What to do when GF tells me about a guy hitting on her that i know

[shark]

Well, i.e. last night we drank and she told me about one of our friends who kinda made her feel awkward when he came behind her and hugged her tightly and picked her up. Then she brought up a weird convo they had online a few days earlier. In this situation what do i say/do. Do i say something to the kid, how do i say/act towards him/her?

 

[B-Lemond]

Didn't I tell you this before?....................uh.........yeah...I think I did.

TREAT HER THE EXACT SAME WAY SHE TREATS YOU


If she wants to tell you about some guy doing so and so to her, tell her that some girl came on to you. I don't care if you need to make the story up, just do it. See how she reacts to it. I don't know about you but I'm NOT going to listen to all those stories. I am the one that TELLS all those stories.

The point is to TREAT HER THE EXACT SAME WAY SHE TREATS YOU, thus you need to tell her some macking stories.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Did she actually say that she wanted you to do something? By the way, they cross paths pretty often so it seems.

 

[penkitten]

why is she talking to him online and allowing him to hug her and pick her up?

why did she wait to tell you when she was drunk?

 

[shark]

no no no..HE imed her. She sent me the convo. She was durnk last night when it ahppend and told me this morning. Again, she told me he came up behind her. Shes just being honest..and naturally i told her about a girl who kept touching me and stuff which was true.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by shark
...Shes just being honest..and naturally i told her about a girl who kept touching me and stuff which was true.

And telling her this helped the situation how????

 

[shark]

I'm doing to her what she's doing to me like bluelemond said.

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by shark
Well, i.e. last night we drank and she told me about one of our friends who kinda made her feel awkward when he came behind her and hugged her tightly and picked her up. Then she brought up a weird convo they had online a few days earlier. In this situation what do i say/do. Do i say something to the kid, how do i say/act towards him/her?

Ignore him.

I'm interested in why she's IMing him if she feels "awkward."

Something is rotten in the State of Denmark.

I might start freezing her a bit. When she comes back to ask you why you are so distant you explain that you don't have time to deal with a complex situation where she's got some kind of connection with this guy that makes you uncomfortable and that when you get in that spot you're not going to play jealous boyfriend and freak out. You're going to start to look at other options.

You are an active and interesting guy with a dynamic social life. You don't have time for girls who send signals to other guys and chat with them online.

You (entirely without anger): "Look, it's totally fine if you want to see that guy. I would understand, but I'm not going to sit around and watch it happen. Maybe you should get a hold of me when you have a better idea of what you want. Say, I have to head out as I am giving blood to the American Vampire Food Bank. I'm sure you'll figure out what you want." -click-

 

[shark]

HE messaged HER... and made HER feel uncomfortable.

If i said it backwards, my bad.

 

[jakeyboy]

she could be testing you to see how you'd react. (if you'd get all uptight and lose your cool)

i had a girlfriend do this to me once.

her : that brian guy is nuts i tell you. he keeps flirting with me and just yesterday he bear hugged me so tight i could hardly breathe! i wonder what he's up to.

me : oh that's nice. maybe you should buy him some honey. -continues reading magazine

never show your anger towards her directly.

do it in a cool totally calm manner. somehow it pisses them off more.

like what EP said..
" You are an active and interesting guy with a dynamic social life. You don't have time for girls who send signals to other guys and chat with them online.

You (entirely without anger): "Look, it's totally fine if you want to see that guy. I would understand, but I'm not going to sit around and watch it happen. Maybe you should get a hold of me when you have a better idea of what you want. Say, I have to head out as I am giving blood to the American Vampire Food Bank. I'm sure you'll figure out what you want." -click- "

all the best mate.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

god damn!! Will somebody answer this mans question!!

So she said that one of your boys or someone yall know is hitting on her, well, then you need to confront him about it, period.

I dont think its what the others here are saying. Now, say if the guy was doing it and she knew he was playing or whatever or they were friends, etc, then she would not be offended by it.
I think the guy is an AFC who does not get the point that she is taken, so I just think you need to remind him that my girl said you pmed her the other day or whatever and she doesnt want you pming her no more and neither do I because this is my girl...and if the guy cant understand that and tries to confront, pop his azz.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

hold on though buddy if you are still around, because after I read this again, it sounds a little fishy, so he pmed her right? Is this guy close to you guys, are you all friends? Because maybe he is just being friendly and your girl is actin bytchy and wants you to beat his azz for basically nothing? I mean, point blank, is this guy hitting on her, flirting with her, etc....or is he just acting wild like he usually does and your GIRL just wants to start acting like a bytch...if your girl is just trippin, then yeah, do what the others told you, but if the dude is trippin, do what I told you.

