtues you want to occupy. Read Socrates, Aristotle, Plato, Neitszche, Kant, Hobbes, Rousseau etc etc etc. These are the guys that are famous for their way of looking at life. They are the ones who have written the most interesting stuff on our existence.

6) Lastly, although women should be at the very BOTTOM of your list of desires, it will enevitably top the list naturally, because youre a 16 year old guy. So also work on becoming amazing with women by fine tuning your social capabilites and by talking to thousands of women. BUT be wary of them, and your emotions because they are ficcle, and you can land your self in a vortex of emotional turmoil if you yourself are not strong enough to handle it and inevitably waste precious time that could be spent doing more productive things

I would also tell my 16 year old self to NOT, WHATEVER YOU DO get into a relationship with a woman. As far as it goes is f*ck buddy. THATS IT.

I would tell myself that it is a waste of precious time that can be used to enhance more rational and productive activities that will make my life WAY more fulfilling.




Dude, dont let this socially constructed facade called love get the better of your rational faculties. Aristotle himself said that our rational faculties are humanity's overarching function which distinguishes us from animals and we can only attain happiness through following it. To go against your rationality would be going against your own happiness. There is not a truer statement than that!

The reason why i digressed from your question as to whether you should bring her or not is because I dont care personally about that. I think that you need different advice. You need to drop this girl all together and start pursuing your life as if everyday is your last day.

If you dont follow the above advice you will inevitably and unfortunately wake up one day with 5 kids that you dont want, working a sh*tty 9-5 with a lack of fulfillment in your life that will be perpetually hard to unshackle yourself from.

You are at the perfect age. Please take advantage of it.

 

[rockburn]

The advice you REALLY need to hear.


This is going to be my advice to you: I am going to tell you what I wish i could tell myself when i was 16, now being almost 22 and going through 6 years of maturity since then.

I would tell myself to completely forget about women, and start a path of unrelenting perpetual betterment.

1) This entails becoming impeccably fit, by going to the gym on a strict regiment, eating a healthy diet and being consistent.

2) It also entails training your rationality and emotional fluctuations because rationality and emotional stability is not naturally endowed rather through training and hard work you can attain impeccable rationality and emotional control. These are EXTREMELY important in life. Also train yourself to be able to CRITICALLY THINK. This is literally one of the most valuable characteristics a person can have.

3) It also entails personal and institutional education. AS MUCH AS YOU CAN GET. Strive to be a striaght A student so you can go to Harvard or stanford on full scholarship and get a PHD of something that you are completely interested in. Also strive to be a polymath, a renaissance man. Someone who is good in all fields of knowledge. Learn science, math, philosophy, phycology, etc etc etc. Also strive to exercise your brain and mind.

4) I would tell myself to Take up an extra hobby such as an instrument or learning another language or writing philosophical manifestos and become unbelievably talented in whatever i pursue. Its hard in the beginning but over time you get exponentially better! People look up to others who have an interesting yet difficult talent. It also make life more fulfilling

5) This also entails following a path of philosophical inquiries in which you find out your own purpose in life and determine, via relentless reading and knowledge attainment how you want to live your life and what virtues you want to occupy. Read Socrates, Aristotle, Plato, Neitszche, Kant, Hobbes, Rousseau etc etc etc. These are the guys that are famous for their way of looking at life. They are the ones who have written the most interesting stuff on our existence.

6) Lastly, although women should be at the very BOTTOM of your list of desires, it will enevitably top the list naturally, because youre a 16 year old guy. So also work on becoming amazing with women by fine tuning your social capabilites and by talking to thousands of women. BUT be wary of them, and your emotions because they are ficcle, and you can land your self in a vortex of emotional turmoil if you yourself are not strong enough to handle it and inevitably waste precious time that could be spent doing more productive things

I would also tell my 16 year old self to NOT, WHATEVER YOU DO get into a relationship with a woman. As far as it goes is f*ck buddy. THATS IT.

I would tell myself that it is a waste of precious time that can be used to enhance more rational and productive activities that will make my life WAY more fulfilling.




Dude, dont let this socially constructed facade called love get the better of your rational faculties. Aristotle himself said that our rational faculties are humanity's overarching function which distinguishes us from animals and we can only attain happiness through following it. To go against your rationality would be going against your own happiness. There is not a truer statement than that!

The reason why i digressed from your question as to whether you should bring her or not is because I dont care personally about that. I think that you need different advice. You need to drop this girl all together and start pursuing your life as if everyday is your last day.

If you dont follow the above advice you will inevitably and unfortunately wake up one day with 5 kids that you dont want, working a sh*tty 9-5 with a lack of fulfillment in your life that will be perpetually hard to unshackle yourself from.

You are at the perfect age. Please take advantage of it.

How do I break up with her after we've made such a close bond,it won't be simple, there will be an argument and she'll probably chase me or something

 

[narcissist]

Doesn't matter what she does. It matters what you do.

Break up with her short and simple, in person. Say you need time to yourself to become a better person. Say nothing more. Then initiate no contact and follow through with the advice I gave above. In 2-3 years of hard work your life will be a trillion times more fulfilling. You want to live your life so that each year becomes more positive, fulfilling and awesome.

Good luck. Pm me if you have any further question.