What to do when the woman doesn't reciprocate when you make a move?

[Genos]

When you're with a girl who seems to be interested you, lets you touch her etc., how do you react when she stops your advances?

On one occasion, I was hanging out with a girl, we were vibing really well. After a while, I told her to sit on my lap and she said no. I asked her a couple more times, trying to keep it light and fun ("the chair you're sitting on is structurally unsound, you should move to this one"), but she still said no. Obviously this was kind of a blow to my ego, as she wasn't complying, but I moved forward and we still had a good time talking to each other, I guess.

I can easily imagine this same issue when you move in for a kiss, and the woman turns her cheek - how do you react in these situations? Do you eject completely? Or perhaps when you touch her leg, and she is shocked and recoils? (This one has happened to me)

Obviously since she's on a date/hanging out with you she's at least somewhat interested, but still...she's not responding positively.

To be honest, in my current mindset, I'd just cave and eject totally...I don't want to make the woman uncomfortable nor want to put her in an awkward situation, so I'd just peace out and limit my interaction with her moving forward...but I don't know if this is the correct mentality to have.

How do you guys deal with situations where the girl says no to something you want to do? (Both your actions in the moment, and the mindset you should have?)

 

[kraytkiller]

If this is happening to you regularly, you need to raise IL and do other types of kino, like back/arm touching before you go to something so direct as kissing and thigh touches.

If they're recoiling, theyre uncomfortable and you haven't built the rapport necessary to make such a move. If they're ready, you should know, by studying signs or body language.

It sounds like you need to pay attention to their nonverbal queues, before you just go ahead and try things so direct. They will tell you when to escalate. It's usually rather progressive, however the length of each step differs from female to female.

For example: On a date, start with touching the small of their back as you open doors for them. Light arm touches. Short brief touches, like comparing hand size, high fives, ect.

Then move to invading personal space, possibly unnecessarily long embraces, eventually moving to holding hands.

Then move to sexual touches if you think you can get away with it, but again keep it light. Such as playful butt smacks, and really that's it because by this time her IL should be high enough for a kiss close.

Honestly the rate you do this and the levels you move to all rely on your balls.. and her IL. A girl who seriously wants your **** obviously you can skip hand holding. A girl who you barely know, should probably be escalated gradually. But That also depends on your skills

If they recoil, and your not expecting it, either make a joke if your smooth enough to do so without displaying insecurity. Which seems hard and situational, or show no reaction, move back an escalation step, re-escalate and try again later.

As you re-escalate, gauge her reactions and try to figure out what's going on.

But remember, only a chump is afraid to be a man.. if you can't figure out if you should make a move or not based on the signs shes giving you, then make the move. You'll have your answer soon enough, and living with rejection is easier than living with regret.

Interested to see others' opinions

 

[Thorninmyside]

I guess the most important stage of making a move is making her want you to. Reciprocation is a sign of interest, not a creator of it. I know guys think, if I can just sneak that kiss in, she'll feel the attraction and I'm in. But to me, seduction starts in the brain, and manifests in the physical, so if she turns her head to a kiss, you've misjudged and have failed to make her wet in the pants.

There's a fine line. Move too early and you blow it. Leave it too long and she thinks you're disinterested or a wuss. Have her anticipating, and then deliver: perfect timing.

 

[Mr_Maximus]

two steps forward, one step back.

 

[pyros]

If you wanna kiss her and she rejects your kiss, that is a bad sign. Anyway, depending on the situation and the girl, I would go for another kiss after a few minutes. If she rejects it again, she get's nexted cause she's not into you.

Anyway, if the girl doesnt comply with what you tell her it is always a bad sign. If she was interested in you she would gladly agree; when they don't it means they're not THAT interested.

Use the two strikes rule. For example, one day she may be feeling nervous and she doesnt feel like kissing a guy she barely knows in a public space. Ok, no biggie "one strike".
You drive her home and then you go for the kiss again. If she rejects it again, "two strikes", you send her to hell.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Honestly no offense man, but telling a girl to sit on your lap is kind of weird, especially if you've never gotten physical with her yet. I've never heard of that, and I feel like most girls would say no in that situation, but hey if it's worked for you in the past, then who am I to tell you to stop doing it.

But to your question though, I just play if off like it's no big deal and try to eject. This past winter a girl I had known from a few social gatherings, and I had gone out with her once, texted me at about midnight on a Friday night saying that she was in my area, asking me what I was up to. We all know what the midnight text means.

I invite her over to watch a movie, share a blanket on the couch and was getting physical with her under the blanket by rubbing her leg quite a bit, and she was into it.

Then when the movie was about over, I go in to kiss her and she turns her cheek. She acted all surprised like "what are you doing, is this why you invited me over?" I just shrugged it off and a couple minutes later I tried to kiss her again, and she did the same thing, saying she needs to get to know me better and date me for a long time.

I was like wtf, ok that's fine, I respect that, but then don't accept my offer of coming over at midnight to "watch a movie."

 

[amazingswayze]

In my experience, whenever a girl displays distasteful behavior, you pull back. Act like you don't care. You got to be able to brush off a rejection as simple as a head turn. Don't worry about it. There will be obstacles. Try again later. If your attempts fail again you need to seriously consider if this chick is worth your time. Is she?

 

[Genos]

This is some great information guys, thanks. The problem likely is, as you're mentioning, a lack of escalation progression and/or lack of interest.

Though in the scenario where the girl didn't want to sit on my lap, I had already put my arm around her when sitting next to each other and held hands on previous occasions, so I thought lap-sitting was pretty fair game. Again, this likely goes back to being smoother at escalating.

When you guys say two steps forward, one step back, and to try and re-escalate later, is this in the same period in which you're with her or another day? Is it better to wait to try that escalation step again, or go for it at the next opportunity?

 

[bigneil]

It wasn't "light and fun" to her if "she said no" and (you kept asking her).

You never ask a woman to sit on your lap (or to do any sexual gesture). She either does it without your asking, or you do it without asking.

That's like asking her to kiss you, or asking her to s*ck your d*ck.

When you make an advance and she says no, you walk away until she texts you back.