 

[shark]

He said some weird **** to her but i think he was joking around, but still, it was weird and out of line. The the hugging close and picking her up and being flirty with her..

all initiated by HIM..not by her

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by Mr. Cardio
hold on though buddy if you are still around, because after I read this again, it sounds a little fishy, so he pmed her right? Is this guy close to you guys, are you all friends? Because maybe he is just being friendly and your girl is actin bytchy and wants you to beat his azz for basically nothing? I mean, point blank, is this guy hitting on her, flirting with her, etc....or is he just acting wild like he usually does and your GIRL just wants to start acting like a bytch...if your girl is just trippin, then yeah, do what the others told you, but if the dude is trippin, do what I told you.

How did he have her number?
How did he send enough PMs to get awkward?
Why were they together alone in such a way that he could pick her up from behind without you there?

I don't know. I wasn't there.

Girls telegraph this stuff. Guys aren't dense.

Guys don't just walk up behind strange or semi-strange women and give them the Heimlich.

Plus, you really don't have any good possibilities here.

1. She's encouraging it, wittingly or not. In which case, use my lines above.
2. She's putting herself in situations with him that are careless. In which case, use my lines above.
3. She's into it and trying to cover with you ahead of time to deflect any sort of suspicion. In which case, use my lines above.
4. He's totally angling in on her. In which case she shouldn't be near him. Use my lines above.
5. She's trying to get between you and your friend. Use my lines above.
In short: See my approach above.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

hmmmmm, to be honest, I think your girl is just acting like a bytch here, but you can just be real with the guy and tell him your girl does not like being around him anymore, and if he is cool, he will understand that. But I think your girl is just actin like a bytch and takin things to the extreme....I dont think the guy was serious, I think he was just bullshyting around and your girl is actin like a bytch, she probably just wants to see a fight. Why couldnt she have just told him to shut the fvck up you are irriating me while they were online? When he picked her up from behind, why couldnt she just have screamed, PUT ME THE FVCK DOWN!! See what I am saying here? I think she is just trying to be a drama queen, dont buy into it.......tell the guy she doesnt like him, and ask her azz what I just posted here, about the online convo and when he picked her up..

 

[shark]

Basically, he is flirting with her and kinda wants her. I'm sure of that. He is both of our friends though, and i'm not worried about him taking her from me as i'm just better in every department so im no worried about that.

I just want to know if i should say something to him or not

 

[Mr. Cardio]

equity, you are totally right, at first, I kind of misunderstood the situation before I re read it again....

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by shark
I'm doing to her what she's doing to me like bluelemond said.

Who the hell is bluelemond? Dont play tit for tat thats supplication and her reality, and besides if you retort with "oh I had a chick doing the same thing to me" besides sounding like an insecure puzzy shes going to know its bullsh!t if she knows you well enough anyway if its not true.

Her telling you all this crap is just her way of saying "look at how much I'm desired, you better appreciate me yada yada" in other words its rubbish to a males ear. Let her see through actions that other b!tches are interested in you but dont tell her about it.

Next time she brings it up you should reply with "Excellent he has good taste, I'm hungry might go and make a sammich" and then dump it from your memory banks and make a conscious effort to nail her extra hard that night.

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by Mr. Cardio
equity, you are totally right, at first, I kind of misunderstood the situation before I re read it again....

No problem. We are all friends here.

It's not that I'm right or wrong. The trick is to develop a response that works no matter if you are right OR wrong.

DJudo.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

shark reevaluate the situation a little. Because if she is sending him non verbal, its okay to touch me or kino me signals, basically if the door is wide open for him, of course he is going to go in!! You need to check your girl out, because you know when girls dont liek AFCs right? You do know right? When girls dont liek AFCS, they wont talk with them online, and if the AFC even THINKS ABOUT touching her and picking her up from behind, she would slap the hell out of his azz or scream or something that showed disinterest!! Your girl did none of that, I think she actually is starting to have feelings for your buddy and is a little ashamed of it and wants you to go kick his azz for her having feelings for him....yeah, sounds dumb right. If your girl would not be giving this guy the open door signals, he would not do that shyt I am tellign you....and if its what you are saying and he is just grabbing her and talking to her and she is not interested, why didnt she scream or punch his azz when he picked her up, and why DID SHE CHAT WITH HIM ONLINE????